Spoonbill Generator: Golden Treasury

	The Spoonbill Generator The Spoonbill Generator Archive A Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007

Poems by Year: 1996 - 1997 - 1998 - 1999 - 2000 - 2001 - 2002 - 2003 - 2004 - 2005 - 2006 - 2007 * Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Index of First Lines — Poems by Colour**

		Title	First line
Poems completed in 2004
		Poems open in a new window
	January
	2004 Jan 1	Prejudices Coming To Your Local Works Canteen	Said aged King Lear
	2004 Jan 1	Hake Sprouts	My sister, Sue, has several suitors
	2004 Jan 2	That Otherwise Fruitful Humanity	Where has haiku gone?
	2004 Jan 3	Nipple Tussock	I did it for the sake of her
	2004 Jan 3	Cocker Mouthwash	A pot of glue left me unstuck
	2004 Jan 3	On A String Covered Ottoman	Mistaken for a crayfish
	2004 Jan 3	Avoid The Dossier	This page is discontinued
	2004 Jan 4	Betokening Bitterness	Love, shmov--I'm jaded now
	2004 Jan 4	Without Looking Twice	"Wherefore honkest thou," said I, "although in neighing guise?"
	2004 Jan 6	Clichés Usually Reserved For Sensitive Souls	The winter sun broke through the trees, to shine upon the meadow
	2004 Jan 7	Gums And Tongues	Out, fry of lechery?
	2004 Jan 7	Despite Themselves	Captain Mesmer brought me 'round
	2004 Jan 7	The Unkempt	Her face was blanched, her eyes aglow; the sky was gauzy, rent
	2004 Jan 7	A Wishlist For Clambakes	I hear that sluts from Milwaukee
	2004 Jan 8	The Giant Eyes Of Friendship	Don't take offence at what I say,
	2004 Jan 8	Devoured By Trousers	Shut tight as a clam, not to be pried by any mere woman
	2004 Jan 9	Möbius Dancing	A cannon-ball into the pool
	2004 Jan 9	Attempted Assassination During Evensong	Rather than conferring shame
	2004 Jan 9	Invaders From Rabbit-holes, Snout First	Mars is being explored--and wow, are we excited!
	2004 Jan 9	Otherworldly Stuff By Bob	Quentin Tarantino
	2004 Jan 10	Allowing Rembrandt His Fish Supper	Between the pilot and the prow
	2004 Jan 11	Forgotten Blips Of The Ages Neolithic	All I crave is a little attention
	2004 Jan 11	His Own Lewd Vespers	My penchant's mathematical
	2004 Jan 12	Imbibe This Page	I don't drinke vodka, only ginne -
	2004 Jan 12	Snow Wheels	To those who'd venture off the brink, atop a fold-up scooter,
	2004 Jan 12	Quietude Is Surrender	All is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my hands
	2004 Jan 12	Talisman Testicle	You can't take it with you - or so I've been told
	2004 Jan 13	Tsunamis Get The Surfers	Well! That relief was pretty short
	2004 Jan 13	Athens Whose Ruins	What venom lies behind the name
	2004 Jan 14	Tabletop Heirs	I've never hit a man I didn't like
	2004 Jan 14	Yeah, Wow, Gollly, Gee, Gasp, Yep, Indeedy, Shucks	Come on baby, let's
	2004 Jan 14	Prefaces Are Lovely	Let us be pretentious, erudite, utilizing abstruse references, esoterica
	2004 Jan 14	Contempt For Moustaches	When nightfall arrives with a purplish glow
	2004 Jan 14	Frequency Of Dinner Jackets	I did not think a coddled egg
	2004 Jan 14	Wetnurse Burdens	I was hired to breastfeed his pups
	2004 Jan 14	Tugged Up	All is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my hands
	2004 Jan 14	Leadership Fails Turtles	He used to be, so rumor has, the Dean of Men at Alcatraz
	2004 Jan 15	Anatomical Chaps	Vesalius, whose scalpel bright
	2004 Jan 15	Non-invasive Skins	A poem without the same old format
	2004 Jan 15	Reversed In The Wash Of Fortune	Corporation. There we go
	2004 Jan 16	Drastic Therapy For Two	There hast never been a thing more shiny
	2004 Jan 16	With Our Dentures Firmly Detached For Whitsuntide	'Mr Spaceman, can't I travel,
	2004 Jan 16	Shivering With Sharks	When the mercury plunges to ungodly lows
	2004 Jan 16	Sector Vector Ejector	In this one thing all others meet
	2004 Jan 17	Weekend Sorrows Melt In Ale	Happy birthday, Kimberley, let's head off to the bar
	2004 Jan 17	Laundanum Language	'Ulalume, ulalume,' said Edgar Allan Poe
