The Spoonbill Generator Archive
A Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007
*** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Index of First Lines — Poems by Colour
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The Spoonbill Generator ArchiveA Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007 |
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Poems by Year: 1996 -
1997 -
1998 -
1999 -
2000 -
2001 -
2002 -
2003 -
2004 -
2005 -
2006 -
2007 *** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Index of First Lines — Poems by Colour | |
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Poems completed in 2003 | |||
Title | First line | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Poems open in a new window | |||
January | |||
| 2003 Jan 2 | Alexandrian Wish Warrior | Upon a star I wished one day | |
| 2003 Jan 3 | My Liverpool Lament | Percival the scouse louse | |
| 2003 Jan 4 | Xenophobic Popping | Bisexual biplanes bifurcating | |
| 2003 Jan 8 | Gloves of Careful Nutmeg | Like rising, having slept for years, | |
| 2003 Jan 8 | Please Not Sideways, Arabella | Dreary as a paper towel | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | Unknown Railway Station Blues | Pimrod was a snappy lad, | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | I'll Surely Trample Your Tractor, My Love | I had a little tractor | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | In Lemons | Why, tell me why, is the future so green? | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | Jolly Thirsty Pirates | Fifteen men on the Dead Man's Chest | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | Regurgitate Afresh | I ring alarms with my Nan | |
| 2003 Jan 10 | With Alewife Entwined | 'My suspenders came from France...', the naughty minx confessed, | |
| 2003 Jan 10 | Squeeze the Glands Beyond Table Manners | There's nothing so original | |
| 2003 Jan 12 | Commentary Arising From My Previous Uncials | Another riposte | |
| 2003 Jan 17 | Rumour Pills | Licensed to kill, my dear | |
| 2003 Jan 22 | What Are Flemish Trousers? | Astride the edge of any knife | |
| 2003 Jan 23 | Ferocious Nightgowns | In dread of the foe | |
| 2003 Jan 23 | Fauré, Mendacious In Cairo, | Less than catarrh | |
| 2003 Jan 24 | Orfeo The Ineluctable | As lame as a fish | |
| 2003 Jan 25 | Beyond Bursting-Point | I walk a mile each day before my tea | |
| 2003 Jan 27 | Samantha's Sinister Hockey Tour | My hermitage, lodged safely on the crag | |
| 2003 Jan 27 | Person or Thing Unknown | The first time I went to Iraq | |
| 2003 Jan 28 | Groovy Chicks Abound Herein | Big stuff is going down, dude | |
| 2003 Jan 29 | Autocratic Penitent | Sailing down the seventh stream | |
| 2003 Jan 29 | Remembrance of Things Pasteurised | The year was but a few weeks old | |
| 2003 Jan 30 | Zen Roots | Balanced calm across the bay | |
| 2003 Jan 30 | Peace Comes Drivelling | We were a million strong and growing | |
February | |||
| 2003 Feb 5 | Sheepish Ambition | If the thought of hope is not enough | |
| 2003 Feb 5 | Herring Orphans of All Totnes | How horrid is the elephant | |
| 2003 Feb 7 | Control of Our Feet in Darkness | Moonlight softened the angry lines | |
| 2003 Feb 7 | Longings Unknown to Science | Why should I ration | |
| 2003 Feb 11 | Overtures Misunderstood | Why are men so damn complex? | |
| 2003 Feb 20 | Acrimony for Unknown Pontiffs | Doctrine of the spiral stair | |
| 2003 Feb 20 | First Downtime | Emollient, conciliatory, I ventured | |
| 2003 Feb 20 | Immediately Nobody | The cobbler, blind for seven years | |
March | |||
| 2003 Mar 7 | Dead, Undone, Unmeasured | Naked, dripping, loins all soap and tension, I rise from the bath | |
| 2003 Mar 9 | Pestilent Ploughshares, Deficient Turnips | These latter-day halfwits, invading the turf | |
| 2003 Mar 11 | Mountainous Piques | What God did on the seventh day | |
| 2003 Mar 18 | A Relativity Prayer Shawl Thrown Aside | I quaffed nine cups of joe this morn | |
| 2003 Mar 18 | Hidden By Hygiene Fairies | If only these kids knew what I | |
| 2003 Mar 19 | Fun in the Unnerving Moonlight (Rembrandt's Schooldays) | I've always been taught to report what I thought | |
| 2003 Mar 20 | Broken SmARTISTS | It be not hard to speaketh like the Bard | |
| 2003 Mar 28 | Tendentious Reassurances | Another thousand syllables | |
April | |||
| 2003 Apr 1 | Woeful Enigma | My notion of 'A Life of Woe' | |
| 2003 Apr 9 | When Did Gingersnaps Vanish From Human Knowledge? | I took a penguin on the tram | |
| 2003 Apr 17 | Carefulness Begets Sincerity | A poem's frail corpse is like a tree | |
| 2003 Apr 18 | Accidents to Unwary Playmates | In the timeless forests of the north | |
| 2003 Apr 22 | Unsaid, Unsaid | The red poem remains unread | |
| 2003 Apr 30 | The Doctrine of Giggling | I've long held a theory that Seuss ain't no doc | |
| 2003 Apr 30 | Cross-talk Knavery | By way of insulation | |
May | |||
| 2003 May 1 | Looters | Alas! The Golden Treasury has been looted | |
| 2003 May 3 | Fruitful Duck Soup | My goldfish likes to do the monkey bars | |
| 2003 May 10 | Pugna Porcorum | I put lobsters in her sock drawer | |
| 2003 May 10 | Industrial-Strength Wrigley's | My Spiderman was killed by Zach | |
| 2003 May 12 | Our Sword Unsheathed by Metaphors | Rabid was the postman | |
| 2003 May 15 | Succulent Retching | Complacent as the Minotaur | |
| 2003 May 16 | Those Who Can't Defy | So many works, untitled and unsung | |
| 2003 May 17 | Management Facilitates, Managers Collide | Complacent as a senator | |
| 2003 May 18 | Laughing Down by the Maelstrom | Behind the nipple's cruel intent | |
| 2003 May 30 | Hilariously Pregnant | I guffaw but twice per night, | |
| 2003 May 31 | Inaudible When Down-wind | I promise, tomorrow I'll be a good boy | |
June | |||
| 2003 Jun 5 | Spin-doctors Confused | There's too little gristle and not enough fat | |
| 2003 Jun 5 | Creases Rectified by Art | Steeped in the grime of ages | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | Swinging the Tarzan | They trained me, from mine early years | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | Perhaps | And I thought it might be morning | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | Bespoke Chutney for Biggles | Smooth eucalyptus, resinous aura | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | Tiny Problems | Like hoarfrost on the juniper | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | Necessary foreign horrors | I trimmed that lean bazooka | |
| 2003 Jun 17 | Trout Pox Toast Farming | Now is the moment! Grasp the nettle! | |
| 2003 Jun 17 | Afterglow/Puzzle | The pallid young apprentice | |
| 2003 Jun 17 | Another Darwin | An airworthy albatross alights atop an arch | |
| 2003 Jun 17 | Caramelised Jamboree Bags | Bedevilled by mosquitoes | |
| 2003 Jun 18 | Turned on by Ghostwriters | A flock of hungry magpies came | |
| 2003 Jun 18 | This Goaded Posture | You write sixteen lines, and what do you get? | |
| 2003 Jun 18 | Pickle My Creation | Welcome, fine folks, but please be more attentive! | |
| 2003 Jun 19 | Uneven Recipe | A rushing tide, a rushing tide | |
| 2003 Jun 19 | The Ocelot Tirade | Respectable he's surely not | |
| 2003 Jun 20 | For an Unknown Frog | The semi thrummed o'er seams in the open road | |
| 2003 Jun 20 | If Cocoa Couldn't (Allegory) | "Chocolate! Give me chocolate!", the woman screamed | |
| 2003 Jun 21 | My Habitat of Unkempt Mincemeat | Coconuts are hard to peel | |
| *** | 2003 Jun 21 | Theory of Everything on Tap | Lucinda' big sister chowed down on plutonium |
| 2003 Jun 21 | Test Our Mutual Felicity with Unguents | His brain slightly mangled from mid-term exams | |
| 2003 Jun 21 | Awakening the Aluminum Jetsam | A paper, a line, a bubble, a tin | |
| 2003 Jun 21 | Tinkle Tempest Soldier | The archive of memory refused to stir | |
| 2003 Jun 21 | In Time (Full Icebox) | Without you | |
| 2003 Jun 22 | Pig Lint Hit | My blog is narcissistic, though its readers, voyeuristic, | |
| 2003 Jun 22 | Nile Feather Death Trip | Her upper arms; mine eyes alighting | |
| 2003 Jun 22 | Telling Tales of Mother's Bullseye | You shouldn't keep an apple | |
| 2003 Jun 22 | Always One Vane | Foul, foul, foul, this weather's spent | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | Abandon Malfeasance, My Cobweb Doctor | You wouldn't want a cobweb | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | If You Could Falter | The glamour of a teaspoon | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | Secret Habitude with Men | She frolicks gaily, like a goat | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | Considering Its Woodpigeons | Dial 'Clockwork' for disturbance | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | The Mistake | I heard him curse, I heard him groan | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | Rock Husks | Vowels with a vengeance invigorate vows | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | A Vagabond Lacking Cunning | "Better", I told him, "you had left your seed unsown" | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | Reveal the Masonic Prudes | I heard him curse, I heard him groan | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | The Pastry Cups | How noble is the nobleman | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | Iambic Portrait of Montalban | Ricardo's toupee hasn't aged but a day | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | Perwinkle Trout Wrack | His boots were made of manta ray, | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | Glow Experimental | Madame Curie created quite a glow | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | Car with Contrast Fetish | When young and old, the old and new | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | Playland Smack | Raggedy-Ann has a heroin habit | |
| 2003 Jun 26 | A Reasonable Religion for Village Greens | Silver and brown were the eaves of the town | |
| 2003 Jun 26 | Epic Gorgonzola Quest | In China, once, an Emperor | |
| 2003 Jun 27 | Each Recusrive Reader | On a moonful night, strangely bright | |
| 2003 Jun 27 | Oddments of the Blonde | The gypsy's skirts swirled like the leaves in the fall | |
| 2003 Jun 27 | Knight of the Noxious Lie | If only I could sing like William Shatner | |
| 2003 Jun 28 | Imperfection | Oh, to be Home now summer is here.... | |
| 2003 Jun 30 | Erie Canal | The creek oozes down through the dimwitted wood | |
| 2003 Jun 30 | Now Repercussions Don't Hibernate | You asked for a list of excuses, | |
July | |||
| 2003 Jul 1 | Armageddon Horses D'Oeuvres Changes Course | Plague and Pestilence sat down by the fire | |
| 2003 Jul 1 | Cities | In Seville, bitter oranges grow ripe in the sun | |
| 2003 Jul 8 | Time and Four Fantastic Spoons | The Raiders of Gor had slavegirls galore and kept them all in chains | |
| 2003 Jul 9 | Chronic Sparrows of Pathology | Anthrax! Anthrax! cried Frau Schmetterling | |
| 2003 Jul 9 | Scapegoat Ranchers | Why isn't tomorrow | |
| 2003 Jul 10 | Ketchup Alchemy | A red hen, convinced that her eggs were sublime, | |
| 2003 Jul 11 | Accessible Under Hegemony | To thy nobility am I obliged | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Mosquitos Hatched by Homework | Bill bought broken bric-a-brac | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Lay for a Lonely Farmer | She was lovely as the night | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Ode to the Televangelists | They | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Fractured Hearts Have Missed Innumerable Chances | How graven seem those fractured tarts | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Contrary Mutant | So here begins a brand new tale | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Like the Inner Feathers of Earth | How frothy do these suds appear | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | How Often Tattooed? | How seldom do I see a frump | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Mukluks Sometimes | My own dear love does seldom fart | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Gentrification is a Giggle | Whene'er I see a falling star | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | If Only People Smelled Like Flowers | I often wonder how to start | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Time and Chance Combine in a Shocking Display of Crudity | A masterpiece will now unfold | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Thoreau Toejam | Do mugwumps ever feel the ache | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | To Birds | The geese were flying high, the ducks | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Cosmos Twirls | Your new line will go here | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Persnickety Girls | I once saw a doctor in Dayton | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Googly | lying in a ditch of binjo | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Nightlong Battles | Once upon a time a whore | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Whackerwocky | 'Twas zillig and the mangrove whips | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | PC #22 | Televised indignities, alas | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Dreaming | I fear I cannot hope to match | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Vogons In Love | Smudge me, I am yours | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Whether the Dweebs | One summer afternoon, the snow was all around | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Enough Is | Here, there and everywhere | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Tick | Awake! for midnight at the witching hour | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Hope Squeals 'Wahoo!" | Dispel those neverending qualms | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Longing | Oh, my God, it never ends | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Odin Understands | I am seriously whacked | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Merry Googling | On the first day of Google, my search term was to be | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Soupspoon | Three smooth stones near water's edge, gray as everyday | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Mushroom | Galumphing through the daisy field | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Euthansia without Gregariousness | How often have I pruned a tree | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Fallen | I've fallen and I can't get up | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Gorgonzola Prevaricates | My gorgonzola often swells | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Unshorn | Ubiquity is the folly of unshorn llamas | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Of Rubrics | Persnickety wickets, aha! | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Iceman | No man is an igloo | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Alas My... | If not for that one "mistake" | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | The Ageless Golden Fleece | My buddy, Moe, is getting old | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Yesterday Doesn't Go Like This | Yesterday, all my poetry rhymed beautiflay | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Colours | Red, green, purple, brown | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Paid to End | When I find myself in times of trouble, | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Silicon Dreams | My computer's on the blink | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Empty Promises among the Symbols of the North | Ampersand, I love thee | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | How speckled my rotisserie | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Just As Jurassic | Upon the plain the stegosaurus | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | The Perpetual Unloved Turtles | The Hamptons are green this time of year. | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Was the...? | Every hepcat under heaven | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Animals (Oz) | If I ever had a platypus | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Bodies | Her nipples were quite octagonal | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Again We Raise the Standards of Poetry Crimes Against Humanity | The slate is clean, the ink is fresh | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Please Don't Try | I wish to call attention | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Singing the Family Song | Simon says, "Slow down, you're movin' too fast" | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Underwear | She doesn't like my underwear | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Brief Glimpses of Aqua Nova | While cycling through the clouds one day | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Snow Slithers Up | The night was dark and stormy | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | The Lycanthropes Are Eternally Grateful For Your Cooperation In These Matters Of | Preposterous! She cried | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Pyramids | When mummies in their sarcophagi | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | Why must you tinkle in your pants? | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Madness | When all the world is going mad | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | Children put on your thinking caps | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Hair | He urged me to go get a perm | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Halcyon | See how all the daffodils | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Bemused | How blithely do the crackerjacks | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Drawn | Irresistibly, I feel drawn | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | Remove your babuskha, mister | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Sanctum Inviolate | Damned hypocrisy! In truth I hate them all | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | I wish it were true that piggies flew | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Quantum World | Photons green and neutrons pink | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | What are these glass shards upon the floor? | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Numbers Irrational | One hundred and seventy four point six | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Dreams | How oft in wet dreams do I walk | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | A Royal Disaster | Indeed the overweening queen | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Wienerpome | Our story was unfinished! We had not reached the end | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | How softly do the dryads hump | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Nighttown | On a night in september, 1982 | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | Brothels on the hill, tra la | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Death, Shrug Off the Useless Punctuation | Cholera, my only friend | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | She-devils Unruly | How are you doing, Mr. Slurb? | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Gargling Troubadours | Why must you gargle on the couch? | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Jello Fellow | While bouncing on a sea of jello | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Collaboration Is Not Essential | The men and women came, from far across the land | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Foresight in F Minor (Haydn) | Where have our old-timers gone? | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Lunar Sunsets | That moon is not an aspirin | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Fishies Swimming Silently | My glitzy one, my little twerp | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | These lovely fruit loops in my lap, these hairpins on my dog | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | Free verse is my favorite form and so I say to you, "Garbanzo" | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | Ten pennies, three shillings and a paper clip | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | Francine can you fix the executioner line to fit the meter? | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | This is in free verse and I mean to state that always the cambembert is stale | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Things Of The Wild Unknown | The haughty hippotamus spake unto the King: | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Phew, Too | (haiku) I've forgotten much | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | TITLESGOHERE | Francine, are you here? | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Omphalos | (haiku) Three rings on my nose | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Gadfly Pudding | Side by side sat F & N, with monitors opposed, | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Thaw | (haiku) Little lips and toes | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Scrapple Lovin' | My headcheese does stink | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Nocturne Oy | In adamantine underpants the slavish sleeper slept, | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Garbanzos | Falafel was not feeling well | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Lifecycle: Forlorn Flapping | How blithely do we misuse this site and yet it does deserve it | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Never Reaches Glory | My eyelashes are black | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | (haiku) When once I stood upon | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | Dyspeptic diehards turn me on | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | My luv is like a red red rose | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Woof | I submit that we are not alone | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Whacky | Lapwings on my shoulders, nickels in my purse | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | Corky has a brand new wife | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | Heebie jeebies, toil and trouble | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Melodies by Journeymen | Moving softly through the symphony | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Nippising | There was a strange lad from Ontario | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Bingled | While surfing on the web one day | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Existentially Imbued | (haiku) Why must you insist | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Untitled | (limerick) I knew an old gal from Quebec | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Paris Blemished | The last time I saw Paris | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Uncertain | (haiku) He spoke haltingly | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Unhealthy Backlash Cliches | I fear my favorite pollywog has indigestion | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Dangerous Dancing Sensations | Who goes there? I hear your steps | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Giggling Idols | What of Phaeton, Hyperion, Icarus, the angel Lucifer? | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Vegetables, Frankly | You have disrupted my routine, Mrs. Flugle | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | Separation Athletic | My love is sailing to Toledo | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | Gamesmanship (The Piglets) | Oink on, you crazy pigman | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | The Snoring Sombreros | I've never known a munchkin like you, Nadine. | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | Giraffe Shoe Happenstances | Would you care to multiply? | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | Ivor the Besotten | Unbeknown to Ivor Pooter | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | Planets of Repeated Sincerity | (limerick) There was a young maiden from Venus | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Comeuppance to Astroturf | I always knew that I'd be back | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Often Percolate | Whose clothes these are, I think I know, | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | The Hopscotches are Growling | The Creature wouldn't seem so bad if only he spoke clearly | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | History Repeats Itself Itself Frequently Despite Appearances To The Contrary | Ten thousand men have lost their lives | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Cactus Ants | Ants are smart, oh they're smart, oh they think they're so smart | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Morning is Dead | Awake ye slumberers, and greet the day | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Confessions, Truly | To dear Mrs Hoopledon, I hope you're feeling better | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Spoonbillrocy | Twas jillig and the smirky twerps | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Whales are Silent Warriors | Little children, gather 'round and I will tell a tale | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Tonight delights us lovingly, but ... | The lamps are lit, the table set, the goose is in the oven | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Don't Do Never | Never tip a robot waiter | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Stinky Feet | (haiku) I think your feet stink | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Nighttime Paddling | The sky was dark, and rain was falling | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Agog at the Freaks | Whatever are you doing, Mr. Trimble? | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Dig it, Bonobos | Fried mice and ferret stew | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Untold Grinkles do the Zink | When grinkles with the morgles bink | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Fellatio Limericks | There was an old geezer from Kent | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Voices Broken | the tiny white wheelbarrow, overturned, | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Hills Speak of Chlorine | The old mountain holds a secret | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | But for the Headaches | You may think that it's time for a rhyme | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Seduction Are Us | It is the faintest of sounds | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Smog Onions | The smog comes on little rat feet | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Boots of Silly Leather | Silly Sally from the valley liked to dilly dally | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Ownership for Men | This is dedicated to the one I love | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Questioning Before | Did you ever wonder why | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Markup Over Sense | Come | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Rain is No Substitute | In shimmering skies the clouds were humming | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | A Homerian Epic of Anglicans in Peru | There was an old man from Peru | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Work and Home | work, my work, i hate my work | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Sleep Will Not Be Heard | I really need to get some sleep | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Forever Spinning | Spinning, falling, | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Imagination, Fortitude, Cholesterol | Imagine there's no flugle | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | The Long Thin | Dispense with long narration | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Brie Tabula | The page is blank | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | Rubicund Mummeries | mummeries cast brightly upon lavender sidewalks | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | Poetry and Excess | There was a man from Timbuktu | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | Oddments From the Bookstores | The shelving groaned with weight tomes | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | Every Phrase Yodelled by Wagner | Parsifal was bleeding from the gramophone | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | Hunt Within | The ancient hunter stood proudly | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | People Ran for the Butter | "Relax", I say, but they never obey | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | Will Oceans Devour the Unforeseen Goats? | The rains had not come that year | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | The Bitter End (Alas I Died Homeless) | Alas! Oy vey! My tires are flat | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | Starfish Footwear | If starfish wore shoes | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | You can't Have Sushi | Have you ever dated Lucy? | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | Travelling with Someone | Anonymously the poems flow | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | Love Awkwardly | If I fell in love with you | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | The Yellow Sofa | Tommy, where is my yellow scarf? | |
| 2003 Jul 27 | Parental | "You smell bad, Father William," the young man said, | |
| 2003 Jul 27 | Wiggles in Spain | The bubble bath! The bubble bath! I float in pink champagne. | |
| 2003 Jul 27 | Wish To Be | "It wasn't meant to be," the woman sobbed. | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | Lips You can Kiss | I should've screwed old what's her name | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | Gingersnaps (Why Dress Up?) | Maxine's coming into town, but look at all this | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | When Ambrosia of the Peppermint... | Moonbeams and fairy dust, stardust and ambosia | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | Gilbert, With Giants in Hand | Have you met my wee friend, Gilbert? | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | Knowledge Couth Forsooth | There are many things you do not know | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | And Now Hard Skirts | My love's inclined to wear a hat | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | Horseback Spirits of the Ghost Town | On a dusty road in an outback town | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | Lost Lies Under | Under the covers, bodies move | |
