The Spoonbill Generator Archive

A Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007

Poems by Year: 1996 - 1997 - 1998 - 1999 - 2000 - 2001 - 2002 - 2003 - 2004 - 2005 - 2006 - 2007

*** Hall of Fame — Index of First Lines — Poems by Colour

		Title	First line

Alphabetical List of Titles
		Poems open in a new window
	2003 Dec 10	"Enough!" Said Old McDonald	Inspiration isn't need - not when you're a pote
	2006 Apr 7	"How Curious!", Quoth The Melancholy Shrike	Engrossed by the maudlin
	1997 Nov 22	"Tomorrowismybirthday" cried Katharine's Wedding	Pile a hailstone on a hailstone
	2003 Aug 26	"You Are Carbon", We Said	The waves are in turmoil, and strike at the rocks
	2000 Dec 1	'Destiny', Said Chastity, 'Doesn't Fulfil'	Your new line will go here
	2006 May 11	22 Catheters Soaked By Circumstance	Who could resist
	1997 Apr 10	23 Babies In Maritime Tryst	Two doggerels, whelped in one litter
	2004 Jan 29	440 Foursome	Three down redoubled, 1000 away
	2003 Sep 16	5-7-5 Harmony	Refuge I must seek
	2006 Jul 7	51 Flavours of Diffusion	So very far from welcome
	2002 Feb 7	69 Servants	The artichoke eyed the chili pepper with murderous contempt
	2000 Sep 3	Gratia nobis fructus agimus benedicte nisi veniam purpuriens	Spry raindrops against a beercan tinkle
	2004 Jan 28	Hamlet With Fish	My chronic youth would soon speed past
***	2000 Jan 18	A Behavioural Thesis	You giants! You, who from this crag
	1999 Apr 16	A Bergsonian Lullaby For Cats	Cowboy and Chabot are on the go!
	2003 Oct 1	A Challenge To The Juvenile	How many times have you started a line
	2003 Sep 24	A Civilised Child, Lost for Moments	Into the unblinking eyes of children
	2002 Nov 6	A Contest for Castle Custard	The goat came down from the hill-tops
	2006 Apr 21	A Cynical Attitude Toward Roadrunners	Out here in the wasteland
	1999 Apr 4	A Dire Tenderness	Never deny that I warned you
	2003 Aug 22	A Doberman You All Wanted To Know	There was an old maid from Duluth
	2003 Aug 15	A Fine Line Between Endless Cats	On Friday the seventh of May
	2000 Jan 4	A Formal Comeback For The New Millipede	From pyramid to penthouse
	2002 Nov 12	A Fourth Shortcake Detector	Continuous as the sharks that dine
	2007 Jan 15	A Futile Attempt on Parnassus	I meant it as an insult
	2003 Jul 24	A Homerian Epic of Anglicans in Peru	There was an old man from Peru
	2003 Sep 4	A Journey	A big bloke called Gojko the Serb
	2003 Oct 13	A Lacklustre Paragon	Changed the channels 'til my fingers bled
	2003 Sep 17	A Meadowlark Crumbling in Basalt	A costive agent knows too well
	2003 Sep 25	A Melee Mightn't Make My Machinations Musical	To write a good poem several things are required
***	2004 Mar 8	A Mile Beyond The World May Be A Maiden	Congealing in a fusty box
	2002 Nov 12	A New Golem School	Your lack of understanding
	1997 Nov 4	A Particularly Contemporary Procedure	Particularly pleasing was the scent of new-mown hay
	2001 Sep 26	A Pleonastic Admirer of Superfluous Nuns	The men in Berlin are terribly thin
	2004 Feb 2	A Plurality Because Of Our Nausea	Let's not forget the little ones
	2003 Sep 4	A Pointy Neck	Why do people stare at me?
	2001 Jan 9	A Prawn Parading	An ant always admires actors
	2003 Jul 31	A Prior Rainbow	Red was the color of my true love's knuckles.
	2001 Sep 6	A Railway Canal	I cycled to the station with fury on my mind
	2003 Jun 26	A Reasonable Religion for Village Greens	Silver and brown were the eaves of the town
	2003 Mar 18	A Relativity Prayer Shawl Thrown Aside	I quaffed nine cups of joe this morn
	2003 Sep 2	A Relief	An uncle, all carbon
	2003 Sep 10	A Romatic Ending	Beth and Lee got hitched in Vegas
	2003 Aug 6	A Round	Higgle-dee piggle-dee pudding and pie
	2003 Jul 18	A Royal Disaster	Indeed the overweening queen
	2003 Sep 26	A Simple Purveyor of Gaffes	Carpe diem, as they say
	1997 May 18	A Snail Keeps Shop	A Case of Riotous Block
	2003 Jul 31	A Story About Her Master's Mustache	It might've been his husky voice
	2003 Aug 1	A Style of Dancing I Remember	Scarlett and Rhett decided to pet
	2003 Aug 7	A Three-Life Exercise	Life is like a coconut
	1997 Sep 20	A Toasted Budgie in my Laxative	This extra leg's a bother
	1997 Mar 13	A Token for Parting	The filing cabinet, the filing cabinet
	2003 Jun 24	A Vagabond Lacking Cunning	"Better", I told him, "you had left your seed unsown"
	2001 Jan 23	A Vain Attempt in English to Accommodate Divers	The hour of innocence, of hopes and dreams
	2004 Jun 22	A Very Lodestone	'A Fiery Flying Roll', you claim
	2002 Nov 1	A Virgin's Twelve Testicles	Such a vile winter! Warm in nooks
	2000 Jan 14	A Whole Inuit Tooth	Orificial
	2004 Jan 7	A Wishlist For Clambakes	I hear that sluts from Milwaukee
	2003 Jun 23	Abandon Malfeasance, My Cobweb Doctor	You wouldn't want a cobweb
	2000 Jan 25	Abandoned Frightfulness	Consumed by Lust, whose second course
	2000 May 1	Abhorrent Paradises	A silver bird, set in a leaden sky
	2002 Jul 29	Abigail	On Thames' Embankment, bright spring day
	2003 Sep 18	About A Hedgehog	The problem with speaking in verse
	2003 Dec 22	About Buck	What a strange little boy is Timmy John Jones
	2006 Feb 16	Absent White	Rimbaud, Verlaine and absinthe
	2003 Oct 2	Absorbent Syllables	Another year on, the question arises:
	2005 Dec 23	Abundance Throughout Pompeii	In these forests, aroundabout,
	2003 Dec 10	Abuse Of Frequent Positivism	While I was panhandling one bright sunny day
	2003 Jul 11	Accessible Under Hegemony	To thy nobility am I obliged
	2003 Apr 18	Accidents to Unwary Playmates	In the timeless forests of the north
	2003 Feb 20	Acrimony for Unknown Pontiffs	Doctrine of the spiral stair
***	2000 Jan 31	Adam's Ballooning Error	Whatever happened to darling Denise?
	2004 Aug 30	Addicts Of Various Dispositions	Wallowing hogs and leaping frogs
	2004 May 25	Adjectives On Steroids	So sullen was he, in his melancholy wistfulness,
	2004 Sep 2	Adrift Beyond Our Reckoning	Three hobbling blondes
	2002 Jun 11	Adventurous Wednesday	Never mind the problem throat
	2000 Feb 1	Advertising Plato	With cogent epigrams
	2004 May 27	After Backward Cause	An adman amiably asserted
	2004 Mar 19	After Lessons	How to explain this shocking situation
	2002 Jul 3	After Misdemeanours	Fang by nature,
	2005 Feb 2	After Reality, Interregnum	She plugged it in, she switched it on
	2002 Sep 29	After the Empire, Nothing New	Cushions – when their time has passed
	2003 Jun 17	Afterglow/Puzzle	The pallid young apprentice
	2004 Jun 2	Afternoon Delight Until Midday	City slickers in the sunlight
	2001 Nov 22	Afternoon Prayers, Being a Master-Class for Emissaries of Torpor	Let's be quick! Their backs are turned
	2003 Jul 18	Again We Raise the Standards of Poetry Crimes Against Humanity	The slate is clean, the ink is fresh
	2003 Aug 15	Against Spelling	Would you care to dance?
	2000 Aug 29	Against Tintin: Yesterday And Today	When Friday rolls eventually around
	2002 Nov 12	Against Wheat-craft	Here, in Glasgow,
	2004 Jun 17	Ages Rush By, Unremarked By Anyone	What shall we do today, my dear, where would you like to go
	2003 Jul 23	Agog at the Freaks	Whatever are you doing, Mr. Trimble?
	2003 Sep 29	Agriculture Good And Bad	In the land where the brain-fart trees grow
	1999 Oct 14	Ahab Still Got Those Almighty Moonshine Blues	All dressed up and nowhere to go
	2003 Sep 4	Air Is Saleable To Those Who Don't Care	Billy Mays here, Folks, to tell you about an incredible new product:
	2001 Aug 20	Airlock, Warlock	The Ministry of Frost
	2005 Oct 15	Airworthy Kitchens	Dross of ages past is ours
	2003 Jul 18	Alas My...	If not for that one "mistake"
	2004 Dec 22	Albatross, Lie Still	How calmly did th olive branch
	1997 Mar 18	Albert Questions The Benighted Cauliflower	What tremor racks my boneless foot?
	2002 Oct 3	Aldershot's Unhappy History of Gardening Compromises	Mine is not a ranicd bun, served steaming on a plate,
	2004 Jan 20	Alexander's Shadow Ring-pull	Take five, my little feathered friends
	2003 Jan 2	Alexandrian Wish Warrior	Upon a star I wished one day
	1998 Apr 24	Alice's Adventures in the Improbability Pie	Alice threw the looking-glass
***	1997 Nov 25	Alice's Peculiar Revenge	Alice frowned; all around, leaves were falling to the ground
	2003 Jul 30	Alien Hissy Fit	Aliens squirted mustard in my face
	1998 Mar 2	All Aboard, Airhead!	Wide eyed and innocent, she
	1999 Jan 7	All But There	There's a THERE there all right
	2003 Aug 25	All My Complaints	My battery is draining
	2004 Feb 25	All My Cousins, Surely	Goatish hovels - for the poor?
	2004 Feb 3	All That Blisters	Have more wine and honey, darling,
	2006 Mar 20	All The Benighted Croutons	When choosing the proper wine
	2004 Nov 24	All Things Can Be Overturned In Time	Join the dance, you naiads all,
	2003 Nov 28	Allegory Of Scandinavian Nuptuals	Rubbing out the guide-book
	2004 Jan 10	Allowing Rembrandt His Fish Supper	Between the pilot and the prow
	1997 Feb 12	Almost After Forgotten	Sleepless wretched pacing, red-rivered eyes - glazed, gazing
	2000 May 11	Alone With Another Fool	I'm afraid he is addicted to collaborative verse
	2003 Nov 20	Alphabetically Defined	Anthony Brown caused doubts everywhere
	2003 Oct 21	Alright?	Hey Randy? Are you still up?
	2004 Mar 10	Alternative Will	Tell me Doc - I've got to know
	1997 Jan 30	Although My Testament Lies Steaming	The price of penance is the soul,
	2000 Nov 23	Always Blithering	When ducks and drakes meet late at night
	2005 Jun 29	Always Downfallen	The mood, in Hitler's bunker
	2003 Jun 22	Always One Vane	Foul, foul, foul, this weather's spent
	2003 Oct 27	Always Vainglorious Hootenannies	I bought a little bandersnatch
	2003 Oct 31	Amanda and Her Moose Therapy	I traced the lineage of the Spoon
	1998 Dec 11	Ambush Every Closure	What an opportunity, what a sheer delight!
	2004 Jul 18	America Next Thursday Or Thereabouts	Thou old, unruly turban
	2003 Sep 25	America, Land Where Meiosis Reigns	I've heard that the folks in the U S of A
	2005 Feb 15	Among Beanbags	So tell us, how many times have you
	2005 Nov 12	Amsterdam Transfers	These canals are full of fish?!
	2004 Apr 19	Amulets As Fishcakes	When I went to Inverness
	2001 Mar 9	Amusing-Esoteric	Necromancy doesn't work, my uncle used to say
	2003 Oct 1	An Elliptical Doppelganger	Me and my loneliness; we often talk
	1999 Mar 23	An Entropic Encroachment	As we waited for the bus to mow the wicked postman down
	1998 Feb 4	An Idyllic Situation Ruined By Reed-Buntings	The best man is a tidy one,
	2003 Sep 17	Anarchy Pastilles	When Spoonbill went on the blink
	1999 Sep 23	Anathema or Assonance	A Plutonian plutocracy, a demonized democracy,
	2004 Jan 15	Anatomical Chaps	Vesalius, whose scalpel bright
	2007 Mar 29	Ancestral Portraits: Girl Askance	Ethel had the sharpest wit,
	1998 Feb 24	Ancestral vestiges of tambourine	Show me not your golden purse,
	2003 Aug 8	And And And Whimpering	"It was so kind of you to come!
	2003 Jul 28	And Now Hard Skirts	My love's inclined to wear a hat
	2003 Aug 25	And Then the Next Animal	Ferdinand the Porcupine was quite a prickly fellow
	2000 Mar 20	Angels, Whenever You Cough	Instruction none of us are free
	2003 Jul 18	Animals (Oz)	If I ever had a platypus
	2002 Sep 20	Anniversary Epithets (if any)	August the eighth, Oh August the eighth
	2005 Jul 22	Another Bodleian Peroration Fails	If it hadn't been for the eighteenth green
	2003 Jun 17	Another Darwin	An airworthy albatross alights atop an arch
	2002 Aug 24	Another Hairless Igloo Objects	Replace mine injured planet
	2006 Jan 26	Another Round Of Hand Puppets For Reelection	All is confirmed
	1999 May 17	Anthem of Unfinished Toenails	It's best to smile
	2000 May 24	Anti-Dandruff Cornflakes	A kangaroo I used to know
	2003 Aug 19	Antiproverbial: Aphorisms Redefined	What if one swallow does make a summer?
	2002 Feb 22	Any child can puke Beethoven's last minuet	The trouser-press is waiting for
	2003 Oct 17	Any Compound of Phosphorus	Paradigm of porters' skill
	2005 Sep 27	Any Extreme Prognostication Except	You - a loan - are the Most High!
	2003 Oct 17	Any Old Moth-Eaten Universe	This plethora of pickles
	2003 Aug 6	Anyone Who Whinges Can Go Elsewhere	MORE LIMERICKS!
	2003 Oct 24	Aperitifs to Drink When Meeting Your Maker	The mustard in my lemonade
	1997 Feb 6	Aphorisms for Unseen Swine	A kiss and a cuddle
	2003 Aug 7	Apocalypse (Soon)	A sodium glow smolders in the sky
	2003 Aug 15	Apocalyptic Rumor	I heard this rumor in class today..correct me if I'm wrong:
	1997 Apr 26	Apocope-0Reticule	In my outhouse, far from Tunis
	2003 Sep 22	Apologies To The Stovepipe Baby	You got a smile so sweet, you coulda been drip glucose
	2005 Aug 8	Apparatus For Removing Apparatus	Algorithms for the blind
	2002 May 16	Apparent Crimes	A packet of cheese defies the knife,
	2002 Dec 5	Applause for Melodious Metal	A female, young, of ill repute,
	2002 Apr 29	Apricot Britain	My ice-cream dribbled into the soft earth, as Rachel
	2002 Jan 8	Apsley's Gannet!	When standing on my pantofles
	2000 Feb 29	Apsley's Painful Direction	Arabella Spommit and her shapely cousins three
	2003 Nov 27	Arbitrary Megalomaniacs	I've been lectured again by the stockman
	2003 Aug 12	Arcade Dreams Of My Gamey Youth	Space Invaders often haunt my dreams
	2001 Jul 18	Arctic Charlie	When singing to potatoes, the cowboy always stutters;
	2000 Apr 10	Are Like	If you were an ape, what kind would you be?
	2003 Aug 31	Are You Better?	More haiku you say?
	2001 Jun 19	Are You the Last Paradigm?	In France, there is a little town
	2001 Nov 23	Areas Of Devoid	Chief among the mammals
	2000 Nov 25	Argentina Is Imaginary	Who predates this predator
	2003 Aug 5	Argument Can't	Why should I even try to convince you
	2004 Jan 26	Argument For Exceptions	A new bordello - civic, clean - is what Wisconsin needs
	2003 Nov 24	Arise, False Dawns!	Goliath in the cutlery-drawer
	1997 Jan 18	Arizona's Coptic Rime	Your fossil terrorised our clan
	2002 Feb 12	Armadeep Looked Out	In the Sudan, there lived five men
	2003 Jul 1	Armageddon Horses D'Oeuvres Changes Course	Plague and Pestilence sat down by the fire
	1998 Feb 8	Armpit Discipline	Ice carved by cold hearts,
	1998 Mar 13	Arnold, Waiting	Surely Godot should be here by now,
	2003 Aug 13	Around The You You Tree	I think that I shall never find, a poem as lovely as your behind
	2002 Mar 4	Arquebus (Chaucerian View)	Her basin full of porridge, her stockings eek of holes,
	2001 Feb 28	Arresting the Compositor	Into the cauldron of possibility
	2002 Aug 30	Artem and I	Accipiters offend her by slaying unborn lepus
	2004 Jan 22	Arthur Sucking Cough Drops	Shall I start a new poem or will it get trashed?
	2007 Jan 27	Artisans, Ninepence Or Less	In his ochre jodhpurs
	1997 Feb 17	Artless	Art serves to remind us all,
	2003 Oct 2	Arts Other Than Those I Cherish	A gerbil in a racing car
	2005 Mar 26	As Luck Would Habit	Strange transmissions - from the sun -
	2003 Oct 18	Asphalt Trumps My Ace	I like
	2004 May 27	Aspirated Eyeball, Innit?	It started with a glottal stop
	2005 Dec 12	Aspire To Life	Big fish, tiny pond
	2005 Oct 5	Associations Lend Their Chevrons	Criticism - from the ranks -
	2006 Jan 25	At Equal Intervals	The other day (or was it night?)
***	1998 Jul 20	At First Simply Guessing	There was a young lady fron Dar-es-Salaam
	2002 Jun 27	At the Leg-warming Market	Statistically speaking, the cow
	2004 Jan 13	Athens Whose Ruins	What venom lies behind the name
	1999 Jun 29	Atmos the Ferric	Tick Tock...Boing!
	2004 Jan 9	Attempted Assassination During Evensong	Rather than conferring shame
	2006 Apr 26	Attempts At Ironic Posturing	My bunny lies over the ocean
	2001 Dec 30	Attempts To Separate Meniscus from Surface	Our lady of Sligo
	2004 Apr 1	Attention: Recurring Decimal	Poor Jones got hanged - and yet I know 'twas
	2004 May 28	Attraction Determined By Inquest	He took her down a leafy lane
	2003 Jan 29	Autocratic Penitent	Sailing down the seventh stream
	2003 Aug 11	Autumn, Aimless, Now Upon Us	Haiku with me please
	2003 Sep 4	Avoid Big Pies	I once knew a Heywood Jablome
	2003 Oct 20	Avoid Our Stranded Cactus	Dreaming of a potted snipe
	2004 Jan 3	Avoid The Dossier	This page is discontinued
	2003 Nov 21	Avoidance Of Outrageous Aphorisms	There was an old man, Mr. Tucker
	2003 Aug 4	Await the Perilous	Remember, if you feel the urge to speak
	2003 Jun 21	Awakening the Aluminum Jetsam	A paper, a line, a bubble, a tin
	2004 Mar 12	Away Game Voyeurism	People are bloody ignorant apes!
	2000 May 17	Awkwardnesses Committed Unknowingly By Archangels On Speed	My mind's eye, all in sepia
	2000 Jul 27	B-Flat Tonsils	Down in New York City is a craze that's hit the streets
	2005 Jan 15	Backstabbing So-called Chums	I'll never again, see my ex-pal Len
	2000 Apr 12	Bacon Vortex	I woke to find the world undone
	2004 Jun 3	Bailiff Only Because	Beyond the reach of kettle-leads
	2004 Mar 5	Balderdash Brevity	Here's an ode to hogwash - to tripe and pure baloney
	2003 Aug 6	Ballad of Vermillion Dances	Could I borrow just a minute of your time?
	2004 Jan 30	Balletic Tropism	The crutch on which you make your way
	2001 Nov 5	Balsamic Bus	From Russell Square to Holborn
	2004 Feb 10	Baltic Bang	Do not go gently into that goodnight
	1999 Sep 28	Banana Wapentakes	How hairy is my nose, do you suppose?
	2000 Jun 1	Bangles in Temptation	As the bland computer whines
	2004 May 29	Banished From Man's Ears	To cudgel, to cajole
	2000 Jan 14	Barbecue Sores	Folded like a deck-chair
	2004 Jan 30	Baroness Buttercup	Oh, innocents, listen in time
	2001 Oct 31	Bartók's Drawing-Room	In a dream, I bit off my boss's leg
	2003 Dec 9	Bashful Statements Of Statehood	The denizens of Alabama
	1997 Apr 15	Bathroom Psychodrama	Pale in her Siamese twin-set
	2003 Aug 4	Batman and Gawain (The Quest)	Now, hearken, I'll tell you the tale
	2004 Apr 26	Bayonets Programmed To Twirl	Scarcely welcome though she was
	2003 Sep 21	Beaming Constipation	You can choose to conform, you can choose to rebel
	2004 Apr 15	Beard Recognitions	Friends reunited
	2004 Jan 24	Beaten Fluffy	I took my bitch to get her shaved on Park Lane yesterday
	2003 Sep 20	Beatles Stew	When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top
	2002 Sep 24	Because Bane Barks	Outside the gates of Norwich
	2000 Mar 15	Because Foam Canisters Iridesce	She cries, that's all she ever does
	2004 Mar 16	Because I Am Seesawing	"Why do you carry hamsters in your pockets?" demanded Mrs. Pringle
	2002 Dec 24	Because I've Died Peacefully Enough	A pint of Scruttock's in my hand
	2003 Aug 12	Because the Orchestral Are Orchestral	Flutes are mainly known by their ability
	2002 Jan 16	Beckettt's Crispy Pacific Noodles	'The stratosphere is not so near,'
	1998 Jun 30	Bedazzled by Our Daphne's Pebbledash	Flying at thirty-eight times the speed of sound
	2003 Aug 20	Bedevil The Faithful	What's that in your pants? Is it something to eat?
	2003 Aug 25	Beep List	List of Chores
	2004 Jul 19	Beep Road	My dear, have you lost your panache?
	2003 Sep 7	Beer Gods	Thou still unopen'd flask of liquor,
	2000 Nov 3	Bees Hover Like Bees	Never, in the field behind the gasworks
	2003 Aug 7	Bees' Buttocks	Whirring dials and blinking lights
	2004 Mar 22	Before Cows Were Chic	They say you're no good
	2007 Mar 1	Before More Nuns Knew Lisaveta Pilchard	Tirades against The Steady State
	2005 Apr 28	Before She Uttered	hiiiiiiiii
	2003 Aug 15	Begging for Wink	Every letter I have sent you
	2002 Apr 24	Begone! Said The League of Ostriches	When first I woke upon this day,
	2002 Aug 6	Behind Beelzebub's Backyard	'Make mine mink,' said the Minotaur
	2001 Dec 23	Behind Bermondsey Bridge	Butterfingers Battersea
	1998 Jul 21	Behind Every Grimacing Badger...	Kropotkin claimed that all he saw
	2001 Dec 12	Behold Our Anglican Remainders	Chief among the mammals
	2003 Aug 25	Belief Now!	For all of you that don't believe in unicorns
	2004 Jul 9	Believe What You Will But Doubt Nothing Excepting Yourself	Little boys with little toys
	2003 Aug 11	Bells, Time Of	The bells of contrariness
	2003 Jul 18	Bemused	How blithely do the crackerjacks
	1999 Oct 23	Beneath the Dismembering Sky	When Ethelred beheld the axolotl
	1998 May 9	Benedict the Monstrous Toadstool	Behind each King or potentate
	2004 Jan 24	Benedictine Evening Dresses	Poetic mis'ry in a name?
	2002 Jan 14	Benign Impostures	This egg, which sank in mercury,
	2002 Dec 2	Bereft Between Widows	My love is like a red, red snapper
	2005 Mar 28	Bertrand Of Nimes In Anguish	Halitosis hit me as he cut my hair
	2002 Jul 18	Beside the Derelict Hat-stand	When Granny comes for tea and cake
	2003 Jun 16	Bespoke Chutney for Biggles	Smooth eucalyptus, resinous aura
	2004 Jan 4	Betokening Bitterness	Love, shmov--I'm jaded now
	2004 May 13	Better Lettuce Forthcoming	As the orders start to dry
	1998 Aug 10	Beyond Anatomical Possibilities	If, halfway down the basement stairs,
	2000 Nov 12	Beyond Any Logic	In autumn-time, a small spittoon
	2003 Jan 25	Beyond Bursting-Point	I walk a mile each day before my tea
	2004 Mar 12	Beyond Her Final Finery	Mow the news is out
	1998 Mar 31	Beyond Homespun	'It is with most intense regret
	2006 Jun 25	Beyond The Twelfth Night Service Desk	The faded lilies by the wall
	2004 Aug 20	Biblical Sheep-dip Nonsense	No more strumpets,
	2003 Dec 11	Biblical Soundbites	The Tower of Babel, good sir
***	2000 Jan 30	Big Custard	Warm in nutritious mulch, we germinate,
	2000 Feb 12	Big Man Devours Helicopter's Emptiness	I made a little omelette with a single serpent's egg
	2002 Dec 12	Big Orchids In Dead Marriage	My dove, Suzette, she lays in wait
	2002 May 1	Big, Dangerous Camel	A feather riding high upon a wave of breeze
	2003 Aug 11	Billboards, Numbers, and the Signs for Heaven	There once was a poet of note
	1999 Nov 16	Billericay notwithstanding ...	Thus it remains, and the remainder thus
	2001 Apr 24	Billiards, or Might My Love Be Undying?	Bianca grabbed me by the throat, and said I was a little stoat:
	2003 Jul 20	Bingled	While surfing on the web one day
	2000 Feb 15	Binyon County: The Defective Kite	Who remembers me, Lieutenant Aubergine?
	2001 Aug 13	Biography	Helena was born in a pub
	2003 Nov 9	Bird Authors' Noble Claims	This poem was written by Walter Raleigh
	2001 Feb 3	Birds - So?	Those onomatopoeic words
	2000 Aug 14	Birthdays Passed Without Mints	August presence or August presents, what will be thy choice?
	2003 Dec 10	Biscuitry In Clean Sheets	Mine was only mortar
	2005 Jul 27	Bismuth Bill Again	Incursions 4, Evasions 5
	2004 Sep 8	Bite-sized Granules Of Compassionate Crunchiness	I think she may be going mad
	2004 Jun 27	Blackbird Singing With Bluebeard	With 'action' just another word
	1999 Mar 8	Blamirog's Prophetic Landfall	Blamirog was wondering about the Blessed Isle
	2003 Oct 14	Blamobilog's Last Return	A vessel most unfit for sea
	2003 Aug 18	Blasted Poets	102 poems in just over a week - do none of you sleep? I'm ready to weep
	2004 Jan 20	Bleak Housing	Ten to a bed, the children slept
	1999 Feb 11	Blemishes	I never saw a clean sweep
	2004 Jul 29	Bless This Horse With Greatness	The Gryphon, on his rival page
	2003 Sep 24	Blessed are the Circular	Blessed are the spoonbillers
	1999 Oct 11	Blessed, Blessed, this Momenteum of the Morning	I told him that he shouldn't hoard the family's only Oiuja board