	2004 Jan 17	The Georgian Silhouettes	Do not single out the fat for taking too much space
	2004 Jan 17	Madwoman, Me?	She's come undone--her valium useless as mythical gods
	2004 Jan 18	Oompah Tuba	I hear you like to polka with clubfooted gals
	2004 Jan 18	End-time Octave	What time does the apocalypse start?
	2004 Jan 19	The Everlasting Pets	My cat is too fat
	2004 Jan 20	Despite Differences In Our Neckties	Judicious pruning - of a bush -
	2004 Jan 20	Whom To Enchant?	Be glad that Wall Street's closed today
	2004 Jan 20	Bleak Housing	Ten to a bed, the children slept
	2004 Jan 20	Impasto Throughout Australasia	My wife is nibbling at my neck
	2004 Jan 20	Nothing Will Prevail After The Neutrino	I think to make a piece of toast
	2004 Jan 20	Alexander's Shadow Ring-pull	Take five, my little feathered friends
	2004 Jan 21	The Comma Which Causes	Let's desist, this time, from writing trash,
	2004 Jan 21	The Dimmer-Switch Disease	Jeeze, I can't find my knees
	2004 Jan 21	Ut Nicotinum Ad Adorum Nescientum	The rattle of toys being hurled out of prams
	2004 Jan 22	Omicron Froat	My usual muse has gone for good
	2004 Jan 22	Phoebe Married The Warmonger	Smell my squirty button-hole
	2004 Jan 22	Forever The Syntax Omelette	The gas oven sings a sweet song to my leadened seratonin
	2004 Jan 22	The Cork Coffins	This message to the nearly dead
	2004 Jan 22	Arthur Sucking Cough Drops	Shall I start a new poem or will it get trashed?
	2004 Jan 22	Porcine Tales By Granddaddy	I've got a brand new bathroom
	2004 Jan 23	Bootblack Hatrack Knickknack	There are so many words that rhyme with "whack":
	2004 Jan 24	Benedictine Evening Dresses	Poetic mis'ry in a name?
	2004 Jan 24	Paternity Proves Nothing	Crayfish, lobster, crab
	2004 Jan 24	Beaten Fluffy	I took my bitch to get her shaved on Park Lane yesterday
	2004 Jan 24	The Rite For Pipkin Breezes	If I could dance like Fred Austere
	2004 Jan 25	Implacable Northerly Padrés	Competition in other places
	2004 Jan 25	Little Holly Sat Upon Her	I'm the only gay in the village
	2004 Jan 25	Cheese Pistons Of All Ages	What is this evil in our midst?
	2004 Jan 25	Rural Consternation	My sister's just ripped a tractor in two
	2004 Jan 26	Well-wisher's Bride	The grandpaternity suit
	2004 Jan 26	Looking Good Backwards	Where are the songs of yesteryear?
	2004 Jan 26	Each Syllable Concocted By Buddhists	The pulse that beats within a flea
	2004 Jan 26	Won't You, Suzanne?	I read the rules with some concern
	2004 Jan 26	Argument For Exceptions	A new bordello - civic, clean - is what Wisconsin needs
	2004 Jan 27	If The Janitor, When Juggling...	Gorris!
	2004 Jan 27	Womenfolk Taken Aback	When shifting the permanent way
	2004 Jan 27	Mops Our Fevered Explorer Cannot Display	So... slate wiped clean, whereto from here?
	2004 Jan 28	Excess Ease Coming	Who welds a poem huger than the grave?
	2004 Jan 28	Of Sailors And Their Ways	I'll tell you the tale of ham-handed Hannah
	2004 Jan 28	Thesis For A Standard Text	Said the shaman to the showman
	2004 Jan 28	Hamlet With Fish	My chronic youth would soon speed past
	2004 Jan 28	My Toe Is Now Swollen Again	That fellow, Othello, could not be called mellow
	2004 Jan 28	Parsec Progression Beyond	What are the odds
	2004 Jan 29	Evening Along Its Transverse Axis	This caustic little ditty
	2004 Jan 29	Mayoral Heart-throbs	A burst of poignant doctrine
	2004 Jan 29	Semicolon Failings	The scarlet letter, none too soon
	2004 Jan 29	440 Foursome	Three down redoubled, 1000 away
	2004 Jan 29	Frugal Jars Of Mine Filled With Other Piglets	It's a glossary, they claim,
	2004 Jan 30	Traditionally Devoted To Artificial Punctuations	Here in Freud's kettle
	2004 Jan 30	Balletic Tropism	The crutch on which you make your way
	2004 Jan 30	Baroness Buttercup	Oh, innocents, listen in time
	February
	2004 Feb 1	Flight Recorder In Mink	Shocked by his failure to fly,
	2004 Feb 2	Pale Mutabilities Of Death In Wales	Forget them all, their necks, their eyes