| 2003 Jul 29 | Something Counts | Zero was an astronaut | |
| 2003 Jul 29 | Unbidden Answer to Cellular Message | The telephone is ringing, dear | |
| 2003 Jul 29 | No More Edible Pope | (limerick) There was an old lady from Wales | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Brian's Life of Impostion | Hierarchs with open mouths | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Alien Hissy Fit | Aliens squirted mustard in my face | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Not For Edification | Of brooding springs, and hooting rocks | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Tea Calms, Warmth Invades | My tea warms my hands | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Insults for Schoolmarms | Slug bug! | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | They Multiply | You've learned to tie your shoelaces | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Dog Life Dance | There once was a dog named Mollie | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Vaccuum Devices Have Undiscovered Potential | I often think that nothing grows so red as a rose where some once Caesar bled. | |
| 2003 Jul 31 | A Story About Her Master's Mustache | It might've been his husky voice | |
| 2003 Jul 31 | A Prior Rainbow | Red was the color of my true love's knuckles. | |
| 2003 Jul 31 | Look Askance | Little girl, look in the window. What do you, what do you see? | |
| 2003 Jul 31 | Fogey | Now here is a story, it's really quite gory and really quite sad to relate | |
| 2003 Jul 31 | Sow Succcess | I'm pregnant and I don't know why | |
August | |||
| 2003 Aug 1 | Why you never dared tell the Pope about Mother Hubbard | Why do you chide me when you could ride me? | |
| 2003 Aug 1 | Nightmares in a Mind Overtaken by Madness After Sleepless Days and Nights | If you had but one final chance | |
| 2003 Aug 1 | Fishing for the Deal Makers | This time, Sam, we'll make a deal | |
| 2003 Aug 1 | Pick You What | Whatchamacallit and thingamajig | |
| 2003 Aug 1 | Evenings Much Like This | There is magic in the air tonight | |
| 2003 Aug 1 | A Style of Dancing I Remember | Scarlett and Rhett decided to pet | |
| 2003 Aug 2 | Free at Halloween | The house was haunted, so they said | |
| 2003 Aug 2 | Epistle upon the Ancient Streams | Sir: | |
| 2003 Aug 2 | Who Hasn't Written Doggerel?! | Blank verse is but pretentious prose - discuss | |
| 2003 Aug 2 | Why Won't Secrets Reinvigorate our Parakeet? | Why won't you tell me | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | Feet Were Walking | When I was young did eagerly frequent | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | Ounces of Hidden Obviousness | I got the "I Ain't Got Nuthin' to be Blue About" blues | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | Visiting the Mortals | In San Francisco, on the trams | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | In Awe of Dangerous Lives | Far beyond the red-black morning sky | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | You Cannot Steal Diamons | I cannot help but feel that if only I had | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | The Providence Networks | Thistly waysides line the primrose path of dalliance | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | When Mice Lust | Speaking of teeth and mice | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | Cleaning the Little Weasels | Where have all the guppies gone? | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Await the Perilous | Remember, if you feel the urge to speak | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Dreamy | He was the man of her dreams - tall, dark and Estonian | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Stinky | Stinkbombs here and stinkbombs there | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Dour Poetry for Fools in Love | Roses are dead | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Naked Halluciantions of Night | Madness and despair have haunted me | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Fate Knocks at Victorian Doors | There was a young plumber from Dorset | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Rhyme in Perversity | Forgive me if I sound perverse | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Mean Words | When words cannot convey | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Of Paisley | My wardrobe is my pride and joy | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Sam | Will Kansas Sam be upset with us when he gets back? | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Morning | Waking up at sparrow's fart | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Heart Shines | The moon will nevermore | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | My Other Lifetime was a Thing Foregone | A mothball larger than the sun | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Batman and Gawain (The Quest) | Now, hearken, I'll tell you the tale | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | She Never Surrenders Without A... | She is a lady in her heart | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Prey Letters | I wandered lonely as a clod | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | The Quirky Quiver (Haiku) | Snow falls, cold winds blow | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Strange Stretched | Life passes by at a thousand miles an hour | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Folks Who Smoke Soap | Mendicant Sam was a broken man | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Relativity In Guise Of The Moving Moon | A small chunky moon drifts or perhaps | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Phones and Windows | The phone is mute, a black hook | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | The End of a Shrewd Heroine | There once was a cold winter knight | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | May I Apply for this Job? | On the morning of the seventh day of May | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Tipi, Living | Sam lived in a jerrybuilt sheet-metal tipi. | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | The Best Guests | With operatic splendour did the door-bell sweetly chime | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Argument Can't | Why should I even try to convince you | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Poetry Alloys | When composing a poem, one must | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | What Boils Soot? | Whatever shall we do with your Aunt Sadie? | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Skin | Does your skin keep you warm in the night? | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Denied Dreams | The long body-swept grass | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Housemaids Singing on Sunday | Is this what we've come to? | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Diesel Pass | When you see me, pass me by | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Invitation to Rather Unlikely Personnel | Should I invite you to my soiree? | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | A Round | Higgle-dee piggle-dee pudding and pie | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Ode to the Attic | Let us praise the humble ceiling fan. | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Titillate but Don't Touch | Versification is such titillation | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Many Small Wonders for Royalty | Poor Peter was three inches high | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Piggy, Piggy, Here Comes Piggy | PIGGY WINGS | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Garden Shoes of the Vaudeville Monsters | Monsters in the garden | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Ballad of Vermillion Dances | Could I borrow just a minute of your time? | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Store Your Smiles | The store was stocked with many things | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Vacation for Gingersnaps | I took a trip to Ioway | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Anyone Who Whinges Can Go Elsewhere | MORE LIMERICKS! | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | New Battles for Deceit | You stood trembling | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Never Wake, But Often Dreams | A bleeding broken heart | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Things Seven Of Pairs Socks Cannot Provide | UNDERPANTS AND BLUCHERS | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | A Three-Life Exercise | Life is like a coconut | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Seek the Shade, the Silence | In a garden of unrestful silence | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Nowhere in Particular (Man Talking) | On the Road to Nowhere | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Bees' Buttocks | Whirring dials and blinking lights | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Frogs and Stale | The frog comes in on little fat feet | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Fight the Defiant Epithets for Sleeping Chickens | The customer is always right! | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Menthols for Dinosaurs | Do not go husky into that bad flight | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Here Moon, There Another | We sailed on the third of July | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Limerick Whore | Limerick Funfest | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Cocksure | There's halfcock and moorcock | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Apocalypse (Soon) | A sodium glow smolders in the sky | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Why do the Spanish Never Use Toasters? | I've never met a man I didn't like. | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Time and the Walrus | The moon was shining on the grass | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | Whatever I May Need in Make Believe | I may be gone a little while | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | Management Evoked | How do you feel about Life? | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | Vogon Blood Music | Oh fratulous wrontings, enfrog me | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | Spin Skipper, My Ass | There once was a hack called Andrew Gilligan | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | Mizzen Manhood | On board the good ship Mary Jane | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | And And And Whimpering | "It was so kind of you to come! | |
| 2003 Aug 9 | Mistakes Always | Oh me oh my | |
| 2003 Aug 9 | Kangaroo Den | She prayed that she might never see the day | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Autumn, Aimless, Now Upon Us | Haiku with me please | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Sadly Going Between Seasons | The empty swing still made arcs | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Too Worse | It was much softer yesterday | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Bells, Time Of | The bells of contrariness | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Food | In the pages of a dusty book | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | The Horizons of Renewal | We have waited for a new beginning | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | The Alphabet Tastes Best Cold | Angry aged alsations | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Billboards, Numbers, and the Signs for Heaven | There once was a poet of note | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Do Bubba Nano | Jazz, pizzazz, and razzmatazz | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Paper Grasshoppers | The moon's a baloon, you know | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Taxes, Always | Taxes, levies, tithes, and tariffs | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Arcade Dreams Of My Gamey Youth | Space Invaders often haunt my dreams | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Cremated For Bystanders | Alan Aardvark ate apples | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Because the Orchestral Are Orchestral | Flutes are mainly known by their ability | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Void White Truth | It is the blackest of blacks | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Jonah On War | There was once a man in a tale | |
| 2003 Aug 13 | Untitled | There is a secret hidden in the code... | |
| 2003 Aug 13 | Around The You You Tree | I think that I shall never find, a poem as lovely as your behind | |
| 2003 Aug 13 | Mother One | Mother Theresa sported a wart | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | It's the Spuds' Malevolence | With sinister speed, they come and go | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | If Rapture Exists | If ever there was a time when wishes and dreams could come true | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Dead Sticks | Sticks and stones may break my bones | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Cow Ending | You do not moo, you do not moo | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Pollyanna Has Mugged Me | Like a small child in a candy store | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Please Pass the Wrestler | It is an ancient wrestler | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Clique That Promises Exploitation | Candidates Promises | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Goals and Perils | We have searched the world for treasure | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | He-she me? | A limerick often is dirty | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Semantics Alone | At 4 o'clock on Sunday, with nothing much to do | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Against Spelling | Would you care to dance? | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Cocksure Wills | I dare the wind to blow contrary to my whim | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Havoc with Spring-Loaded Crutches | The worm has made our cities black | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Apocalyptic Rumor | I heard this rumor in class today..correct me if I'm wrong: | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Replacement Of My Jaundiced Petticoat | Anyone asking about apples | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | The Over | They say the power has just gone out | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Quixotic Robot Quests | Teflon starships ply the inky depths | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Melons In December | I like bananas, because they have no bones | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | A Fine Line Between Endless Cats | On Friday the seventh of May | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Begging for Wink | Every letter I have sent you | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Hayseed, Huh? | Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Cash Me | How dear of you to send me cash | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Untitled, Entitled, Retitled | Untitled | |