	2003 Nov 24	Blessings Aplenty For Apsley	God speed to you, fair travellers all
	2005 May 3	Blimey, Guv	Dear, pour me out a single cup of tea,
	1998 Sep 29	Bliss on Cusp	He met her in a French cafe...
	2003 Nov 25	Bloodthirsty Tales And Unseen Lemons	I feel I must indulge in certain vices
	2004 Sep 4	Blossom On Most Wintry Afternoons	How blistering your prose, how Jovian your style
	1996 Nov 12	Blow-torch Conquests	Neither of the archetypes was very much in vogue
	2002 Nov 27	Bluebells for Another Day	Behold the poet, in her shack!
	2003 Nov 23	Boating Pleasures	We went to sea in a gravy boat one gray autumnal day
	2003 Jul 18	Bodies	Her nipples were quite octagonal
	2003 Dec 5	Bondage Followed Swiftly By Kickings	One misty, moisty morning, when cloudy was the weather
	2003 Dec 5	Boohoo Hoodoo	How sad that ode was ended--and why I want to know?
	2004 Aug 27	Boot Cramp Without Due Cause	Be loyal to your captain, soldier: he was once a man like you
	2004 Jan 23	Bootblack Hatrack Knickknack	There are so many words that rhyme with "whack":
	2003 Jul 24	Boots of Silly Leather	Silly Sally from the valley liked to dilly dally
	2006 Feb 10	Boots Were Made Before Souls	A basement, and a base intrigue
	2004 Feb 4	Borders For Uncle Monk	'Quite a clump,' he summarised
	2003 Sep 26	Bored Magnolia	What kind of tree would you most like to be?
	2005 Jan 16	Boredom City	Sherbert, not Opopanax
	1998 Feb 17	Borrowing Twilight	Come, Luggage! There's a curious world I'm longing to explore
	2000 Mar 16	Bosworth: An Ode	When cuttlefishes congregate
	1999 Dec 16	Bothering Without Etiquette	Give me back my luncheon-meat!
	1999 Nov 26	Bottle Up	Spoons are the one thing God forgot
	2000 Feb 8	Bottomless Yachting	A plethora of penguins is rarely to be found
	2003 Dec 13	Boutiques Full Of Festive Knick-knacks	Greensleeves and wassail, angels galore
	2003 Oct 1	Bowling Nearby Stones	Stepping through a wall of mirrors
	2000 Jun 14	Bragging About Semi-colons	If only
	1999 Jan 7	Brain Pump Outlet	Louder than a hill of cheese
	2006 Mar 30	Bread-van Impasse	Reptilinear
	1997 Dec 9	Breakfasting Traditionally	An arbitrary asp might say,
	2003 Nov 26	Breaking The Law Of Thermodynamics	I know the Spoonbill secret
	2003 Sep 7	Brian is There	There was a young maiden from Nome
	2003 Jul 30	Brian's Life of Impostion	Hierarchs with open mouths
	2000 Nov 6	Bribes Inspire Returning MPs to Define Themselves as Caterpillars	Costorphine was a Cuttlefish
	2003 Jul 24	Brie Tabula	The page is blank
	2003 Jul 18	Brief Glimpses of Aqua Nova	While cycling through the clouds one day
	2004 Apr 14	Brief Lives Last Sunday	People from Purley like getting up early
	2004 Apr 24	Brigade Of Billabongs	In conclusion, Speckled Jim
	2002 Nov 21	Britney's in Purdah	When poets strive against the muse
	2003 Mar 20	Broken SmARTISTS	It be not hard to speaketh like the Bard
	2003 Aug 25	Brooding Night	The night is a ladyOf no uncertain temperament
	2001 Jan 8	Brothers in Canberra	The kangaroos are at the aquarium?
	2001 Sep 6	Browsing Police	When to the summons I brought my fist
	2001 Dec 19	Brute Pesto Lollipop (Intolerance)	The gate is torn asunder there
	2003 Sep 20	Bubblegum and Scrabble	Lollipops and bubblegum, jujubes and dots
	1998 Mar 23	Buns	Andante, my love, for we've hours a-plenty
	2004 Aug 9	Buns Beyond Sunset	Breathlessly, you claim to be
	1999 Nov 18	Bunuel, Masterly Engineer	I skipped among the parsley beds
	2004 Apr 2	Bureaucracy Marks The Pedestrians	If filling in forms engenders dismay, tick box 'A'
	2003 Nov 21	Burns With Mayflowers Downstream	My love is like a red, red nose
	2003 Aug 20	Bus Baby Boop	I went down to the bus station to meet my baby
	2004 Apr 15	Businessman In Loose Flannels	Watch out for my claim
	2000 May 7	Businessmen Halting Overhead	Give me some glue in pot coloured blue
	2003 Aug 22	But a Pizza Means the End of Thunderstorms	MORE GOOFY HAIKUS
	1997 Dec 12	But Actually...	Although you're tall, and gifted
	2003 Aug 23	But For a Novice	Matilda tolled the churchyard bell
	2003 Jul 24	But for the Headaches	You may think that it's time for a rhyme
	2004 Sep 19	But For Us And Them	Call me a quack
	2000 Jun 26	Butcher's Lament On Nothing	What sort of dog is this? I hear you ask
	2003 Sep 9	Butter Belly Fanclub	Neglecting the home repairs I couldn't do last winter
	2002 Sep 28	By Any Drowned Pavilion	Guacamole, whose brindled haunch
	2002 Mar 25	Cacophonic, Electric, Adamant	'Craddock's Cat Biscuits are finer by far!', the radio blared
	2003 Jul 22	Cactus Ants	Ants are smart, oh they're smart, oh they think they're so smart
	2002 Nov 27	Cactus Mothering	The lawn was laid
	2002 Apr 11	Caesar and the Suprise Chicken	When no Esquimau obtains
	2003 Aug 18	Calculating Between	The calculator is calculating its own lifespan
	2001 Oct 23	Calf-Length Flight-Bone Prospects	Gilded by an autumn sun
***	2004 May 18	Calling For A Funicular Tramway Service	While strutting through the quicksand
	2003 Sep 26	Camelot - an Ongoing Investigation	Long, long ago, in Camelot
	2004 Aug 31	Campaigns Begin Like Bladders	The politican declaimed and avowed
	2006 Sep 2	Can Chewing	To sit with you at sunrise
	1997 Sep 8	Can poignant rubbish be reliable?	This is the way the lady rides
	2004 Apr 2	Canine Bearing	Despite this aberration, sir
	1999 Apr 20	Canterbury Nemesis	Petulant pilgrims don't like to eat rope
	2001 Dec 18	Cap in Handsworth	The Crossbow, famed in Chinese tales
	2003 Oct 4	Captain Correction	The sky is blue and so are you
	2003 Nov 16	Captain Of My Land	Happy ever after? Well, at least until that day
	2001 Feb 27	Captain Scott's Implosion	At dawn we slew another pig
	2003 Jun 24	Car with Contrast Fetish	When young and old, the old and new
	2005 Sep 21	Caramel Christmas	In this wise, the King of Thebes
	1998 Mar 15	Caramel Cribbage-Board	Keeping pace on cobbled lanes,
	2003 Jun 17	Caramelised Jamboree Bags	Bedevilled by mosquitoes
	2004 May 7	Carbohydrate Counts Against Each Mouthful	The problem of a bee city
	1997 Jun 9	Carbon Pump City	The never-ending cycle of the wars 'twixt good and ill
	2003 Dec 9	Carbuncle City From My Window	Erotic gherkin, looming in the dusk
	2004 Oct 12	Cardigan Wildlife Artists	When chatty foils reappear
	2004 Mar 25	Cardinal In Error	A pepperoni sandwich from the Pope
	2003 Apr 17	Carefulness Begets Sincerity	A poem's frail corpse is like a tree
	1998 Oct 24	Caroline Rembrandt Remembered Backwards	Buckets of mud and acres of slime are all that I need
	2002 Aug 7	Carp of a Thousand Drums	Exactly how surreal do you fish?
	2004 Aug 26	Carry No Weightlifters Aloft	When shopping for a pachyderm
	2001 Sep 24	Cartwright's Innocence Unleashed	Along the mute canal
	2003 Sep 13	Cash Elegy	Let us praise a country maestro: Johnny Cash
	2003 Aug 15	Cash Me	How dear of you to send me cash
	2004 Feb 3	Caspar Caged	A puma won't return the gaze of Rilke
	2002 Dec 31	CaTacLySm	i SPEAK in CAPITALS quasi-random
	2004 May 29	Cautionary Tales For Young Hotshots	How many times must I tell you?
	2000 May 30	Cautiously Urging, Redundantly Purging	If my ardour flickers
	2003 Sep 21	Ceaseless Efforts Conquer	I have not the courage to conquer life
	2002 Oct 29	Cedric the Waitress	A notorious threnody pleases
	1999 Jun 5	Celibate Coinage in Whitechapel Lane	Poem composition is a task the world adores
	2000 Jan 18	Cement Listlessly Poured Upon An Impostor	When Thoth was King of Bermondsey
	1999 Mar 20	Cessations in Cocktail-Waitressing	Catastrophe has happened on a scale that Pride forbids
	2006 Mar 6	Chance Coupling Without The Responsibility	Massive friction, from her waist,
	2004 Aug 30	Channel The Avuncular	My Uncle says, "The weasel never sings."
	2002 Oct 10	Chaos Theory Disproved	Carp for breakfast, hake for tea:
	2005 Sep 19	Charity Enough For Now	Action is as action does
	2004 Sep 10	Cheery Thoughts About Society	Biting on a leaden shell, I contemplate my doom
	2002 Aug 2	Cheese Isn't For Funny Ladies	Penumbral vision
	2004 Jan 25	Cheese Pistons Of All Ages	What is this evil in our midst?
	1998 Jul 4	Cheeseboard Dusk	The Books of Heaven opened, the pages to their destinations flying!
	2003 Oct 7	Cheesecake Factory Tour	Cheer up, here's Mister Milk
	1999 Jan 5	Cherubic Implant in My Succubus	Lazy day, bowl o' porridge before me
	2004 Apr 19	Chesse-topped Minstrels	This diversion - to the moon! -
	2003 Sep 1	Chipping Proverbs	A French kiss from the Blarney Stone
	2004 Jun 21	Chirping By Other Means	Yeast admixed with poisoned brine
	2002 Dec 15	Chocolate Elvis During Sessions	Oh! My sombrero is the finest,
	2003 Sep 6	Christmas Eggs (Sorry)	The lesser spotted Spoonbill
	2003 Jul 9	Chronic Sparrows of Pathology	Anthrax! Anthrax! cried Frau Schmetterling
	2002 Nov 27	Chutney Feathers	Without my knife and apron,
	1997 Jan 3	Chutney, the Ragtime Crab	I sighed for the feel of formica
	2004 May 24	Circus Accountants	Dreary, dreary dogs
	2003 Jul 1	Cities	In Seville, bitter oranges grow ripe in the sun
***	2002 Nov 15	Civic Pyjamas Akimbo	While editing the alphabet
	2004 Feb 22	Clandestine Openings Like That	Meet me in the arboretum
	2003 Nov 25	Classes Unusual In School Environs	'Mediæval frolics in the gym?', the porter queried,
	1999 Dec 16	Claudius Jointless, Claudius Pointless	The other day I found a paper clip
	2003 Aug 3	Cleaning the Little Weasels	Where have all the guppies gone?
	2003 Nov 28	Clerihews Are More Fun Than Sex	Charles, the Prince of Wales
	2006 May 15	Cliches But No Answer	If brevity's the soul of wit,
	2004 Jan 6	Clichés Usually Reserved For Sensitive Souls	The winter sun broke through the trees, to shine upon the meadow
	2003 Aug 14	Clique That Promises Exploitation	Candidates Promises
	2006 Jan 4	Clockwork Catechism	You say 'tornado'
	2001 Nov 8	Clothes Pegs	For a man of the cloth
	2000 Jan 13	Cloudier Mystery	Gad-about Gertrude, there she gapes
	1999 Jan 5	Clouds In Angelic Underclothing	Swing down sweet cherubs and lie with me
	2004 Oct 22	Clucking Behind The Bicycle Sheds	Charlie the cheerful chicken
	2007 Feb 15	Clumps and Wisps	Orthodontists wrecked my life
	1997 Nov 28	Clustering (Algorithm Played on a Gumby)	Between the barns, half-buried
	2003 Nov 10	Cluttered Nemesis	Clutch as clutch can
	1998 Nov 23	Coat-Hanger Equity	Scorn these still-born architects
	2004 Jan 3	Cocker Mouthwash	A pot of glue left me unstuck
	2003 Aug 7	Cocksure	There's halfcock and moorcock
	2003 Aug 15	Cocksure Wills	I dare the wind to blow contrary to my whim
	2003 Oct 7	Coffee On My Yardstick	Coffee grounds in the sink, the drain webbed with hair
	2003 Dec 4	Cogito Ergo Pogo	Ergonomic chairs and beds are presently on sale
	2003 Sep 17	Cold Boff in Freedom	However shall the cold night envade,
	1999 Mar 1	Colditz Rhythm	Hellespont and Hecuba were walking down the street
	2004 Mar 19	Collaborating, Supposedly	To polevault, or to stay in bed?
	2003 Jul 19	Collaboration Is Not Essential	The men and women came, from far across the land
	2003 Dec 1	Collisions	Listen, my children, and you shall hear
	2002 May 15	Colonels Crooning to Their Dowagers	To bridge the gap 'twixt man and machine
	2003 Jul 18	Colours	Red, green, purple, brown
	2003 Nov 11	Coma Compasses	A new indictment for the meek
	2003 Jul 22	Comeuppance to Astroturf	I always knew that I'd be back
	2003 Jan 12	Commentary Arising From My Previous Uncials	Another riposte
	2004 Oct 17	Compensation By Degrees	Strange transmissions, Norah says,
	2006 Jun 14	Complicated Whimper	When cloning pigs or kangaroos
	2004 Feb 17	Composers In The Ground	Just say "Baroque" and choral hymns
	2002 Jun 30	Compromises	I ponder what I dare not do,
	2004 Aug 27	Compulsive Fondling By Men Of Gentility	She checked its lock a dozen times
	2004 Feb 5	Concealed In Plain Leather	Of all the nights I've spent abroad
	2001 Apr 20	Conception By Maidens (Anchovie's Verses)	How long will you be up there?
	2006 Jun 13	Concerto For Nobody And Drum	When the new one comes out
	2002 Oct 1	Conference for Solo Banjo	I sent a parcel trhough the post?
	2003 Jul 22	Confessions, Truly	To dear Mrs Hoopledon, I hope you're feeling better
***	1998 May 30	Confusion Excuses This Apparently Plotless Fiasco	The night this narrative began
	1998 Jan 30	Conical Catharsis	A parent who neglects the tasks
	2001 Mar 25	Conquer the Bandits of Love!	Remembrance is a form of rhubarb
	2003 Sep 29	Consciousness for Peptides	What will they think of next, those clever clever men
	2003 Nov 12	Consequences	There once was a curious cat
	2003 Jun 23	Considering Its Woodpigeons	Dial 'Clockwork' for disturbance
	2003 Sep 30	Contactual Precautions and Unbecoming Curses	You must, when adding cream to recipes
	2003 Aug 28	Contemplate the Stuff	Let the sun shine in! Or let it rain.
	2004 Jan 14	Contempt For Moustaches	When nightfall arrives with a purplish glow
	1999 Jan 28	Continental Head	Time and again I'm obliged to remark
	2003 Jul 17	Contrary Mutant	So here begins a brand new tale
	2003 Feb 7	Control of Our Feet in Darkness	Moonlight softened the angry lines
	2001 Oct 12	Conversely	Today, when none was ever born
	2003 Oct 22	Cooper's Atomic Dogmeal	Inside this barrel - don't you know? -
	1999 Nov 17	Corking the Windswept Wolves	When I consider ............ no, I can't go on
	2000 Mar 3	Corporeal Longings: The Carrot Stick Of Appearances	The sun sinks slowly into the sea, or so it seems.
	2003 Jul 17	Cosmos Twirls	Your new line will go here
	1996 Nov 1	Cost-effective Starlight	There is room for two legs in my trousers
	2003 Sep 18	Courage, John!	Ray Harryhausen, in the days before attaining fame,
	2000 Jun 8	Courtly Like The Dancing Cobra	My brides lined up in order
	2003 Aug 14	Cow Ending	You do not moo, you do not moo
	2004 Aug 13	Crabbily Dressed For Dancing Partners	To scuttle through the shallows with my claws stretched wide
	2006 Aug 3	Craig Levy, Moorhen	Now if six turned out to be nine
	2003 Jun 5	Creases Rectified by Art	Steeped in the grime of ages
	2004 Oct 5	Credible Safe Kill Factor	Virus warfare for our times
	2003 Aug 12	Cremated For Bystanders	Alan Aardvark ate apples
	1999 Feb 8	Crepuscular Creation	I was excreted through a pore
	2003 Sep 4	Crewcuts And Clangers	Gus Grissom ... wasn't he the one
	2006 Aug 31	Cried The Idyll	Be not so blue, my dainty dove,
	2002 May 8	Criminals in Poltics	The Captain rode to Hampton Court
	2004 Sep 28	Criterion For Studiousness In Death	It was a very shambles
	2005 Jul 8	Crop Circling Gear	To view this page as Scratch'n'Sniff
	2003 Apr 30	Cross-talk Knavery	By way of insulation
	2003 Sep 5	Cruella Knew Every Hamster	I once knew a shipless Magellan
	2005 Sep 3	Crustaceans In Error	To wait upon the late express
	1997 Jun 28	Cry the Narcotic Laundry	I dreamed a quaint equation
	2004 Feb 19	Crybaby Number Nine (1967)	The lonely hearts in Sgt. Pepper's Band
	2002 Jan 31	Crying Again	Don't give me your usual whinge!
	1999 Feb 21	Crystal All Along	Dying in Luxor with the Spoonbill chill
	2005 Nov 13	Cufflinks Fascinate Nobody Except Rasputin	Gone from here, by twenty leagues,
	2004 Sep 7	Culinary Experts Seldom Agree	Add some resin to the pulp, and deftly stir:
	2001 Oct 5	Culling Ear-Trumpets by the Ganges	When Nylon paves the way for silk
	2000 Oct 30	Cullington's Theorem	There, dancing on my cranium
	2003 Nov 10	Cult Irregularities	The Underbelly Cult
	2005 Mar 31	Cultural Divides	I watched a ritual of the Baluchistanis;
	2003 Sep 3	Cummerbunds Will Fall (2004)	Predictions for the Coming Year
	2003 Aug 27	Cupcakes For Jesus	So many Herberts with which to contend
	2003 Sep 10	Curse Me, Fungus!	The Eskimo, my paramour
	2005 Feb 28	Custard Pied Wagtail	Gurgling free
	2004 Mar 18	Custom Paintwork Jobs	Good citizens, attend this moral tale
	2004 Jun 24	Cutlery At Noon	Silent in the dinner-queue
	2001 Nov 5	Cutlery Tissues	Is it a bug or a feature?
	2002 May 8	Cuttlebone Sandwiches	Giants, in their tiny way,
	1999 Jan 11	Cyber-Pogrom	Give me a goat and a piece of old rope and I walk right along to the fair
	2005 Jan 4	Cycling Behind The Traces	Coded in the final hour
	2001 Sep 28	Dagenham Cakeshop	Tie me to the lamp-post with a silken thread
	2007 Mar 16	Daily Porkish	Pork, to sample - on a spoon
	2002 Oct 29	Dali's Baby Next Time	The vandal! I dread
	2001 Jun 6	Dali's Uncle's Duckpond of Filth	In an old ball of string
	2003 Oct 7	Dancing JCB	Let's build a mountain
	2000 Feb 13	Dancing Peculiar	My dear Professor, listen
	2003 Oct 9	Dancing the Inevitable	Why must you dance the lambada?
	2003 Jul 20	Dangerous Dancing Sensations	Who goes there? I hear your steps
	2004 Feb 13	Dangerously We Fly	"What is your destination, child?
	2004 Jul 2	Danish Polka	Bruno's head, a perfect sphere
	2002 Jul 26	Dark of Wanton	Know how the filbert leaps
	2003 Oct 16	Darling Little Orphans	When Uncle Roland came to stay
	2004 Jul 29	Dating Twilight Gals	Pogonophores and Dubliners
	2001 Sep 22	Daydream	Particularly pleasing was the scent of new-cropped straw
	2003 Aug 14	Dead Sticks	Sticks and stones may break my bones
	2003 Mar 7	Dead, Undone, Unmeasured	Naked, dripping, loins all soap and tension, I rise from the bath
	2004 Jun 24	Deaf Though They Be Dubbed	Behold the spineless fossil
	2006 Jun 27	Death Again	This mausoleum, filled with Zinc,
	2003 Oct 19	Death is What the Cliché Will	Violets are blue
	2003 Jul 18	Death, Shrug Off the Useless Punctuation	Cholera, my only friend
***	1999 Aug 17	Deathrow Welshmen Sometimes Tick	Has time stopped?
	2005 Jan 16	Deatiny Shaped By Simpletons	State of action: quite inert
	2003 Nov 8	Debauchery, Alcohol, And Nothing Left	There appears to be much merriment tonight
	2006 Feb 25	Decorated With Hasty Stitches	Not another nugget
	2003 Oct 13	Deep-Fried Nostalgia	Up your nose with a rubber hose
	2002 Nov 12	Defeated by Professors of Usurpation	One escalator, one canoe:
	2004 Jul 1	Defenestrating Our Noisome Entertainers	Beckham, Rooney, Owen and Scholes
	2002 Feb 5	Defy the Hoariest Blanket	Savage is as savage does
	2001 Sep 3	Delirium's Retchings	The rapid history becomes a page unturned
	2003 Oct 27	Delusions are my Family	I love you because
	2006 Sep 20	Demanding Chocolate Money Back	While others stand empty
	2003 Aug 5	Denied Dreams	The long body-swept grass
	2001 Sep 12	Dense, Dense, Dense, Dense	Celebrate good times?
	2004 Oct 25	Departures In Disarray	Sophistry, for those who wait,
	2000 Dec 19	Deserts East of Harwich	Living in a dream
	2007 Feb 18	Desire It	Whatever we choose
	2004 May 28	Desist, Whoreson Knave, Lest Great Cudgellings Befall Thee	To count the rings of Saturn
	2005 Apr 21	Despatched Again	I have a little creature
	2005 Feb 11	Desperate Kippers	Just a tingling kind of pain
	2004 Jan 20	Despite Differences In Our Neckties	Judicious pruning - of a bush -
	2004 Jan 7	Despite Themselves	Captain Mesmer brought me 'round
	2003 Dec 8	Destiny In Pounds	Excuse me, darling, have you put on some weight?
	2004 Feb 4	Destiny For My King Of Hastings	One day, while I was walking
	2002 Apr 18	Detonated Milk-bottle	Disorder met confusion
	2005 Sep 1	Detonating Error	A small explosion
	2004 Jan 8	Devoured By Trousers	Shut tight as a clam, not to be pried by any mere woman
	1997 May 29	Devout Epic On A Tiresome Champion	How ponderous, how ponderous
	2002 Jan 17	Dewdrop Whack, Martini Later...	The blancmange spoke, in rhyming couplets,
	1997 Jan 31	Diagnostic Encomium	Oh! How I hate his leaking bladder!
	2002 Jan 8	Diaspora With Noodles	Now is the time for Algood men
	2004 Sep 2	Dice In The Ovens Of Rheims	The early bird, that gets the lion's share
	2004 Dec 14	Dickens Saith	"A pox upon thee, wretched cur!"
	2003 Nov 15	Dictionary, You Mean	Poetry: in voice, a first!
	2003 Aug 5	Diesel Pass	When you see me, pass me by
	2003 Sep 26	Difficult Times	Versify where you are able
	2004 Mar 3	Diffused By Brilliant Clouds	I wandered lonely as a nerd
	2003 Jul 23	Dig it, Bonobos	Fried mice and ferret stew
	2002 Nov 27	Digging Around The Graveyard	For once a poem with no drawn-out themes
***	2003 Oct 20	Dignity for Sixty Six Possible Consonants	'Twas on the 8th of August that the taxman came to call
	2003 Aug 26	Dimmer Switch Haikus	Compounded, as an alloy
	2003 Oct 15	Disaster and Cheek	'This watch you sold me for a pig -
	2003 Nov 3	Disaster Contest	Archaic persons, flummoxed
	2004 Jul 19	Disco Infernal	Annie Lennox drove my car
	2007 Mar 6	Discovered in Ramsey	String in pieces, string combined,
***	2000 Mar 20	Discredited in Birmingham	Your bland mosaics, weak and pale
	2003 Oct 19	Disease Me	When one would look into your eye
	2003 Nov 23	Disembodied Stuff	Dispense with this vulgarity!
	2003 Sep 25	Disoriented	And now I leave this lunchtime land
	2003 Aug 19	Disregard	Oh how I loathe thee, let me count the ways
	2004 Aug 11	Distant Fashion	The tram that passed the Opera
	2006 Jun 22	Distressing	Basingstoke is mentioned in Henry 4 Part 2
	2001 Oct 16	Disused Mouse	Teal creeps
	2003 Aug 11	Do Bubba Nano	Jazz, pizzazz, and razzmatazz
	2002 Dec 9	Documentary Highlight	In the depths of Epping town
	2003 Nov 29	Dodgy Flaps	Too gracious for a moonlight flit
	2003 Nov 12	Does Anybody Else Think That We Aren't Seeing Much?	The paupers, intimiate with secrets of the court,
	2003 Jul 30	Dog Life Dance	There once was a dog named Mollie
	2005 Feb 28	Dog-biscuit Dunking	I paid for all this road myself
	2000 Mar 29	Doglike Doings	I remember Folkestone in December