	2004 Feb 2	A Plurality Because Of Our Nausea	Let's not forget the little ones
	2004 Feb 3	All That Blisters	Have more wine and honey, darling,
	2004 Feb 3	Further Epsom Salts	How far can we fall
	2004 Feb 3	Caspar Caged	A puma won't return the gaze of Rilke
	2004 Feb 3	Jelly-Babies Prefer Jelly-Parents	Dr Who once gave me candy-floss to eat
	2004 Feb 4	Destiny For My King Of Hastings	One day, while I was walking
	2004 Feb 4	Rebel Angels, Mountain Dance	Labouring dismally under a sky
	2004 Feb 4	Borders For Uncle Monk	'Quite a clump,' he summarised
	2004 Feb 5	Farewell, Mutiny	Cease to sway
	2004 Feb 5	Two Hands Forwards, Two Peas Backwards	Once upon a noontime cheery, as I daydreamed hale and hearty,
	2004 Feb 5	Concealed In Plain Leather	Of all the nights I've spent abroad
	2004 Feb 5	Sorry Lament For Gilded Wallets	When I consider what my wife has spent
	2004 Feb 5	Wresting Joy From Daily Pickles	A pickle I wanted, and yet that darn lid
	2004 Feb 6	Questions, Not More	When You've made all Creation in just seven days
	2004 Feb 8	The Oast-House Symposium	It moves an inch a minute
	2004 Feb 10	The Better To Infiltrate Someone's Affections	I never saw you in a dream
	2004 Feb 10	Even Duplication Factors	Say hello to Chutney Spears
	2004 Feb 10	Those Poor Breakdancing Triplets	The birth canal has many locks
	2004 Feb 10	Baltic Bang	Do not go gently into that goodnight
	2004 Feb 11	Wandering Socks Found Wanton	When JB Priestley, in his bath
	2004 Feb 12	Gateways Home To Worthing	We set out, full of hope and ale, one grey December morn
	2004 Feb 13	I Won't Be Flying Anywhere Near Basildon	There's time enough for changing sides
	2004 Feb 13	Martyrs To The Biscuit Guardians	The bilemonger's bill
	2004 Feb 13	Dangerously We Fly	"What is your destination, child?
	2004 Feb 13	Harvest Me Gently Yet	There's many pheasant pluckers farm life's field
	2004 Feb 15	Unblinking Again	Atop my desk, her portrait stared
	2004 Feb 16	Once Lithuania, Once	In a cave, on a mountain so high
	2004 Feb 17	Perpetual Hermeneutic Of Girl-Guides	When the pressure on our thinking
	2004 Feb 17	Composers In The Ground	Just say "Baroque" and choral hymns
	2004 Feb 17	Habits Of Old Liberals Foregone	"devolve prolific coconut" advised the sophic spam
	2004 Feb 18	Doom Dealt Deftly	The djinn that made me sneeze
	2004 Feb 18	The Great Roar	The lion's the king of the beasts
	2004 Feb 19	Crybaby Number Nine (1967)	The lonely hearts in Sgt. Pepper's Band
	2004 Feb 19	Forgive, Offhandedly	While you were away
	2004 Feb 19	Sometimes Enough Makes Sense	The trampled multitude are free -
	2004 Feb 20	How Can It Be Moss If It Grows Faster?	O sober reflection
	2004 Feb 20	Flawed Inheritance	Agnes played the cymbals, three nights a week
	2004 Feb 21	Tardy Wishes For Sweethearts And Critics	Your valentine was late arriving, the message rather sappy
	2004 Feb 22	Clandestine Openings Like That	Meet me in the arboretum
	2004 Feb 22	Harvested From Unsavoury Pulpits	Only a man.
	2004 Feb 23	No, Angels Shouldn't	To cling, once more, to selfsame forms
	2004 Feb 23	Pious Hens of Unknowing	What kind of men are these, with beards and balding pates?
	2004 Feb 24	Who Drank My Sorbet?	Blend one part soot and two parts salt
	2004 Feb 24	Whence Cometh Our Whelp With Its Peculiar Outlook?	It's not just the hole in the dyke
	2004 Feb 25	All My Cousins, Surely	Goatish hovels - for the poor?
	2004 Feb 25	Near Creepy Cow Lane	The last time I polkaed with Ted
	2004 Feb 27	Messages For Sandwichmen	We scaled it down
	2004 Feb 29	The Birdbath Embargo	Here in Munich's age-old centre
	March
	2004 Mar 1	My Aunt's Astonished Parakeet	Repetition twenty-fold is what I really crave
	2004 Mar 1	Surprise Me Less	The trunk in the attic held something amazing
	2004 Mar 2	To Strive For Dizzying Perfection	To get into the Hall of Fame
	2004 Mar 3	Musical Accomplishments Involving Instruments Of Zinc	It's fine to play the didgeridoo, but please not in the office loo
