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Poem: Megalitha | |
| | Title | First line |
| 1997 Mar 2 | Territorial Seas Revisited | No, Man IS an island |
| 1997 Mar 23 | Lemur Song Unsung | From leprechaun to Lancer |
| 1997 Apr 26 | Trans-Atlantic Plagiarism, And The Combustible Alibi | Two doggerels, whelped in one litter |
*** | 1997 Apr 30 | Ovaltine Cannot Age My Kitten | Cracked, but half asleep |
*** | 1997 May 22 | One Smug Portillo, Timely Forgotten | These low and oily charmers |
| 1997 Jun 17 | Hiding Like A Hun (Portia's Lament) | Here comes the knight, mail clad, through the border |
| 1997 Aug 15 | Gloucestershire My Undiscovered Child | His elbow never faltered |
| 1997 Sep 15 | What if the Princess Can Seem Sentient Without Dissembling? | Cardboard |
| 1997 Oct 31 | Possible Idolaters in a Black Throat | In all my vast concerns |
*** | 1997 Dec 9 | The Alchemist's Crusade | If all the world were turpentine |
| 1997 Dec 16 | It's Entirely God's Business | Eleven, six or eight |
| 1997 Dec 17 | The Hopeless Love Clients | One Phoenix, hankering for love |
*** | 1998 Jan 4 | The Throat Effect | Gorgonzola partridge |
| 1998 Feb 10 | Type-cast Treachery | How undone as would be seen to show |
| 1998 Feb 19 | One Last Lobster Seeking Re-election | Ride onwards, lads, a new-born day |
| 1998 Mar 18 | Homer, Art Thou Heat and Lightness? | Before the dawn, the darkest hour |
| 1998 May 2 | The "Don't Bother Me" Paradox | She came at dawn and slit my throat |
| 1998 Jun 21 | Protracted, Dreamlike, Hermetic, Peculiar, Helpless | It may have been a Tuesday - the bus was late again |
*** | 1998 Jul 20 | At First Simply Guessing | There was a young lady fron Dar-es-Salaam |
| 1998 Sep 19 | Epitaph for the Ninth Night Shift | A snowman, weaned on Castor Oil |
*** | 1998 Oct 22 | Propose The Impossible | Jemima: take this catapult |
| 1998 Dec 2 | My Bahnhof Godparent | Carve this thought upon the bark |
| 1998 Dec 16 | Spray-on Orkney Sweater | In the winter's brutal smile |
| 1999 Jan 10 | Thumbscrews This Time | When your boots are filled with brandy |
*** | 1999 Jan 18 | When We Reconsider All Our Footsteps | My grandmother told me on one grand occasion |
*** | 1999 Feb 9 | The Lewd Mouths Squeal | Carnivores, despite the laws |
*** | 1999 Mar 20 | The Ballad of Archibald Sideways | The Ballad of Archibald Sideways |
| 1999 May 14 | Vulva buoy | Give me a coin and pass by |
| 1999 Jul 5 | Unpleasant Lacuna | To line our wombs with chemicals |
| 1999 Nov 18 | Bunuel, Masterly Engineer | I skipped among the parsley beds |
| 2000 Jan 31 | Pontifex Caught Under Bridges | Though drowning in the vat, I can |
| 2000 Feb 8 | Fencing Our Glass Baby | For all your faults |
| 2000 Feb 13 | Dancing Peculiar | My dear Professor, listen |
| 2000 Apr 24 | Picture This, My Chatelaine | Rembrandt, on his better days, |
| 2000 Jun 13 | We Falter, Our Falling Too Facile | Whose is the hand that eats my head? |
*** | 2000 Oct 3 | World One Hundred | If a man shall lack a shoe |
| 2000 Oct 11 | Equator Protest | Teach history slowly |
| 2000 Nov 12 | Beyond Any Logic | In autumn-time, a small spittoon |
| 2000 Dec 4 | Limpopo Cocktail | Rivals, fourteen inches high, |
*** | 2001 Mar 22 | Father, Forgive Our Carpentry | The practice of law is a terminal bore |
| 2001 Aug 31 | While Columbus Never Bothered | It's now been raining hereabouts for more than half a year |