| 2003 Aug 16 | Scone Clichés | It's always darkest just before it gets lighter | |
| 2003 Aug 16 | Fish Brocade | Who needs rhetorical questions? | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | You Are Choking Me With Gloves On | You are the very air I breathe, my sustenance | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Exhausted Bus of Sand | I took a Greyhound bus to Timbuktu | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | End And End | Three score and ten years ago | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Naughty Sonnet | Oh how I loathe thee let me count the ways | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Redneck Designs | Southern Astrological Signs | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Favorite Wigs | Crewcuts, pompadours, bouffants, and mohawks | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Steel Safari of Red Rivers | Said the zebra to the lion, "Why in heaven are you cryin'?" | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Where Computations Love Cabbage Soup | An inauspicious bread-line debut | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Kamasutra for Happy Knives and Spoons | There was a fine seller of pearls | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Effigy | Right among the maddened crows | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Untitled | Cry wolf | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | They Abruptly | Jonathan and Mary | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Rhyme | Is the meaning of poetry lost in the ages? | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Revenge | To those of you who through the years | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Farce Of | Types of Medical Coverage | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Memories Sleep With You | This is the strangest place | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Pantoum of Brevity | Looking down through the shadows | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Exemptions for the Uneducated Lozenge | THREE WORDS PER LINE, UNRHYMED | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Calculating Between | The calculator is calculating its own lifespan | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | The Revolution | The desert sands are sleeping tonight | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Flattery of a Goose | When starting on a masterpiece | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Blasted Poets | 102 poems in just over a week - do none of you sleep? I'm ready to weep | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | True Stories but Grossly Truncated | There once was a man who was purple (world's hardest limerick coming up...) | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | When | Here stands a giant | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Synthetic Harmony, Synthetic Reflections | Another new poem, now what will it be? | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Words Galore | Words to Live By | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Disregard | Oh how I loathe thee, let me count the ways | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Tricky Fellow Am I | Multiple line submissions | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Tarragon Piglets | Heaven-sent sixpence, platypus pie | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Today We Are In The Mists | It started out as molecules, swimming in the primal soup | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Shameless? Us? | The incredulous bunch, the lot of them all | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Revelations Undergone | Shaman footfall | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | What's The Point Of Intermittency? | Hello, Beefy, howya doin'? | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Antiproverbial: Aphorisms Redefined | What if one swallow does make a summer? | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | When Sheep Moo | When spoonbilling, always say "boo!" | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Lurking in The | Play it again, Kansas Sam | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Moooon | Moon bars, moonbeams, mooning honeymooners | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | That Memory of No-One | My eyes have grown too tired for seeing | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Stop | A poem sat, neglected, unloved | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Bus Baby Boop | I went down to the bus station to meet my baby | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Pinaforesque | When I was a lad, I served my time | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Only A Warthog Won't | Goofy Haikus | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Down Hallways and Corridors | Keats and Sandburg, Dickinson, Yeats | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Bedevil The Faithful | What's that in your pants? Is it something to eat? | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Sigh and Suicide | It's time for a limerick now | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Why Are Doughtnuts Delicious? | From my window, I can see | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Horace is What We Like | Would you like to waltz or samba? | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Spies Seeking Heat in Arabia | Close to the railway, hidden by bushes | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Washing Fish In My Underwear | So when are ya gonna make up yer mind? | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Whackers Are Slackers | Hotchie-totchie, Liberace | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Fruit Is Like Life | My life is like a grapefruit | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Overcome Heart | My life is like a mouse-trap | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Not Yet Nice Enough | Aussie rock lyric challenge | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Scurvy and Varlets | I challenge you now with my swordTo the death! (well I'm really quite bored) | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Wooing under the Clouds | Ineluctably, you woo me. The clouds | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | Licks For Kicks | With the first light of dawn, the great armies gather | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | But a Pizza Means the End of Thunderstorms | MORE GOOFY HAIKUS | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | Ungentle Urgings | The rarely recognised conversation | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | Misery Trains | Bill stood in Charing Cross looking at the departure board | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | What is Rope? | When you look around and realise that naught is what it seems | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | A Doberman You All Wanted To Know | There was an old maid from Duluth | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | Superhighway Of Discontent | Cyberspace is crumbling | |
| 2003 Aug 23 | With Suzanne in Swaziland | I never thought of leaving home until I met Suzanne | |
| 2003 Aug 23 | But For a Novice | Matilda tolled the churchyard bell | |
| 2003 Aug 23 | The Meatloaf Serenade | With faltering steps Alonso reached the summit | |
| 2003 Aug 24 | Topological Jam | I bought a jar of marmalade, paid quite a little sum | |
| 2003 Aug 24 | Glibness for Fakenham | Bills are overdue, your car has broken down | |
| 2003 Aug 24 | Eager Beef | A toast by any other name is but burnt bread | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Why Forgive? | Forgive me if I salivate when Pavlov rings his bell | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Beep List | List of Chores | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Belief Now! | For all of you that don't believe in unicorns | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Brooding Night | The night is a ladyOf no uncertain temperament | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Goatishness : A Change For The Better | Before I owned a goat-face mask | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Sounds Like the Vampire Abroad | The beating of a distant drum | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Why is Rain? | The rain fell only between the hours of 6 and 7 | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | All My Complaints | My battery is draining | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | The Great Fuss | I was fishing one day on the pier | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Sobering Laptop | T'was but a night on the dell | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Lilliputians - My Play on Their Set | Lilliputians in my lap | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | I Shall Cope | My, my! All my underpants are gone! | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Pure Floundering | How little do we know ourselves | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | And Then the Next Animal | Ferdinand the Porcupine was quite a prickly fellow | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Negligent Daleks Give Us A Passable Flamenco | I'd offer you a crumpet, | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | "You Are Carbon", We Said | The waves are in turmoil, and strike at the rocks | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | The Embroidered Gorgonzola | Teapots singing in the rain | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Dimmer Switch Haikus | Compounded, as an alloy | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | The Thong Is What Poses | Underneath a mountain, in a dark secluded cave | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Who's To Absolve the Jersey Stitch? | There was a young nun from Hoboken | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Door To Indisposable Sleep | The haiku returns | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Holographic Implant | Tales of magic and mystery | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | The Page is a Cube | Like a russian doll, or perhaps an onion | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Rich Tarts' Applause | When I was young, I was terribly poor | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | I Hear Sousaphones Marching | Trombones are sounding in my sleep | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | The Popemobile In Escrow | I have it in mind to purchase a pie | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | Headless Parrots | When Granma discovered my dungeon | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | Pole Bank Frippery | The long haul to Christmas has started today | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | Must Pups Melt Their Carpet? | The pups are gamboling again | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | The Innocent Murder of Fire | I see the walking dead, the fire in their eyes | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | Cupcakes For Jesus | So many Herberts with which to contend | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Your Prize | There is often told a legend of a treasure | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Onions Can't Cry | I've far too much hair on my head | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Contemplate the Stuff | Let the sun shine in! Or let it rain. | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | In My Dreams of Paint | I hear you are sailing to Lesbos | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Millipede Stain | When saturation takes its toll | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | If Oblivion Had Foes | If everything that you had ever known | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Faintly Wild, Like Justice and Love | Let me describe the love of my life | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | I Am Not The Obsessive Weirdo You Are | I like to spoonbill | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Long Unbidden Melody | Wine and women, women and song | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Will Scarlett Ruffled Your Whiskers | Try not to get your knickers in a knot | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Inter-Planetary Tomfoolery | I once took a spaceship to Mars | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Silly Clothes | My boots they are not filigree'd | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Time Calendric | Does anyone look forward to September? | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | When a Door is Drunk | A healthy meal of beans is the way to start | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | The Gnomes Who Roll | Once upon a time, in a country faraway | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Yurt Optometrist | Perpetuating structures: these | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Storm the Language Barricade! | Latin died and Gaelic's not so well | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Wish | I wish I were a platypus | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Dressed To Curl | Staring blankly through the glass | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | The Burlington Commuter Blues | The wrong kind of sun, the wrong kind of snow | |
| 2003 Aug 30 | Don Prufrock, Life of Tedium | The internet crawled to a halt | |
| 2003 Aug 30 | Permanent Perdition | Have you ever felt vibrating oscillatons?Perhaps reverberating resonations? | |
| 2003 Aug 30 | Why Death Is | Twice I read your will | |
| 2003 Aug 31 | Emilia And Her Tremendous Brainpower | In my cardboard cardigan | |
| 2003 Aug 31 | Are You Better? | More haiku you say? | |
| 2003 Aug 31 | Wellington Shining Through | Telescoping microscopes and shoehorning hornpipes | |
| 2003 Aug 31 | Undressing Swine | I really must take a shower | |
September | |||