	2004 Mar 3	Middle Victorian	The generals are born again
	2004 Mar 3	Diffused By Brilliant Clouds	I wandered lonely as a nerd
	2004 Mar 4	It's Unoffically Denied Until Proven	Now the news is out,
	2004 Mar 5	Punctuated Parsimony	There' s no use whining
	2004 Mar 5	Balderdash Brevity	Here's an ode to hogwash - to tripe and pure baloney
***	2004 Mar 8	A Mile Beyond The World May Be A Maiden	Congealing in a fusty box
	2004 Mar 9	Nothing But Extra Famine	Whilst walking on the darkling path
	2004 Mar 10	Alternative Will	Tell me Doc - I've got to know
	2004 Mar 12	Away Game Voyeurism	People are bloody ignorant apes!
	2004 Mar 12	Beyond Her Final Finery	Mow the news is out
	2004 Mar 12	Frauds? Yes	Let us now praise famous men
	2004 Mar 16	Because I Am Seesawing	"Why do you carry hamsters in your pockets?" demanded Mrs. Pringle
	2004 Mar 16	To Your Abiding Toadstools	A granite sheet does not get crumpled,
	2004 Mar 16	Relying On Our Native Discretion	Uncle Stalin's on the floor
	2004 Mar 18	Doves, Couples, Quarks, Exigencies	Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you
	2004 Mar 18	Custom Paintwork Jobs	Good citizens, attend this moral tale
	2004 Mar 18	Proved Once, Baked Twice	Unshockable, the bailiff's urge
	2004 Mar 19	After Lessons	How to explain this shocking situation
	2004 Mar 19	Only Once Is More Than Twice Times Two	Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you
	2004 Mar 19	Collaborating, Supposedly	To polevault, or to stay in bed?
	2004 Mar 22	Several Chemistry Sets	Bromide in the afternoon
	2004 Mar 22	Before Cows Were Chic	They say you're no good
	2004 Mar 23	Vladimir's Looted Me Carrot	Silently clutching his kite,
	2004 Mar 23	Subtle With Hotdogs	'Here are the gum-boots you ordered, madam!'
	2004 Mar 23	Peptic Ulster	Later than the final hour
	2004 Mar 23	Refusenik Attitudes Long Considered Passé	Is that your usual tone of voice?
	2004 Mar 24	Milk Manoeuvres	Free, with every Guernsey cow
	2004 Mar 24	Marrows Away	This choice of relish was not of the best,
	2004 Mar 25	Cardinal In Error	A pepperoni sandwich from the Pope
	2004 Mar 26	Otherworldly Newsagent With Or Without Croutons	A surgeon addicted to soup
	2004 Mar 29	Extraterrestrial, Improperly Aligned	The cookbook used by Dr Who
	2004 Mar 30	To Heroic Bakery	Crumpets, muffins and baguettes
	2004 Mar 30	Rites For Responsible Raisins	My cummerbund was missing
	2004 Mar 30	Somehow Somewhere Leads Nowhere	Would you like to wax my floor?
	2004 Mar 30	Hen Pectoral Commemorated	Suffolk Asian – who would choose
	2004 Mar 31	Onwards, Henrietta Dawson	I carry Hank, my freeze-dried hake,
	2004 Mar 31	Hammerklavier, Dissonantly	The late sonatas on a lute?
	2004 Mar 31	Tales Of Someone Taller Than Expected	Tell me, O Wanderer, whom do you seek?
	April
	2004 Apr 1	Attention: Recurring Decimal	Poor Jones got hanged - and yet I know 'twas
	2004 Apr 2	Bureaucracy Marks The Pedestrians	If filling in forms engenders dismay, tick box 'A'
	2004 Apr 2	Gathering Clouds While Visigoths Circle	Let me be the first to say, it's nice to have you back
	2004 Apr 2	Canine Bearing	Despite this aberration, sir
	2004 Apr 2	Faithful Enough Before Lunch	At the age of thirty-seven
	2004 Apr 11	Soprano And Under	Surrendering to something
	2004 Apr 14	Brief Lives Last Sunday	People from Purley like getting up early
	2004 Apr 14	Who Dares Grins	Before expiring, Genghis said:
	2004 Apr 15	Businessman In Loose Flannels	Watch out for my claim
	2004 Apr 15	Dragonfly With Diamonds	We who were not bound to rhyme
	2004 Apr 15	Beard Recognitions	Friends reunited
	2004 Apr 15	The Danish Word	The lonely Swedish man
	2004 Apr 18	Nursery Rhymes for Lawyers, Juries and Judges	Arnold Berry, quite contrary,
	2004 Apr 19	Chesse-topped Minstrels	This diversion - to the moon! -
	2004 Apr 19	Amulets As Fishcakes	When I went to Inverness
	2004 Apr 20	Spoon Receipt	Such is the demon's lot
	2004 Apr 20	She Never Even Saw His Noble Bonfire	Without ever eating
	2004 Apr 20	Upstream Into Camberwell	So clumsy, so clumsy
	2004 Apr 23	Iconoclasts Rarely Gain Entry To Disneyland	Breaking down barriers and opening doors
	2004 Apr 24	Brigade Of Billabongs	In conclusion, Speckled Jim
	2004 Apr 24	Longingly Depend	Whilst figuring out how to untie his shoes
	2004 Apr 24	Piquant Hostesses	Bowls of mustard lined the hall
	2004 Apr 25	My Slide Transmission	Another Red poem commences
	2004 Apr 26	Looking Lively And Feeling Crap	Can this be it? Can Spring be here?
	2004 Apr 26	Bayonets Programmed To Twirl	Scarcely welcome though she was
	2004 Apr 28	Unsettled Directions	From the Baltic, travel North
	2004 Apr 29	Sausages Stitched Lengthways	The rats climbed on the rising ship
	2004 Apr 29	Ghastly Appendages	Oh, it's all quite ghastly
	2004 Apr 29	Marmots Roam Willy-nilly Across Naked And Glistening Tundras	Make love to me as if you'd spent
	2004 Apr 29	Nuns Betray Our Laxative Supplies	Incantations - dead of night -
	May