	2000 Jan 4	Dome Settling Dimly	A thousand years and each one gone
***	2004 Jul 2	Domestic Meltdown	The problem is easy to see
	2003 Aug 30	Don Prufrock, Life of Tedium	The internet crawled to a halt
	2003 Oct 23	Don't Align Me!	Before enraptured earthworms find you
	2003 Jul 23	Don't Do Never	Never tip a robot waiter
	2004 Feb 18	Doom Dealt Deftly	The djinn that made me sneeze
	2003 Aug 26	Door To Indisposable Sleep	The haiku returns
	2004 Dec 16	Doubly Formal Zebras	To hoist a somewhat smaller flag
	2005 May 4	Doughboy Graduates	Cookies and biscuits, crackers and buns
	2003 Aug 4	Dour Poetry for Fools in Love	Roses are dead
	2004 Mar 18	Doves, Couples, Quarks, Exigencies	Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you
	2003 Aug 20	Down Hallways and Corridors	Keats and Sandburg, Dickinson, Yeats
	2006 Jun 16	Dragon-tail Drunk	Going out again
	2004 Apr 15	Dragonfly With Diamonds	We who were not bound to rhyme
	2004 Jan 16	Drastic Therapy For Two	There hast never been a thing more shiny
	2000 Nov 10	Drawing-Rooms, The Only Terminus	Now my charms are all o'erthrown
	2003 Jul 18	Drawn	Irresistibly, I feel drawn
	2003 Dec 8	Drawn By The Pencils Of Night	When all the world is still and quiet
	2003 Jul 17	Dreaming	I fear I cannot hope to match
***	1997 Feb 21	Dreaming of a Swamp and the Holy River	As we starve in our secret Alaskas
	2003 Nov 12	Dreaming Of Bagels And Java	When you met me in the restaurant
	2001 Dec 11	Dreaming Our Favourite Cyclones	Wandering churchwardens, speaking in tongues
	2003 Jul 18	Dreams	How oft in wet dreams do I walk
	2004 Jul 21	Dreams Of Soup Kitchens	A mile or so beyond
	2003 Aug 4	Dreamy	He was the man of her dreams - tall, dark and Estonian
	2006 Apr 5	Dreary Days Compounded By Snowstorms	Have you seen the Nothing man,
	2004 Sep 9	Drenched In Watery Ends	Your putative queen, dear sire, has fled,
	2003 Aug 29	Dressed To Curl	Staring blankly through the glass
	2000 May 15	Drinking Electricity (Sonnet)	One sonnet is too short to tell the charms
	2005 Feb 8	Drive-By Morality	So how ya doin', Mrs. Knapp?
	2003 Sep 20	Drooling Without Dementia	An empty page is
	2006 Jul 17	Drum Dazed	The hideous spectre of her purse
	2002 Mar 22	Dubious Factory	When, in the night, I start to doubt
	2003 Nov 25	Dubious Peacenik	A walking shrub shall grace our shores
	2000 May 30	Duck Soup Stories	When Duck and Gerbil went adventuring
	2004 Oct 17	Dunciad Of Love-sick Hands	To fetishise her silhouette
	2004 Jun 2	Dunciad Variorum	'Twas Pope who wrote that angels fear
	2005 Jul 30	Duodenal Backwater	Behold a scone that I have baked!
	2007 Mar 2	Duplicitous Herrings in Identifiable Watercourses	Catechresis mumbles, in the final act,
	2002 Jul 10	During Gordon's Last Gloaming	Apostles of the menopause
	2000 Nov 25	Dustbins Spilt Diamonds	Brighter than the cabbages
	2003 Dec 2	Dyslexia Is A Condition Much Like Nay Other	A narry stight, a brentle geeze
	2003 Sep 22	Dystopia The Moose	In this city there are no angels
	2006 Apr 20	Each Circle Will Shake	Judicious combination
	2004 Jun 25	Each Dainty Ballerina And Her Imaginary Pilchard	This happy nest has made me cry
	2003 Jun 27	Each Recusrive Reader	On a moonful night, strangely bright
	2004 Jan 26	Each Syllable Concocted By Buddhists	The pulse that beats within a flea
	2004 Jul 14	Each Weary Welcoming	To redefine our clique
	2003 Aug 24	Eager Beef	A toast by any other name is but burnt bread
	2000 Dec 19	Eagles Can Never Despair	Demons of the centrifuge
	2003 Nov 25	Eardrums In The Dark Theatre	I never sensed a larger void
	2003 Sep 26	Ears for Eyelids	Sleep is coming soon
	2003 Nov 19	Ears Like Quinqueremes	Your ears are rather droopy
	1999 Jan 30	Earth Telegram	A shrew without wings
	2002 Nov 18	Earthenware Thinkers	Behold her single in the field
	2000 Sep 27	Earthly Salutes	Perhaps it was just that the Fates took a hand
	1999 Apr 9	Easter Greetings	Resurrection!
	2006 Feb 16	Eating The Accountants Until Babbage Leaves	How we wonder, how we wonder
	1997 Sep 20	Echoes Echoes, Without	By 'Custody' I do not mean
	2006 Apr 4	Echoes Of Ashes	Mississipi, come to me!
	2003 Aug 17	Effigy	Right among the maddened crows
	2004 Oct 26	Effortless Abyss	Cold crustaceans, diving deep,
	2000 Jun 29	Eggs And Artillery	The gambler folds his hand and sets his gaze
	2006 Aug 3	Eight Parrots, Seven Rogues	Hengist had the brightest sword
***	1997 Jan 19	Eldred's glum, glum spleen	The dictionary was far from green
	2002 Oct 21	Electon	'Cobblers, plain bloody cobblers', the fireman roared,
	2003 Dec 1	Electra Syndrome	Ralibut of Halibut pretended to be mad,
	2002 Mar 13	Eliot's Daily Variations	The flat sky
	2006 May 12	Elixirs Of Godknows What	I took a sip. I didn't know
	2006 Sep 1	Elizabethan Lemonade	It is said that a codpiece, selected to cover
	2004 May 25	Ellis Inland	Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light
	2000 May 16	Embezzlement	When Ogden Nash ran out of cash
	2005 Jan 16	Embonpoint Sandwiches	Globe and Jerusalem, we venerate
	2003 Sep 22	Emergency Headlessness	Emergency! Emergency!
	2003 Aug 31	Emilia And Her Tremendous Brainpower	In my cardboard cardigan
	2003 Jul 18	Empty Promises among the Symbols of the North	Ampersand, I love thee
	2003 Aug 17	End And End	Three score and ten years ago
	2004 Jan 18	End-time Octave	What time does the apocalypse start?
	1999 Feb 2	Endless Power, Our Sole Accomplishment	Inflamed with paranoia
	2000 May 8	Endlessly Transitory	When my Doppelganger calls
	2006 Jan 11	Enduring Without Succor	If fish could scream
	2003 Dec 1	English Literature Code	Rhyming isn't everything, and scansion's overrated
	2003 Nov 20	Enigma Who Will Someday Prove Secret	Why do you stare, do you think that I care?
	2005 Jul 4	Enough Bagels Disavowed	In spite of all your after-shave
	2003 Jul 17	Enough Is	Here, there and everywhere
	2003 Oct 21	Enough Of Death	Sharp as a razor my misericordia
	2005 Jan 26	Enough Said: The Undershirts Finally Arrived	Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN!
	2005 Apr 19	Enough To Warrant Onions	In praise of whelks, I roam the moors:
	2001 Nov 15	Entropy Without Harlots	Interlinear is the best
	2004 Nov 18	Envious Neighbors	They say that those who live their lives
	2003 Jun 26	Epic Gorgonzola Quest	In China, once, an Emperor
	2004 Sep 17	Epic Oration Looms To Starboard	In time to come, rememb'rance of this hour
	2003 Aug 2	Epistle upon the Ancient Streams	Sir:
	2002 Nov 12	Epitaph for an Asymmetrical Arrrangement of Bears	Tie them to the bowsprit? With a scratched CD?
	1998 Sep 19	Epitaph for the Ninth Night Shift	A snowman, weaned on Castor Oil
	2006 Aug 1	Equator Blown Over	I never met my sister till I was twenty-three
	2000 Oct 11	Equator Protest	Teach history slowly
	2003 Jun 30	Erie Canal	The creek oozes down through the dimwitted wood
	2002 Oct 5	Erupting Like Flamingoes	Gone, the subtle;
	2007 Feb 5	Escapades That Truncate Themselves	As with gladness men of old
	2003 Sep 4	Escape Attempts	There once was a Cornishman, Lee,
	2002 Sep 29	Escstatic, Dogmatic	She declared herself democratic,
	2000 May 15	Essay - Let's Not	It's a terrible start to a poem
	2004 Aug 24	Estonian Homonyms	This encroachment, on my lawn,
	2006 Mar 29	Ethereal Sequence	Ether, real
	2003 Dec 9	Etiquette Toward Farm Animals	When addressing a horse, remember the rule:
	2003 Nov 9	Etruscan! Tuscan! Bohemian! Persian! Theban?	Is it a source of insolent pride
	2003 Jul 17	Euthansia without Gregariousness	How often have I pruned a tree
	2004 Feb 10	Even Duplication Factors	Say hello to Chutney Spears
	2003 Nov 1	Even Elves Entirely Excellent	Twixt D and F I'm found, but missing from this ballad
	2003 Sep 1	Even Time Will Have to Tread the Path	A thousand opportunities
	2004 Jan 29	Evening Along Its Transverse Axis	This caustic little ditty
	2003 Aug 1	Evenings Much Like This	There is magic in the air tonight
	2002 Oct 3	Evensong, worn thin through scraping	'Nautilus shall be my theme',
	2005 Feb 16	Ever Onward Through Muck	Before the gullet goes to ground
	2003 Jul 25	Every Phrase Yodelled by Wagner	Parsifal was bleeding from the gramophone
	2004 Dec 14	Every Third Word Recited Effortlessly (Canticle )	"A pox upon thee, wretched cur!"
	2004 Aug 18	Evidence From Pablum Mechanics	It isn't right, it isn't wrong
	2003 Nov 27	Evident Hypocrisy	The stack's not much fun anymore
	2003 Nov 17	Exceptional Disgrace	A mighty creature is the wife
	2000 Nov 22	Exceptions That Shimmer	Mine is the cat that is eating your trout
	2004 Jan 28	Excess Ease Coming	Who welds a poem huger than the grave?
	2003 Oct 31	Exchange: Offer Me Something	I'll make you an offer you can't refuse
	2002 May 11	Exculpatory Dancing	Giants, in their tedious way
	2007 Jan 24	Exegetical Heresies	Behold the Lamb of God
	2003 Aug 18	Exemptions for the Uneducated Lozenge	THREE WORDS PER LINE, UNRHYMED
	2003 Aug 17	Exhausted Bus of Sand	I took a Greyhound bus to Timbuktu
	2003 Jul 20	Existentially Imbued	(haiku) Why must you insist
	2000 Apr 3	Explode, My Foot!	Give me a piece of hoary old leather!
	1999 Sep 13	Explorers from Futility	The 'Big Adventure' all began on a day of trepidation
	2003 Oct 13	Extended Gravity From The Spectral Register	Gosh! That cat's obscenely fat!
	2003 Dec 8	Extraterrestial Wingnuts	Hooper wouldn't say his name
	2004 Mar 29	Extraterrestrial, Improperly Aligned	The cookbook used by Dr Who
	2005 Mar 18	Eye-Flavored Scrutiny	Prodigiously attractive
	2002 Aug 5	Eyelash Radio	Necessity's the mother of invention
	2004 Aug 8	Eyeliner How Ever Loosely Bent	Ridicule for penguins only makes them slide
	2004 Dec 17	Facile Farewell	Taking umbrage, in the Nile,
	2004 Jul 14	Fail By Then If Never	Calisthenic ribaldry shall not win you the prize!
	2000 Nov 8	Failure Threaded By Screws	A wallaby, tried in a kangaroo court
	2003 Aug 28	Faintly Wild, Like Justice and Love	Let me describe the love of my life
	2004 Apr 2	Faithful Enough Before Lunch	At the age of thirty-seven
	2003 Jul 17	Fallen	I've fallen and I can't get up
	1997 Feb 23	False Memories of a Papal Failure	I blench to acknowledge my failure
	2001 May 21	False Tales of My Calumny	Bring me an egg-whisk, and sand-blast my shoes!
	2003 Sep 2	Fandango Lashing	I've told you once, I've told you twice,
	2000 Nov 27	Fantastic Tabletop Of Suction	Rebuke, like gossip from the sun
	2003 Aug 18	Farce Of	Types of Medical Coverage
	2004 Feb 5	Farewell, Mutiny	Cease to sway
	2005 Aug 8	Farewell, My Lively Oystercatcher Nymphs	Heading off to sunny climes
	2004 Dec 17	Farfetched	I'll be home for Christmas (alas!)
	2005 Mar 30	Fashion Misstated	There was an old man from Sioux Falls
	2001 Jan 7	Fashionable, The Unseemly Lexicographer	There is, I've heard, an organist, who plays at half past three
	2006 Jun 15	Fasting Myths	That loathsome letter taints the page
	2003 Sep 30	Fasting with Predictable Terror	For many years, this story has remained untold
	2003 Aug 4	Fate Knocks at Victorian Doors	There was a young plumber from Dorset
***	2001 Mar 22	Father, Forgive Our Carpentry	The practice of law is a terminal bore
	2003 Jan 23	Fauré, Mendacious In Cairo,	Less than catarrh
	2003 Aug 17	Favorite Wigs	Crewcuts, pompadours, bouffants, and mohawks
	2000 Nov 21	Favourite Cheese-Mongers	Beefy, Loaf and Costorphine all went upon a jaunt,
	2002 Jan 14	Fawning Without Distinction	My regard for you does not acknowledge borders!
	2003 Sep 26	Feathery Fiends	What is the matter, my fine-feathered friend?
	2003 Aug 3	Feet Were Walking	When I was young did eagerly frequent
	2000 Apr 24	Felicity Kendall's Lovely Armpits	When you said you were my friend
	2003 Jul 23	Fellatio Limericks	There was an old geezer from Kent
	2003 Sep 29	Fellow Unravellers	I'd like to raise a glass to my friends across the sea
	2000 Feb 8	Fencing Our Glass Baby	For all your faults
	1999 Feb 2	Ferdinand's Elm	A grey seal, with grace of an eel
	1999 Nov 12	Fermenting the Woman from the Surgery	Achilles stole my hobby-horse
	2003 Jan 23	Ferocious Nightgowns	In dread of the foe
	2005 Nov 23	Fester's Last Words	It takes a man with real strength to deplore
	2006 May 11	Fester, Farewell	Fester, farewell
	1997 Jul 13	Fetch Away Fish!	Yellowing leaves frame a watery sky
	2005 Aug 10	Fields Of Everywhere	His secretary's teeth were sown
	2003 Nov 20	Fifteen Broken Things	One day my name will be up in lights
	1997 Jun 7	Fifteen Oblique Whiskers	A table of kinship for all the world's cats
	2003 Aug 7	Fight the Defiant Epithets for Sleeping Chickens	The customer is always right!
	2003 Sep 10	Filling For That Apocalyptic Sandwich	Who ate my doughnuts? I could weep
	2003 Sep 25	Filling the Proverbial Crannies	I try to Haiku
	1997 Oct 31	Finally, the Revelation that Armpits aren't Necessary	The twenty-first of Autumn
	2000 May 15	Fingering Second Every Town	While blotting my escutcheon
	2003 Sep 26	Finis is	This is the first line
	2001 Jan 6	Finnegan's Ascending Nostril	Alphabetic poetry often can
	2001 Feb 19	Firestorm Fingers	Have you heard the story of the Chattlewhump, my son?
	2003 Feb 20	First Downtime	Emollient, conciliatory, I ventured
	2003 Dec 29	First Glimpse Of Summer This Autumn	A 21st Century Christmas Carol
	2003 Aug 16	Fish Brocade	Who needs rhetorical questions?
	2003 Nov 22	Fish Jam Voting	The elephants of Iceland were meeting for the talks
	2004 Aug 9	Fish Remedies For Mischief	Not a feather, nor a leaf,
	2003 Jul 19	Fishies Swimming Silently	My glitzy one, my little twerp
	2003 Aug 1	Fishing for the Deal Makers	This time, Sam, we'll make a deal
	2003 Nov 7	Fishy Outlaw Escapes	A handsome young mackeral, named Frank,
	2003 Oct 28	Flame White Trash!	I went to bat for you so many times, and how have you repaid me?
	2006 Feb 11	Flames Coated With Heavy Penalties	The flames were gone, but, yet, a tiny ember
	2001 May 14	Flange Matrix - Paradise Of The Stars	Bubbles float up grassy-treed slopes
	2005 Mar 7	Flaring Hairclips	In latter days of green and blue
	2003 Aug 18	Flattery of a Goose	When starting on a masterpiece
	2004 Feb 20	Flawed Inheritance	Agnes played the cymbals, three nights a week
	2000 Apr 11	Fleeing Another Bloody Tuesday	Is this all
	2001 Mar 11	Fleeing, The Sticky Eremite Scratches	Poetry and Poesy declined to fight a duel,
	2004 Feb 1	Flight Recorder In Mink	Shocked by his failure to fly,
	2003 Sep 19	Floating My Delicious	Indescribably delicious doodads
	2002 May 9	Flood-plain Eembargoes	Once upon a greyhound dreary,
	2004 Aug 27	Florizel Inclined	Hide me, my darling, in your tresses!
	2003 Sep 30	Flowing The Fable	Once upon a time in a faraway land
	2007 Jan 16	Fly Nightmares	A carthorse, baked in bread
	2003 Jul 31	Fogey	Now here is a story, it's really quite gory and really quite sad to relate
	2003 Aug 5	Folks Who Smoke Soap	Mendicant Sam was a broken man
	2000 Sep 17	Fondling Benedict: The Groan Matrix	When Time has run its merry dance
	2003 Aug 11	Food	In the pages of a dusty book
	2003 Nov 28	Food For Sentimental Souls Like Us	Turkey, yams and pumpkin pie
	2003 Sep 30	Food for the Twin	Kielbasa is a sausage quite sublime
	2003 Jun 20	For an Unknown Frog	The semi thrummed o'er seams in the open road
	1999 Aug 6	For My Bunny Rabbit	'Give me back my arquebus!', cried Randolph Great the Third
	1998 Jan 23	For Tadpole Perkins	'Don't carry the coal to the amethyst pool,
	2005 Jul 22	For The Draining-board That Survivors Clutch	Step this way, you man o' war,
	2003 Jul 19	Foresight in F Minor (Haydn)	Where have our old-timers gone?
	2003 Dec 18	Forever In Love With Marilyn	There was an old goatherd named Bill
	2003 Jul 24	Forever Spinning	Spinning, falling,
	1999 Feb 15	Forever Strontium	Plug me in a catheter if there are any left
	2004 Jan 22	Forever The Syntax Omelette	The gas oven sings a sweet song to my leadened seratonin
	2004 Jul 6	Forget About Broken Daisies	When you take a taxicab, don't forget to tip
	2001 Aug 18	Forget Neptune	Trumpets are green
	2004 Feb 19	Forgive, Offhandedly	While you were away
	2004 Jan 11	Forgotten Blips Of The Ages Neolithic	All I crave is a little attention
	2001 Dec 12	Forgotten Riposte V	Thematic spoonful, years of corn
	2003 Oct 1	Forlorn Ode To Verse	On Helicon, the Muses gather round
	2004 Jun 18	Forswear Courage	Hollie was a hostage
	2002 Aug 23	Fortissimo Epilogue	Whenne that Julye, with its weather bloodie
	2005 Mar 31	Four Times Four Is Tonic	So ... how to subvert the Age of Consent?
	1999 Jun 21	Fracturating Kippers: This Homophonic Harmonium	Meet my typing-tutor
	2003 Jul 17	Fractured Hearts Have Missed Innumerable Chances	How graven seem those fractured tarts
	2007 Feb 19	Fragments Concluded	Union State gave way to blues - in a doleful way -
	2000 Apr 5	Fraternal Greetings To Reverend Cuticle's Oppossum	Arabella Spommit had three cousins slim and tall
	2002 Aug 30	Frau Jung Was My Mainstay	Donkey shot, the French would call it
	2004 Mar 12	Frauds? Yes	Let us now praise famous men
	2003 Aug 2	Free at Halloween	The house was haunted, so they said
	2004 Jan 14	Frequency Of Dinner Jackets	I did not think a coddled egg
	2003 Sep 27	Friday Goof-Off	Motivation now departed, though the day is not yet done
	2004 Aug 19	Friday Night Aspirants	At least it isn't hailing
	1996 Nov 28	Frisson	What I say is seldom what I mean,
	2001 Nov 20	Frogmen Imminent	'Tis time! 'Tis time! The deed is done
	2003 Aug 7	Frogs and Stale	The frog comes in on little fat feet
	2001 Oct 8	From Chocolate Time-Zones	Her eye is not my voice
	2003 Dec 8	From Here, Hence And Further	Is there anything I can say
	2002 Nov 27	From Prussia Without Stamps	Mercator's projection had one tiny flaw
	1998 Apr 19	From Underneath Diana's Toast	Its stuns me, like it stuns us all
	1999 Feb 8	From...	At the end of my tether I fastened a kite
	2003 Nov 13	Fructose Frogs For Little Boys	A line of sawdust or cocaine
	2004 Jan 29	Frugal Jars Of Mine Filled With Other Piglets	It's a glossary, they claim,
	1998 May 14	Frugal the Frog	Behold the frugal cactus
	2003 Aug 21	Fruit Is Like Life	My life is like a grapefruit
	2003 May 3	Fruitful Duck Soup	My goldfish likes to do the monkey bars
	2002 Apr 4	Fugitive and Funcle	Reading avidly, yet slowly, I devoured the novel.
	1999 Aug 23	Full Confession for the Titans	Pay up! Pay up! It's not a game, you know
	2003 Mar 19	Fun in the Unnerving Moonlight (Rembrandt's Schooldays)	I've always been taught to report what I thought
	2004 Feb 3	Further Epsom Salts	How far can we fall
	1999 May 18	Further from the Beatiful Foot	The rate of completion increases
	2003 Sep 23	Further The Pope's Unwitting Conversion	Down the gullet, soft and sweet
	2002 Jan 23	Fustian Comfits	Portable women
	2005 Jan 27	Futile	Ripe bananas, ten a pound! Grapes to fit a feast!
	2001 Jan 24	Future Dereliction Of Duty	Somewhere in the evening, at a screen not far from you
	2005 Apr 20	Future Species Will Not Tolerate Hotels	If the Sun was to die today
	2002 May 14	Gabriel's Hiccoughs	Sledgehammer? I thought to use a shovel
	2005 Oct 11	Gabriel, So Rotund	It's a wonderful life, to be sure
	2003 Jul 19	Gadfly Pudding	Side by side sat F & N, with monitors opposed,
	2003 Nov 4	Gambits Under Glass	This time, then another, then - perhaps - once more
	2003 Jul 21	Gamesmanship (The Piglets)	Oink on, you crazy pigman
	2003 Jul 19	Garbanzos	Falafel was not feeling well
	2003 Aug 6	Garden Shoes of the Vaudeville Monsters	Monsters in the garden
	2003 Sep 9	Gargled End	By the time you read this message
	2003 Jul 19	Gargling Troubadours	Why must you gargle on the couch?
	2002 Aug 7	Gartled Invertebrate Forum	'Subtle', spelt with seven Ps
	2007 Feb 17	Gates Shut By Accident	Stunned, stunned
	2004 Feb 12	Gateways Home To Worthing	We set out, full of hope and ale, one grey December morn
	2004 Apr 2	Gathering Clouds While Visigoths Circle	Let me be the first to say, it's nice to have you back
	2003 Oct 13	Gaugin, You Villain	See, saw; go, gone;
	2003 Oct 23	Gene Pylons	Andromaque: 'twixt bloodied sheets
	2004 Nov 23	Generally Too Much Opulence	How lithely do these lilliputians leap
	2003 Sep 18	Genesis is the Only Truth	O Universe, O sparkling void, teach me of thy ways
	2003 Jul 17	Gentrification is a Giggle	Whene'er I see a falling star
	2001 Feb 8	Geometry Crawls Nightwards	Their shop lay in a triangle
	2000 Dec 13	Getting to Loathe You	Dinner jacket,, morning-suit
	2004 Apr 29	Ghastly Appendages	Oh, it's all quite ghastly
	2003 Sep 26	Ghazal to Asylum	I fear that one day they will carry me off
	2005 Oct 11	Ghent Is Abandoned Now, So Gloucester Weeps	My salad days were mainly spent
	2003 Sep 14	Ghosts for My Poster	Dorian hung on my parlour wall
	2003 Jul 20	Giggling Idols	What of Phaeton, Hyperion, Icarus, the angel Lucifer?
	2003 Jul 28	Gilbert, With Giants in Hand	Have you met my wee friend, Gilbert?
	2002 Mar 7	Gingerbread Housing Corporation	Gretel's luxuriant hairy schnauzer was a bitch!
	2003 Jul 28	Gingersnaps (Why Dress Up?)	Maxine's coming into town, but look at all this
	2003 Jul 21	Giraffe Shoe Happenstances	Would you care to multiply?
	2003 Nov 27	Girlish Lavender Hues	How feminine, this colour scheme!
	2000 Jun 14	Give It Some Welly Now!	To think of bursting as a chore
	2004 Jul 13	Glaswegians In Time-share Bodies	On a hilltop, left of Rheims,
	2003 Aug 24	Glibness for Fakenham	Bills are overdue, your car has broken down