| 2003 Sep 1 | Untitled | The proof of the rock | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | Even Time Will Have to Tread the Path | A thousand opportunities | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | Pablo The Optometrist's Friend | Picasso, in his early years, | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | Questionable Pantheons | Slumberers! Rome is burning all about you | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | Nirvana in Daylight | I think I'll tiptoe over there | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | Chipping Proverbs | A French kiss from the Blarney Stone | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | If You Were Unveiling | Things I would do if I were a cowboy: | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | My Guts Reek | Good Morning, Mr. Soap! | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | A Relief | An uncle, all carbon | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Webfooted Drive Through Town | On the night I was headed for townI went out and waved a cab down | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Our Snotty Pim | I bought a cute puppet named Pim | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | The Night Match (Unseen Sisters) | Simple sisters in the sunlight | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | No Week Planner | Monday's light brought dreams of birth | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Pie Trappings | Nymphs and satyrs, centaurs and dryads | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Ugly Secrets | Nosy spoonbillers | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Fandango Lashing | I've told you once, I've told you twice, | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | One Cat for Every Lear | How blithely do the flivvers fly | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Something Sinful For Basildon | Finally, the croissant burns | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Guilelessly, No | Gus Grissom ... wasn't he the dude | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Roomy Life | He spent his life in deep despair and gloom | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Verse Justice | Ack! My poetic license has been revoked! | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Sweet Global Soup | Across the time-zones, rhymesters meet | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Happy Ode to Love Unbounded | Come with me, My Love, and see good Nature's fairest flow'r | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Cummerbunds Will Fall (2004) | Predictions for the Coming Year | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Tim the Godfearing Scientist | There once was a boffin called Tim | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Spooning the Kielbasa Worse Than Me | Why must you eat the kielbasa? | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Puzzled Monkey | There once was a Coventry Monkey | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Paul never liked peace anyhow | Yes, haiku is back | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Air Is Saleable To Those Who Don't Care | Billy Mays here, Folks, to tell you about an incredible new product: | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | A Pointy Neck | Why do people stare at me? | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Crewcuts And Clangers | Gus Grissom ... wasn't he the one | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Sonia Wasn't Lost | Sonia is my name, flirting is my game | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Mugging For Pennies | "The proof is in the pudding," or so I've heard it said | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Escape Attempts | There once was a Cornishman, Lee, | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Avoid Big Pies | I once knew a Heywood Jablome | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | A Journey | A big bloke called Gojko the Serb | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Goose Nuts | Be like the squirrel | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Wonders Nobody Knows | Double-u double-u double-u dot | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Putting the Carthorse Before Zen | At times the truth may not appear the best approach to take | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | The Circus Elephant Blues | My tutu's not starched and my toe shoes are scuffed | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Cruella Knew Every Hamster | I once knew a shipless Magellan | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | The Holiest Glue | Religions I am Considering Joining | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Yammering Agenda | My political agenda: | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Truly, I Have Subverted You | I can't help but note that your navel is inverted | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Sneezing | Arrrrghhh!!!! | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | The Bob Job Murders | I once had an uncle named Bob | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | Sister Sarah and the Beef Panic | Whatcha gonna do when the money runs out? | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | Persistent Fading | Chatting can be difficult | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | Christmas Eggs (Sorry) | The lesser spotted Spoonbill | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | They Came Third | Dyspeptic Malthusians are roaming about | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | Googlewhacking Report | Tragically, we must report this sad fact: | |
| 2003 Sep 7 | Brian is There | There was a young maiden from Nome | |
| 2003 Sep 7 | Beer Gods | Thou still unopen'd flask of liquor, | |
| 2003 Sep 8 | Insupportable Toothbrushes | The dream went to sleep, | |
| 2003 Sep 8 | Sequoia's Lawyers | The sycamore's riposte | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Revisionist Shenanigans | In my cardboard cardigan | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | U-Boat Blessings | Trilingualism, once a curse, | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Butter Belly Fanclub | Neglecting the home repairs I couldn't do last winter | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | He Knew Lake Geneva | Taupe plateaus, a turquoise skyThe bleached bones of oxen | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Gargled End | By the time you read this message | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | More Sweepings | Maybe now, or maybe later | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | The Chrysostom Cathedral | Chrysostom ... wasn't he the saint | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Let The Litmus Decide | It's time we rearranged the border | |
| 2003 Sep 10 | Filling For That Apocalyptic Sandwich | Who ate my doughnuts? I could weep | |
| 2003 Sep 10 | The Exorcism of All Limericks | There was an old hag from New York | |
| 2003 Sep 10 | A Romatic Ending | Beth and Lee got hitched in Vegas | |
| 2003 Sep 10 | Curse Me, Fungus! | The Eskimo, my paramour | |
| 2003 Sep 11 | On The Toes | Ive just seen my feet for the first time in years | |
| 2003 Sep 11 | Package Surprise, Not Surprise Package | Oft had I heard of Lucy Gray | |
| 2003 Sep 11 | One Less Day to Remember | Journal Entries | |
| 2003 Sep 11 | Spotted Crunch | I suggested a title word and the word was this | |
| 2003 Sep 12 | The Premise for My Jellybean Guidelines | Sleep eludes me now | |
| 2003 Sep 13 | Cash Elegy | Let us praise a country maestro: Johnny Cash | |
| 2003 Sep 14 | Ghosts for My Poster | Dorian hung on my parlour wall | |
| 2003 Sep 16 | The Moon So Subtly Flying | Once I flew to the moon, my wings dripped gold and blue | |
| 2003 Sep 16 | Pub Coquettes | Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face | |
| 2003 Sep 16 | 5-7-5 Harmony | Refuge I must seek | |
| 2003 Sep 16 | Through the Days of Smouldering | I can barely remember the time | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | Where Eagles Dribble | Privet skirts the aerodrome | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | If Only God Lived 9 Lives | The first thing I learned in my life as a cat | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | Anarchy Pastilles | When Spoonbill went on the blink | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | Time or Porcelain | I frequently sit on the dunny | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | Cold Boff in Freedom | However shall the cold night envade, | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | A Meadowlark Crumbling in Basalt | A costive agent knows too well | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | Courage, John! | Ray Harryhausen, in the days before attaining fame, | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | Genesis is the Only Truth | O Universe, O sparkling void, teach me of thy ways | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | About A Hedgehog | The problem with speaking in verse | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | To Brother Domino | The money ran out, and I had to leave | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | Semi Frenzy | The smell of camphor; dust motes in the sun; | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | My Blotter | The ink was barely dry upon the page | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | Legacy of Homey Charms | I would hardly complain that loudly to be compared with Frost | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | Sound-Effects for Hitchcock's Railway | These neatherds know a trick or two | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | The Trouser Leg of Hell | I have measured out my life with tablespoons | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | Redemption of the Radishes | Blossoms the color of bruises | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | I Fear Bonnie Lies Under the Ocean Freeway | I've oft wondered what Karin looks like | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | Strange Bits Of Filth | Kansas Sam's brain overheated | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | Floating My Delicious | Indescribably delicious doodads | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | Weary With Strangely Sprung Happiness | We tried our darnedests to succeed | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | The Walks of Soul Sisters | I have seen this place before | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | The Effervescent Digest | If I ever went to Athens | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | The Hoity-Toity Envelopes | There was a young painter from Maine | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Drooling Without Dementia | An empty page is | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | The Circling Saucers Of Sirius | My little pal never leaves me | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Bubblegum and Scrabble | Lollipops and bubblegum, jujubes and dots | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Kindly Mind My Zoo | Kruschev and me | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Regardless of Their Appearance | The haiku beckons | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Beatles Stew | When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Licensed to Kill Everything | Moneypenny's not a happy bunny | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Pirate Rhymes | There once was a pirate, Blackbeard | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Toes of Paraffin | Camille, thou most elegant doorstop | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Milkround | Whoremongers, rumormongers, mongers galore | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Ceaseless Efforts Conquer | I have not the courage to conquer life | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Beaming Constipation | You can choose to conform, you can choose to rebel | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Input Commandments | Another call from Abraham | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Though Tamborines are Comforting | I may have to saddle a horse | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Apologies To The Stovepipe Baby | You got a smile so sweet, you coulda been drip glucose | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Infatuation: The Amusing Conundrum | What do you want to do with this? | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | My Misadventures Began in Cleveland | Inaccurate, like any map | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Emergency Headlessness | Emergency! Emergency! | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Who Will Have The Lady Over? | The sun was not shining the day | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Quicksand in My Tush | You're my special Dalek | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Trysting Without Thomasina | In my borrowed jacket | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Nirvana of Cleopatra | I made my peace with destiny and fate | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Mugged | Coffee mugs are breeding grounds | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Quiche Swim | If every boy and every girl | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Signs Of Sorrows | I am sowing hope | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Plunder of the Phigosia | I have dined with the Gods, and yet | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Dystopia The Moose | In this city there are no angels | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Minstrels Really Know | The Troubadour was travelling, his merry band in tow | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | The Wickedness of Luxor | There once was an arrogant Pharaoh | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | Isn't Doubt Corrosive? | Doubt is so corrosive | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | That Superficial Sniper | He snaps his fingers with such authority | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | Why Listen? | If wishes were horses | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | Making the Tide Wet | I once had to wrestle a bear | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | Mix My Soul with Potions Metaphysical | Words enfold me, winged things | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | Further The Pope's Unwitting Conversion | Down the gullet, soft and sweet | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Yellow Pasty Cavalcade | I've heard that folks that are from the U.K. | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Unlikely Gumdrops from Savannah | There once was a moose from Ontario | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | A Civilised Child, Lost for Moments | Into the unblinking eyes of children | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Time is Our Sinecure | Within this life awakening | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Tumble Driers of Yesteryear | Wise men have been fooled | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | The Gospel of Even Numbers | My only brush with India | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | The Sun-Drenched Arctic | Not my muscle! | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Grandma Ain't Old Enough For Birthdays Any More | Grandma still sports a teased bouffant | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Practise