	2004 May 1	More Coal Please. Vicar	She's known as Nell, down in Camberwell
	2004 May 1	Late Comers To Rollerblades	Which came first, the liver or the wurst?
	2004 May 7	Liquid Never Flinches	So plaintively you ask if this
	2004 May 7	Carbohydrate Counts Against Each Mouthful	The problem of a bee city
	2004 May 8	Thwarted By Occam	Don't invade us till the dawn,
	2004 May 9	Surprise Dentistry	At a quarter past one on the fifteenth of May
	2004 May 10	Shelley: Drowning Was Enough	The weight of any bantam
	2004 May 10	Trios Yet	No I never joined in
	2004 May 11	Zarathustra Lurking In The Out-tray	Colossal, in a home-made hat
	2004 May 12	Motherhood In The Pasture	Diapering tushies is really a bummer
	2004 May 13	Lest We Forgive Without Forgetting	For the gloom that follows fire
	2004 May 13	Better Lettuce Forthcoming	As the orders start to dry
	2004 May 17	Pork Beam Custard	Palpably encoded in the Turing mould
	2004 May 17	Upstream Candidate	He was singing in Dutch
	2004 May 17	Wasted Needlework	Harrumph, I say
	2004 May 17	Oversight Of The Acrosticial	When any lowbrow tunesmith offers notes
	2004 May 18	We Sold Our Restaurants In Cyprus	Upanishads and Vedic verse
	2004 May 18	The Very Ouch	Put me through the paper shredder
***	2004 May 18	Calling For A Funicular Tramway Service	While strutting through the quicksand
	2004 May 21	Semaphore Statements Issued In Urdu	Let's keep this one simple
***	2004 May 21	Seven Seasons In Red	Was it for this that I sold all my children?
	2004 May 21	We Flee Toward The Far Journey	It is time, I think we'd all agree,
	2004 May 24	Meaty Beaty Big And Bonsai	Sausage, when the time is right
	2004 May 24	Circus Accountants	Dreary, dreary dogs
	2004 May 25	Adjectives On Steroids	So sullen was he, in his melancholy wistfulness,
	2004 May 25	Today's Not Likely	Pardon my haste - I really must dash
***	2004 May 25	Rubbish-tip Top	The moving pencil writes and, having writ, it breaks
	2004 May 25	Ellis Inland	Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light
	2004 May 26	Profit From Jaaaaazzzzzzzz	When any lowbrow tunesmith offers notes
	2004 May 26	Home Time Before Cock-crow	Why do I sit here, why do I strive
	2004 May 27	After Backward Cause	An adman amiably asserted
	2004 May 27	Keeping Her Through Ignorance	Let's not expect the moon
	2004 May 27	Aspirated Eyeball, Innit?	It started with a glottal stop
	2004 May 28	Hanging Trout Fancying Grandmothers	I dropped it down the wishing well
	2004 May 28	Desist, Whoreson Knave, Lest Great Cudgellings Befall Thee	To count the rings of Saturn
	2004 May 28	Attraction Determined By Inquest	He took her down a leafy lane
	2004 May 29	Banished From Man's Ears	To cudgel, to cajole
	2004 May 29	Cautionary Tales For Young Hotshots	How many times must I tell you?
	June
	2004 Jun 1	Nepalese Danceuse Observed Using Stun-guns	Behold the scold:
***	2004 Jun 1	Wordsworth's Intention	On viewing Chloe's coccyx
	2004 Jun 1	Sing Soprano Like They're Sniffing	A venerated halibut consecrated mass
	2004 Jun 1	Raindrops Keep Dripping On The Photoshoot	Atop the hill the castle stood
	2004 Jun 2	Dunciad Variorum	'Twas Pope who wrote that angels fear
	2004 Jun 2	Intensify The Passion For Ophthalmology	Bigfoot saw the racehorse
	2004 Jun 2	Oftentimes Manet Tried Somersaulting Over Renoir	Lanky Hank was the tallest of Sherpas
	2004 Jun 2	Afternoon Delight Until Midday	City slickers in the sunlight
	2004 Jun 3	Bailiff Only Because	Beyond the reach of kettle-leads
	2004 Jun 3	Quenching Their Papyrus Of Filth	Saratoga springs eternal
	2004 Jun 10	In The Seventh Parcel Are Several Businessmen	When pass-the-parcel palls
	2004 Jun 14	Palomar Mentors	Got Venus in my Transit
	2004 Jun 16	In Our Wintry Organ	To prime one's seventh armpit
	2004 Jun 16	Nothing More Tangible For Hillmen	Reticence, the virtue of the fool
	2004 Jun 16	Stewed Sea-weed, Nothing More	Pip, as a boy, the marshes trod
	2004 Jun 17	Ages Rush By, Unremarked By Anyone	What shall we do today, my dear, where would you like to go
	2004 Jun 18	Forswear Courage	Hollie was a hostage
	2004 Jun 20	Grid Of Life Expectant	The weight of expectation is pressing on my brain
	2004 Jun 21	Seegarten Tour For Wits	If it's standing-room only
	2004 Jun 21	Chirping By Other Means	Yeast admixed with poisoned brine
	2004 Jun 22	Haddock Framing	I berate you for infecting
	2004 Jun 22	Lotteries Bring Us Little Snowdrops	Divest yourself of all your wealth!
	2004 Jun 22	A Very Lodestone	'A Fiery Flying Roll', you claim
	2004 Jun 23	Singing For Our Tea In C	A whipping-boy
	2004 Jun 24	Cutlery At Noon	Silent in the dinner-queue
	2004 Jun 24	Deaf Though They Be Dubbed	Behold the spineless fossil
	2004 Jun 24	Unworthy Of Scorn	This invention makes me sick!
	2004 Jun 25	Each Dainty Ballerina And Her Imaginary Pilchard	This happy nest has made me cry
	2004 Jun 25	Subliminal Telemetry Wasted	A muse might amuse us
	2004 Jun 25	The Kiss Cabin	This mouth of salt