	2000 Nov 15	Glistening Obbligatos	Oh ripely reeking Camembert!
	1997 Aug 15	Gloucestershire My Undiscovered Child	His elbow never faltered
	2004 Jul 30	Gloucestershire Throughout Devon	'Tis the ebbing of the eyes
	2003 Jan 8	Gloves of Careful Nutmeg	Like rising, having slept for years,
	2003 Jun 24	Glow Experimental	Madame Curie created quite a glow
	2003 Nov 18	Glyphs And Cryptographic Chance	Red rocks; blue skies; a snooze and air refreshed
	2003 Oct 28	Go, Authors of My Lunch!	See how you like it, Mr. Black!
	2003 Oct 19	Go-Faster Waistcoat	Faster than the human mind can ever comprehend
	2003 Aug 14	Goals and Perils	We have searched the world for treasure
	2003 Aug 25	Goatishness : A Change For The Better	Before I owned a goat-face mask
	2000 Jun 6	Goats Cannae Knit	There was a young man from Kilbride
	2003 Nov 18	God's Void Devoid	You stare impassively at the world
	2006 Mar 16	Godliness In Three-four Time	He walked his widow home
	2001 Jan 9	Going off the Boil	If love cannot foretell the past
	2006 May 4	Good Bugs	We must perform a Quirkafleeg
	2005 Feb 7	Good-luck To Endless Sorrow	Leastways, said the meter man, You'll always have some fish
	2005 Nov 13	Goodfellow Moses	A secret door
	1999 Aug 27	Googlehimmel (Pathetic Science)	Is it so? Have you not heard?
	2003 Sep 6	Googlewhacking Report	Tragically, we must report this sad fact:
	2003 Jul 17	Googly	lying in a ditch of binjo
	2002 Mar 20	Goose Desk	The roots of criminal intent
	2003 Sep 5	Goose Nuts	Be like the squirrel
	2005 Feb 23	Gorgon Cookies	Just imagine thirteen cakes aglitter in the night:
	2003 Jul 17	Gorgonzola Prevaricates	My gorgonzola often swells
	1998 Feb 26	Gossamer Binary Cheesburger	Perhaps it was something I said,
	2002 Jan 16	Grandiose Gestures, Futile Drivel	'Leave me @peace.com', my nephew cried,
	2003 Sep 24	Grandma Ain't Old Enough For Birthdays Any More	Grandma still sports a teased bouffant
	2002 Oct 2	Grappling infrequently with the engine-driver's antibodies	These comedy moths
	2006 Jun 22	Grave Mayhem	An awful example of verse
	2003 Sep 30	Gravel for My Poignant Cotillion	Flippant poignancy
	2003 Dec 19	Greatly Exaggerated Half-truths	Tim sits alone at his desk in the dark
***	2005 Jan 17	Grey From Top To Towpath	Upon the next-to-shortest day
	2004 Jun 20	Grid Of Life Expectant	The weight of expectation is pressing on my brain
	2003 Jan 28	Groovy Chicks Abound Herein	Big stuff is going down, dude
	2003 Nov 25	Growing Like Bacteria	Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
	2003 Nov 27	Grudges Over The Family Fishing Rights	Anthony Blair
	2000 Jul 24	Guildford, Epping, Tooting	When you proposed this concert
	2005 Nov 16	Guile In Any May	Awestruck in the horse-truck,
	2003 Sep 3	Guilelessly, No	Gus Grissom ... wasn't he the dude
	2004 Jan 7	Gums And Tongues	Out, fry of lechery?
	2003 Nov 14	Gumshoe In Divers Forests	I've never been the sort of man
	2004 Feb 17	Habits Of Old Liberals Foregone	"devolve prolific coconut" advised the sophic spam
	2004 Jun 22	Haddock Framing	I berate you for infecting
	2005 Jan 25	Haddock Versus Anchovies: Discuss	My tension's most unmenstrual,
	2003 Nov 28	Hades Doesn't Matter	Persephone will not emerge; I've heard it from the highest source
	2003 Nov 7	Haiku With Problems	The jester donned his liripipe
	1999 Dec 23	Hail Noddy!	Something whispers in my ear
	2003 Jul 18	Hair	He urged me to go get a perm
	2003 Oct 26	Hairless of Sins	Her body glistened, hairless quite,
	2003 Nov 6	Hairpiece	When you trim the hair away
	2004 Jan 1	Hake Sprouts	My sister, Sue, has several suitors
	2003 Jul 18	Halcyon	See how all the daffodils
	2005 Oct 25	Half Baked Wholly	Stalk the streets of Serenissima
	2006 Mar 2	Half The Time Left To Us	Have you met my little friend, Bip?
	1998 Jan 5	Half-wits in Paradise	I've heard it said that Hell is other people
	2002 Nov 15	Halibut Without	I ate my salad in a huff:
	2003 Oct 6	Hammering On The Eyeliner	Kick down the door of the lipstick factory
	2004 Mar 31	Hammerklavier, Dissonantly	The late sonatas on a lute?
	1999 Apr 26	Handel's Balletic Hymen	Virginal scrapings are like unto gold
	2006 Jan 29	Handy Men Poised With Unguents	If beating fleas was my habit
	1997 Feb 2	Hanging (Tidal)	Key of diamonds, tempest
	2004 May 28	Hanging Trout Fancying Grandmothers	I dropped it down the wishing well
	2002 Apr 4	Hannibal's Eggcup	Faint amalgam, fashioned quite
	2003 Nov 18	Happiness, The Noose Of Love	Poetry I never knew found love on your demise
	2003 Sep 3	Happy Ode to Love Unbounded	Come with me, My Love, and see good Nature's fairest flow'r
	2000 Dec 14	Happy Those Who Bother Not To Wash Emus	Now is the time for joyful feasts
	2003 Nov 20	Harrumph Parumph Gallumph	How silly, you're suddenly snooty
	1997 Apr 26	Harry In The Blue Toast-Rack	Hail! Hale-Bopp and roll upon your starry roundelay
	2004 Feb 13	Harvest Me Gently Yet	There's many pheasant pluckers farm life's field
	2004 Feb 22	Harvested From Unsavoury Pulpits	Only a man.
	2003 Oct 15	Haunted Colours	Lacerated insights pour into my head
	2003 Oct 8	Have Pickles, Everyone!	Pencilled eyebrows, shaven legs
	2003 Sep 30	Have the Patience of the Broken	I'm building castles in the sky
	2003 Oct 10	Have You Enough Putty?	Wetching in the tersome rain
	2002 Dec 14	Having Stacy In Song	Why don't we rename Christmas?
	2003 Aug 15	Havoc with Spring-Loaded Crutches	The worm has made our cities black
	2003 Aug 15	Hayseed, Huh?	Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer
	2003 Nov 17	Hazardous Waist	Forty-seven atheists have gathered round my grave
	2003 Oct 1	He Knew I Was a Frog	Miss Piggy was making a fuss
	2003 Sep 9	He Knew Lake Geneva	Taupe plateaus, a turquoise skyThe bleached bones of oxen
	2006 Dec 17	He See Nothing With Relish	The price of dodging RSI
	2003 Aug 14	He-she me?	A limerick often is dirty
	2003 Aug 27	Headless Parrots	When Granma discovered my dungeon
	2003 Aug 4	Heart Shines	The moon will nevermore
	2002 May 28	Hearts, Like Crystals, Dissolve into Nothingness	Finesse the Queen! Finesse the Queen!
	2005 Aug 1	Heathen Lent	Ingest this canapé of grime?
	2000 Apr 5	Heather Eliot's Bottom Line	April is the cruellest month
	2005 Jul 18	Heave Aside Our Plundering Pharoah	At seven Gs
	2002 Jan 22	Heavier Than Hymnodists	BNW, dreaded term, infects my thought
***	1996 Dec 16	Hectoring tripe	Enough of your brutal evasions!
	2004 Nov 8	Heliotrope Spores	If waking life had time for dreams
	1999 Jan 3	Hell Fruit	If you think that I'm the reject, then I'll thrash you till you're blue
	2005 Aug 23	Help! Aunt Potter Stole My Neckerchief	Trust me with your pudding store
	2004 Mar 30	Hen Pectoral Commemorated	Suffolk Asian – who would choose
	2000 Jul 11	Henderson's Decline	'Why have you tied up Granny?' the little girl was asked
	2000 May 23	Hengist's coming to get you, Horsa	In Persia's lands, there is a wisp that terrifies the priests.
	2004 Oct 9	Hens Pretend To Bend Spoons	Infestation's not a problem, but the cure!
	1999 Jan 31	Her Daymare	On the far side of the beach: abyss
	2000 Jan 29	Her nerveless dressing-table, regarding which	Although her skull is squat and flat
	2001 Jan 9	Her Northampton Boudoir	Bengeo is just the place to start a bitter feud
	2000 Jul 18	Her Promiscuity Made Good	Shall I compare thee to a coach and four?
	2002 Apr 29	Her Prophylactic Wednesdays (Compensatory Voucher)	In days before the Diceman
	2005 Nov 7	Here Is Owl	Glimpsed through barbed wire
	2003 Aug 7	Here Moon, There Another	We sailed on the third of July
	2006 Jun 8	Hereinafter Hake	To view the ocean from a cliff
	2003 Nov 27	Heresy Of Cosmic Sanity	The moon is made of cheese, and so
	2002 Nov 29	Heroic and Auspicious	In Hastings, once, there should an elm,
	2002 Feb 7	Heroic, We Know Nothing	Boil my leg before you go -
	2003 Feb 5	Herring Orphans of All Totnes	How horrid is the elephant
	2002 Nov 28	Hertfordshire Joke	I add some lard to every bath-time mix
	2001 Oct 3	Hidden Are Our Own Inept Performances	Blended with the hint of curling smoke came release
	2003 Mar 18	Hidden By Hygiene Fairies	If only these kids knew what I
	2006 Dec 15	Hidden Works	Just a hint of twilight
	2001 Oct 9	Hideous Indeed	Jarrow is my noble home
	2004 Jul 9	Hideum Cat	Banalities, encountered twice,
	1997 Jun 17	Hiding Like A Hun (Portia's Lament)	Here comes the knight, mail clad, through the border
	2005 Jul 19	High Teeth	Juicy plums for me to bite!
	1997 Sep 10	Highgate Hopeful	As we crested the brow of the ultimate hill
	2003 Nov 18	Highly Prized Hydrocarbon	Titrate this acid, if you please, against this salt,
	2005 Jul 11	Highways, Byways, Afterthoughts	Kaleidoscopes in bronze and zinc
	2003 May 30	Hilariously Pregnant	I guffaw but twice per night,
	2003 Jul 24	Hills Speak of Chlorine	The old mountain holds a secret
	2003 Sep 28	Hindsight Blindness	If I had known that this would be
	2004 Oct 20	His Lady Grammarian	Babbling as the brook in spate,
	2006 Jun 18	His Lucky Skull Has Perished	In his ochre jodhpurs
	2004 Jan 11	His Own Lewd Vespers	My penchant's mathematical
	2005 Jul 25	His Trusty League	Never measured, never loved,
	2003 Jul 22	History Repeats Itself Itself Frequently Despite Appearances To The Contrary	Ten thousand men have lost their lives
	2004 Nov 14	Hittite Words Of Unforgiving	A gentleman of oriental character
	2002 Dec 10	Ho, Whoreson Pimp!	The alphabet should be curtailed:
	1997 Jan 3	Hoisting Eyeball Three	We were always in her debt
	2000 Apr 27	Holding Nigella Lawson's Python	Whenas April with his sweet showers
	2003 Aug 26	Holographic Implant	Tales of magic and mystery
	2004 Oct 11	Holy Things Always Worry Women	Who will search
	2005 Jan 18	Home Schooling And No Bidets	Twice in one day! A rare delight
	2004 May 26	Home Time Before Cock-crow	Why do I sit here, why do I strive
	1999 Apr 4	Homer Retranslated	Conversations are a winding down of time for most,
	1998 Mar 18	Homer, Art Thou Heat and Lightness?	Before the dawn, the darkest hour
	2006 Mar 15	Homeward Boundary	We flee the sun, and head back to the gray
	2000 May 23	Homily For Courtesans in Norwich cathedral	The cards were dealt, and in my hand
	2003 Oct 9	Honestly, If Anyone Dares Mention Earwax Again...	Among the elbows, as a rogue
	2001 Apr 13	Hook Performance	In the deepest part of the pool
	2003 Jul 17	Hope Squeals 'Wahoo!"	Dispel those neverending qualms
	2001 Dec 6	Hopping Around the Fringes	Up, the new down
	2003 Aug 21	Horace is What We Like	Would you like to waltz or samba?
	2003 Oct 7	Horizons Known Only to the Certain	Over the listing, under the stamp
	2001 Dec 17	Horse-Box Politics	The Devil's in the detail
	1997 Apr 15	Horse-Face Shrike In Lonely Dialogue	By leaving no margin for error
	2003 Jul 28	Horseback Spirits of the Ghost Town	On a dusty road in an outback town
	2005 Jan 27	Horses Most Definitely	Spanish onions, in the dark,
	2004 Jul 22	Horticultural Adages Designed By Sadistic Schoolmarms	Artichokes stop chasing, when the sunset glows,
	2005 Dec 15	Hosiery On Half-forgotten Nuns	Corset strung as tight as tight,
	2005 Jan 4	Houndstooth Canal	It seemed as though I'd never been away
	2003 Aug 5	Housemaids Singing on Sunday	Is this what we've come to?
	2004 Feb 20	How Can It Be Moss If It Grows Faster?	O sober reflection
	1999 Feb 28	How Death Became Moonshine	My tribal ways
	2006 Jun 3	How It Was Before	Astride an ice-cold anvil
	2000 Jul 6	How Large Is Tina's Dinosaur?	I once asked Uncle Herbert
	2006 Jun 15	How Many Such Openings Have We Squandered?	Astride a red-hot anvil
	1997 May 31	How Met By Legion	You call yourself a Yeti
	2003 Jul 17	How Often Tattooed?	How seldom do I see a frump
	2006 Jan 11	How Silently, How Clumsily	Behold, the Fifth Amendment
	2003 Sep 25	How To Cook Vegetables	I may have to boil a turnip
	2007 Feb 14	Howsomever, Queyntely	When I fell in love with you
	2003 Nov 7	Huddersfield Pie	Don't let that horse eat that violin
	2001 Sep 30	Hugh's Underpants Defy Dogma	Staggering across the heath
	1999 Sep 6	Hugo Onerous (Episode1)	Where, oh where is the Phantom Menace
	2002 Nov 29	Hugo's Goats	Hideous smells
	2003 Dec 1	Hungry For Keys	Rowan is a wood that I can't eat
	2003 Jul 25	Hunt Within	The ancient hunter stood proudly
	2003 Nov 21	Hunting The Innocent	Just before the doorbell rang, my lids had fallen shut
	2000 Jan 21	Hurrah! A Pointless Stereo Pencil	The lines of life upon her face
	2003 Nov 3	Hypochondria Isn't The Harlot's Proof	I think I have a broken leg
	2003 Sep 29	Hypothermic Ennui for Old Times	The leaves are turning brown again. I wonder how they know
	2004 Nov 29	Hypothesis Epsilon	Come, let us dance, just you and I
	2003 Dec 3	I Admire The Willingness	As we know, there are known knowns
	2003 Aug 28	I Am Not The Obsessive Weirdo You Are	I like to spoonbill
	2003 Nov 20	I Am Transformed	I came upon a startling sight
	2003 Sep 19	I Fear Bonnie Lies Under the Ocean Freeway	I've oft wondered what Karin looks like
	2003 Aug 26	I Hear Sousaphones Marching	Trombones are sounding in my sleep
	2003 Aug 25	I Shall Cope	My, my! All my underpants are gone!
	2000 Dec 15	I Stagger Under Fourfold Fardels	Time and again, with weary tread
	2005 Jan 6	I Surface Behind The Lamps	A pelvis drowned in custard
	2004 Feb 13	I Won't Be Flying Anywhere Near Basildon	There's time enough for changing sides
	2005 Mar 18	I Would Rather Not Serve Rice	I might not swallow more than once
	2003 Oct 2	I'll never ηπ again	I once was told that A is πr
	2003 Jan 9	I'll Surely Trample Your Tractor, My Love	I had a little tractor
	2000 May 9	I'm Pitifully Happy Wherever There Are Spoonbills	My life is like an open road (yes, people walk on me)
	2001 Jun 28	I'm Washing Pyjamas for Lunatics	Drunken badgers and their TVs
	2001 Jan 17	I, Diamond Jim	Thumb screws , finger nails
	1999 Dec 29	I, Everest	I hear the tread of thirty thousand men
	2003 Jun 24	Iambic Portrait of Montalban	Ricardo's toupee hasn't aged but a day
	2006 Jun 6	Ibstokon, Who Prefers All Comers	The prunes were laid out, row on row,
	2001 Jan 9	Iced Mohicans, Anyone?	Zoroaster sunnily bestows his
	2003 Jul 17	Iceman	No man is an igloo
	2004 Apr 23	Iconoclasts Rarely Gain Entry To Disneyland	Breaking down barriers and opening doors
	2000 Aug 4	Icy Privy	The green in a bluebottle's eye
	2003 Nov 25	If Bentley	George Dubbya Bush
	2003 Jun 20	If Cocoa Couldn't (Allegory)	"Chocolate! Give me chocolate!", the woman screamed
	2003 Dec 9	If I Illuminate Life Only Slightly, I Shall	I was born a prisoner in your dungeon of fish
	2004 Jun 30	If If Why When How Who	Big Brother watches the housemates perform
	2004 Oct 8	If Kipling Required Satisfaction	If all the buyers faced this way
	2003 Oct 1	If Not Insouciance	Feeling rather awkward, newly clad in neon eyewear
	2003 Aug 28	If Oblivion Had Foes	If everything that you had ever known
	2003 Sep 17	If Only God Lived 9 Lives	The first thing I learned in my life as a cat
	2003 Jul 17	If Only People Smelled Like Flowers	I often wonder how to start
	2005 Feb 23	If Perchance	Bold insurgence swept from coast to coast
	2003 Aug 14	If Rapture Exists	If ever there was a time when wishes and dreams could come true
	1998 Feb 26	If Shadows Could Jest	Why is it so dark in the middle of this life?
	2000 Dec 5	If Sluices Matter	Incas ... dreadful drinkers,
	2004 Jan 27	If The Janitor, When Juggling...	Gorris!
	2003 Nov 6	If They Reversed The Creosote	It didn't have to end this way
	2003 Oct 4	If Wishes Were Forces	Fix what is broken
	2003 Dec 10	If Wishes Were Geese, Nobody Would Honk	I knew a sinister minister
	2003 Jun 23	If You Could Falter	The glamour of a teaspoon
	2003 Sep 2	If You Were Unveiling	Things I would do if I were a cowboy:
	2003 Dec 29	Ignoring Problems	Behold mankind, how fragile it's life
	2005 Nov 17	Ignoring The Peach And Nectarine	If ever I would write a dirge
	2003 Dec 21	Ill-fated Flyover On Insect Wings	See the tiny aerodrome
	2002 Sep 10	Ill-qualified for Hoping	Dodging through the rainbows
	2003 Jul 24	Imagination, Fortitude, Cholesterol	Imagine there's no flugle
	2003 Oct 27	Imagine This Weirdness	Imagine a World without...
	2004 Jan 12	Imbibe This Page	I don't drinke vodka, only ginne -
	2005 Dec 8	Immaculate Threnodies by Augustan Bachelors	On Boscombe Down, where Keats was born
	2003 Feb 20	Immediately Nobody	The cobbler, blind for seven years
	2002 Jul 12	Immediately to the North of Dorking	A friendly leaf once gave me quite a fright:
	2001 Oct 8	Immer mit Einheit	When Apsley dreams of Arabella Spommit,
	2004 Jul 30	Imminent Destruction Of Everything In Port	Passion, closeness and great sex
	2004 Jan 20	Impasto Throughout Australasia	My wife is nibbling at my neck
	2003 Jun 28	Imperfection	Oh, to be Home now summer is here....
	2002 Oct 3	Impersonating Nelson for Fun!	As fine a feast as man has known
	2001 Jul 27	Impertinent Desires	The Scandinavian roll-mop
	2004 Jan 25	Implacable Northerly Padrés	Competition in other places
	1999 Nov 3	Implausible Emptiness in Andromeda Parkway	Without denying anything much
	2006 Apr 18	Implications	Take a pinch of mustard-seed
	2002 Nov 8	Impressions of the National Arthritic Gallery	My fourteenth friend cannot be seen from here
	2001 Dec 7	In Abandoned Transit-Vans	Harold was a potter
	2000 May 14	In Africa, Hoplessly Lost	We don't regret the cakes that glisten in the sand
	2003 Aug 3	In Awe of Dangerous Lives	Far beyond the red-black morning sky
	2002 Jul 5	In Contempt of a Buried Steamship	This poem concerns Hades.
	2007 Jan 5	In Dreams of Counterfeited Harmony	They met at Domus Felix
	2003 Jan 9	In Lemons	Why, tell me why, is the future so green?
	2003 Aug 28	In My Dreams of Paint	I hear you are sailing to Lesbos
	2004 Nov 3	In My Long-lost Wellingtons	Magnetic fields, an iron horse
	2003 Oct 23	In Nougat	(haiku) Seven plumquats sit
	2004 Jun 16	In Our Wintry Organ	To prime one's seventh armpit
	2005 Sep 11	In Past Emporia	One for sorrow, two for fish
	2003 Sep 27	In Piles of Half-Burned Pizza	What evil you planning today?
	2004 Jun 10	In The Seventh Parcel Are Several Businessmen	When pass-the-parcel palls
	2003 Jun 21	In Time (Full Icebox)	Without you
	2003 Oct 21	In Vicious Family Circles	Oh papa, look! A jolly bruin
	2003 May 31	Inaudible When Down-wind	I promise, tomorrow I'll be a good boy
	2006 May 30	Inbred Heirloom	To generate hysteria, the Queen declared the area
	2005 Mar 23	Incoherence Everywhere Discovered Anew	The horror-shows of ancient Gaul
	2003 Oct 17	Incompetence, Incompetence	Whilst painting the ceiling, the artist remarked:
	2003 Dec 3	Increasingly Preposterous Homilies	The champagne glass lies shattered
	2003 May 10	Industrial-Strength Wrigley's	My Spiderman was killed by Zach
	1998 May 2	Inexpensive Shakespearian Blancmange	For Macbeth it were done quickly,
	2003 Sep 22	Infatuation: The Amusing Conundrum	What do you want to do with this?
	2002 Aug 28	Infested by Dali Specialists	When nuns collide, then is the time
	2003 Nov 13	Inhaling Woolf's Ouevre	Don't revile me, don't come near!
	2006 Mar 2	Injunctions To The Barricades	Bring me the bones of a man who is broken
	2001 May 17	Innocuously Or Venomously	I always caught the quarter-past; it never ran on time
	2003 Sep 21	Input Commandments	Another call from Abraham
	1997 Feb 24	Insensible Blandishments	Ask anyone about my woes,
	2003 Nov 21	Insufficiently Stylish Behaviour	Verily, I think I'll slump
	2003 Jul 30	Insults for Schoolmarms	Slug bug!
	2003 Sep 8	Insupportable Toothbrushes	The dream went to sleep,
	2000 Oct 24	Integumental Teletubbies (Seventeen Hours Ago)	Mine is the eggcup, yours is the hake,
	2004 Jun 2	Intensify The Passion For Ophthalmology	Bigfoot saw the racehorse
	2003 Aug 29	Inter-Planetary Tomfoolery	I once took a spaceship to Mars
	2007 Feb 26	Interface Not Found - Contact the Librarian	As to orientation I've begun a new élite
	2000 Jan 23	Intergalactic Journey of a Broken Cruet	The Zimmer by the garage door
	2003 Nov 11	Into The Black Of The Tentacle	There was a young maiden named Sue
	2006 May 23	Into The Vegetable	A carrot lay upon the bank
	2004 Jan 9	Invaders From Rabbit-holes, Snout First	Mars is being explored--and wow, are we excited!
***	1997 Feb 19	Invisible Sandwiches - The Tiresome Beginnings	She found the smoothest stone,
	2003 Aug 5	Invitation to Rather Unlikely Personnel	Should I invite you to my soiree?
	2001 Dec 10	Inwardly, Yet Outwardly	This helicopter, whose neglect
	2005 Nov 11	iPods Crafted From Rusting Spanners Or Similar	You think of these as scones
	2003 Nov 1	Irresistible Types	My Love was born on Halloween
	2003 Nov 8	Is Confused By	Never did I dream that she would call a spade a spade
	2000 May 24	Is My Navel Growing?	What is that great black bird I see?
	2005 Jan 7	Is Nothing Valueless	Once quite temperamental
	1999 Jan 18	Is of Night	The smiles I get when I dance around the bar
	2002 Jan 9	Is Santa Powerless?	No man is an isthmus
	2003 Sep 23	Isn't Doubt Corrosive?	Doubt is so corrosive
	2004 Sep 13	It Cannot Be The Teapots	She is in love with the beautiful formlessness of the sea (Sylvia Plath)
	1997 Apr 26	It Isn't Often Oatmeal	In his book, 'The Uranium Fanfare',
	2004 Aug 17	It Might Not Be That Scrap	When coupled with that
	1999 Mar 2	It never happened really except once maybe yesterday	The night was dark, and dire foreboding crackled in the air