The Birdy | At the crack of day when the baby birds do sing | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | The Meagre Friend of Jugs | Newbie, newbisti, newbit | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Some Poet Unknown | May we address you in verse? | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Water Fingers | The Irish invented the limerick | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Blessed are the Circular | Blessed are the spoonbillers | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Recruitment Drive By The Bogus Snobbery Guardians | How to swell our number, how increase our ranks? | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Texted Evolution | Wtih frsit and lsat ltteer in palce, it's siad any wrod can be raed | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Night Before Time Immoderate | in the darkness of the night | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | The Tidal Sound of Deflated Souls | The river was breaking its bank | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | The Queen Of All Chagrin | One bright September morning, the sky a crystal blue | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | America, Land Where Meiosis Reigns | I've heard that the folks in the U S of A | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Tribute of the Rather Wet | I once knew a lady, Francine | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Disoriented | And now I leave this lunchtime land | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | How To Cook Vegetables | I may have to boil a turnip | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | A Melee Mightn't Make My Machinations Musical | To write a good poem several things are required | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | My Confession | ‘Screech Screech’, screeched the cat | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Learned Sea | When halfway through swimming the channel | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Lightning Ignites My Secret Beard | Precipitous whiskers | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Mother-in-law with Oregano | My mother-in-law, my mother-in law | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Filling the Proverbial Crannies | I try to Haiku | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | The Intent Of Noses | Attend the tale of Jack the Lad | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Mail-Room Mystery | A weakness for detail | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Ghazal to Asylum | I fear that one day they will carry me off | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Bored Magnolia | What kind of tree would you most like to be? | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | The Copy-Cat Stutter | The miscreant potato | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Difficult Times | Versify where you are able | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | The Authors of Unsettled Remains | On Spoonbill we all write in verse | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Finis is | This is the first line | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Karma Rodents | Dreaming gerbils in the sawdust dream of you and me | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | A Simple Purveyor of Gaffes | Carpe diem, as they say | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | The Global Hegemony of You and Yours | Une nuit foncée et orageuse | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Ears for Eyelids | Sleep is coming soon | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Camelot - an Ongoing Investigation | Long, long ago, in Camelot | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Feathery Fiends | What is the matter, my fine-feathered friend? | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Once You Forget My Name, A Strange Leathery Complexion Beckons | A man with a prong on his nose | |
| 2003 Sep 27 | Noodle Ingests Itself | Mumbles not heard on any Pink Floyd album: | |
| 2003 Sep 27 | Friday Goof-Off | Motivation now departed, though the day is not yet done | |
| 2003 Sep 27 | In Piles of Half-Burned Pizza | What evil you planning today? | |
| 2003 Sep 27 | Start The Timeclock Earlier | Friday evening's nearly here | |
| 2003 Sep 28 | Hindsight Blindness | If I had known that this would be | |
| 2003 Sep 28 | Wiggling On Steroids | When playing a game of poker with some dogs | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | My Puckered Times | Uncork the bottle and light a cigar | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | Agriculture Good And Bad | In the land where the brain-fart trees grow | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | Morbid Obsessions With Broccoli | My imagination runs a little wild at times | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | Consciousness for Peptides | What will they think of next, those clever clever men | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | Fellow Unravellers | I'd like to raise a glass to my friends across the sea | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | The Progenitors Served Them | When our pets outlive their use | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | Hypothermic Ennui for Old Times | The leaves are turning brown again. I wonder how they know | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Fasting with Predictable Terror | For many years, this story has remained untold | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Food for the Twin | Kielbasa is a sausage quite sublime | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | What Is Best For Each | Nine yards matter, when in zoos or farms an unclear sign | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Flowing The Fable | Once upon a time in a faraway land | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Transcribed by Strangers that Float | Keep all new songs as softly sweet as mine | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | The First Cyborg Whore | Rosie was a robot made of steel | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Gravel for My Poignant Cotillion | Flippant poignancy | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Times Square Dance | Piercing sunset with her hand | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Have the Patience of the Broken | I'm building castles in the sky | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Contactual Precautions and Unbecoming Curses | You must, when adding cream to recipes | |
October | |||
| 2003 Oct 1 | An Elliptical Doppelganger | Me and my loneliness; we often talk | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | A Challenge To The Juvenile | How many times have you started a line | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | He Knew I Was a Frog | Miss Piggy was making a fuss | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Look, No Anatomy! | I looked at my feet and to my surprise | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Tree Urchin | Under the shedding nose-nut tree | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | The Elemental Blimey | A wistful moment | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Forlorn Ode To Verse | On Helicon, the Muses gather round | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | If Not Insouciance | Feeling rather awkward, newly clad in neon eyewear | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Railing Against Sooty | I promise not to mention lice | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Several Nirvana Years | This metropolis, this wasteland, these wand'ring souls | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | The Pretentious Structures For Tasting My Oeuvre | At Halifax, the Muses gather round | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Bowling Nearby Stones | Stepping through a wall of mirrors | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Straight Forward | tiny | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Opinion Is Not A Occupation | If fish could scream | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Too Soon To Reconnoitre | Frozen embryos | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Perspective Isn't All Unlikely | A tap on the spine | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | I'll never ηπ again | I once was told that A is πr | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | The Flawed, But Somehow Delightful Vacation | Let us retire to France | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Arts Other Than Those I Cherish | A gerbil in a racing car | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Not Their Fault At All, Really | When down-and-outs start trading shins | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Metamorphosis: You Cave In | Your chakra throbs with crystal chi | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Absorbent Syllables | Another year on, the question arises: | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Large Enough To Store Time | What better place than here? | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Poets - We're Belligerent To A Fault | Poets fight with words and not with swords | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | The Backwards Time | Myself when young did eagerly frequent | |
| 2003 Oct 4 | Captain Correction | The sky is blue and so are you | |
| 2003 Oct 4 | If Wishes Were Forces | Fix what is broken | |
| 2003 Oct 4 | Our First Love We Denied | We fell into the ocean | |
| 2003 Oct 6 | Nailing Lips To My Umbrella | The lipstick factory: kick down the door | |
| 2003 Oct 6 | Hammering On The Eyeliner | Kick down the door of the lipstick factory | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Horizons Known Only to the Certain | Over the listing, under the stamp | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Spread Your Ears Skiffle Junkies | Coughs and sneezes | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Cheesecake Factory Tour | Cheer up, here's Mister Milk | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Dancing JCB | Let's build a mountain | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Coffee On My Yardstick | Coffee grounds in the sink, the drain webbed with hair | |
| 2003 Oct 8 | Plutarchs Anthill Blues | When flying on a jumbo jet | |
| 2003 Oct 8 | My Least Best Failing | The restrooms here are fairly clean | |
| 2003 Oct 8 | Have Pickles, Everyone! | Pencilled eyebrows, shaven legs | |
| 2003 Oct 9 | The Dreaded Chair Gang | The sly London chair gang is at it again | |
| 2003 Oct 9 | Honestly, If Anyone Dares Mention Earwax Again... | Among the elbows, as a rogue | |
| 2003 Oct 9 | Dancing the Inevitable | Why must you dance the lambada? | |
| 2003 Oct 10 | Numerous Wonderlands | Four-and-twenty blackbirds | |
| 2003 Oct 10 | Right Nestled Securely Among Wrong | Our old friend, haiku | |
| 2003 Oct 10 | Let's | U LKE 2 HIKU? | |
| 2003 Oct 10 | Have You Enough Putty? | Wetching in the tersome rain | |
| 2003 Oct 11 | Rearward Facing Gum Machines Realise Their Cosmic Purpose | An overpriced player called Rio | |
| 2003 Oct 12 | The High What | I want to do to you, what the spring does to the trees | |
| 2003 Oct 13 | Deep-Fried Nostalgia | Up your nose with a rubber hose | |
| 2003 Oct 13 | A Lacklustre Paragon | Changed the channels 'til my fingers bled | |
| 2003 Oct 13 | Extended Gravity From The Spectral Register | Gosh! That cat's obscenely fat! | |
| 2003 Oct 13 | Gaugin, You Villain | See, saw; go, gone; | |
| 2003 Oct 13 | Loincloths of Hickory | Some folks like a formula | |
| 2003 Oct 14 | Blamobilog's Last Return | A vessel most unfit for sea | |
| 2003 Oct 14 | Melted Rectories of Nyum-Nyum | On vacation, I saw a most Marvel-ous cave | |
| 2003 Oct 14 | The Apologetic Polka | Escape these shores I must, and head for foreign soil | |
| 2003 Oct 14 | Relentless Knishes | There was an old lady from Wales | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Yesteryear Forgotten | Barmy rain lady, why stand in the rain? | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Unsightly Cheesology | I am filled with remorse, and the reasons are three: | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Lobbyists In Spoonland | Reverend Spooner, twice a day, | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Disaster and Cheek | 'This watch you sold me for a pig - | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Most Even-Handed Definition | impeccable: Can not be pecced | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Haunted Colours | Lacerated insights pour into my head | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Shaking Like Evaporating Milkmaids | Don't think me ungrateful, but | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | Darling Little Orphans | When Uncle Roland came to stay | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | They Who Remove Buttons From Unsuspecting Harlots | Len reported Clara to the fashion commissar | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | Sleeping Is Ignorance | While trudging through the swamp let us endeavor | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | Protruding Posterior | The real derivation of 'prat' | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | Our Bombastic Parlour Pig | Terence wrote, when not in Thrace, a clutch of tearful plays | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | Songs of Prestigious Bill Giblets, the Whistling Tailor | I had my shoes shined in Chicago once | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | Reinstate War Fun | You've seen but a few of my numerous failings | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | Incompetence, Incompetence | Whilst painting the ceiling, the artist remarked: | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | Any Compound of Phosphorus | Paradigm of porters' skill | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | The Pennyweight Sauce | A pennyweight of muskets scattered on the dock | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | Any Old Moth-Eaten Universe | This plethora of pickles | |
| 2003 Oct 18 | Asphalt Trumps My Ace | I like | |
| 2003 Oct 18 | Naughtiness As Can | I once knew a good sick ducker | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | Smiles Bestow Blessings | Like a snake, your smile stretches | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | Go-Faster Waistcoat | Faster than the human mind can ever comprehend | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | Disease Me | When one would look into your eye | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | Mary, Nary, Oh-So-Scary | "I never think when I can talk," | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | Death is What the Cliché Will | Violets are blue | |
| *** | 2003 Oct 20 | Dignity for Sixty Six Possible Consonants | 'Twas on the 8th of August that the taxman came to call |