	2004 Jun 25	Thistle Bow And Saw	This poem will be highbrow and clean as a whistle
	2004 Jun 26	M 32 Road Movie	These old molluscs, bought for tea, inscribe
	2004 Jun 27	Blackbird Singing With Bluebeard	With 'action' just another word
	2004 Jun 27	The Braunschmidt Transponder	Palimpsest of things divine
	2004 Jun 29	The Fourth Alibi From The Left	Oh blessed fragment of the foam
	2004 Jun 30	If If Why When How Who	Big Brother watches the housemates perform
	2004 Jun 30	Maidens Irritated When Their Purity Runs Out	A thesaurus was stoned to death, a diction'ry was raped,
	July
	2004 Jul 1	My Cardboard Mother	Dressing as a helicopter
	2004 Jul 1	Defenestrating Our Noisome Entertainers	Beckham, Rooney, Owen and Scholes
	2004 Jul 2	The Universe Eyed From The Back Row	Leonardo da Vinci
	2004 Jul 2	Danish Polka	Bruno's head, a perfect sphere
***	2004 Jul 2	Domestic Meltdown	The problem is easy to see
	2004 Jul 2	Only Fools Rush	Only a rose
	2004 Jul 2	The Tale Of Squabbling Archangels	At first, it seemed an ordinary day
	2004 Jul 2	The Denouement Of Vermicelli	The blank screen gazes remorselessly back
	2004 Jul 5	Who Knows More Than Folk?	To yield without coercion
	2004 Jul 6	Forget About Broken Daisies	When you take a taxicab, don't forget to tip
	2004 Jul 6	The Fragile Steel	So easy to upset her
	2004 Jul 6	We Never Boycott Oversights	Got a nice new jersey
	2004 Jul 7	Tin-openers Practising What?	Meander into Shropshire, in the old MG,
	2004 Jul 7	The Right Lunar Terrace Concept	These pronouncements, from the moon, were made in dead of night:
	2004 Jul 7	Prosperity Falters If Poverty Persists Beyond The Breadline	Meathook
	2004 Jul 7	Lighthouse Magic	It came upon the midnight clear
	2004 Jul 7	Sediment Flying In From The Airfield	Ten more miles and we'll be home
	2004 Jul 8	Purse Maps	In the second shopping-trolley
	2004 Jul 8	The Parliamentary Parsley Supplier	Peel an onion? - for a jape?
	2004 Jul 9	Sailor Marinated In November	Pleiades in yonder sky
	2004 Jul 9	Staff Barbecue For Hygienic Elves	Pleonastic bunkers that the empire built
	2004 Jul 9	Believe What You Will But Doubt Nothing Excepting Yourself	Little boys with little toys
	2004 Jul 9	North-east Is Henceforth Banished	A globe for tea, crammed high with brine,
	2004 Jul 9	Hideum Cat	Banalities, encountered twice,
	2004 Jul 12	Tea-room Trumpery	Catachresis in the crypt
	2004 Jul 13	Glaswegians In Time-share Bodies	On a hilltop, left of Rheims,
	2004 Jul 13	Weather-vane Warning	Behind the grizzled pine
	2004 Jul 13	Zeppelin Without Page	Said Benk, the lusty bear,
	2004 Jul 14	The Zimmer-frame Society	Emblematic? Regal? Or a waste of space,
	2004 Jul 14	Each Weary Welcoming	To redefine our clique
	2004 Jul 14	Fail By Then If Never	Calisthenic ribaldry shall not win you the prize!
	2004 Jul 16	Tennis Balls Striking Us Forcibly	I never will get over
	2004 Jul 18	America Next Thursday Or Thereabouts	Thou old, unruly turban
	2004 Jul 19	Beep Road	My dear, have you lost your panache?
	2004 Jul 19	Disco Infernal	Annie Lennox drove my car
	2004 Jul 21	Dreams Of Soup Kitchens	A mile or so beyond
	2004 Jul 21	Taller Despite Appearances	The short-cuts that Yevgeny likes
	2004 Jul 22	Horticultural Adages Designed By Sadistic Schoolmarms	Artichokes stop chasing, when the sunset glows,
	2004 Jul 27	Swedish Substitute For Previously Contaminated Dessert	Speciously, you are so fine!
	2004 Jul 29	Bless This Horse With Greatness	The Gryphon, on his rival page
	2004 Jul 29	Dating Twilight Gals	Pogonophores and Dubliners
	2004 Jul 30	Gloucestershire Throughout Devon	'Tis the ebbing of the eyes
	2004 Jul 30	Imminent Destruction Of Everything In Port	Passion, closeness and great sex
	August
	2004 Aug 4	Nightly Coal Kimono	These cosy virtuosi
	2004 Aug 5	Patience Is Never Compared To Hopscotch	Is solitaire a virtue?
	2004 Aug 5	To The Nth Decree	These brief lines
	2004 Aug 6	Smudge On A Trumpet	I'm not even thinking
	2004 Aug 8	Eyeliner How Ever Loosely Bent	Ridicule for penguins only makes them slide
	2004 Aug 9	Fish Remedies For Mischief	Not a feather, nor a leaf,
	2004 Aug 9	Buns Beyond Sunset	Breathlessly, you claim to be
	2004 Aug 10	Undercover Pastries Lost In Space	In every other window
	2004 Aug 11	Rustic Tangent	The taxidermist's holiday
	2004 Aug 11	Distant Fashion	The tram that passed the Opera
	2004 Aug 11	Syllabub Proverbs	The lumps one sometimes finds in cream
	2004 Aug 13	Perdition In Vitro	When I went to the bar as a very young man
	2004 Aug 13	Crabbily Dressed For Dancing Partners	To scuttle through the shallows with my claws stretched wide
	2004 Aug 14	Naughty Thoughts Are Always Parochial	How fetching you look, Miss Sipple
	2004 Aug 16	Those Whose Every Movement Counts	I chanced upon a postcard
	2004 Aug 16	Knighthood For Those In Direst Destitution	I chanced upon a shouting match
	2004 Aug 17	It Might Not Be That Scrap	When coupled with that
	2004 Aug 17	Robbers Never Stopped Us Before Lunch	It started at quarter to one