	2004 Sep 1	It Never Raineth On The Holy Fool	Back at the beginning
	2006 Jan 19	It Seems Pointless To Polka	Handel's Croatian
	1997 Dec 16	It's Entirely God's Business	Eleven, six or eight
	2000 Jul 31	It's Meadowlark Lemmon	In the dead of night, lit by pale moonlight
	2003 Aug 14	It's the Spuds' Malevolence	With sinister speed, they come and go
	2004 Mar 4	It's Unoffically Denied Until Proven	Now the news is out,
	2003 Jul 21	Ivor the Besotten	Unbeknown to Ivor Pooter
	2006 May 22	Jabberwocky, The Lyrics	Be wary of the snigglewats
	1996 Nov 1	Jail-mouth Slime	At the risk of sounding spiteful, I shall tell you what I think
	2000 Jun 6	Jeeves Arranged My Spangled Smoking Jackets Elegantly	I like to eat cheese in the High Pyrenees
	2003 Jul 19	Jello Fellow	While bouncing on a sea of jello
	2004 Feb 3	Jelly-Babies Prefer Jelly-Parents	Dr Who once gave me candy-floss to eat
	2003 Nov 19	Jerry-built Riffs	There once was lady from Knox
	1998 Mar 2	Jesus pondering a delightful catachresis	Beneath the tea tree sits the gnome,
	2000 Jun 1	Jesus With Underdone Omelette	In this unspeakable foreboding year, our doom
	2003 Nov 13	Jilted By Cheapskates	"I've saved you so much money, dear"
	2003 Jan 9	Jolly Thirsty Pirates	Fifteen men on the Dead Man's Chest
	2003 Aug 12	Jonah On War	There was once a man in a tale
	2002 Nov 28	Judith, A Polynomial	In my glass kimono
	2004 Sep 14	Juicy John Chest Unit	Yield unto me, maiden fresh,
	2003 Oct 21	Just A Hog	There once was a pervert named Mick
	2003 Jul 18	Just As Jurassic	Upon the plain the stegosaurus
	2002 May 31	Just Icing the Mind	I love the sound of ice cubes when
	2003 Aug 17	Kamasutra for Happy Knives and Spoons	There was a fine seller of pearls
	2003 Aug 9	Kangaroo Den	She prayed that she might never see the day
	2003 Sep 26	Karma Rodents	Dreaming gerbils in the sawdust dream of you and me
	1998 May 2	Kate's Gruttock Impaler	In times of stress I like to scratch my foot
	2000 Nov 1	Keats Knew His Mind	Oh, what can ail thee, Knave of Hearts,
	2005 Jan 24	Keatsian Devices	Grecian urns do not inspire these words
	2004 May 27	Keeping Her Through Ignorance	Let's not expect the moon
	2000 Feb 13	Kenneth: My Monster Pilot	Cover me with asphalt as they do in Donegal!
	2003 Jul 10	Ketchup Alchemy	A red hen, convinced that her eggs were sublime,
	2006 May 12	Kiki On Speed	The glittering lights of Montmatre in her eyes
	2006 Aug 9	Kill None But The Brave Lover	No mistress is so passing fair
	2006 Jun 23	Kill The Penny	Perfection in a postage-stamp
	2003 Sep 20	Kindly Mind My Zoo	Kruschev and me
	2003 Nov 2	Kissable Landlords In Jeopardy	Kiss me quick and go
	2003 Jun 27	Knight of the Noxious Lie	If only I could sing like William Shatner
	2004 Aug 16	Knighthood For Those In Direst Destitution	I chanced upon a shouting match
	2002 Oct 10	Knitting Vol-au-vents	Wars are documentaries now...
	2002 Dec 5	Knowing About Astromancy	My new Gemini space-craft leaks
	2003 Jul 28	Knowledge Couth Forsooth	There are many things you do not know
	2001 Nov 7	Kurosawa Crawled Heavenward	There's nothing to accomplish in the dust
	2001 Sep 4	Kylie, Dark Illusion	I unfolded my favourite handkerchief slowly
	2002 Oct 14	Laconic as Pestilence	Marge sees not her hem's afire,
	2003 Dec 5	Lament For The Unseen Cake	Who will come with me, who will come play?
	2003 Dec 29	Lament Not The Passing Of Haliborange	Twenty past midnight, I want to go home
	2005 Nov 29	Lament: Austere Nightly Beatings	Retribution, hard as stolen milk,
	2004 Sep 16	Lamentations Upon The Morrow	I stare into myself, hoping for redress
	2003 Nov 17	Landscapes Fail	Just before the avalanche
	2003 Oct 2	Large Enough To Store Time	What better place than here?
	2006 Jun 7	Lark Ovaries	Have you ever thought of trimming your moustache?
	2005 Aug 22	Lasers In Latin	To grasp these prawns will take some skill
	2004 May 1	Late Comers To Rollerblades	Which came first, the liver or the wurst?
	2002 Jan 2	Lately Confused Shirts	As he jumped from the peak of the mountain of Slibb
	2003 May 18	Laughing Down by the Maelstrom	Behind the nipple's cruel intent
	2004 Jan 17	Laundanum Language	'Ulalume, ulalume,' said Edgar Allan Poe
	2002 Oct 10	Laundresses, Basements, and Pythons	Gullible wretches, so polished and pure
	2003 Nov 3	Lawfully Invalidated Fishing Permit	A pound of osmium breaks all banks
	2003 Oct 27	Lawrence's Spaniard Fool	How hideous is the Spaniard
	2003 Jul 17	Lay for a Lonely Farmer	She was lovely as the night
	2004 Jan 14	Leadership Fails Turtles	He used to be, so rumor has, the Dean of Men at Alcatraz
	2003 Sep 25	Learned Sea	When halfway through swimming the channel
	2001 Nov 17	Leave Meetings Behind	A slice of bread, varinshed with wax,
	2001 Nov 20	Lechery's Appraisal	I loved her hazel eyes so much
	2002 Nov 27	Lechery's Not a Primary Foodstuff	Some alphabetty spaghetti
	2004 Sep 7	Left Handed And Concealed In Murky Allusions	Is it such a sin to lust
	2003 Sep 18	Legacy of Homey Charms	I would hardly complain that loudly to be compared with Frost
	2000 Jun 12	Lemmings Explode When Roped To Dynamite	Please help me grease my hamster said the Queen
	2003 Oct 27	Lemon Feet	Your limpet grasp gives me no rest
	1997 Mar 23	Lemur Song Unsung	From leprechaun to Lancer
	2002 Nov 23	Lent Spent in Clapton	Canons to the right of me, and deacons to the left
	2002 Jul 17	Lent Without Sister Amelia	A slice of cake, soaked in madeira,
	2001 Nov 17	Lenten Orgy	A pint of gin to steel the nerves
	2005 Sep 4	Leonine Mellinger Pronounces Herself Destitute	This Plasticene®'s Jurassic, don't you know?
	2006 Feb 22	Lesbian Cookbook Virtues	Call your mother now and then
	2001 Dec 18	Lesbians of Yesteryear	The Crossbill, famed in Nordic lore
	2004 Oct 13	Lest We Forge Biscuits For Orphaned Presidents	Mildenhall; I choose to doubt
	2007 Mar 15	Lest We Forge Unwitting Jubilation	These brinks on which we teeter
	2004 May 13	Lest We Forgive Without Forgetting	For the gloom that follows fire
	2003 Sep 9	Let The Litmus Decide	It's time we rearranged the border
	2003 Oct 10	Let's	U LKE 2 HIKU?
	2002 Oct 4	Let's Beat Up Apsley	A cardboard egg tastes just as good
	2001 Nov 22	Let's Have Time to Fondle	Being a tomato-knife
	2003 Nov 17	Let's Ride Away And Begin Again Without Shame	Should one great leader cross the sea
	2006 Jun 16	Lettuce For Sodomy	A beach-ball and a pancreas
	2003 Sep 20	Licensed to Kill Everything	Moneypenny's not a happy bunny
	2005 Jan 23	Lichens	Just dethrone me, once per week,
	2007 Mar 6	Lichfield Parkway Mumble	Hail, Nervosa Trollop
	2003 Aug 22	Licks For Kicks	With the first light of dawn, the great armies gather
	2002 Jun 25	Life Doesn't Fester	Responsibility for life on earth
	2002 Dec 3	Life-Threatening Tuesday Mornings	Where is fester? What is he?
	2003 Jul 19	Lifecycle: Forlorn Flapping	How blithely do we misuse this site and yet it does deserve it
	1997 Mar 30	Lifeless Sheds	We were down to obsolete zero
	2002 Mar 10	Lift-off! (Red Umbrellas)	The conical nose had been smeared with strawberry jam:
	2001 Aug 22	Light Grey Sunshine	Groatweed grows by every verge
	2004 Jul 7	Lighthouse Magic	It came upon the midnight clear
	2003 Sep 25	Lightning Ignites My Secret Beard	Precipitous whiskers
	2003 Nov 13	Like Butterflies Don't	So many little fluffy things
	2003 Jul 17	Like the Inner Feathers of Earth	How frothy do these suds appear
	2003 Aug 25	Lilliputians - My Play on Their Set	Lilliputians in my lap
	2004 Dec 24	Limblessly Effortless	Up here we no longer have a need . . . for thumbs
	2003 Oct 21	Limerick About a Trout	Let us now swim in Lake Erie
	2002 Aug 2	Limerick Folly	The funny thing is, remarked Fred
	2003 Aug 7	Limerick Whore	Limerick Funfest
	2000 Dec 4	Limpopo Cocktail	Rivals, fourteen inches high,
	2002 Dec 24	Lincoln's Curry Riders	The plenitude of earthly thoughts
	2006 Jul 1	Lingerie Throughout	Now harken to a tale so vile
	2003 Jul 28	Lips You can Kiss	I should've screwed old what's her name
	2004 May 7	Liquid Never Flinches	So plaintively you ask if this
	2001 Nov 13	Lithuania Accepts Barclaycard Again!	The cabbage roared to see the mouse
	2007 Apr 12	Little Claimed	Cakes of soap, or cheese with cake,
	2003 Nov 10	Little Extremes Of Bedtime Cocoa	Shorter than the shortest book
	2004 Jan 25	Little Holly Sat Upon Her	I'm the only gay in the village
	2005 Jul 1	Liturgically Challenged Papists Vainly Seeking Pomp	Her velvet trousers, on the bed
	2002 Sep 14	Loaf Mumbles Loaf	Punished for his extra ears
	2003 Oct 15	Lobbyists In Spoonland	Reverend Spooner, twice a day,
	1997 Sep 14	Lockjaw Imminent	Dead as any dodo
	2006 Feb 24	Lodestar Of The Ballooning Nurse	We changed your appointment
	2003 Oct 13	Loincloths of Hickory	Some folks like a formula
	2003 Nov 11	Londoners In Vegas	Another buck; the symbols spin
	2003 Dec 15	Loneliness Corrupted By Fishes	Homesick while at home--candles melt like promises
	2003 Aug 28	Long Unbidden Melody	Wine and women, women and song
	2003 Jul 17	Longing	Oh, my God, it never ends
	2006 Jul 18	Longing For The Oligarch	Fun time for Natasha
	2004 Apr 24	Longingly Depend	Whilst figuring out how to untie his shoes
	2002 Nov 4	Longings for Celibacy	How hideous the passion!
	2003 Feb 7	Longings Unknown to Science	Why should I ration
	2006 May 29	Longshoremen Fit Only For Nightmares	We've gathered together today
	2003 Jul 31	Look Askance	Little girl, look in the window. What do you, what do you see?
	2003 Oct 1	Look, No Anatomy!	I looked at my feet and to my surprise
	2004 Jan 26	Looking Good Backwards	Where are the songs of yesteryear?
	2004 Apr 26	Looking Lively And Feeling Crap	Can this be it? Can Spring be here?
	2003 May 1	Looters	Alas! The Golden Treasury has been looted
	2003 Jul 28	Lost Lies Under	Under the covers, bodies move
	2001 Apr 29	Lost Meanings of Turkestan	Show me a mirror and I'll
	2004 Jun 22	Lotteries Bring Us Little Snowdrops	Divest yourself of all your wealth!
	2006 May 4	Louse, Louise	Feasting on the gouts of blood
	2003 Jul 26	Love Awkwardly	If I fell in love with you
	2006 May 10	Love For A Piglet	Nobody comes, nobody goes
	2002 Jan 18	Love Icily Visible	Bones and twigs and a perilous ascent
	2005 Jul 6	Lucy In Torment	Pastry-forks were just the thing -
	2004 Nov 30	Lunar Love-fest	We hear you're taking a trip to the moon
	2003 Jul 19	Lunar Sunsets	That moon is not an aspirin
	2004 Dec 1	Lurching Balloons	Please release me
	2003 Aug 20	Lurking in The	Play it again, Kansas Sam
	2003 Dec 18	Lyrics To Kill The Bliss Of Heart-throbs	Her tortured lip was dripping blood
	2004 Jun 26	M 32 Road Movie	These old molluscs, bought for tea, inscribe
	2002 Sep 24	Machine Coffee: Grounds for Divorce	Estimate the water's depth
	2002 Jan 3	Mackenzie is Certainly Faster	All the lonely people
	2003 Jul 18	Madness	When all the world is going mad
	2004 Jan 17	Madwoman, Me?	She's come undone--her valium useless as mythical gods
	2004 Jun 30	Maidens Irritated When Their Purity Runs Out	A thesaurus was stoned to death, a diction'ry was raped,
	2003 Sep 26	Mail-Room Mystery	A weakness for detail
	1998 May 4	Majestically Behavioral	The bilious fishwife was covered in stew,
	1999 May 8	Major Karamazov's On Call	Cooler than the outer wall
	2001 Jan 15	Making Nuns	Sheila was my first love, and she was just a hake
	2003 Sep 23	Making the Tide Wet	I once had to wrestle a bear
	2006 Jul 31	Malodorous Relatives By Night	A grave is not a flowerbed
	2003 May 17	Management Facilitates, Managers Collide	Complacent as a senator
	2003 Aug 8	Management Evoked	How do you feel about Life?
	2002 Oct 11	Manifested	Perhaps I'm not so odd
	2003 Oct 30	Manure Can	Ovegiously, he blarks the heen
	2003 Aug 6	Many Small Wonders for Royalty	Poor Peter was three inches high
	1999 Oct 25	Map of the Primitive Song	Sleep, curly savage, on the forest floor.
	1998 Jun 7	Marching with Redemption Balloons	Like spoons they lie, a front to back,
	2001 Aug 10	Marinade Your Partner Daily	His passion was a restless sort
	2006 Jul 28	Market Anomalies Perpetrated By Emily Dickens	Because I could not stop for Lunch
	2003 Jul 24	Markup Over Sense	Come
	2002 Feb 11	Marmot Receipts Multiply	The terebinth was singing, but its words were quite obscure -
	2004 Apr 29	Marmots Roam Willy-nilly Across Naked And Glistening Tundras	Make love to me as if you'd spent
	2004 Mar 24	Marrows Away	This choice of relish was not of the best,
	1998 Nov 18	Marrying Kine	In this ballet, cochineal
	2004 Feb 13	Martyrs To The Biscuit Guardians	The bilemonger's bill
	2003 Oct 23	Mary Marmalade And Very Tasty Puppies	I make them go fast
	2003 Oct 19	Mary, Nary, Oh-So-Scary	"I never think when I can talk,"
	2000 Mar 17	Mask of the Herald	Her sharp mouth, again,
	2004 Oct 22	Massacred By Melting Geology	My foot is stuck; I cannot move
	2005 Jul 22	Mated By Happenstance	A fledgling wasp once took the time
	2001 Aug 9	Matrimony is Hegemony, not Patrimony	She's all to me, and little more
	2002 Nov 26	Matter, Not Marmite	Burnt his fez upon the pyre?
	2000 May 16	Matters Heretical	In Spring
	2003 Aug 5	May I Apply for this Job?	On the morning of the seventh day of May
	1997 Mar 5	Maya's Misty Watercolor Blues	As Maya turned the page
	1998 Jan 21	Maybe Mercury Speaks	Scared of every footfall
	2002 Apr 15	Maybe Not the Frozen Finger-Print	Jemima was a nurse-maid
	2004 Jan 29	Mayoral Heart-throbs	A burst of poignant doctrine
	2001 Aug 1	McBoreal's Adventure	Hamish McBoreal? The spaniel from the Glens?
	2003 Aug 4	Mean Words	When words cannot convey
	2000 Nov 22	Meanwhile, Back Under the Duvet...	A kangaroo tried in a wallaby court
	2004 May 24	Meaty Beaty Big And Bonsai	Sausage, when the time is right
	2003 Jul 19	Melodies by Journeymen	Moving softly through the symphony
	2003 Aug 15	Melons In December	I like bananas, because they have no bones
	2000 Jan 5	Melt-Down Happens Nightly	'Well, stap me vitals!' swore William Hague:
	2003 Oct 14	Melted Rectories of Nyum-Nyum	On vacation, I saw a most Marvel-ous cave
	2002 Apr 14	Melting Pot Ritual	A caramel pig once sat on the throne
	2001 Feb 17	Membrane One (Laughing Hoop)	If Joan of Arc wasn't a zombie
	2003 Aug 18	Memories Sleep With You	This is the strangest place
	2006 May 15	Men Without Equations	Are you prepared to reveal
	2003 Aug 7	Menthols for Dinosaurs	Do not go husky into that bad flight
	2002 Mar 13	Menu, Unaware of Lurking	I can't abide a burnt-up pie
	2004 Aug 20	Meringue-laden Exclamations	At this time, most every day,
	1999 Dec 31	Merlin's Legendary Lost Oaths	My daughter! My daughter! the old wizard cried
	2005 Oct 20	Mermaids Sighing Affidavits	Harold Pinter, author of Betrayal,
	2003 Jul 17	Merry Googling	On the first day of Google, my search term was to be
	2004 Feb 27	Messages For Sandwichmen	We scaled it down
	2003 Oct 2	Metamorphosis: You Cave In	Your chakra throbs with crystal chi
	1997 Nov 6	Michaelangelo's Lewd Little Brother	Frequently, my brother speaks
	2004 Mar 3	Middle Victorian	The generals are born again
	1999 Jun 28	Midsummer Fails Everyone	Mellow jazz oozes from the speakers
	2004 Mar 24	Milk Manoeuvres	Free, with every Guernsey cow
	2003 Nov 4	Milk Shouting Louder	This bottle of grease is empty!
	2003 Sep 21	Milkround	Whoremongers, rumormongers, mongers galore
	2003 Aug 28	Millipede Stain	When saturation takes its toll
	1997 Jul 23	Mind My Forgotten Puddleduck	This overbearing convoy
	2004 Nov 18	Mine Or Not To Be	Your clone is a much better lover
	2005 Jul 25	Mine Shaft Mendicants, Their Oath	If I told you how I feel
	2003 Sep 22	Minstrels Really Know	The Troubadour was travelling, his merry band in tow
***	1996 Dec 26	Misadventures Without Misconduct	The travails of my giroscope
	2001 Oct 2	Misconduct With Whosoever Chooseth	Welcome to the conversation
	2003 Nov 19	Misconstruing Hullabalooing	When shining shoes, you really must
	2003 Aug 22	Misery Trains	Bill stood in Charing Cross looking at the departure board
***	2003 Nov 27	Misplaced Devotion	Follow the players all over the globe
	2001 Jul 20	Misspelt Youth Syndrome	A saucer of sour milk for my companion!
	2003 Aug 9	Mistakes Always	Oh me oh my
	2003 Dec 15	Misuse Of That Darn Animal	Don't wear a cat for a hat
	2002 Jan 7	Mitochondrial Ne'er-do-wells	Carved in frozen gasoline
	2003 Dec 1	Mittens Disturb	Items that do not give offence
	2002 Sep 9	Mix My Chickens	Torn off a strip
	2003 Sep 23	Mix My Soul with Potions Metaphysical	Words enfold me, winged things
	2003 Aug 8	Mizzen Manhood	On board the good ship Mary Jane
	2004 Jan 9	Möbius Dancing	A cannon-ball into the pool
	1997 Feb 16	Modish Qualms	I name this dead wasp 'Halitosis'
	2006 Jun 12	Monday Present	Before you read the second line
	2005 Sep 4	Monetarists	In flowerdome five
	2003 Nov 4	Monster Showtime	Oh, the claws, they should not be
	2003 Aug 20	Moooon	Moon bars, moonbeams, mooning honeymooners
	2004 Jan 27	Mops Our Fevered Explorer Cannot Display	So... slate wiped clean, whereto from here?
	2003 Sep 29	Morbid Obsessions With Broccoli	My imagination runs a little wild at times
	2004 May 1	More Coal Please. Vicar	She's known as Nell, down in Camberwell
	1996 Dec 16	More Heretical Bombast	At Hampton Wick
	1997 Feb 28	More Paraffin for my PerpetualApprentice	The sun and moon kiss in the light of day
	2003 Sep 9	More Sweepings	Maybe now, or maybe later
	2003 Aug 4	Morning	Waking up at sparrow's fart
	2003 Jul 22	Morning is Dead	Awake ye slumberers, and greet the day
	2003 Jul 17	Mosquitos Hatched by Homework	Bill bought broken bric-a-brac
	2003 Oct 15	Most Even-Handed Definition	impeccable: Can not be pecced
	2003 Aug 13	Mother One	Mother Theresa sported a wart
	2003 Sep 25	Mother-in-law with Oregano	My mother-in-law, my mother-in law
	2004 May 12	Motherhood In The Pasture	Diapering tushies is really a bummer
	2003 Oct 28	Mouldy Hiccough	It
	2002 Jul 23	Mouldy, They Said	That artichoke they gave me
	2003 Mar 11	Mountainous Piques	What God did on the seventh day
	1997 Sep 2	Mozart once wrote the longest andleastenjoyable limerick ever to darken anthologiesof versification	Domestic bliss
	2002 May 13	Mr Leather Roasted Little Squid	What dire offence from am'rous causes springs
	2000 Jul 22	Mr Stilton Stalks The Underground	As I was going up the stair, I met a froglet tall and square.
	2002 Oct 22	Mr. And Mrs Kruschev's Treasured Collection of Victorian Iron Pullovers	Benjamin Braddock got carried away
	1997 Jun 28	Mudwoman, repent!	Life for a girl is a sensual map
	2003 Sep 22	Mugged	Coffee mugs are breeding grounds
	2003 Sep 4	Mugging For Pennies	"The proof is in the pudding," or so I've heard it said
	2003 Jul 17	Mukluks Sometimes	My own dear love does seldom fart
	2003 Jul 17	Mushroom	Galumphing through the daisy field
	1999 Jan 24	Music Shadows Repetitively	An amphora of Egyptian darkness
	1998 Jan 30	Music, Unless...	While I was walking my dog on the moon
	2004 Mar 3	Musical Accomplishments Involving Instruments Of Zinc	It's fine to play the didgeridoo, but please not in the office loo