| 2003 Oct 20 | Avoid Our Stranded Cactus | Dreaming of a potted snipe | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Upside-Down Cat Blues | Sometimes I feel I'm going insane | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Limerick About a Trout | Let us now swim in Lake Erie | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Pam Sandwiches, Pruriently Sliced | The millimetre: squat, unclean | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Other Pubic Grindings | Ah, your onyx eyes and sequined purse | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | In Vicious Family Circles | Oh papa, look! A jolly bruin | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Just A Hog | There once was a pervert named Mick | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Alright? | Hey Randy? Are you still up? | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Enough Of Death | Sharp as a razor my misericordia | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | The Halibut Swears To Attack | Majestic as a pikestaff was old Jim, | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | Vice and Chips | The world, a fuzzball, a ball of yarn | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | Cooper's Atomic Dogmeal | Inside this barrel - don't you know? - | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | Regional Railway Sensibilities | Mostly air, my lost parade | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | My Corduroy Mariner, Correspondingly | With skin as pale as honesty | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | Screaming for Revenge in the Afterlife | Something there is that doesn't love a fish | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Gene Pylons | Andromaque: 'twixt bloodied sheets | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Tsarist Biscuits, Long Ago | Borneo in a biscuit-tin | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Mary Marmalade And Very Tasty Puppies | I make them go fast | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Don't Align Me! | Before enraptured earthworms find you | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Robert Faked Tough Choices | There was an old coot from Zimbabwe | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | The Frequency for Repaginated Ladies | Persephone once said to me | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | That Later | Long and short: Venus emits gas at sunrise | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | In Nougat | (haiku) Seven plumquats sit | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | Poor Child Roland | How he dawdles! Watch the steps | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | Worm Turning Circle | Nobody loses all the time | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | Perhaps You Think I'll Hide | A walk in the park is all very nice | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | Therefore I Can Be Repeatedly Woggled | I seldom spurl the gaffled zern | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | Aperitifs to Drink When Meeting Your Maker | The mustard in my lemonade | |
| 2003 Oct 25 | When I Glorify the Bike | I ride my bike around the house | |
| 2003 Oct 25 | Theatre of Heads | The film was droll, though there were dull stretches | |
| 2003 Oct 26 | Hairless of Sins | Her body glistened, hairless quite, | |
| 2003 Oct 26 | Profit and the Usual Umbrage | Lest we profit from the slides | |
| 2003 Oct 26 | The Cronyism of Songbirds | Smells like you're frying bologna | |
| 2003 Oct 26 | Nope to Blog | Quasi blog | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | Lemon Feet | Your limpet grasp gives me no rest | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | Imagine This Weirdness | Imagine a World without... | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | Lawrence's Spaniard Fool | How hideous is the Spaniard | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | Always Vainglorious Hootenannies | I bought a little bandersnatch | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | Delusions are my Family | I love you because | |
| 2003 Oct 28 | Mouldy Hiccough | It | |
| 2003 Oct 28 | Go, Authors of My Lunch! | See how you like it, Mr. Black! | |
| 2003 Oct 28 | Flame White Trash! | I went to bat for you so many times, and how have you repaid me? | |
| 2003 Oct 29 | Secretly, in Aberdeen | A day in the life of... | |
| 2003 Oct 29 | Tmesis Hell | I like to spoon-bloody-bill, | |
| 2003 Oct 30 | Manure Can | Ovegiously, he blarks the heen | |
| 2003 Oct 30 | No Way to the Afterlife | I wonder: is it worth the time? | |
| 2003 Oct 30 | Pointy Sticks With Hats | Shall I compare thee to an Autumn's day? | |
| 2003 Oct 30 | No Fry-up For Presidents | Jacques Chirac would eat no snack | |
| 2003 Oct 31 | Why Do The Unusual? Why Not! | Why must you paint your toenails ruby red? | |
| 2003 Oct 31 | Amanda and Her Moose Therapy | I traced the lineage of the Spoon | |
| 2003 Oct 31 | Exchange: Offer Me Something | I'll make you an offer you can't refuse | |
November | |||
| 2003 Nov 1 | Spooks Like Us | On Halloween lock all your doors | |
| 2003 Nov 1 | Even Elves Entirely Excellent | Twixt D and F I'm found, but missing from this ballad | |
| 2003 Nov 1 | Irresistible Types | My Love was born on Halloween | |
| 2003 Nov 1 | Yo-Ho-Ho, Piratical Barnacles | Avast me hearties! Haul away! | |
| 2003 Nov 2 | Pirates And Self-Loathing | A pattern is emerging | |
| 2003 Nov 2 | Kissable Landlords In Jeopardy | Kiss me quick and go | |
| 2003 Nov 2 | Recommendation To Decline Molloy's Meringues | A pound of grease is just the stuff | |
| 2003 Nov 3 | Hypochondria Isn't The Harlot's Proof | I think I have a broken leg | |
| 2003 Nov 3 | Lawfully Invalidated Fishing Permit | A pound of osmium breaks all banks | |
| 2003 Nov 3 | The Unwanted Haiku | I hate raking leaves | |
| 2003 Nov 3 | Disaster Contest | Archaic persons, flummoxed | |
| 2003 Nov 4 | Milk Shouting Louder | This bottle of grease is empty! | |
| 2003 Nov 4 | Gambits Under Glass | This time, then another, then - perhaps - once more | |
| 2003 Nov 4 | Monster Showtime | Oh, the claws, they should not be | |
| 2003 Nov 5 | We Are More Free In Play | I'd like to haiku | |
| 2003 Nov 5 | Pray For Dinner | Another web, another fly, another day has wrapped - yet I | |
| 2003 Nov 6 | If They Reversed The Creosote | It didn't have to end this way | |
| 2003 Nov 6 | The Makeup Trowel | Never have I seen a more delightful face than yours | |
| 2003 Nov 6 | Rather A Pain For The Fairy | A piece of verse should pierce the soul | |
| 2003 Nov 6 | Hairpiece | When you trim the hair away | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Spoons Succumb To Fawkes | A stack of broken furniture is set ablaze tonight | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Weird Garden | Misanthropic canteloupes are plotting in the dark | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Haiku With Problems | The jester donned his liripipe | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Shaking Moon Teabag | There was a spoonbiller so svelte | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Trepidation Is Sometimes All | I find myself washed once more, upon a friendly shore | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | What The Great Are | A corset for the cranium | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Pastiche (Coconuts) | Palm trees are not known to thrive amid the snow | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | The Frenchified Arrogant | When pigs grow wings and cows speak French | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Huddersfield Pie | Don't let that horse eat that violin | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Fishy Outlaw Escapes | A handsome young mackeral, named Frank, | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Piggy And The Penguin Bankers | My head is full of fish, I fear | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Suck The Wonder | I wonder did you dance a Latin dance? | |
| 2003 Nov 8 | Is Confused By | Never did I dream that she would call a spade a spade | |
| 2003 Nov 8 | Debauchery, Alcohol, And Nothing Left | There appears to be much merriment tonight | |
| 2003 Nov 9 | Etruscan! Tuscan! Bohemian! Persian! Theban? | Is it a source of insolent pride | |
| 2003 Nov 9 | Bird Authors' Noble Claims | This poem was written by Walter Raleigh | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Vanishing Dustbins In Dagenham | Disappear into the mist! | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Cluttered Nemesis | Clutch as clutch can | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | This Lame War Mixes Our Cement | If I understand you right, | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | My Painful Bass | Come an' listen to a story 'bout a man named Jake | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | The Abandoned Soup Molestors | The soup is rather thick today | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Cult Irregularities | The Underbelly Cult | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Yet Never Opens | Perfectly embedded in a blue-tooth net | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Little Extremes Of Bedtime Cocoa | Shorter than the shortest book | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Tea With Cartoons | Between the kettle and the cot | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Londoners In Vegas | Another buck; the symbols spin | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Poem Against The Removal Of Divided Teeth | Remember, sir, when spooning with your bill | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Only Our Gambits Shall | 'Incontinence for all!' | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Septuagenarians | Much to my dismay, I turned seventy today | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Coma Compasses | A new indictment for the meek | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Several Sporting Opportunities For Norwich | What makes a lively lunchtime | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Into The Black Of The Tentacle | There was a young maiden named Sue | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | The Metallic Allegory | Golden apples in a silver bowl | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | Till Eulenspiegel For Amateurs | There never has been a good time | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | The Moon That Howled, "Donald!" | The moon shone bright on that surly night | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | When The Wings Are Spread Like Mustard | Is Haiku passe? | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | Consequences | There once was a curious cat | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | Dreaming Of Bagels And Java | When you met me in the restaurant | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | Vacancy Is All The Rage | This mournful empty space | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | The Ultimate Sob Story | The squash, I fear, is overcooked | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | Does Anybody Else Think That We Aren't Seeing Much? | The paupers, intimiate with secrets of the court, | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Jilted By Cheapskates | "I've saved you so much money, dear" | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Olympian Breakfasting | Venus came to Athens, thence from there to Rome, | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Whatever Is When | Wlatsome words were whispered | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Like Butterflies Don't | So many little fluffy things | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Oak-worm Veneer Heathcliff | Curtains for the front of house | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Inhaling Woolf's Ouevre | Don't revile me, don't come near! | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Fructose Frogs For Little Boys | A line of sawdust or cocaine | |
| *** | 2003 Nov 14 | Recycling Genesis | In the beginning Bob created the woman and the beer |
| 2003 Nov 14 | Gumshoe In Divers Forests | I've never been the sort of man | |
| 2003 Nov 15 | Dictionary, You Mean | Poetry: in voice, a first! | |
| 2003 Nov 15 | Pickpockets, Rejoice! | Shall I invite you to a game of darts? | |
| 2003 Nov 15 | Ruined Dreamscapes | I had an eerie dream last week | |
| 2003 Nov 15 | Pets Are Not What They Seem | If every dog and every cat | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | Sorry, Sausalito | Sausalito | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | Visitors Not Derailed | If it seems too difficult | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | Captain Of My Land | Happy ever after? Well, at least until that day | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | Worse Than Any Titans | The next time you think that | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | The Cauldron That Foils Such Weaklings As Us | I see your hoof prints on the stairs | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | Yes, The Very Air Isn't Breatheable Over Our Side | I see your shadow on the wall | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | When Things Deceive | Chamonix, beside the name | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Nor Eric Nor Unshaven Shirts | Give a man sufficient rope | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Exceptional Disgrace | A mighty creature is the wife | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Hazardous Waist | Forty-seven atheists have gathered round my grave | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Pleasingly Cyclical | In the evening came the cycles | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Landscapes Fail | Just before the avalanche | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | The Anagrams Of Our Jumbled Selves | Compose a line: especial moon | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Let's Ride Away And Begin Again Without Shame | Should one great leader cross the sea | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | The Ill-drained Threesome | In the evening came the cycles | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | Glyphs And Cryptographic Chance | Red rocks; blue skies; a snooze and air refreshed | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | God's Void Devoid | You stare impassively at the world | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | Happiness, The Noose Of Love | Poetry I never knew found love on your demise | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | The Gods Of My Great Grandfather | Begin again: restart anew | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | The Most Rewarding Kind Of Exercise | Put it off until tomorrow | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | Highly Prized Hydrocarbon | Titrate this acid, if you please, against this salt, | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | The Virginal Chorus Sings Alleluia | Her clavicle was something to behold | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | Swimming