	2004 Aug 17	Nomads Are Only Upright Hayseeds	Affectless nomads
	2004 Aug 18	Through Hooded Dreams	Shoot off her skin
	2004 Aug 18	Evidence From Pablum Mechanics	It isn't right, it isn't wrong
	2004 Aug 19	Friday Night Aspirants	At least it isn't hailing
	2004 Aug 19	Save Our Dickensian Surrogates	Scuttling from clime to clime
	2004 Aug 20	The Operatic Life	I had a fish named Rusty
	2004 Aug 20	Meringue-laden Exclamations	At this time, most every day,
	2004 Aug 20	Biblical Sheep-dip Nonsense	No more strumpets,
	2004 Aug 23	Nuptial Mishaps With Long Knives	A young anthropologist cried
	2004 Aug 24	Estonian Homonyms	This encroachment, on my lawn,
	2004 Aug 24	Raskolnikov Spotless, Adrift Upon Oceans	Jesuitical was his way
	2004 Aug 25	Sugary Benisons During Walpurgisnacht	In conclusion, blessed child,
	2004 Aug 25	Reaper Without Envy	Kaolin
	2004 Aug 25	While Parachutes Descend Upon Unsuspecting Parsons	To build a good business you must
	2004 Aug 26	Carry No Weightlifters Aloft	When shopping for a pachyderm
	2004 Aug 26	They Astray	On coming home at last
	2004 Aug 27	Boot Cramp Without Due Cause	Be loyal to your captain, soldier: he was once a man like you
	2004 Aug 27	Poorly Bohemians After Supper	An escapee from sanity: that's me
	2004 Aug 27	We Penguins Have Closed Supper Clubs Forever	I'm an escapee from sanity
	2004 Aug 27	The Least Suspicious Concertina	A drooping, stealthful melody
	2004 Aug 27	Florizel Inclined	Hide me, my darling, in your tresses!
	2004 Aug 27	Not What It Seems	Back at the beginning
	2004 Aug 27	Queen Of The Feathers	Her innocence unquestioned, her purity renowned
	2004 Aug 27	Compulsive Fondling By Men Of Gentility	She checked its lock a dozen times
	2004 Aug 27	Westwards In Search Of Undiscovered Pastries	Despite his utter shabbiness
	2004 Aug 27	Welcome To The Never-ending School	Comrade railcar
	2004 Aug 30	Travelers That Float	A flibbertigibbet you are, aha!
	2004 Aug 30	Addicts Of Various Dispositions	Wallowing hogs and leaping frogs
	2004 Aug 30	Channel The Avuncular	My Uncle says, "The weasel never sings."
	2004 Aug 31	Campaigns Begin Like Bladders	The politican declaimed and avowed
	2004 Aug 31	The Deepest, Darkest Regions Inside My Colon	Whenever I go for a smoke
	September
	2004 Sep 1	It Never Raineth On The Holy Fool	Back at the beginning
	2004 Sep 1	Plans For Nobody	Andromeda, I cry to thee
	2004 Sep 1	The Things That Are Caramelized By Moonlight	Imagine there were jungles on the moon
	2004 Sep 2	There Once Lived Some Rather Odd Babies	In a poisoned gondola
	2004 Sep 2	Adrift Beyond Our Reckoning	Three hobbling blondes
	2004 Sep 2	Dice In The Ovens Of Rheims	The early bird, that gets the lion's share
	2004 Sep 3	Sages Of Most Definite Hopefulness	Behold!
	2004 Sep 4	Blossom On Most Wintry Afternoons	How blistering your prose, how Jovian your style
	2004 Sep 6	Yeats Upon A Toadstool	Parsimony of the heavens
	2004 Sep 7	Left Handed And Concealed In Murky Allusions	Is it such a sin to lust
	2004 Sep 7	Culinary Experts Seldom Agree	Add some resin to the pulp, and deftly stir:
	2004 Sep 8	Bite-sized Granules Of Compassionate Crunchiness	I think she may be going mad
	2004 Sep 8	The Snowman Assassinated By Fibreglass Mittens	A limerick written by me
	2004 Sep 9	Drenched In Watery Ends	Your putative queen, dear sire, has fled,
	2004 Sep 9	When The Final Scone Hovers Above Our Fish-pond	Predictably enough
	2004 Sep 10	Cheery Thoughts About Society	Biting on a leaden shell, I contemplate my doom
	2004 Sep 12	One Apostate Fieldmouse Alone In All Conjecture	Ignorance, in former times
	2004 Sep 13	It Cannot Be The Teapots	She is in love with the beautiful formlessness of the sea (Sylvia Plath)
	2004 Sep 14	Juicy John Chest Unit	Yield unto me, maiden fresh,
	2004 Sep 14	Not Princeton, Nor Any Other Halls Of Improvement	As with gladness men of old
	2004 Sep 15	Unnecessary Puns As She Grasped Another Cupcake	Her eyes are like a cup of tea
	2004 Sep 16	Nothing But The Very Onerous Consumption Of Desire	This rare dark beauty doth my heart inspire
	2004 Sep 16	Stuff Your Turkey And Grab A Second Chance For Redemption	I see you bought a pair of saddle shoes
***	2004 Sep 16	Satanists With No Desire For Pontifical Stripes	I bought a thing on ebay
	2004 Sep 16	Lamentations Upon The Morrow	I stare into myself, hoping for redress
	2004 Sep 17	She-men And Domestic Appliances	If silence is golden, why won't you be quiet?
	2004 Sep 17	Epic Oration Looms To Starboard	In time to come, rememb'rance of this hour
	2004 Sep 18	The Morsel Of Reason	Rare confection - of delight!
	2004 Sep 19	But For Us And Them	Call me a quack
	2004 Sep 21	Nature And Delight Worn Out	We are the Corporation
	2004 Sep 21	Reunions That Plato Forgot	Selected for his miseries
	2004 Sep 23	Society Umbrellas	Your frothy latte burns my tongue
	2004 Sep 28	Criterion For Studiousness In Death	It was a very shambles
	October
	2004 Oct 4	Ruinously Enough	An omission, in the dyke,