	2003 Aug 27	Must Pups Melt Their Carpet?	The pups are gamboling again
	2001 Aug 7	Mutable, Suitable, Inscrutable	Hidboult was a wanderer
	2006 May 24	Mute Soup And Memory Faded	I met a man whose nose extended
	2000 May 8	My Articulate Cucumber Says	Teasing and tempting is naughty Nanette
	2004 Mar 1	My Aunt's Astonished Parakeet	Repetition twenty-fold is what I really crave
	1998 Dec 2	My Bahnhof Godparent	Carve this thought upon the bark
	2003 Sep 18	My Blotter	The ink was barely dry upon the page
	1999 Mar 23	My Boatswain's Left Baboon	A third knee is a mighty boon
	2004 Jul 1	My Cardboard Mother	Dressing as a helicopter
	2003 Sep 25	My Confession	‘Screech Screech’, screeched the cat
	2003 Oct 22	My Corduroy Mariner, Correspondingly	With skin as pale as honesty
	2007 Mar 21	My Desire Seldom Lights My Desire	Rainbow bright across the loch
	1999 Feb 4	My Earliest Barnacle-Busting Memory	Count to ten, then start again
	1997 Jan 4	My Favorite Plunderings	'Twas a frothy foam upon the wake
	2002 Jan 30	My Finite and Fastidious Friend	This time, I shall follow my leader
	2000 May 17	My French Bananas Of Unbounded Magnificence	When teaching Granny to suck eggs
	1998 Jun 30	My funicular cutlets, redeemed	The Green Joy made the Queen wet with dew
	1997 Mar 25	My Gallic Endorsements	'I wonder', mused the conqueror, 'why lemons seldom sing'
	2000 Nov 23	My goodness... my gumboot	Apsley wrote a novel about a small baboon
	2003 Sep 2	My Guts Reek	Good Morning, Mr. Soap!
	2003 Jun 21	My Habitat of Unkempt Mincemeat	Coconuts are hard to peel
	2000 Feb 16	My Hamster, Utterly Exhausted By Trepanning	I sing of beauty and a boy's endeavour
	2002 May 15	My Helium Pancakes Notwithstanding	When I consider how my light is spent,
	1997 Jan 12	My Ingot Balloon	Translations of ancient words,
	2003 Oct 8	My Least Best Failing	The restrooms here are fairly clean
	2002 May 8	My Lion-hearted Friend Edgar	The tiger hunting in the dusk
	2003 Jan 3	My Liverpool Lament	Percival the scouse louse
	2001 Sep 5	My Mendacious Honey	I lie to you always, as sugar to spice
	2003 Sep 22	My Misadventures Began in Cleveland	Inaccurate, like any map
	2000 May 3	My Nightly Righteous Ferment	I think that I shall never see
	2002 Nov 19	My No Nonsense Dream	A Roland and an Oliver!
	2001 Jul 29	My Oceanic History	A waterfall, in which the whale
	2003 Aug 4	My Other Lifetime was a Thing Foregone	A mothball larger than the sun
	2003 Nov 10	My Painful Bass	Come an' listen to a story 'bout a man named Jake
	2005 Jul 12	My Priapic Milestone	Coddled mushrooms, all a-simmer,
	2003 Sep 29	My Puckered Times	Uncork the bottle and light a cigar
	2000 Dec 23	My Raving Virgin	A perfect wedding in the snow
	1999 Jul 18	My Slapdash Endgame	A Cautionary Tale
	2004 Apr 25	My Slide Transmission	Another Red poem commences
	2000 Mar 6	My Smothered Haggis	Cut away, cut away
	2000 Oct 19	My Song of Glass	Sleep darkly in your mellow haze my love,
	1998 Jan 31	My Soothsayer's Impeachment	Emblems of the regal scorn
	2003 Nov 24	My Special Nosebag	If falling stars had parachutes
	2005 Sep 1	My Third Empire	In this haystack, L. P. Hartley
	2004 Jan 28	My Toe Is Now Swollen Again	That fellow, Othello, could not be called mellow
	2000 Apr 27	My Undoing	When I was young and fancy free
	2000 Apr 9	My Warning Ignored	Arabella Spommit wrote her cup-size on a mouse
	2000 Oct 3	My Zebra Toes	The stillness of the day, the ceaseless hum
	1999 Dec 7	Mythical Piscator	I talk to herring in the dark when no one is around
	2003 Dec 16	Mythical Quest	In days of yore, when dragons roamed the world
	1998 Mar 11	Nabobs and Frumps	OH! FEY! Cried the winged eel fingerling,
	2003 Oct 6	Nailing Lips To My Umbrella	The lipstick factory: kick down the door
	1999 Feb 20	Naked Globe	Rosemary...comfrey... cammomile tea,
	2003 Aug 4	Naked Halluciantions of Night	Madness and despair have haunted me
	2004 Oct 12	Namedroppers' Tango	Several times you've baked a cake
	2000 Jun 9	Nanette Newman's Naughty Knickers Say "Oh! Oh! Oh!	There was a young man from Kilbride
	2005 Feb 16	Nantucket Disappointment	There was a young man from Nantucket
	1998 Jan 1	Narrow Trousers in Pimlico	When the wallet of the wealthy with fivers stiff is stuffed
	2001 Jan 10	Nasty, Nasty	The gremlins in my kitchen make
	2002 Feb 17	National Gnu Stun Atrophy	It was on just a night such as this
	2000 Oct 15	Naturally We're Coughing	Who comes to answer Pity's call?
	2004 Sep 21	Nature And Delight Worn Out	We are the Corporation
	2003 Oct 18	Naughtiness As Can	I once knew a good sick ducker
	2003 Aug 17	Naughty Sonnet	Oh how I loathe thee let me count the ways
	2004 Aug 14	Naughty Thoughts Are Always Parochial	How fetching you look, Miss Sipple
***	2006 Mar 9	NB: In Memoriam	The blackest of shields by the light of the moon
	2000 Nov 3	Neapolitan Bore	Galisha ga-galoosha
	2004 Feb 25	Near Creepy Cow Lane	The last time I polkaed with Ted
	2001 Aug 20	Near the Symbolist Palace of Atrocities	We start our tale outside a German wood
	2003 Jun 16	Necessary foreign horrors	I trimmed that lean bazooka
	2007 Jan 11	Neck Up Fatty	Plates of goulash, on the deck,
	2002 Mar 5	Negating	A waltz a day is not enough
	2000 Feb 2	Negative Elbow	Champion of the photograph
	1997 Aug 15	Negligee Vector	The man who vilifies my tent
	2003 Aug 26	Negligent Daleks Give Us A Passable Flamenco	I'd offer you a crumpet,
	2005 Sep 6	Neolithic Muesli	Grizzled, in a state of tears,
	1999 Apr 9	Neoplastic Ha'penny	My parachute has broken and I don't know how to fall
	2004 Jun 1	Nepalese Danceuse Observed Using Stun-guns	Behold the scold:
	2000 Mar 9	Neptune's Missing Noonday Umbrellas Of Blossom	The photo showed the final phase
	2003 Dec 17	Nesting Penguins Throughout Asia Minor	I can't believe I left the grass in my pocket
	1998 Jul 27	Neugierig, oder?	der Reim lernt eine neue Sprache
	1999 Feb 22	Never Knowingly Charmed	Unskilled workers toil wordlessly
	2003 Nov 23	Never Knowingly Renounce Walk-on Parts	A small incision in the chest-wall
	2007 Mar 9	Never Meant to Harm	A nasturtium, rambling fine and crunchy,
	1997 Aug 29	Never Once Promising To Underestimate Buns	Over the choppy leather line
	2003 Jul 19	Never Reaches Glory	My eyelashes are black
	2003 Aug 6	Never Wake, But Often Dreams	A bleeding broken heart
	2000 Jun 1	Never, Scarcely Ever	Give me bowls of carrots in the sunrise that is grey
	2006 Aug 10	Never. Should We Windsurf	Don't forget to tie your shoes
	2000 Jun 20	Nevertheless, Nuke the French	Each time I use the word 'defer'
	2003 Aug 6	New Battles for Deceit	You stood trembling
	2000 Jan 14	New, Tidier Pixies	The stately tread of centuries has just assailed our ears
	2003 Sep 24	Night Before Time Immoderate	in the darkness of the night
	2006 Aug 23	Night From Midnight	The Gates of Ivory and Horn
	2006 Jun 16	Night Thoughts	When o'er the willows whipporwills
	1998 Jan 27	Night's Temporary Wrists	Carefully, she folds the fish
	2003 Jul 17	Nightlong Battles	Once upon a time a whore
	2004 Aug 4	Nightly Coal Kimono	These cosy virtuosi
	2003 Aug 1	Nightmares in a Mind Overtaken by Madness After Sleepless Days and Nights	If you had but one final chance
	2003 Jul 23	Nighttime Paddling	The sky was dark, and rain was falling
	2003 Jul 18	Nighttown	On a night in september, 1982
	2003 Jun 22	Nile Feather Death Trip	Her upper arms; mine eyes alighting
	1998 Jun 3	Nine Beatles Glimpsing Salvation	There was, perhaps, a waving arm,
	2000 Nov 27	Ninepenny Lithuanians - A Rhapsody	Cashier, change this love-note
	2003 Jul 20	Nippising	There was a strange lad from Ontario
	2004 Jan 3	Nipple Tussock	I did it for the sake of her
	2003 Sep 1	Nirvana in Daylight	I think I'll tiptoe over there
	2003 Sep 22	Nirvana of Cleopatra	I made my peace with destiny and fate
	2005 Oct 14	No Carborundum	Moving twice
	2001 Jan 1	No Cat's Trousers	Pelting down the motorway, with my wheels of fire,
	2003 Oct 30	No Fry-up For Presidents	Jacques Chirac would eat no snack
	2003 Jul 29	No More Edible Pope	(limerick) There was an old lady from Wales
	1998 Mar 9	No Parsley for Matilda's Fruitcake	By chance, are you going my way?
	2006 Jun 12	No Peppermint Drops	The clouds are filled with bicycles
	2005 Dec 8	No Thanks, Kenneth	Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
	2000 Feb 7	No Thinner Knot	Casually, through the wall
	2003 Oct 30	No Way to the Afterlife	I wonder: is it worth the time?
	2003 Sep 2	No Week Planner	Monday's light brought dreams of birth
	2004 Feb 23	No, Angels Shouldn't	To cling, once more, to selfsame forms
***	2001 Aug 12	Noah often said that it was lucky to stick herrings to trees	The rain poured down; the waters rose,
	2006 Jan 10	Nobody Shaves Oswald	In search of the perfect asparagus
	1998 Mar 17	Nocturne by Insectlike Co-authors	Timely teal creeps
	2003 Jul 19	Nocturne Oy	In adamantine underpants the slavish sleeper slept,
	2004 Aug 17	Nomads Are Only Upright Hayseeds	Affectless nomads
	2004 Jan 15	Non-invasive Skins	A poem without the same old format
	2006 May 23	None Save The Meistersinger	First with the frost
	2002 Oct 15	Nonsense Sharpens Your Refrain	Hearlding a century of filth and gore,
	2003 Sep 27	Noodle Ingests Itself	Mumbles not heard on any Pink Floyd album:
	2001 Dec 23	Noontide Passion	The drips from his ten-gallon hat
	2003 Oct 26	Nope to Blog	Quasi blog
	2003 Nov 17	Nor Eric Nor Unshaven Shirts	Give a man sufficient rope
	2004 Jul 9	North-east Is Henceforth Banished	A globe for tea, crammed high with brine,
	2001 Dec 7	North-South Pedestrian Crossings	These suicides, who strut the streets
	2001 Aug 9	Nostalgia for Breakfast - And Blue Sky	I wish I were in Ngunnawal again
	2005 Aug 12	Nostrils, Each	Despite a severe anaesthetic
	2006 Mar 9	Not A Proper Postman	More of me, and less of you
	2004 Oct 8	Not Allowed In Our Picnics	A tide of rash assumptions
***	1997 Jan 24	Not Enough Sodium	Transubstantiation
	2003 Jul 30	Not For Edification	Of brooding springs, and hooting rocks
	2002 Oct 3	Not Lovers	Ventriloquists with salmonella
	2007 Jan 21	Not Nubile, Not Shadows	Curves aplenty, on the bed,
	2004 Sep 14	Not Princeton, Nor Any Other Halls Of Improvement	As with gladness men of old
	2003 Oct 2	Not Their Fault At All, Really	When down-and-outs start trading shins
	2004 Aug 27	Not What It Seems	Back at the beginning
	2003 Aug 21	Not Yet Nice Enough	Aussie rock lyric challenge
	2002 Apr 12	Nothing Bought With Eurocheques, I Imagine	Why can't the wicked inherit the Earth?
	2004 Mar 9	Nothing But Extra Famine	Whilst walking on the darkling path
	2006 Aug 1	Nothing But Our Static Senses	The Witch-Queen wrought an awful curse:
	2004 Sep 16	Nothing But The Very Onerous Consumption Of Desire	This rare dark beauty doth my heart inspire
	2005 Mar 29	Nothing More Redundant Than Thought	Stagnation, degradation
	2004 Jun 16	Nothing More Tangible For Hillmen	Reticence, the virtue of the fool
	2003 Nov 27	Nothing Percolates Like Treacle	Have you ever thought of peppering your toes?
	2004 Jan 20	Nothing Will Prevail After The Neutrino	I think to make a piece of toast
	2005 Feb 18	Novelistic Leaflets	Russell Hoban, King of Thrace,
	2003 Jun 30	Now Repercussions Don't Hibernate	You asked for a list of excuses,
	2003 Aug 7	Nowhere in Particular (Man Talking)	On the Road to Nowhere
	2002 Mar 14	Nowhere Quickly Pales	When the last train left the station
	1999 Mar 7	Nubility One	The death's-head watched and waited,
	2003 Jul 18	Numbers Irrational	One hundred and seventy four point six
	2003 Oct 10	Numerous Wonderlands	Four-and-twenty blackbirds
	2004 Apr 29	Nuns Betray Our Laxative Supplies	Incantations - dead of night -
	2004 Aug 23	Nuptial Mishaps With Long Knives	A young anthropologist cried
	2004 Apr 18	Nursery Rhymes for Lawyers, Juries and Judges	Arnold Berry, quite contrary,
	2003 Nov 13	Oak-worm Veneer Heathcliff	Curtains for the front of house
	1997 Mar 24	Obelisk: Confusion	That karaoke chaos
	2001 Aug 13	Obsoletely and Ignominiously	When I was young, we had a cave
	2006 Jun 20	Occasionally He Thinks	Oh! So now you're telling me
	2001 Sep 13	Occasionally I Have Fallen Ill	When I was living with an elk
	2003 Jul 25	Oddments From the Bookstores	The shelving groaned with weight tomes
	2003 Jun 27	Oddments of the Blonde	The gypsy's skirts swirled like the leaves in the fall
	2001 Jan 15	Ode Scribbled Rudely by Lennon	A is for the alligators alcoholically inclined,
	2003 Aug 6	Ode to the Attic	Let us praise the humble ceiling fan.
	1998 Sep 27	Ode to the Laughter of my Pancreas	Who can fathom the rat's cunning ways?
	2003 Jul 17	Ode to the Televangelists	They
	2003 Jul 17	Odin Understands	I am seriously whacked
	2007 Feb 18	Of Not, Of Not	In the trysting parlour
	2003 Aug 4	Of Paisley	My wardrobe is my pride and joy
	2003 Jul 17	Of Rubrics	Persnickety wickets, aha!
	2004 Jan 28	Of Sailors And Their Ways	I'll tell you the tale of ham-handed Hannah
	1997 Dec 14	Of Struggling Poets and Pious Days	A ghastly mismeasure of woman,
	2006 Jan 26	Off Kilter	All is confirmed
	2000 May 29	Off Ovary Street	What baby spurns the cattle-grid
	2001 Jan 20	Offhand Emblem	If the captain's metaphysic
	2003 Nov 30	Often During Christmas	'Twas Christmas in the workhouse
	2003 Jul 22	Often Percolate	Whose clothes these are, I think I know,
	2004 Jun 2	Oftentimes Manet Tried Somersaulting Over Renoir	Lanky Hank was the tallest of Sherpas
	2003 Nov 20	Oh! Gosh They've Gone	Yup, they cleared the decks again
	2004 Nov 2	OK, Naysayer	Have you ever rode a Trojan horse?
	2003 Nov 13	Olympian Breakfasting	Venus came to Athens, thence from there to Rome,
	2004 Jan 22	Omicron Froat	My usual muse has gone for good
	2003 Jul 19	Omphalos	(haiku) Three rings on my nose
	2004 Jan 3	On A String Covered Ottoman	Mistaken for a crayfish
	2001 Dec 5	On Galvanizing Spartan Surfaces	The mouse crept closer to its goal
	1999 Dec 19	On Heat For Months	Away! Here's neither inn nor manger
	1997 Jul 7	On Knowing Little Tess	Her hair falls short of a pageboy's crop
	2002 Dec 12	On My Guff	Please sir, stand downwind from me.
	2002 Oct 3	On Pandora's Bonnet	Perhaps I should have told her, perhaps she should have seen
	2003 Sep 11	On The Toes	Ive just seen my feet for the first time in years
	2002 Nov 25	On Undies	Quality control for underwear,
	2000 Nov 26	Once Is Never Too Rarely	Once, just once, could someone let me know
	2001 Nov 22	Once Knighted, Twice Blighted, Thrice Sighted!	A wooden Gospel, baked as bone
	2004 Feb 16	Once Lithuania, Once	In a cave, on a mountain so high
	2000 Jan 7	Once Over Once Again	Three to one, three to one
	1998 May 2	Once We Devoured Magma	At last I have the chance to spread my wings and versify
	2003 Sep 26	Once You Forget My Name, A Strange Leathery Complexion Beckons	A man with a prong on his nose
	2004 Sep 12	One Apostate Fieldmouse Alone In All Conjecture	Ignorance, in former times
	1999 Dec 1	One Blonde Speaking After Silence	Like fish, attracted to a flame
	2003 Sep 2	One Cat for Every Lear	How blithely do the flivvers fly
	1998 Jun 10	One Daren't Expect More	The night we rode, the path we trod, we knew how it would end
	1997 Jul 9	One Last Later	Betrayed! The voyeur's curtain
	1998 Feb 19	One Last Lobster Seeking Re-election	Ride onwards, lads, a new-born day
	2003 Sep 11	One Less Day to Remember	Journal Entries
	1997 Sep 15	One moonbeam, undercooked	Three drops of cactus-water
	1998 Dec 13	One More Landscape	To renovate the galaxy
	2002 Jul 29	One Scourge Too Far From Home	Imagine that! My little cat
***	1997 May 22	One Smug Portillo, Timely Forgotten	These low and oily charmers
	2005 Sep 18	One Will Between Friends	In opting for a greyer black
	1998 Sep 30	One-note Symphony on the Sudden Revolution	From where will the words come?
	2003 Aug 28	Onions Can't Cry	I've far too much hair on my head
	2003 Aug 20	Only A Warthog Won't	Goofy Haikus
	2004 Jul 2	Only Fools Rush	Only a rose
	2002 Oct 28	Only if the Circle Turns	Such a cruel summer! On cool heaths
	1998 Mar 17	Only Ingrid Soothes This Eyeball	Your cobwebs (your cosmetics)
	2003 Nov 21	Only Known Criminals And Their Zebras	I think I saw an eagle fly across the Interstate
	2006 May 12	Only Lagging	At altitudes like these
	2004 Mar 19	Only Once Is More Than Twice Times Two	Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you
	2003 Nov 11	Only Our Gambits Shall	'Incontinence for all!'
***	1999 Jan 21	Only Transient Sheep	Hiatus and Hibiscus are the names of my two sheep
	2004 Mar 31	Onwards, Henrietta Dawson	I carry Hank, my freeze-dried hake,
	2004 Jan 18	Oompah Tuba	I hear you like to polka with clubfooted gals
	1999 Mar 6	Opacity's 22 Miraculous Beings	Silent in the midnight silence
	2003 Oct 2	Opinion Is Not A Occupation	If fish could scream
	1997 Mar 22	Orderly Insects Are Forecast	Small birds
	2003 Jan 24	Orfeo The Ineluctable	As lame as a fish
	1997 Sep 27	Ornamental William Golding Glimmmers in Void	Pretty, pretty hermit
	2001 Dec 21	Orphans Drinking Deftly	A glass of claret twice per day
	2001 Dec 14	Other Presentiments of Scoutmasters from Bothnia	Remembering his empty purse
	2003 Oct 21	Other Pubic Grindings	Ah, your onyx eyes and sequined purse
	1998 Jan 13	Other Shark-Infested Pillows	Seven cubed plus fourteen squared
	2004 Mar 26	Otherworldly Newsagent With Or Without Croutons	A surgeon addicted to soup
	2004 Jan 9	Otherworldly Stuff By Bob	Quentin Tarantino
	2003 Aug 3	Ounces of Hidden Obviousness	I got the "I Ain't Got Nuthin' to be Blue About" blues
	2007 Apr 11	Our Blessed Foolery Again	Neo® caught me unawares
	2003 Oct 16	Our Bombastic Parlour Pig	Terence wrote, when not in Thrace, a clutch of tearful plays
	2003 Oct 4	Our First Love We Denied	We fell into the ocean
	2003 Nov 24	Our Knoll Stroll	Where was JFK, the evening I was shot?
	2005 Sep 7	Our Leather-Bound Archipelago Swept Clean	Returning to my spawning-grounds
	2002 Sep 21	Our Lissom Laureate	When you wish upon a stoat
	2000 Nov 7	Our Mutinous Ukulele	Skiing down a snow-filled tunnel
	2001 Oct 1	Our Northern Weeds Notwithstanding	Outside the gates of Swindon
	2000 May 2	Our Nose, Once Bitten	The great thing about the verse compositions of Ogden Nash
	2001 Apr 25	Our Only Strawberry	Why me?
	2006 Feb 24	Our Road Is Hardly Justified	Put me through the paper shredder
	2006 Aug 24	Our Score Was Enough For Zeke	I went to Zeke's to buy some paint
	2003 Sep 2	Our Snotty Pim	I bought a cute puppet named Pim
	2005 Apr 26	Our Socratic Brethren Will One Morning Save The Welsh Unaided	Plato's grin did shame the sun
	2003 May 12	Our Sword Unsheathed by Metaphors	Rabid was the postman
	2005 Jul 29	Our Technocrats Under Duress	Strontium nitrate
	2000 Jun 12	Our Ugliest Newly-Weds Disgust Me	A feast of fumes, a feast of fumes
	2005 Mar 31	Our Vectors Ineptly Computed	Chucked up, chucked out
	2005 Apr 26	Our Welsh Brethren Confess	Rushing from the Laundromat®
	2004 Oct 6	Outlawed Haiku	This secret haven
	1998 Dec 1	Outlet-valve in preparation	If spring does not come
	2006 Jun 24	Outwardly Nubile	Let us go then, you and I
***	1997 Apr 30	Ovaltine Cannot Age My Kitten	Cracked, but half asleep
	2005 Feb 4	Over And Outhouse	Astride a blazing horse
	2005 Apr 12	Over Blighty Dipping	Men who pause
	2006 Jan 3	Over By The Time She Smells The Brie	Sunk by the Spanish Amanda
***	1999 Nov 1	Over-baked blossom	Now listen, please. I've brought you here
	2003 Aug 21	Overcome Heart	My life is like a mouse-trap
	2004 May 17	Oversight Of The Acrosticial	When any lowbrow tunesmith offers notes
	2003 Feb 11	Overtures Misunderstood	Why are men so damn complex?
	2002 Jun 17	Own Kempt Wonders	Once glutton, twice dry
	2003 Jul 24	Ownership for Men	This is dedicated to the one I love
	2003 Sep 1	Pablo The Optometrist's Friend	Picasso, in his early years,
	2003 Sep 11	Package Surprise, Not Surprise Package	Oft had I heard of Lucy Gray
	2005 Sep 21	Packed Without Any Discernible Entropy	The last was gone before its hour
	2004 Nov 9	Packing-case Diagrams	When all seems lost, all hope forlorn
	2003 Jul 18	Paid to End	When I find myself in times of trouble,
	2001 May 23	Palace Challenge to the Party	It's a noble bird, is your gannet
	2004 Feb 2	Pale Mutabilities Of Death In Wales	Forget them all, their necks, their eyes
	2001 Feb 16	Palfreyman In Switzerland	Doubled up with laughter, trebled up with woe
	2003 Nov 28	Palindromes, Madam?	Sex at one, Kate! Take no taxes
	2004 Jun 14	Palomar Mentors	Got Venus in my Transit
	2003 Oct 21	Pam Sandwiches, Pruriently Sliced	The millimetre: squat, unclean
	2001 Nov 16	Pancreatic Recreations	Her bashfulness, though not innate
	1998 Nov 25	Pandora's Boxing-glove	I never tire of asking
	2003 Aug 18	Pantoum of Brevity	Looking down through the shadows
	2003 Dec 17	Papal Disgust	If you lift a dog with a crane, will he count to infinity?
	2003 Aug 12	Paper Grasshoppers	The moon's a baloon, you know
	2003 Jul 27	Parental	"You smell bad, Father William," the young man said,
	2003 Jul 20	Paris Blemished	The last time I saw Paris
	2004 Jan 28	Parsec Progression Beyond	What are the odds
	2004 Dec 8	Parts That Require Frequent Calibration	A man once played my didgeridoo
	2003 Nov 7	Pastiche (Coconuts)	Palm trees are not known to thrive amid the snow
	2004 Jan 24	Paternity Proves Nothing	Crayfish, lobster, crab
	2004 Dec 9	Pathos During Moonsets	This wearisome drought
	2004 Aug 5	Patience Is Never Compared To Hopscotch	Is solitaire a virtue?
	2003 Sep 4	Paul never liked peace anyhow	Yes, haiku is back
	2003 Dec 29	Pay Cash For Everything Except Unguents	Late Christmas Eve the lot was dark, and so I filched a tree
	2002 Feb 4	Pay for Teddy-bears	By the black infernal Styx I sat
	2003 Jul 17	PC #22	Televised indignities, alas
	2003 Jan 30	Peace Comes Drivelling	We were a million strong and growing
	2003 Dec 23	Peaches En Famille	This mortal skull that looks on me
	2002 Nov 6	Peeping Tomcat	To drill through the crust of The Hague
	2005 Oct 23	Pending Further Guests	Does anybody come here any more?
	2002 Nov 15	Pension Rites After Sex	My metaphor is drawn from ice
	2003 Jul 26	People Ran for the Butter	"Relax", I say, but they never obey
	2004 Mar 23	Peptic Ulster	Later than the final hour
	2004 Aug 13	Perdition In Vitro	When I went to the bar as a very young man
	2005 Feb 9	Perfect Pitchers	Monosyllables
	2003 Jun 16	Perhaps	And I thought it might be morning
	2003 Oct 24	Perhaps You Think I'll Hide	A walk in the park is all very nice
	2003 Aug 30	Permanent Perdition	Have you ever felt vibrating oscillatons?Perhaps reverberating resonations?
	2004 Feb 17	Perpetual Hermeneutic Of Girl-Guides	When the pressure on our thinking
	1997 Mar 10	Perpetual Nestled Teacups	It's not my cup of tea
	2003 Sep 6	Persistent Fading	Chatting can be difficult
	2003 Jul 17	Persnickety Girls	I once saw a doctor in Dayton
	2003 Jan 27	Person or Thing Unknown	The first time I went to Iraq
	2003 Oct 2	Perspective Isn't All Unlikely	A tap on the spine
	2003 Jun 24	Perwinkle Trout Wrack	His boots were made of manta ray,
	2003 Mar 9	Pestilent Ploughshares, Deficient Turnips	These latter-day halfwits, invading the turf
	2003 Nov 15	Pets Are Not What They Seem	If every dog and every cat
	2004 Oct 22	Pharyngitis Spells Trouble	Unbridled is your sense of fear
	2002 Nov 28	Phenomenology for Carrots	My philosophy is very clear
	2003 Nov 28	Phew! Poodles!	Beans, beans, the musical fruit
	2003 Jul 19	Phew, Too	(haiku) I've forgotten much
	2004 Oct 30	Philately Tentacles	I'm off – be back by Thursday night
	2000 Mar 17	Philosophers Lacking Reason	When Kierkegaard was down-at-heel
	2004 Jan 22	Phoebe Married The Warmonger	Smell my squirty button-hole
***	2006 May 30	Phoenix, Bored	Is no-one here to waken me?
	2003 Aug 5	Phones and Windows	The phone is mute, a black hook
	2000 Aug 15	Phyllis, My Secret Squirrel	We met in Dublin, in disguise,
	2003 Aug 1	Pick You What	Whatchamacallit and thingamajig
	2003 Jun 18	Pickle My Creation	Welcome, fine folks, but please be more attentive!
	2003 Nov 15	Pickpockets, Rejoice!	Shall I invite you to a game of darts?
	2000 Apr 24	Picture This, My Chatelaine	Rembrandt, on his better days,
	2003 Sep 2	Pie Trappings	Nymphs and satyrs, centaurs and dryads
	2005 Dec 8	Piebald Cheques	'The first day of the rest of your life', they sang,
	2002 Jul 29	Piecemeal Premonitions	I saw Yehudi Menuhin
	2003 Dec 12	Pies And Astrolabes	Body-rot, on crocodiles
	2003 Jun 22	Pig Lint Hit	My blog is narcissistic, though its readers, voyeuristic,
	2003 Nov 7	Piggy And The Penguin Bankers	My head is full of fish, I fear
	2003 Aug 6	Piggy, Piggy, Here Comes Piggy	PIGGY WINGS
	2005 Feb 3	Piglet In Weymouth	To catch the dreaded Heffalump
	2000 Mar 15	Pigment Denial	Pigment
	2003 Aug 20	Pinaforesque	When I was a lad, I served my time
	2004 Feb 23	Pious Hens of Unknowing	What kind of men are these, with beards and balding pates?
	2004 Apr 24	Piquant Hostesses	Bowls of mustard lined the hall
	2003 Sep 20	Pirate Rhymes	There once was a pirate, Blackbeard
	2003 Nov 2	Pirates And Self-Loathing	A pattern is emerging
	2004 Nov 1	Plane Of Placenta	Tribulation, fear and woe
	2003 Jul 21	Planets of Repeated Sincerity	(limerick) There was a young maiden from Venus
	2000 May 22	Plangent Daily Wailing	Cadences so swift and deft that man could hardly follow
	2004 Sep 1	Plans For Nobody	Andromeda, I cry to thee
	2005 Feb 24	Plans For Vacillation	I think I might go out today
	2005 Sep 24	Platonic Scooter Or Worse	Banish poets? To The Pole?
	2005 Jan 19	Plausibly Roguish	A subpoena has been issued (you were asking for it)
	2003 Jun 24	Playland Smack	Raggedy-Ann has a heroin habit
	2003 Jul 18	Please Don't Try	I wish to call attention
	2004 Dec 9	Please Let Us Pronounce Each Syllable Better	One for the money, two for joy
	2003 Jan 8	Please Not Sideways, Arabella	Dreary as a paper towel
	2003 Aug 14	Please Pass the Wrestler	It is an ancient wrestler
	2003 Nov 17	Pleasingly Cyclical	In the evening came the cycles
	2005 Nov 18	Pleasure for Godmothers	Buckets of slime
	2003 Sep 22	Plunder of the Phigosia	I have dined with the Gods, and yet
	2007 Feb 15	Plutarch, Amnesia Abroad	Grievances and Remonstrance are my middle names
	2003 Oct 8	Plutarchs Anthill Blues	When flying on a jumbo jet
	2003 Nov 11	Poem Against The Removal Of Divided Teeth	Remember, sir, when spooning with your bill
	2003 Aug 5	Poetry Alloys	When composing a poem, one must
	2003 Jul 25	Poetry and Excess	There was a man from Timbuktu
	2003 Dec 1	Poetry Means Never Having To Wink	Puerile and dull is the Limerick form