| 2001 Dec 11 | Dreaming Our Favourite Cyclones | Wandering churchwardens, speaking in tongues |
| 2002 Jan 15 | Typist's Lament | Bloody machine! Why won't it behave? |
| 2002 May 15 | Colonels Crooning to Their Dowagers | To bridge the gap 'twixt man and machine |
| 2002 Aug 6 | Behind Beelzebub's Backyard | 'Make mine mink,' said the Minotaur |
| 2002 Sep 20 | Anniversary Epithets (if any) | August the eighth, Oh August the eighth |
| 2002 Oct 28 | This Way, Lord Byron | It's a long haul to Christmas, a long time to toil |
| 2003 Jan 29 | Remembrance of Things Pasteurised | The year was but a few weeks old |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Housemaids Singing on Sunday | Is this what we've come to? |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Dressed To Curl | Staring blankly through the glass |
| 2003 Sep 8 | Sequoia's Lawyers | The sycamore's riposte |
| 2003 Sep 23 | Further The Pope's Unwitting Conversion | Down the gullet, soft and sweet |
| 2003 Sep 24 | The Meagre Friend of Jugs | Newbie, newbisti, newbit |
| 2003 Sep 29 | Consciousness for Peptides | What will they think of next, those clever clever men |
| 2003 Oct 13 | Extended Gravity From The Spectral Register | Gosh! That cat's obscenely fat! |
| 2003 Oct 20 | Avoid Our Stranded Cactus | Dreaming of a potted snipe |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Arise, False Dawns! | Goliath in the cutlery-drawer |
| 2003 Dec 8 | From Here, Hence And Further | Is there anything I can say |
| 2003 Dec 29 | Windy City Icicles | A man must walk down twenty roads |
| 2004 Feb 12 | Gateways Home To Worthing | We set out, full of hope and ale, one grey December morn |
| 2004 Mar 31 | Tales Of Someone Taller Than Expected | Tell me, O Wanderer, whom do you seek? |
| 2004 May 7 | Carbohydrate Counts Against Each Mouthful | The problem of a bee city |
| 2004 May 25 | Today's Not Likely | Pardon my haste - I really must dash |
*** | 2004 May 25 | Rubbish-tip Top | The moving pencil writes and, having writ, it breaks |
| 2004 Jun 2 | Afternoon Delight Until Midday | City slickers in the sunlight |
| 2004 Jun 23 | Singing For Our Tea In C | A whipping-boy |
| 2004 Jul 2 | The Tale Of Squabbling Archangels | At first, it seemed an ordinary day |
| 2004 Jul 7 | Prosperity Falters If Poverty Persists Beyond The Breadline | Meathook |
| 2004 Jul 13 | Zeppelin Without Page | Said Benk, the lusty bear, |
| 2004 Aug 16 | Those Whose Every Movement Counts | I chanced upon a postcard |
*** | 2004 Sep 16 | Satanists With No Desire For Pontifical Stripes | I bought a thing on ebay |
*** | 2005 Jan 11 | Welcome To Darci | Delightful news! An heiress to the line |
| 2005 Aug 8 | Farewell, My Lively Oystercatcher Nymphs | Heading off to sunny climes |
| 2005 Sep 18 | One Will Between Friends | In opting for a greyer black |
| 2005 Sep 27 | Prematurely Concluded | Envoi |
| 2006 Feb 10 | Boots Were Made Before Souls | A basement, and a base intrigue |
| 2006 Mar 7 | Yorick And Friends | The azimuth is past |
*** | 2006 Mar 9 | NB: In Memoriam | The blackest of shields by the light of the moon |
| 2006 Apr 5 | Dreary Days Compounded By Snowstorms | Have you seen the Nothing man, |
| 2006 May 12 | Only Lagging | At altitudes like these |
| 2007 Jan 11 | Spurned To Glory | Let us now praise famous mounds |
| 2007 Mar 15 | Lest We Forge Unwitting Jubilation | These brinks on which we teeter |