	2004 Oct 5	Since We Are Seldom Decoded	Caught in cobwebs, smothered by your love
	2004 Oct 5	Credible Safe Kill Factor	Virus warfare for our times
	2004 Oct 6	Outlawed Haiku	This secret haven
	2004 Oct 8	Not Allowed In Our Picnics	A tide of rash assumptions
	2004 Oct 8	If Kipling Required Satisfaction	If all the buyers faced this way
	2004 Oct 9	Hens Pretend To Bend Spoons	Infestation's not a problem, but the cure!
	2004 Oct 11	Holy Things Always Worry Women	Who will search
	2004 Oct 11	State-side Transmissions	These distinctions, in the dark,
	2004 Oct 12	Namedroppers' Tango	Several times you've baked a cake
	2004 Oct 12	Cardigan Wildlife Artists	When chatty foils reappear
	2004 Oct 13	Lest We Forge Biscuits For Orphaned Presidents	Mildenhall; I choose to doubt
	2004 Oct 14	When Nagging Seem Treasonous	"Love me or leave me," my girlfriend remarked
	2004 Oct 14	The Jurisprudence Of Aquatic Creatures	the egret watched the passing ship
	2004 Oct 17	Dunciad Of Love-sick Hands	To fetishise her silhouette
	2004 Oct 17	Compensation By Degrees	Strange transmissions, Norah says,
	2004 Oct 20	His Lady Grammarian	Babbling as the brook in spate,
	2004 Oct 22	Pharyngitis Spells Trouble	Unbridled is your sense of fear
	2004 Oct 22	Clucking Behind The Bicycle Sheds	Charlie the cheerful chicken
	2004 Oct 22	Massacred By Melting Geology	My foot is stuck; I cannot move
	2004 Oct 25	Departures In Disarray	Sophistry, for those who wait,
	2004 Oct 26	Effortless Abyss	Cold crustaceans, diving deep,
	2004 Oct 26	Unsubtle Songs And Cowboy Gemstones	When packing bags, it's always best to try
	2004 Oct 30	Philately Tentacles	I'm off – be back by Thursday night
	November
	2004 Nov 1	Plane Of Placenta	Tribulation, fear and woe
	2004 Nov 2	OK, Naysayer	Have you ever rode a Trojan horse?
	2004 Nov 3	In My Long-lost Wellingtons	Magnetic fields, an iron horse
	2004 Nov 4	Zoology Students On Holiday	My cat has six claws on her frontmost two paws
	2004 Nov 8	Heliotrope Spores	If waking life had time for dreams
	2004 Nov 9	Packing-case Diagrams	When all seems lost, all hope forlorn
	2004 Nov 14	Hittite Words Of Unforgiving	A gentleman of oriental character
	2004 Nov 16	Your Stupid Obsession With Unworldly People-Carriers	She whitewashed me into the corner
	2004 Nov 16	The Newest Helmet	You can't complain
	2004 Nov 17	The Approach Of Suicidal Robots	The telecon went on and on
	2004 Nov 18	Rediscovered Unchanged	Choice apples, red or lilac, I now eat
	2004 Nov 18	Mine Or Not To Be	Your clone is a much better lover
	2004 Nov 18	Envious Neighbors	They say that those who live their lives
	2004 Nov 23	Generally Too Much Opulence	How lithely do these lilliputians leap
	2004 Nov 24	All Things Can Be Overturned In Time	Join the dance, you naiads all,
	2004 Nov 25	Wenceslas Is Square Enough For Most	A revolution, velvet-lined,
	2004 Nov 29	Visions Of Shouting Greengrocers	Last night I had the strangest dream
	2004 Nov 29	Hypothesis Epsilon	Come, let us dance, just you and I
	2004 Nov 29	Predicated Upon Juvenile Ignorance	The bishop, in his water-wig
	2004 Nov 29	Things Are Annoying Everywhere	Just take a breath - we'll sort this out
	2004 Nov 30	Lunar Love-fest	We hear you're taking a trip to the moon
	December
	2004 Dec 1	Thoughts Of The Tedious Old Graybeards	This bathing cap, whose time-eroded pleats
	2004 Dec 1	Lurching Balloons	Please release me
	2004 Dec 8	Parts That Require Frequent Calibration	A man once played my didgeridoo
	2004 Dec 9	Prone To Tautologies	Of sacred cows and catered sows
	2004 Dec 9	Please Let Us Pronounce Each Syllable Better	One for the money, two for joy
	2004 Dec 9	The Hurricane That Tore Our Beloved Condominium From Its Very Foundation	Behind the bandstand, when we dared
	2004 Dec 9	Pathos During Moonsets	This wearisome drought
	2004 Dec 10	Towards Our Preordained Tenements	As with so many medicinal jokes
	2004 Dec 10	The Mean Spirit Inside My Frog	Toasting bread is rarely easy
	2004 Dec 11	Watery Flapjacks, Damn It!	Adam and Eve had reason to grieve
	2004 Dec 14	Dickens Saith	"A pox upon thee, wretched cur!"
	2004 Dec 14	Every Third Word Recited Effortlessly (Canticle )	"A pox upon thee, wretched cur!"
	2004 Dec 15	Sidcup Half-remembered	It's not the custom, nowadays
	2004 Dec 16	Doubly Formal Zebras	To hoist a somewhat smaller flag
	2004 Dec 17	Facile Farewell	Taking umbrage, in the Nile,
	2004 Dec 17	Farfetched	I'll be home for Christmas (alas!)
	2004 Dec 21	This Is My Third Thumb	Please release me. Let me go
	2004 Dec 22	Albatross, Lie Still	How calmly did th olive branch
	2004 Dec 24	Limblessly Effortless	Up here we no longer have a need . . . for thumbs
	2004 Dec 31	Pointless Goodness	"The End is near!" the Bellman cried

This page was last modified by The Spoonmaster, April 13 2023.

The Spoonbill Generator Archive

A Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007

Poems completed in 2004

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