	2003 Oct 2	Poets - We're Belligerent To A Fault	Poets fight with words and not with swords
	2003 Dec 12	Poets Into Beasts	I know what it's like to be a poet.
	2004 Dec 31	Pointless Goodness	"The End is near!" the Bellman cried
	2001 Jun 20	Pointless Noses	A pound of cheese is just the stuff
	2003 Oct 30	Pointy Sticks With Hats	Shall I compare thee to an Autumn's day?
	2003 Aug 27	Pole Bank Frippery	The long haul to Christmas has started today
	2000 May 18	Polemic Polarity	Hamstrung by a woollen noose
	2003 Aug 14	Pollyanna Has Mugged Me	Like a small child in a candy store
	2000 Jan 31	Pontifex Caught Under Bridges	Though drowning in the vat, I can
	2003 Oct 24	Poor Child Roland	How he dawdles! Watch the steps
	2005 Mar 17	Poor Semblance Of Artistic Metaphors	Prodigiously attractive
	2004 Aug 27	Poorly Bohemians After Supper	An escapee from sanity: that's me
	2007 Apr 11	Pop Goes My Rotten Hamster	A dozen spindly orphans
	2003 Dec 3	Popcorn Of The French	When tapdancing down the Champs Elysees
	2004 Jan 22	Porcine Tales By Granddaddy	I've got a brand new bathroom
	2004 May 17	Pork Beam Custard	Palpably encoded in the Turing mould
	2006 May 30	Pork-pie Hatred In Stoke	I hefted bricks of twenty pounds
	1997 Oct 31	Possible Idolaters in a Black Throat	In all my vast concerns
	2000 Nov 24	Possibly Wasting My Days	Longshot: five apostles
	2006 Apr 4	Powers That Remain Potent	A night of perfect chaos
	2003 Sep 24	Practise The Birdy	At the crack of day when the baby birds do sing
	2003 Nov 5	Pray For Dinner	Another web, another fly, another day has wrapped - yet I
	1998 Mar 22	Prayer Wheel Poker	Carpenter's, my only hope,
	2004 Nov 29	Predicated Upon Juvenile Ignorance	The bishop, in his water-wig
	2004 Jan 14	Prefaces Are Lovely	Let us be pretentious, erudite, utilizing abstruse references, esoterica
	2004 Jan 1	Prejudices Coming To Your Local Works Canteen	Said aged King Lear
	2005 Sep 27	Prematurely Concluded	Envoi
	2003 Aug 4	Prey Letters	I wandered lonely as a clod
	2002 Jul 18	Professor Branestawm Finally Succumbs	This so-called portrait of the Bard
	2003 Oct 26	Profit and the Usual Umbrage	Lest we profit from the slides
	2004 May 26	Profit From Jaaaaazzzzzzzz	When any lowbrow tunesmith offers notes
	1997 Dec 14	Promising A Macrocosmic Disaster	If Dusseldorf were Dusseldorf
	2004 Dec 9	Prone To Tautologies	Of sacred cows and catered sows
***	1998 Oct 22	Propose The Impossible	Jemima: take this catapult
	1997 Mar 10	Proposition (The Metaphysical Routine)	The end of the day is not the start of the night
	2004 Jul 7	Prosperity Falters If Poverty Persists Beyond The Breadline	Meathook
	2000 Jan 3	Protracted Metrical Hermeneutic Festivities	As Christmas nears I lift my pen
	1998 Jun 21	Protracted, Dreamlike, Hermetic, Peculiar, Helpless	It may have been a Tuesday - the bus was late again
	2003 Oct 16	Protruding Posterior	The real derivation of 'prat'
	2004 Mar 18	Proved Once, Baked Twice	Unshockable, the bailiff's urge
	2001 May 17	PSSB	He is bald and bespectacled
	2003 Sep 16	Pub Coquettes	Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face
	2005 Jan 28	Puberty Before Breakfast	Chastising priests becomes a sport
	1998 Dec 11	Puberty with Cheeseburger	Of course
	2003 May 10	Pugna Porcorum	I put lobsters in her sock drawer
	2004 Mar 5	Punctuated Parsimony	There' s no use whining
	2003 Aug 25	Pure Floundering	How little do we know ourselves
	2004 Jul 8	Purse Maps	In the second shopping-trolley
	1998 May 17	Putresco's Wondering	Cartwheels begone! From shattered climes
	2003 Sep 5	Putting the Carthorse Before Zen	At times the truth may not appear the best approach to take
	2003 Sep 4	Puzzled Monkey	There once was a Coventry Monkey
	2003 Jul 18	Pyramids	When mummies in their sarcophagi
	2007 Apr 13	Pythagoras or Pinter	Tangents beckon from afar - with mystic hints of tangerine:
	1999 Feb 8	Quantum Snork Sput Snooting	Well bless my soul and clean my boots! I've started a new stanza
	2003 Jul 18	Quantum World	Photons green and neutrons pink
	2002 Nov 5	Queen Adelaide's Shapely Bozos	Twas' once the perfect time for wrath,
	2004 Aug 27	Queen Of The Feathers	Her innocence unquestioned, her purity renowned
	2004 Jun 3	Quenching Their Papyrus Of Filth	Saratoga springs eternal
	2003 Sep 1	Questionable Pantheons	Slumberers! Rome is burning all about you
	2003 Jul 24	Questioning Before	Did you ever wonder why
	2004 Feb 6	Questions, Not More	When You've made all Creation in just seven days
	2003 Sep 22	Quiche Swim	If every boy and every girl
	2003 Sep 22	Quicksand in My Tush	You're my special Dalek
	2001 Sep 5	Quiet Teatime Moments	The carrot spoke too sweetly
	2004 Jan 12	Quietude Is Surrender	All is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my hands
***	1999 Aug 4	Quite	Why, oh why, oh why, oh why?
	2003 Aug 15	Quixotic Robot Quests	Teflon starships ply the inky depths
	2000 Apr 9	Radishes Cloned My Goat!	Arabella Spommit had a cat made out of cheese
	2003 Oct 1	Railing Against Sooty	I promise not to mention lice
	2003 Jul 24	Rain is No Substitute	In shimmering skies the clouds were humming
	2004 Jun 1	Raindrops Keep Dripping On The Photoshoot	Atop the hill the castle stood
	2000 May 14	Ramsgate Station (1066)	When mice attack a quarter-back
	2002 Oct 31	Raptures of Our Lady Bromide	Let her curl up and sleep on the railway
***	2000 Feb 27	Rash Wednesday On The Grim Reeperbahn	Give me a whirl on the trampoline dull
	2004 Aug 24	Raskolnikov Spotless, Adrift Upon Oceans	Jesuitical was his way
	1998 Jun 1	Raskolnikov's Fallen	If night should fall before the deed is done
	2003 Nov 6	Rather A Pain For The Fairy	A piece of verse should pierce the soul
	2006 Jul 29	Ravioli Ramblings	Though Cecil balked at Puffy's plan
	2004 Aug 25	Reaper Without Envy	Kaolin
	2003 Oct 11	Rearward Facing Gum Machines Realise Their Cosmic Purpose	An overpriced player called Rio
	1997 Oct 11	Reasonable Crimes Of Tarpaulin	Tribal animosity
	2004 Feb 4	Rebel Angels, Mountain Dance	Labouring dismally under a sky
	2001 Feb 8	Recant Nothing, Martyrs	Full fathom five the aardvark lies
	2007 Jan 15	Recipe For A Very Quiet Airplane	Add a fraction from the jar
	2003 Nov 2	Recommendation To Decline Molloy's Meringues	A pound of grease is just the stuff
	2000 Oct 25	Recriminations Against The Hideous Nymphet	In olden days, a glimpse of Hockney
	2003 Sep 24	Recruitment Drive By The Bogus Snobbery Guardians	How to swell our number, how increase our ranks?
***	2003 Nov 14	Recycling Genesis	In the beginning Bob created the woman and the beer
	2003 Sep 19	Redemption of the Radishes	Blossoms the color of bruises
	2004 Nov 18	Rediscovered Unchanged	Choice apples, red or lilac, I now eat
	2003 Aug 17	Redneck Designs	Southern Astrological Signs
	1998 Apr 3	Reduplications over	This confirms
	2003 Nov 24	Reeling From The Effects Of Beer	Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall
	2002 May 13	Reflections Behind Closed Minds	The art of interactive verse
	2004 Mar 23	Refusenik Attitudes Long Considered Passé	Is that your usual tone of voice?
	1997 Apr 6	Regarding Mr Slick	Chiropracters, anarchists, and sheep
	2003 Sep 20	Regardless of Their Appearance	The haiku beckons
	2003 Oct 22	Regional Railway Sensibilities	Mostly air, my lost parade
	2003 Jan 9	Regurgitate Afresh	I ring alarms with my Nan
	2003 Oct 17	Reinstate War Fun	You've seen but a few of my numerous failings
	2003 Aug 5	Relativity In Guise Of The Moving Moon	A small chunky moon drifts or perhaps
	2003 Oct 14	Relentless Knishes	There was an old lady from Wales
	2004 Mar 16	Relying On Our Native Discretion	Uncle Stalin's on the floor
	2005 Jul 20	Remedial By Association	Sufferers of synarthrodiae
	1999 Jun 17	Remember My Helicopter?	Never in the history of this our Mother Earth
	2003 Jan 29	Remembrance of Things Pasteurised	The year was but a few weeks old
	1999 Sep 7	Renaissance Dental Imperfections Gallery	All right he said, I think I will
	2002 Jun 17	Repeatedly Focal	Old Uncle Tom made a nuclear bomb
	2003 Aug 15	Replacement Of My Jaundiced Petticoat	Anyone asking about apples
	1997 Nov 29	Requisite Tragedy	Christopher Robin was captured by those
	2002 Oct 22	Rescued From My Defects	There upon the ceiling, in a pattern rich and rare,
	2004 Sep 21	Reunions That Plato Forgot	Selected for his miseries
	2003 Jun 24	Reveal the Masonic Prudes	I heard him curse, I heard him groan
	2003 Aug 19	Revelations Undergone	Shaman footfall
	2003 Aug 18	Revenge	To those of you who through the years
	2002 Mar 20	Revenge of the Defecating Cutlery	Cuttlebone, my next of kin
	2004 Jan 15	Reversed In The Wash Of Fortune	Corporation. There we go
	2003 Sep 9	Revisionist Shenanigans	In my cardboard cardigan
	2003 Aug 18	Rhyme	Is the meaning of poetry lost in the ages?
	2003 Aug 4	Rhyme in Perversity	Forgive me if I sound perverse
	2003 Aug 26	Rich Tarts' Applause	When I was young, I was terribly poor
	2005 Sep 4	Ridicule Enough For Cherubim	Strong dominion, over whelks,
	2003 Oct 10	Right Nestled Securely Among Wrong	Our old friend, haiku
	2004 Mar 30	Rites For Responsible Raisins	My cummerbund was missing
	2004 Aug 17	Robbers Never Stopped Us Before Lunch	It started at quarter to one
	2003 Oct 23	Robert Faked Tough Choices	There was an old coot from Zimbabwe
	2003 Jun 23	Rock Husks	Vowels with a vengeance invigorate vows
	1999 Apr 24	Romeo's Disagreeable Collapsible Peregrinations	'Festival of shouting!', so barked the trusty swain
	1998 Sep 4	Romeo's Last Reward (Exodus)	The note bore the crest of nobility,
	2003 Sep 3	Roomy Life	He spent his life in deep despair and gloom
	2005 Nov 14	Rorschach Fondling	With sorghum, millet, rice and oats
	2002 Jul 30	Rotting Icebergs, Sketched by Proust	To tear the grimy Gospel
***	2000 Apr 10	Round/Arabesque	Do not cry, my darling, do not cry
***	2004 May 25	Rubbish-tip Top	The moving pencil writes and, having writ, it breaks
	2003 Jul 25	Rubicund Mummeries	mummeries cast brightly upon lavender sidewalks
	2003 Dec 8	Rude Feminism	Carol took my G.I. Joe and hitted him with a stick
	2003 Nov 15	Ruined Dreamscapes	I had an eerie dream last week
	2004 Oct 4	Ruinously Enough	An omission, in the dyke,
	2003 Jan 17	Rumour Pills	Licensed to kill, my dear
	2004 Jan 25	Rural Consternation	My sister's just ripped a tractor in two
	2004 Aug 11	Rustic Tangent	The taxidermist's holiday
	2006 Jun 16	Sacks Of Moonshine	Out here in the wasteland
	2003 Aug 11	Sadly Going Between Seasons	The empty swing still made arcs
	1997 Jun 7	Saffron, Saffron	I've seen the skull beneath the scone
	2004 Sep 3	Sages Of Most Definite Hopefulness	Behold!
	2004 Jul 9	Sailor Marinated In November	Pleiades in yonder sky
	1997 Mar 11	Saint Nincompoop's Aplomb	I remember, I remember when verses used to scan
	2003 Aug 4	Sam	Will Kansas Sam be upset with us when he gets back?
	2003 Jan 27	Samantha's Sinister Hockey Tour	My hermitage, lodged safely on the crag
	2003 Jul 18	Sanctum Inviolate	Damned hypocrisy! In truth I hate them all
***	2004 Sep 16	Satanists With No Desire For Pontifical Stripes	I bought a thing on ebay
	2005 Jun 13	Saul Bellow Cloudringed By Nymphs	In his Jeans®, stood Jasper Johns
	2002 Mar 3	Sausage Pouting Pictured	Echinacea, oil of rum, it's all the same to us!
	1998 Jun 8	Sausages in Strangeness	A man in blackface wandered into the hall
	2004 Apr 29	Sausages Stitched Lengthways	The rats climbed on the rising ship
	2004 Aug 19	Save Our Dickensian Surrogates	Scuttling from clime to clime
	2001 Oct 10	Saved By The Old Handbags Again	Architecture! Drifting slow
	2003 Dec 5	Saying Much, While Keeping Silent	He sponsored a Gonk
	2003 Jul 9	Scapegoat Ranchers	Why isn't tomorrow
	2002 Jul 26	Scarcely	The glaciers of Egypt
	2002 Apr 2	Schrödinger Blue	Gusts and mists are just the stuff of dreams...
	2003 Aug 16	Scone Clichés	It's always darkest just before it gets lighter
	1998 Jun 23	Scouting for Mice	Stupidity, my carapace
	2003 Jul 19	Scrapple Lovin'	My headcheese does stink
	1999 Dec 14	Screaming by Rote	A random collection of words
	2003 Oct 22	Screaming for Revenge in the Afterlife	Something there is that doesn't love a fish
	2003 Aug 21	Scurvy and Varlets	I challenge you now with my swordTo the death! (well I'm really quite bored)
	1999 Mar 10	Seal Cobblers	Now, children, gather round, and I will tell you of Old Tom
	2001 Aug 10	Seaside Hallucination (Felixstowe Docks)	The shores of sand stood up and waved
	2002 Nov 14	Seasons Intemperate	If ever I should leave you, it might as well be now
	2003 Jun 23	Secret Habitude with Men	She frolicks gaily, like a goat
	2003 Oct 29	Secretly, in Aberdeen	A day in the life of...
	2004 Jan 16	Sector Vector Ejector	In this one thing all others meet
	2004 Jul 7	Sediment Flying In From The Airfield	Ten more miles and we'll be home
	2003 Jul 24	Seduction Are Us	It is the faintest of sounds
	1999 Jan 26	Seeds	The seeds of gourds shook,shook,shook!
	2004 Jun 21	Seegarten Tour For Wits	If it's standing-room only
	2006 Mar 29	Seeing As We Amuse Your Garden	Oh raucous bleating
	2003 Aug 7	Seek the Shade, the Silence	In a garden of unrestful silence
	1997 Jan 22	Seemly Onions	A beast with two backs
	2005 Oct 25	Seldom So Frequently	Gone before its time
	2003 Aug 14	Semantics Alone	At 4 o'clock on Sunday, with nothing much to do
	2004 May 21	Semaphore Statements Issued In Urdu	Let's keep this one simple
	2003 Sep 18	Semi Frenzy	The smell of camphor; dust motes in the sun;
	2004 Jan 29	Semicolon Failings	The scarlet letter, none too soon
	2007 Jan 5	Semolina and its Would-Be Dictionary	When my friend, Jarvis, called me 'queer'
	2005 Apr 12	Send Major Wordsworth	Said I to Gus Grissom
	1999 Jan 25	Sensible Noses	A small crimson telephone quivers
	2003 Jul 21	Separation Athletic	My love is sailing to Toledo
	2003 Nov 11	Septuagenarians	Much to my dismay, I turned seventy today
	2003 Sep 8	Sequoia's Lawyers	The sycamore's riposte
***	2004 May 21	Seven Seasons In Red	Was it for this that I sold all my children?
	2004 Mar 22	Several Chemistry Sets	Bromide in the afternoon
	2003 Oct 1	Several Nirvana Years	This metropolis, this wasteland, these wand'ring souls
	2003 Nov 11	Several Sporting Opportunities For Norwich	What makes a lively lunchtime
	2002 Nov 19	Shake My Garnish	Let us go then, you and I,
	1998 Oct 3	Shakespeare's apparent homily diverts the Thames ferry-men	Lay thee at my rump, thou contumelious sot
	1996 Dec 10	Shakespearean Temptation	Fourteen tubes of toothpaste mark my grave
	2003 Oct 15	Shaking Like Evaporating Milkmaids	Don't think me ungrateful, but
	2003 Nov 7	Shaking Moon Teabag	There was a spoonbiller so svelte
	2003 Aug 19	Shameless? Us?	The incredulous bunch, the lot of them all
	2002 Sep 23	Sharing Lulu's Breakfast	Guile ... beyond its main intent,
	2001 Dec 13	She boils	In its own bottle
	2004 Apr 20	She Never Even Saw His Noble Bonfire	Without ever eating
	2003 Aug 4	She Never Surrenders Without A...	She is a lady in her heart
	2001 Aug 9	She Performed Badly	Young Margaret was a silly girl
	2000 May 24	She Wasn't Waving But His Trousers Were	She was poor but she was honest
	2003 Jul 19	She-devils Unruly	How are you doing, Mr. Slurb?
	2004 Sep 17	She-men And Domestic Appliances	If silence is golden, why won't you be quiet?
	2003 Feb 5	Sheepish Ambition	If the thought of hope is not enough
	2004 May 10	Shelley: Drowning Was Enough	The weight of any bantam
	1998 Sep 30	Shirley's Dancing Socks (or Ellen's)	Socks! My red socks,
	2002 Dec 11	Shirley, My Wife for a Day	Some caged bird squawks
	2004 Jan 16	Shivering With Sharks	When the mercury plunges to ungodly lows
	2006 Mar 8	Shogun Marmalade	Sveldt in someone's turban
	2006 Jun 15	Show Me How Verdi Murdered Houdini	his pendulum might make you sneeze
	2006 Sep 7	Showmen, Their Regrettable Legend	Tonsils made of plastic
	2002 Nov 27	Shriven	Most cats repent of all their sins
	2001 Jan 21	Shutters Fold Tightly Again	6 x 6 - from wall to wall
	2000 Mar 31	Sickening Ogresses Devour Octameters	Twice, beneath a battered moon
	2004 Dec 15	Sidcup Half-remembered	It's not the custom, nowadays
	2002 Sep 10	Side-Salad Mechanisms	As the world wheels it way around the sky
	2003 Aug 20	Sigh and Suicide	It's time for a limerick now
	2005 Feb 22	Sigh No More, Ladies	The Dutch maintain that any eye
	2002 Nov 14	Sign Rise	Toffee dipped in chocolate, by the wastrel's hand,
	2003 Sep 22	Signs Of Sorrows	I am sowing hope
	2002 Feb 4	Silently Fabulous	Glutinous grist is my dish of the day,
	2003 Jul 18	Silicon Dreams	My computer's on the blink
	2003 Aug 29	Silly Clothes	My boots they are not filigree'd
	2006 May 31	Simulacra Of The Smaller Variety Found In Brighton	When they talk about Eau de Cologne
	2004 Oct 5	Since We Are Seldom Decoded	Caught in cobwebs, smothered by your love
	2002 Nov 22	Sing for Switzerland, Salesperson!	Blue Degrees or Royal Arch, in time,
	2004 Jun 1	Sing Soprano Like They're Sniffing	A venerated halibut consecrated mass
	2004 Jun 23	Singing For Our Tea In C	A whipping-boy
	2003 Jul 18	Singing the Family Song	Simon says, "Slow down, you're movin' too fast"
	2006 Feb 16	Sirloin Of Thanet	Give this custard just one stir
	2003 Sep 6	Sister Sarah and the Beef Panic	Whatcha gonna do when the money runs out?
	2003 Dec 3	Situtationist Funeral	Pallbearers of uneven height
	2005 Feb 1	Sixty-five Degrees	If you squeegee my windshield, I'll scour your pot
	2003 Aug 5	Skin	Does your skin keep you warm in the night?
	2005 Feb 9	Skin For Us Those Infidel Shareholders	An agéd man in green I saw
	2001 Dec 7	Skywards in Epping's Impenetrable Parkland	'I hear you have a speaker-phone'
	2000 Sep 11	Slander Me!	I'm the child of a Red Road skyscraper.
	2003 Jul 24	Sleep Will Not Be Heard	I really need to get some sleep
	2003 Oct 16	Sleeping Is Ignorance	While trudging through the swamp let us endeavor
	2007 Mar 28	Sleeping is no Phenomenon	Tinctures of old lead
	2001 Nov 12	Slice My Sausage Thinly, Samantha	When I was young and fancy free
	2006 Feb 22	Slighted By Angels	Bandsaw. Egret. Alpenstock.
	2000 Apr 27	Slithy Again	'Twas brillig and the coach and four
	2003 Dec 12	Smells Like Parfum	Céline, we'll make a fortune if you'll sweat into this vat
	2003 Oct 19	Smiles Bestow Blessings	Like a snake, your smile stretches
	2003 Jul 24	Smog Onions	The smog comes on little rat feet
	2004 Aug 6	Smudge On A Trumpet	I'm not even thinking
	2003 Sep 5	Sneezing	Arrrrghhh!!!!
	2003 Jul 18	Snow Slithers Up	The night was dark and stormy
	2004 Jan 12	Snow Wheels	To those who'd venture off the brink, atop a fold-up scooter,
	2007 Apr 13	Snow Without Distinction	From the swirling coffee-grounds
	2003 Nov 20	So Let's Not Eat	The fridge is lurking in a corner - tempting me to sin
	1996 Dec 15	Soar, churlish repetiteur!	Day breaks like a condor's egg
	2003 Aug 25	Sobering Laptop	T'was but a night on the dell
	2006 Jul 6	Socialists Challenging A Shutdown	A dinghy's captain, fearing wreck
	2004 Sep 23	Society Umbrellas	Your frothy latte burns my tongue
	2003 Nov 29	Sold For Leather	It's time to shampoo my peruke
	2003 Nov 22	Solicitude Is For Featherweight Fools	Please, my dear, take off your coat
	2003 Sep 24	Some Poet Unknown	May we address you in verse?
	2003 Dec 12	Somebody Is Rotting	It seemed (to
	2004 Mar 30	Somehow Somewhere Leads Nowhere	Would you like to wax my floor?
	2003 Dec 23	Someone Who For Once Is Not Averse To Changing Lanes	Bespectacled, mustachioed--a man nondescript
	2003 Dec 29	Something Beyond Hymenoptera	The version I favour
	2003 Jul 29	Something Counts	Zero was an astronaut
	2003 Sep 3	Something Sinful For Basildon	Finally, the croissant burns
	2003 Dec 4	Sometimes Almost Roundish	Pasquale's famously roundish tartan muffled
	2004 Feb 19	Sometimes Enough Makes Sense	The trampled multitude are free -
	2003 Oct 17	Songs of Prestigious Bill Giblets, the Whistling Tailor	I had my shoes shined in Chicago once
	2003 Sep 4	Sonia Wasn't Lost	Sonia is my name, flirting is my game
***	2000 Feb 14	Sonnet	If the prophets who foretell my life
	2000 Feb 15	Sonnet	This flower that we planted long ago
	2001 Jun 3	Sonnets Lately Despatched	When to the summons of a baker's wife
	2004 Apr 11	Soprano And Under	Surrendering to something
	2003 Dec 14	Sorry Excuses	Cold, you say?
	2004 Feb 5	Sorry Lament For Gilded Wallets	When I consider what my wife has spent
	2003 Nov 16	Sorry, Sausalito	Sausalito
	2003 Sep 18	Sound-Effects for Hitchcock's Railway	These neatherds know a trick or two
	2003 Aug 25	Sounds Like the Vampire Abroad	The beating of a distant drum
	1998 Jan 20	Soup Training - Who Cares?	Happy New Year to the burghers of Strood!
	2003 Jul 17	Soupspoon	Three smooth stones near water's edge, gray as everyday
	1997 Jun 14	South Margin Closed, Always	Every thing hath a beginning
	2003 Jul 31	Sow Succcess	I'm pregnant and I don't know why
	2000 Nov 8	Spanner Hatred	Now the fat is in the fire
	2000 Jun 14	Sparklingly Devoid Of Interest	What is a thruttock? questioned Sam
	2000 Nov 3	Spartan Opinions Devour Our Siblings	A pestilence, a nuisance, a wretched waste of time!
	2003 Aug 21	Spies Seeking Heat in Arabia	Close to the railway, hidden by bushes
	1999 Feb 11	Spin Friar	The Lady's not for burning
	2003 Aug 8	Spin Skipper, My Ass	There once was a hack called Andrew Gilligan
	2003 Jun 5	Spin-doctors Confused	There's too little gristle and not enough fat
	2003 Dec 27	Splat Went The Fig Custard Fruitcakes	Kaboom and kerplunk, vavoom and achoo
	2003 Nov 1	Spooks Like Us	On Halloween lock all your doors
	2004 Apr 20	Spoon Receipt	Such is the demon's lot
	2003 Jul 23	Spoonbillrocy	Twas jillig and the smirky twerps
	2003 Sep 3	Spooning the Kielbasa Worse Than Me	Why must you eat the kielbasa?
	2003 Nov 7	Spoons Succumb To Fawkes	A stack of broken furniture is set ablaze tonight
	2003 Sep 11	Spotted Crunch	I suggested a title word and the word was this
	1998 Dec 16	Spray-on Orkney Sweater	In the winter's brutal smile
	2003 Oct 7	Spread Your Ears Skiffle Junkies	Coughs and sneezes
	2007 Jan 11	Spurned To Glory	Let us now praise famous mounds
	1999 Feb 13	Squeamish, Mother?	Toothpaste is a substance that I readily ingest
	2003 Jan 10	Squeeze the Glands Beyond Table Manners	There's nothing so original
	2000 Nov 7	Squeezing Another's Pocket	There's no adventure that's too fanciful
	2007 Feb 12	Squid Divinity	Proem, poem, words of praise -
	2002 Jun 28	Squirrel-bitten, the Similes Decay	My love is like a rushing stream, of vigour full and free,
***	1999 Dec 1	Stacy's Fading Cardigan	The autumn leaves
	2004 Jul 9	Staff Barbecue For Hygienic Elves	Pleonastic bunkers that the empire built
***	1998 Nov 21	Stale Toffees Know Nothing	His feet are larger than the sea
	2001 Dec 12	Stanley Knife, Solid Flesh	Alone
	2001 Dec 30	Stapling Matilda (Augustinian Ballade)	Poet slain with paper knife
	2003 Jul 26	Starfish Footwear	If starfish wore shoes
	2003 Sep 27	Start The Timeclock Earlier	Friday evening's nearly here
	2005 Jul 12	Starting Northwards, In No Uncertain Protocol	A Singer of Rats was elected
	2004 Oct 11	State-side Transmissions	These distinctions, in the dark,
	2005 Jan 15	Stealth For Newfound Cheeses	Broad pretensions, on the board-walk,
	2006 Jun 21	Steam Calendar	St. Swithin's Day? Is that in May?
	2003 Aug 17	Steel Safari of Red Rivers	Said the zebra to the lion, "Why in heaven are you cryin'?"
	2004 Jun 16	Stewed Sea-weed, Nothing More	Pip, as a boy, the marshes trod
	2005 Feb 21	Still, Inkpots Leave Stains	Will you be f*ing p*ed if I use asterisks?
	2003 Aug 4	Stinky	Stinkbombs here and stinkbombs there
	2003 Jul 23	Stinky Feet	(haiku) I think your feet stink
	2002 Jul 26	Stolen From Steel Factory Sirens	The skies were heavy as an ounce of osmium,
	2001 Dec 10	Stolen Kissograms in Ketchup	Such is cockaleekie,
	2000 Mar 15	Stolen: Orville, My Disgusting Donkey	Quandary, a quandary,
	2003 Aug 20	Stop	A poem sat, neglected, unloved
	2003 Dec 6	Stop Playing Tiddlywinks When I'm Watching	On the plains of Andalucia, I met a honking horse
	2003 Aug 6	Store Your Smiles	The store was stocked with many things
	2000 Nov 25	Stories, Confabulations and Tears	Bright she was
	2003 Aug 29	Storm the Language Barricade!	Latin died and Gaelic's not so well
	2003 Oct 2	Straight Forward	tiny
	2003 Sep 19	Strange Bits Of Filth	Kansas Sam's brain overheated
	2003 Aug 5	Strange Stretched	Life passes by at a thousand miles an hour
	2001 May 24	Stravinksy in Sidcup: Untimely Minuet	If saints are souls with greater spirit
	2000 Dec 9	Stroll Across The Pier	When Sullivan was just a lad, his father went to see
	2004 Sep 16	Stuff Your Turkey And Grab A Second Chance For Redemption	I see you bought a pair of saddle shoes
	2000 Aug 3	Stuffed Pets	Fill up my brazen pockets with the water of the Loire
	2002 Aug 16	Stupid Polar	The rain it raineth every day
	2004 Jun 25	Subliminal Telemetry Wasted	A muse might amuse us
	2004 Mar 23	Subtle With Hotdogs	'Here are the gum-boots you ordered, madam!'
	1999 Dec 24	Subtle, Said the Maggots	Spent moons bestrew th'empyrean
	2005 Sep 20	Subway Tools Again	Lucy Skeaping, queen of myst'ry,
	2003 Dec 21	Subzero Igloos	A frozen smile has crossed her sullen face
	2003 May 15	Succulent Retching	Complacent as the Minotaur
	2006 Jan 8	Such Conditions As Warrant Swift Kickings By Magistrates	Your claws, My Dear, are half your charm
	2006 Jul 28	Such Gravitas Is Wasted	Again, at the cathedral
	2000 Jan 15	Such Lucky Wickedness	Fortune fattens the brave
	2003 Nov 7	Suck The Wonder	I wonder did you dance a Latin dance?
	2000 Apr 4	Suction By Toothsome Lip	By dressing up in surgeon's robes
	1999 Nov 18	Suds	The main thing to remember about hunting with a fish
	2000 Feb 7	Sugar Hates Recollections	'Handle not the lesser fruit!', so spake the chieftain bold,
	1999 Mar 6	Sugared Death Watching	A simple thought occured today, entirely on its' own
	2004 Aug 25	Sugary Benisons During Walpurgisnacht	In conclusion, blessed child,
	2001 Jan 11	Sunday, We Confess	A monstrous sneeze assails the ears
	2000 Dec 22	Sundial Shines	How about this new departure:
	2003 Dec 13	Sundry Things Spread Thinly	Once a brave Sultana
	2003 Aug 22	Superhighway Of Discontent	Cyberspace is crumbling
	2000 May 11	Surely it behoves us to grant...	In Istanbul
	2002 Nov 6	Surlaw Sha'n't Contribute Veterinary Vouchers	Perhaps I'm not so odd
	1997 Jul 30	Surplus Penguins	Burn my Waiting-List
	2004 May 9	Surprise Dentistry	At a quarter past one on the fifteenth of May
	2001 Jul 27	Surprise Ending	A lamb-chop once asked me
	2004 Mar 1	Surprise Me Less	The trunk in the attic held something amazing