Upstream For Several Rhymes | Quietly humming his favourite tune, | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | Ears Like Quinqueremes | Your ears are rather droopy | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | Jerry-built Riffs | There once was lady from Knox | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | When Einstein Saw Madonna | Elusively, they flit away | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | Misconstruing Hullabalooing | When shining shoes, you really must | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Tuppence For The Battery | Marie looked, but saw herself no more, | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Alphabetically Defined | Anthony Brown caused doubts everywhere | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | I Am Transformed | I came upon a startling sight | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | So Let's Not Eat | The fridge is lurking in a corner - tempting me to sin | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Oh! Gosh They've Gone | Yup, they cleared the decks again | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Enigma Who Will Someday Prove Secret | Why do you stare, do you think that I care? | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Twister Tokens | Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Fifteen Broken Things | One day my name will be up in lights | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Harrumph Parumph Gallumph | How silly, you're suddenly snooty | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Toothy | After searching high and low, I finally found | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | Burns With Mayflowers Downstream | My love is like a red, red nose | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | Insufficiently Stylish Behaviour | Verily, I think I'll slump | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | Avoidance Of Outrageous Aphorisms | There was an old man, Mr. Tucker | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | Only Known Criminals And Their Zebras | I think I saw an eagle fly across the Interstate | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | Hunting The Innocent | Just before the doorbell rang, my lids had fallen shut | |
| 2003 Nov 22 | Fish Jam Voting | The elephants of Iceland were meeting for the talks | |
| 2003 Nov 22 | The Ancient Dreams Of Ken | Against a sky of brooding green | |
| 2003 Nov 22 | Solicitude Is For Featherweight Fools | Please, my dear, take off your coat | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | The Allure Is Fortunately Passing | When I was only seventeen, I fell in love with a Gypsy queen | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | Boating Pleasures | We went to sea in a gravy boat one gray autumnal day | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | The Frozen Meow | "I must remove that oil stain" muttered the piebald rat | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | The Ontological Rabbit-hutch | Comparisons are odious, it has been said, | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | Never Knowingly Renounce Walk-on Parts | A small incision in the chest-wall | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | Disembodied Stuff | Dispense with this vulgarity! | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Ultimate Detergent | Must you hone your scimitar? | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Blessings Aplenty For Apsley | God speed to you, fair travellers all | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Reeling From The Effects Of Beer | Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Woodfired | Pizzas spin lazily in the inky depths of space | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | My Special Nosebag | If falling stars had parachutes | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | The Food Of Minotaurs | I hear that you like pepperoni | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Tale Of Municipal Ribaldry | What strange goings-on have there been in this town | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Arise, False Dawns! | Goliath in the cutlery-drawer | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Our Knoll Stroll | Where was JFK, the evening I was shot? | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Eardrums In The Dark Theatre | I never sensed a larger void | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Underwater Clouds | Aborted in its prime | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Words That Fail MOTs | Preserve us from another bout | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Classes Unusual In School Environs | 'Mediæval frolics in the gym?', the porter queried, | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Dubious Peacenik | A walking shrub shall grace our shores | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | If Bentley | George Dubbya Bush | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Bloodthirsty Tales And Unseen Lemons | I feel I must indulge in certain vices | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Growing Like Bacteria | Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road | |
| 2003 Nov 26 | What Concerned Us As Free Thinkers | Tell me the secret | |
| 2003 Nov 26 | Breaking The Law Of Thermodynamics | I know the Spoonbill secret | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Grudges Over The Family Fishing Rights | Anthony Blair | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Arbitrary Megalomaniacs | I've been lectured again by the stockman | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Nothing Percolates Like Treacle | Have you ever thought of peppering your toes? | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Your Own Secret Body | A mesomorph, a mesomorph | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Evident Hypocrisy | The stack's not much fun anymore | |
| *** | 2003 Nov 27 | Misplaced Devotion | Follow the players all over the globe |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Girlish Lavender Hues | How feminine, this colour scheme! | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Heresy Of Cosmic Sanity | The moon is made of cheese, and so | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Phew! Poodles! | Beans, beans, the musical fruit | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Food For Sentimental Souls Like Us | Turkey, yams and pumpkin pie | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Clerihews Are More Fun Than Sex | Charles, the Prince of Wales | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Palindromes, Madam? | Sex at one, Kate! Take no taxes | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Hades Doesn't Matter | Persephone will not emerge; I've heard it from the highest source | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Universally Horsewhipped | Venus and Serena | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Unless You're The Household Pet | Abrasively, your parrot squawks | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Who Would Right Their Wrongs? | Our curls may give a false impression | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Allegory Of Scandinavian Nuptuals | Rubbing out the guide-book | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | Sold For Leather | It's time to shampoo my peruke | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | Voluptuary Meter | Dusty streets and peeling paint | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | Wink! | I think it's time for a limerick | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | Dodgy Flaps | Too gracious for a moonlight flit | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | The Proper Toes | A man with a prong on his nose | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | Thought Of The Mayoral Fool | Furtively, a polar bear | |
| 2003 Nov 30 | Often During Christmas | 'Twas Christmas in the workhouse | |
December | |||
| 2003 Dec 1 | Poetry Means Never Having To Wink | Puerile and dull is the Limerick form | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Mittens Disturb | Items that do not give offence | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Collisions | Listen, my children, and you shall hear | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Electra Syndrome | Ralibut of Halibut pretended to be mad, | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Hungry For Keys | Rowan is a wood that I can't eat | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | English Literature Code | Rhyming isn't everything, and scansion's overrated | |
| 2003 Dec 2 | Dyslexia Is A Condition Much Like Nay Other | A narry stight, a brentle geeze | |
| 2003 Dec 3 | Situtationist Funeral | Pallbearers of uneven height | |
| 2003 Dec 3 | Increasingly Preposterous Homilies | The champagne glass lies shattered | |
| 2003 Dec 3 | Popcorn Of The French | When tapdancing down the Champs Elysees | |
| 2003 Dec 3 | I Admire The Willingness | As we know, there are known knowns | |
| 2003 Dec 3 | Things Like Cigars | "It's coming...like Christmas" they said | |
| 2003 Dec 4 | Sometimes Almost Roundish | Pasquale's famously roundish tartan muffled | |
| 2003 Dec 4 | Cogito Ergo Pogo | Ergonomic chairs and beds are presently on sale | |
| 2003 Dec 5 | Boohoo Hoodoo | How sad that ode was ended--and why I want to know? | |
| 2003 Dec 5 | Saying Much, While Keeping Silent | He sponsored a Gonk | |
| 2003 Dec 5 | Bondage Followed Swiftly By Kickings | One misty, moisty morning, when cloudy was the weather | |
| 2003 Dec 5 | Lament For The Unseen Cake | Who will come with me, who will come play? | |
| 2003 Dec 6 | Stop Playing Tiddlywinks When I'm Watching | On the plains of Andalucia, I met a honking horse | |
| 2003 Dec 7 | The Great White Blancmange Of God | Clutched against her breast | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | Extraterrestial Wingnuts | Hooper wouldn't say his name | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | Wings Of Men Who Wait | The early morning moon is pale as a chalk daub | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | Destiny In Pounds | Excuse me, darling, have you put on some weight? | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | Drawn By The Pencils Of Night | When all the world is still and quiet | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | From Here, Hence And Further | Is there anything I can say | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | Rude Feminism | Carol took my G.I. Joe and hitted him with a stick | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | Etiquette Toward Farm Animals | When addressing a horse, remember the rule: | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | Bashful Statements Of Statehood | The denizens of Alabama | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | If I Illuminate Life Only Slightly, I Shall | I was born a prisoner in your dungeon of fish | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | Carbuncle City From My Window | Erotic gherkin, looming in the dusk | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | Whatever Is Your Pleasure | Across the rolling Irish hills, he rode for Dublin-town | |
| 2003 Dec 10 | "Enough!" Said Old McDonald | Inspiration isn't need - not when you're a pote | |
| 2003 Dec 10 | Wanton Destruction Is Assured | Got any new poems to wreck? | |
| 2003 Dec 10 | If Wishes Were Geese, Nobody Would Honk | I knew a sinister minister | |
| 2003 Dec 10 | Biscuitry In Clean Sheets | Mine was only mortar | |
| 2003 Dec 10 | Abuse Of Frequent Positivism | While I was panhandling one bright sunny day | |
| 2003 Dec 11 | Wahhh! Sob Sniff! | Not every poem can please each aesthete | |
| 2003 Dec 11 | Biblical Soundbites | The Tower of Babel, good sir | |
| 2003 Dec 11 | Twilight Of A Flaming Pie | Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | Smells Like Parfum | Céline, we'll make a fortune if you'll sweat into this vat | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | Pies And Astrolabes | Body-rot, on crocodiles | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | When I Splash | Sometimes I like to run around in just my underoos | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | Somebody Is Rotting | It seemed (to | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | Poets Into Beasts | I know what it's like to be a poet. | |
| 2003 Dec 13 | Sundry Things Spread Thinly | Once a brave Sultana | |
| 2003 Dec 13 | Boutiques Full Of Festive Knick-knacks | Greensleeves and wassail, angels galore | |
| 2003 Dec 14 | Sorry Excuses | Cold, you say? | |
| 2003 Dec 15 | Tumbling Over The Sweets | Your babka, I hear, is delicious. Your cheesecake is second to none. | |
| 2003 Dec 15 | Loneliness Corrupted By Fishes | Homesick while at home--candles melt like promises | |
| 2003 Dec 15 | Misuse Of That Darn Animal | Don't wear a cat for a hat | |
| 2003 Dec 16 | Mythical Quest | In days of yore, when dragons roamed the world | |
| 2003 Dec 17 | Papal Disgust | If you lift a dog with a crane, will he count to infinity? | |
| 2003 Dec 17 | Nesting Penguins Throughout Asia Minor | I can't believe I left the grass in my pocket | |
| 2003 Dec 18 | Forever In Love With Marilyn | There was an old goatherd named Bill | |
| 2003 Dec 18 | Lyrics To Kill The Bliss Of Heart-throbs | Her tortured lip was dripping blood | |
| 2003 Dec 19 | Greatly Exaggerated Half-truths | Tim sits alone at his desk in the dark | |
| 2003 Dec 19 | The Mundane Factory Blues | Number ninety-seven was a worker at the plant | |
| 2003 Dec 21 | Ill-fated Flyover On Insect Wings | See the tiny aerodrome | |
| 2003 Dec 21 | Subzero Igloos | A frozen smile has crossed her sullen face | |
| 2003 Dec 22 | About Buck | What a strange little boy is Timmy John Jones | |
| 2003 Dec 23 | Someone Who For Once Is Not Averse To Changing Lanes | Bespectacled, mustachioed--a man nondescript | |
| 2003 Dec 23 | Peaches En Famille | This mortal skull that looks on me | |
| 2003 Dec 27 | Splat Went The Fig Custard Fruitcakes | Kaboom and kerplunk, vavoom and achoo | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | Lament Not The Passing Of Haliborange | Twenty past midnight, I want to go home | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | Something Beyond Hymenoptera | The version I favour | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | First Glimpse Of Summer This Autumn | A 21st Century Christmas Carol | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | Windy City Icicles | A man must walk down twenty roads | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | The Shown Tear Of A Cloudbuster | I'd rest, if I could, but a holiday's on | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | Pay Cash For Everything Except Unguents | Late Christmas Eve the lot was dark, and so I filched a tree | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | Ignoring Problems | Behold mankind, how fragile it's life | |
| 2003 Dec 30 | Why Not? Your Knots Do! | "Compliments of the season" annoys me beyond reason | |