	2004 Jul 27	Swedish Substitute For Previously Contaminated Dessert	Speciously, you are so fine!
	2003 Sep 3	Sweet Global Soup	Across the time-zones, rhymesters meet
	2002 Nov 29	Swimming for Pilgrims	What cloud through yonder window frowns?
	2003 Nov 19	Swimming Upstream For Several Rhymes	Quietly humming his favourite tune,
***	1997 Dec 28	Swimming While Drowned	Who were the Bewlay Sisters
	2003 Jun 16	Swinging the Tarzan	They trained me, from mine early years
	1997 Mar 2	Swooping Ono Delight	This is an ode to all things past,
	2004 Aug 11	Syllabub Proverbs	The lumps one sometimes finds in cream
	2001 Jan 1	Symphony Buttocks With Apricot Orchestra	Toast Christmas dog
	2003 Aug 18	Synthetic Harmony, Synthetic Reflections	Another new poem, now what will it be?
	2005 Feb 3	Systemic Gouda	Stale cheese croutons in my jar
	2004 Jan 14	Tabletop Heirs	I've never hit a man I didn't like
	2001 May 9	Tadpoles of Doom	Remember me when I am dead,
	2003 Nov 24	Tale Of Municipal Ribaldry	What strange goings-on have there been in this town
	1999 Jan 11	Tales for the Dogmatical Nursemaid	The unicorn, though custom deems it myth,
	2004 Mar 31	Tales Of Someone Taller Than Expected	Tell me, O Wanderer, whom do you seek?
	2004 Jan 12	Talisman Testicle	You can't take it with you - or so I've been told
	2004 Jul 21	Taller Despite Appearances	The short-cuts that Yevgeny likes
	2005 Jul 30	Tantric Diagrams	The empty vest had seen some times
	1997 Apr 29	Tapioca Mouthwash	Outrage at the orthodox
	1999 Aug 30	Tarantula Flakes Ripped my Earlobe	What is the point if one lacks the finish ?
	2004 Feb 21	Tardy Wishes For Sweethearts And Critics	Your valentine was late arriving, the message rather sappy
	2003 Aug 19	Tarragon Piglets	Heaven-sent sixpence, platypus pie
	2005 Jul 25	Tartlets In Custardy	Blesséd fragrance, of the Nile,
	2003 Aug 12	Taxes, Always	Taxes, levies, tithes, and tariffs
	2003 Jul 30	Tea Calms, Warmth Invades	My tea warms my hands
	2003 Nov 11	Tea With Cartoons	Between the kettle and the cot
	2004 Jul 12	Tea-room Trumpery	Catachresis in the crypt
	2005 May 17	Tears Before Tonsils	Lethal injection, on the tide,
	2002 Oct 22	Telephone in a Wishing Well	I woke up this morning as blue as your eyes
	2001 Nov 1	Television Penis Disenfranchisement	Born with magic pubic hair
	2003 Jun 22	Telling Tales of Mother's Bullseye	You shouldn't keep an apple
	2000 Dec 16	Tempestuous Trousers of Thrace	Put yourself in your neighbour's shoes
	1999 Feb 3	Tenacious Loip	A harsh law, or an honest law?
	2002 Dec 9	Tendencies (Lapsed)	Who pollutes the Muses
	2003 Mar 28	Tendentious Reassurances	Another thousand syllables
	2004 Jul 16	Tennis Balls Striking Us Forcibly	I never will get over
	2001 Jun 19	Tennyson's Elbow Transplant	I glanced upon your book last night -
	2002 Apr 19	Tennyson's Untreated Butane Vat Goes Whoosh	Come into the garden, John, for the dark bat night has teeth
	2000 Oct 16	Tents Erected in Plymouth Sound	'Give me the buzz!' I shrieked in blunt Welsh
	1997 Mar 2	Territorial Seas Revisited	No, Man IS an island
	2003 Jun 21	Test Our Mutual Felicity with Unguents	His brain slightly mangled from mid-term exams
	2002 Jun 11	Testimonial for Pier Café Raiders	Long, long ago, in old Tashkent
	2006 Jun 11	Testimonial Of Unrest	A song for hake, an anthem, ho!
	2003 Sep 24	Texted Evolution	Wtih frsit and lsat ltteer in palce, it's siad any wrod can be raed
	2007 Mar 17	That Final Catheter	Why not howl at Saturn?
	2003 Oct 23	That Later	Long and short: Venus emits gas at sunrise
	2003 Aug 20	That Memory of No-One	My eyes have grown too tired for seeing
	2004 Jan 2	That Otherwise Fruitful Humanity	Where has haiku gone?
	2003 Sep 23	That Superficial Sniper	He snaps his fingers with such authority
	2000 Jun 6	That's That Over With	In the beginning was the Herd:
	2002 May 16	That's the Ticket!	A Hindu Deity is often blessed
	2003 Jul 19	Thaw	(haiku) Little lips and toes
	1998 May 2	The "Don't Bother Me" Paradox	She came at dawn and slit my throat
	2003 Nov 10	The Abandoned Soup Molestors	The soup is rather thick today
	2003 Jul 18	The Ageless Golden Fleece	My buddy, Moe, is getting old
	1997 Dec 9	The Alchemist's Crusade	If all the world were turpentine
	2003 Nov 23	The Allure Is Fortunately Passing	When I was only seventeen, I fell in love with a Gypsy queen
	2005 Feb 22	The Alphabet Artfully Reconstructed From Bedsprings	Awake! Before the porridge starts to burn!
	2003 Aug 11	The Alphabet Tastes Best Cold	Angry aged alsations
	2003 Nov 17	The Anagrams Of Our Jumbled Selves	Compose a line: especial moon
	2003 Nov 22	The Ancient Dreams Of Ken	Against a sky of brooding green
	2003 Oct 14	The Apologetic Polka	Escape these shores I must, and head for foreign soil
	2002 May 20	The Apostle Paul Ate Our Show Dogs	I gorge a slow caramel,
	2004 Nov 17	The Approach Of Suicidal Robots	The telecon went on and on
	2003 Sep 26	The Authors of Unsettled Remains	On Spoonbill we all write in verse
	2003 Oct 2	The Backwards Time	Myself when young did eagerly frequent
***	1999 Mar 20	The Ballad of Archibald Sideways	The Ballad of Archibald Sideways
	2000 Dec 18	The Ballad of the Blocked Toilets	She wandered through the garden fence
	2003 Aug 5	The Best Guests	With operatic splendour did the door-bell sweetly chime
	1997 Dec 21	The Bethlehem Magnetometer	When skies are grey, the darkest thought
	2004 Feb 10	The Better To Infiltrate Someone's Affections	I never saw you in a dream
	2004 Feb 29	The Birdbath Embargo	Here in Munich's age-old centre
	2003 Jul 26	The Bitter End (Alas I Died Homeless)	Alas! Oy vey! My tires are flat
	2006 Sep 8	The Blanched Almonds of Hoboken	The pool beneath the breakfast hall
	2002 Jan 3	The Blood Line of Blandishment Castle	The Welder was welding as never before
	2003 Sep 5	The Bob Job Murders	I once had an uncle named Bob
	2004 Jun 27	The Braunschmidt Transponder	Palimpsest of things divine
	2003 Aug 29	The Burlington Commuter Blues	The wrong kind of sun, the wrong kind of snow
	2000 Apr 4	The Cakes, The Knife	Arabella Spommit was a temptress, all allure;
	2000 Apr 17	The Callously-Burnt Marathon	Like this sample of elation
	2006 Jun 29	The Caretaker Who Cried Wolf	When once I bumped a smallish man
	2003 Nov 16	The Cauldron That Foils Such Weaklings As Us	I see your hoof prints on the stairs
	2006 Sep 26	The Cauliflower Nuisance	Demanding menace with a payment,
	1997 Feb 8	The Cherry Challenge	Woodworm! Spare that tray
	2005 Jan 27	The Christmas Milkmen	And here are the pictures
	2003 Sep 9	The Chrysostom Cathedral	Chrysostom ... wasn't he the saint
	2003 Sep 20	The Circling Saucers Of Sirius	My little pal never leaves me
	2002 Apr 18	The Circumference Spoon	Jack of the desperate moments
	2003 Sep 5	The Circus Elephant Blues	My tutu's not starched and my toe shoes are scuffed
	2004 Jan 21	The Comma Which Causes	Let's desist, this time, from writing trash,
	2003 Sep 26	The Copy-Cat Stutter	The miscreant potato
	2004 Jan 22	The Cork Coffins	This message to the nearly dead
	2000 Jan 10	The Cracked Omnipotence	Trim
	2003 Oct 26	The Cronyism of Songbirds	Smells like you're frying bologna
	2005 Jan 11	The Crooner Under Cover	Way down upon the Swanee River
	2004 Apr 15	The Danish Word	The lonely Swedish man
	2006 Mar 14	The Death Wish List	When Doomsday comes, where will you be?
	2004 Aug 31	The Deepest, Darkest Regions Inside My Colon	Whenever I go for a smoke
	2004 Jul 2	The Denouement Of Vermicelli	The blank screen gazes remorselessly back
	2004 Jan 21	The Dimmer-Switch Disease	Jeeze, I can't find my knees
	2000 Mar 11	The Dismembered Thumbs	Before taking part in this scandalous hoax
	2002 Mar 5	The Dockland Proxy	The caramel wafer was tempting and thin:
	2003 Apr 30	The Doctrine of Giggling	I've long held a theory that Seuss ain't no doc
	2003 Oct 9	The Dreaded Chair Gang	The sly London chair gang is at it again
	2001 Oct 7	The Duplicitous Dumpling	'Cusp' she spelt
	1997 May 28	The Eagle Fallen	Octopus, the raven-haired
	2003 Sep 19	The Effervescent Digest	If I ever went to Athens
	2003 Oct 1	The Elemental Blimey	A wistful moment
	2003 Aug 26	The Embroidered Gorgonzola	Teapots singing in the rain
	2003 Aug 5	The End of a Shrewd Heroine	There once was a cold winter knight
	2001 Jan 12	The Enslaved	I just can't help thinking of you
	1999 Dec 26	The Equilibrium Rankles	Let's not add another word
	1999 Aug 20	The Etiquette of Hogwash Country	Once upon a golden morn
	2004 Jan 19	The Everlasting Pets	My cat is too fat
	2003 Sep 10	The Exorcism of All Limericks	There was an old hag from New York
	2007 Jan 22	The Fifth Vatican Innuendo	Oh Wally! Won't you start your car,
	2005 Oct 13	The Final Acorn	From Sparta to Spain
	2002 May 13	The Firmament Throughout	The south of France is not a place
	2003 Sep 30	The First Cyborg Whore	Rosie was a robot made of steel
	2003 Oct 2	The Flawed, But Somehow Delightful Vacation	Let us retire to France
	2003 Nov 24	The Food Of Minotaurs	I hear that you like pepperoni
	2004 Jun 29	The Fourth Alibi From The Left	Oh blessed fragment of the foam
	2004 Jul 6	The Fragile Steel	So easy to upset her
	2003 Nov 7	The Frenchified Arrogant	When pigs grow wings and cows speak French
	2003 Oct 23	The Frequency for Repaginated Ladies	Persephone once said to me
	2005 Feb 16	The Frictionless Vol-au-vent	This is now
	2003 Nov 23	The Frozen Meow	"I must remove that oil stain" muttered the piebald rat
	1996 Dec 24	The Furnishing Witches, or Lucy's Festive Wager	Wit of pig and limb of bat
	2004 Jan 17	The Georgian Silhouettes	Do not single out the fat for taking too much space
	2004 Jan 8	The Giant Eyes Of Friendship	Don't take offence at what I say,
	2003 Sep 26	The Global Hegemony of You and Yours	Une nuit foncée et orageuse
	2003 Aug 29	The Gnomes Who Roll	Once upon a time, in a country faraway
	2003 Nov 18	The Gods Of My Great Grandfather	Begin again: restart anew
	2002 Jan 28	The Gorse Sandwich	Gloag by name, Gloag by nature;
	2003 Sep 24	The Gospel of Even Numbers	My only brush with India
	2006 Feb 11	The Great Critics	E wrote slowly, R wrote fast
	2003 Aug 25	The Great Fuss	I was fishing one day on the pier
	2004 Feb 18	The Great Roar	The lion's the king of the beasts
	2003 Dec 7	The Great White Blancmange Of God	Clutched against her breast
	2003 Oct 22	The Halibut Swears To Attack	Majestic as a pikestaff was old Jim,
	2005 Jan 18	The Hegemony Which Everybody Scorns	One before the turning
	1999 Feb 8	The Helicopter's Plenitude	Triceratops, my maiden aunt
	1999 Nov 23	The Herrings' Adieu (Striding Akimbo)	Mortar, crust of lies
	2003 Oct 12	The High What	I want to do to you, what the spring does to the trees
	2003 Sep 19	The Hoity-Toity Envelopes	There was a young painter from Maine
	2003 Sep 5	The Holiest Glue	Religions I am Considering Joining
	1997 Dec 17	The Hopeless Love Clients	One Phoenix, hankering for love
	2003 Jul 22	The Hopscotches are Growling	The Creature wouldn't seem so bad if only he spoke clearly
	2003 Aug 11	The Horizons of Renewal	We have waited for a new beginning
	2004 Dec 9	The Hurricane That Tore Our Beloved Condominium From Its Very Foundation	Behind the bandstand, when we dared
	2003 Nov 18	The Ill-drained Threesome	In the evening came the cycles
	1997 May 12	The Implacable Syphon	The shadow cabinet-maker
	2003 Aug 27	The Innocent Murder of Fire	I see the walking dead, the fire in their eyes
	2003 Sep 25	The Intent Of Noses	Attend the tale of Jack the Lad
	2005 Nov 23	The Interplanetary Concavity Is How Deep	Good Men, our good ship's run aground
	2004 Oct 14	The Jurisprudence Of Aquatic Creatures	the egret watched the passing ship
	2004 Jun 25	The Kiss Cabin	This mouth of salt
***	1999 Oct 16	The Knight who Rode a Goat to Barcelona	Before the porcupine descends
	1998 Nov 26	The Labyrinthine City	Canterbury? No, it does
	2002 Aug 5	The Lament of my Square Informal Tusks	The sergeant sighed as his steely gaze
	2004 Aug 27	The Least Suspicious Concertina	A drooping, stealthful melody
	1999 Apr 5	The Leather Ambulance Crumbles	By dint of subtle mime
	2006 May 31	The Legend Of The Sphere	I'll tell you the tale of a boy from the East
	2006 Aug 15	The Lesson Of Days Before Tuesday	There's a red house over yonder
***	1999 Feb 9	The Lewd Mouths Squeal	Carnivores, despite the laws
	1996 Dec 27	The Lilliputan Comb	'"Inertia"? What a charming name!'
	2003 Jul 24	The Long Thin	Dispense with long narration
	2006 Jun 20	The Lost Banter	Thou, pollen, art my nemesis
	2005 Nov 16	The Lost Macduff Reforms In Ely	His cranium, by some accounts
	2003 Jul 18	The Lycanthropes Are Eternally Grateful For Your Cooperation In These Matters Of	Preposterous! She cried
	2003 Nov 6	The Makeup Trowel	Never have I seen a more delightful face than yours
	2000 Jan 7	The Margarine Heart-Throb	This divan whereupon I lie
	2002 Apr 11	The Maritime Suction	On this desolate beach, a lost trinket
***	2002 Jul 24	The Mark of Uncertainty (Improbable Thumbprint)	If you can hold a tune, when all around
	2003 Sep 24	The Meagre Friend of Jugs	Newbie, newbisti, newbit
	2004 Dec 10	The Mean Spirit Inside My Frog	Toasting bread is rarely easy
	2003 Aug 23	The Meatloaf Serenade	With faltering steps Alonso reached the summit
	2003 Nov 12	The Metallic Allegory	Golden apples in a silver bowl
***	2000 Feb 13	The Minotaur's Preserved Tears	Frugal the frog
	2003 Jun 23	The Mistake	I heard him curse, I heard him groan
	1998 Feb 9	The Moon Promises My Friend an Apricot	Bind me to a broken bench
	2003 Sep 16	The Moon So Subtly Flying	Once I flew to the moon, my wings dripped gold and blue
	2003 Nov 12	The Moon That Howled, "Donald!"	The moon shone bright on that surly night
	2004 Sep 18	The Morsel Of Reason	Rare confection - of delight!
	2003 Nov 18	The Most Rewarding Kind Of Exercise	Put it off until tomorrow
	2003 Dec 19	The Mundane Factory Blues	Number ninety-seven was a worker at the plant
	1997 Mar 15	The Mushroom Antipope	His terror of fruit was a virtue
	1998 Jun 7	The mystified Walrus construction	Unpredictable grammar,
	2007 Feb 26	The Nephews of Leonard	I'd heard of Silas Marner
	2004 Nov 16	The Newest Helmet	You can't complain
	2003 Sep 2	The Night Match (Unseen Sisters)	Simple sisters in the sunlight
	2004 Feb 8	The Oast-House Symposium	It moves an inch a minute
	2002 Jan 15	The Oboe Omelettes	In the mountains outside Swindon
	2002 Aug 21	The Obverse Equivalent	The dark cathedral shivers
	2003 Jun 19	The Ocelot Tirade	Respectable he's surely not
	1997 Oct 28	The One Incorruptible Servomechanism (The Princes' Mile)	Fancy Wills and Harry,
	2003 Nov 23	The Ontological Rabbit-hutch	Comparisons are odious, it has been said,
	2004 Aug 20	The Operatic Life	I had a fish named Rusty
	2003 Aug 15	The Over	They say the power has just gone out
	2001 Aug 9	The Oyster Interval	In the palace of my mind, a lonely spirit walks.
	2003 Aug 26	The Page is a Cube	Like a russian doll, or perhaps an onion
	1997 Sep 18	The Pan Holds Mixed Croutons	The doctrine of a shining spoon
	2004 Jul 8	The Parliamentary Parsley Supplier	Peel an onion? - for a jape?
	2003 Jun 24	The Pastry Cups	How noble is the nobleman
	2003 Oct 17	The Pennyweight Sauce	A pennyweight of muskets scattered on the dock
	2003 Jul 18	The Perpetual Unloved Turtles	The Hamptons are green this time of year.
	2003 Aug 26	The Popemobile In Escrow	I have it in mind to purchase a pie
	2003 Sep 12	The Premise for My Jellybean Guidelines	Sleep eludes me now
	2003 Oct 1	The Pretentious Structures For Tasting My Oeuvre	At Halifax, the Muses gather round
	2003 Sep 29	The Progenitors Served Them	When our pets outlive their use
	2003 Nov 29	The Proper Toes	A man with a prong on his nose
	2006 Mar 9	The Protective Turnip, Terrified Of Nightmares, Is Already Failing Under My Tutelage	I had a date with a girl named Fred
	2003 Aug 3	The Providence Networks	Thistly waysides line the primrose path of dalliance
	2000 May 22	The Puissance In American Adverbs	The cake of opportunity must be eaten whilst it's fresh
	2003 Sep 25	The Queen Of All Chagrin	One bright September morning, the sky a crystal blue
***	1997 Feb 13	The Question	In front of a crowd of reliable hens
	2003 Aug 5	The Quirky Quiver (Haiku)	Snow falls, cold winds blow
	2005 Sep 8	The Railway Couplet Detected	From the bottom of my foot
	2002 Jan 9	The Reborn Tuna Despair for Mayonnaise	'Twas on a moonsoaked midnight
	2003 Aug 18	The Revolution	The desert sands are sleeping tonight
	2004 Jul 7	The Right Lunar Terrace Concept	These pronouncements, from the moon, were made in dead of night:
	2004 Jan 24	The Rite For Pipkin Breezes	If I could dance like Fred Austere
	2005 Jul 5	The Sanskrit Kirk Railings	Just a taste of sunshine
	2005 Aug 12	The Shark-infested Handbag	Betrayed by movements in the dark
	2003 Dec 29	The Shown Tear Of A Cloudbuster	I'd rest, if I could, but a holiday's on
	2003 Jul 21	The Snoring Sombreros	I've never known a munchkin like you, Nadine.
	2004 Sep 8	The Snowman Assassinated By Fibreglass Mittens	A limerick written by me
	2005 Aug 8	The Stranger Butler	The end is the beginning, subtly changed
	2000 Dec 5	The Strangler Ripped Asunder, Asunder	Perhaps a Lithuanian
	2002 Nov 12	The Submarine Horizons	A biscuit and a cup of tea
	2000 Feb 3	The Sun Wolf	In the tallest tree
	2003 Sep 24	The Sun-Drenched Arctic	Not my muscle!
	2000 Feb 2	The Superlunary Hairdryer	My skeleton, in bony dreams
	2006 Sep 6	The Surplus Blondes In Swindon	This poem is dedicated to the memory of Marmaduke Apsley
	1998 Feb 15	The swarthy Wellington-boot	When nights draw in, and pubs resound with tales of Arthur's deeds
	2004 Jul 2	The Tale Of Squabbling Archangels	At first, it seemed an ordinary day
	2005 Oct 23	The Tartan Cow Trap	There was a young man from Nantucket
	2004 Sep 1	The Things That Are Caramelized By Moonlight	Imagine there were jungles on the moon
	2003 Aug 26	The Thong Is What Poses	Underneath a mountain, in a dark secluded cave
***	1998 Jan 4	The Throat Effect	Gorgonzola partridge
	2006 Jun 9	The Thursday Matinee	No lack of contentious divisions
	2003 Sep 25	The Tidal Sound of Deflated Souls	The river was breaking its bank
	2000 Jun 7	The Tomato Points West	I like carrots in the spring-time
	2000 Mar 18	The Tribunal of Paradoxes	Your words will be remembered through the years
	2003 Sep 18	The Trouser Leg of Hell	I have measured out my life with tablespoons
	2001 Feb 2	The Truth Beyond Ginger	Whipping in ocean tides and winds of the Sicak peninsula
	2003 Nov 12	The Ultimate Sob Story	The squash, I fear, is overcooked
	1997 Jan 24	The Uneasiness Of Motives	They also serve who wait there to return
	2004 Jul 2	The Universe Eyed From The Back Row	Leonardo da Vinci
	2004 Jan 7	The Unkempt	Her face was blanched, her eyes aglow; the sky was gauzy, rent
	1999 May 7	The Unseen Chill	The 'Spoonbill Chill' hung over the land
	2003 Nov 3	The Unwanted Haiku	I hate raking leaves
	2004 May 18	The Very Ouch	Put me through the paper shredder
	2002 Oct 4	The Victorian Philistines	The entire world is as a foreign place
	2003 Nov 18	The Virginal Chorus Sings Alleluia	Her clavicle was something to behold
	2003 Sep 19	The Walks of Soul Sisters	I have seen this place before
	2001 Oct 5	The Warped Toboggan (Auden Medal Awarded Posthumouly)	In the burrows of the Nightmare
	2006 May 15	The Weather Of Mine Heart	Catch 22
	2000 Jan 14	The Whatsit, Evermore	Time stands still; the bullet hangs in the air
	2003 Sep 23	The Wickedness of Luxor	There once was an arrogant Pharaoh
	2000 Feb 19	The Yellow Singing Turncoats	Inflamed by passion and a touch of flu
	2003 Jul 26	The Yellow Sofa	Tommy, where is my yellow scarf?
	2004 Jul 14	The Zimmer-frame Society	Emblematic? Regal? Or a waste of space,
	2003 Oct 25	Theatre of Heads	The film was droll, though there were dull stretches
	2006 Jan 12	Their Original Desk-top Microphones	In my ending is my start
***	1998 Aug 7	Theory Comes Later	One: a sponge, of medium girth
***	2003 Jun 21	Theory of Everything on Tap	Lucinda' big sister chowed down on plutonium
	1997 Dec 19	Therapeutic Heresies	In the field, no break of day
	1999 Mar 12	Therapists Kill	Henrietta ate a cake
	2001 Aug 16	There goes another racing certainty	This door is alarmed
	2004 Sep 2	There Once Lived Some Rather Odd Babies	In a poisoned gondola
	2003 Oct 24	Therefore I Can Be Repeatedly Woggled	I seldom spurl the gaffled zern
	2005 Sep 18	These Are My Diverse	The stickleback: how, in its prime
	2002 Jul 18	These are Vagaries	Oh, why solicit further scorn
	1999 Jan 22	These Fiscal Cousins	Quarters
	1998 Dec 7	These honeycombed faces	Marmaduke was searching for the never-ending flute
	2004 Jan 28	Thesis For A Standard Text	Said the shaman to the showman
	2003 Aug 17	They Abruptly	Jonathan and Mary
	2004 Aug 26	They Astray	On coming home at last
	2003 Sep 6	They Came Third	Dyspeptic Malthusians are roaming about
	2006 Jan 14	They May Well Abandon Ship	Kansas Sam, Beefy, Will H, Karin, Grayman et al.
	2003 Jul 30	They Multiply	You've learned to tie your shoelaces
	2007 Mar 19	They Taught Pointless Rules	Onto Oban, with a snail,
	2000 Nov 25	They Vanish Soon Enough	Pigmies and penguins like to dance
	2003 Oct 16	They Who Remove Buttons From Unsuspecting Harlots	Len reported Clara to the fashion commissar
	2004 Nov 29	Things Are Annoying Everywhere	Just take a breath - we'll sort this out
	2003 Dec 3	Things Like Cigars	"It's coming...like Christmas" they said
	2003 Jul 19	Things Of The Wild Unknown	The haughty hippotamus spake unto the King:
	2003 Aug 7	Things Seven Of Pairs Socks Cannot Provide	UNDERPANTS AND BLUCHERS
	1999 Dec 14	Thinking Allowed	I think that I shall never see
	2007 Jan 16	This Famous Story of Spelling	Where do they go when they're ended
	1996 Jun 1	This Gastronomical Headboard	I have it in mind to purchase a pie
	2003 Jun 18	This Goaded Posture	You write sixteen lines, and what do you get?
	2004 Dec 21	This Is My Third Thumb	Please release me. Let me go
	2003 Nov 10	This Lame War Mixes Our Cement	If I understand you right,
	2002 Oct 3	This Lunch-Box of Fate	When toast-eating poets have eaten their fill
	1999 Apr 7	This Pinteresque Portion	Weasels ripped my heart out
	2002 Oct 28	This Way, Lord Byron	It's a long haul to Christmas, a long time to toil
	2004 Jun 25	Thistle Bow And Saw	This poem will be highbrow and clean as a whistle
	2003 Jul 17	Thoreau Toejam	Do mugwumps ever feel the ache
	2004 Feb 10	Those Poor Breakdancing Triplets	The birth canal has many locks
	2003 May 16	Those Who Can't Defy	So many works, untitled and unsung
	2004 Aug 16	Those Whose Every Movement Counts	I chanced upon a postcard
	2000 Nov 19	Though Bereft of Blossom	Colours anniversary
	2003 Sep 21	Though Tamborines are Comforting	I may have to saddle a horse
	2003 Nov 29	Thought Of The Mayoral Fool	Furtively, a polar bear
	1998 Feb 10	Thoughts of Poseidon's Daughter	Edgily, along the pier
	2004 Dec 1	Thoughts Of The Tedious Old Graybeards	This bathing cap, whose time-eroded pleats
	2007 Apr 13	Three Blonde Mice	Off to other hemispheres
	2000 May 10	Three Dodgy Hamsters, Always Gardening!	Tie me to the undergrowth with a length of twine!
	2002 Jan 8	Three-thousand Tall Blonde Pastries	A box of lead, filled up with stones,
	2004 Aug 18	Through Hooded Dreams	Shoot off her skin
	2003 Sep 16	Through the Days of Smouldering	I can barely remember the time
	1999 Jan 10	Thumbscrews This Time	When your boots are filled with brandy
	2002 Mar 15	Thus Spake the Dingo Baker	A thimble, filled with tepid brine
	2004 May 8	Thwarted By Occam	Don't invade us till the dawn,
	2003 Jul 17	Tick	Awake! for midnight at the witching hour
	2006 Jun 23	Tights For A Prophylactic Railroad	I shall not fail to summon you
	2003 Nov 12	Till Eulenspiegel For Amateurs	There never has been a good time
	2003 Sep 3	Tim the Godfearing Scientist	There once was a boffin called Tim
	2003 Jul 17	Time and Chance Combine in a Shocking Display of Crudity	A masterpiece will now unfold
	2003 Jul 8	Time and Four Fantastic Spoons	The Raiders of Gor had slavegirls galore and kept them all in chains
	2003 Aug 7	Time and the Walrus	The moon was shining on the grass
	2003 Aug 29	Time Calendric	Does anyone look forward to September?
	2003 Sep 24	Time is Our Sinecure	Within this life awakening
	2001 Apr 18	Time Itself	We'll try once more before the crash
	2003 Sep 17	Time or Porcelain	I frequently sit on the dunny
	2003 Sep 30	Times Square Dance	Piercing sunset with her hand
	2004 Jul 7	Tin-openers Practising What?	Meander into Shropshire, in the old MG,
	2003 Jun 21	Tinkle Tempest Soldier	The archive of memory refused to stir
	2003 Jun 16	Tiny Problems	Like hoarfrost on the juniper
	2003 Aug 5	Tipi, Living	Sam lived in a jerrybuilt sheet-metal tipi.
	2006 Feb 14	Tithes Before Flamingos	If heebie has jeebies and hocus has pocus
	2003 Aug 6	Titillate but Don't Touch	Versification is such titillation
	2003 Jul 19	TITLESGOHERE	Francine, are you here?
	2000 Dec 25	Titograd Cathedral, Fatuous In Defeat	Waltzing through the alley-way
	2003 Oct 29	Tmesis Hell	I like to spoon-bloody-bill,
	2005 Nov 15	To Any Passing Critic	In opting for a blacker grey
	2003 Jul 17	To Birds	The geese were flying high, the ducks
	2003 Sep 18	To Brother Domino	The money ran out, and I had to leave
	1999 Nov 9	To Bypass Cartesian Notation	Lot Seventeen: two lightweight combs
	2006 Mar 29	To Dissuade Potential Consumers	You claim that you've heard it before
	2006 Mar 10	To Haunt Each Dervish Daily	I like the cut of your jib and the fact that you always vote lib
	2004 Mar 30	To Heroic Bakery	Crumpets, muffins and baguettes
	2000 Jun 13	To Hypnotise Badgers Bereft Of Discretion	Across the hills a cry rang out:
	2004 Mar 2	To Strive For Dizzying Perfection	To get into the Hall of Fame
	2005 Aug 31	To Study All Known Colonies	Pleonasms get me down
	2000 Apr 10	To The Goatherds	When asked to choose an Antipope
	2004 Aug 5	To The Nth Decree	These brief lines
	2004 Mar 16	To Your Abiding Toadstools	A granite sheet does not get crumpled,
	2003 Aug 19	Today We Are In The Mists	It started out as molecules, swimming in the primal soup
	2004 May 25	Today's Not Likely	Pardon my haste - I really must dash
	2003 Sep 21	Toes of Paraffin	Camille, thou most elegant doorstop
	2006 Feb 1	Tombola Parking	When at night I go to sleep
	1997 Jan 12	Tomorrow Hardly Trying	Above the burning snow
	2003 Jul 23	Tonight delights us lovingly, but ...	The lamps are lit, the table set, the goose is in the oven
	2003 Oct 2	Too Soon To Reconnoitre	Frozen embryos
	2003 Aug 11	Too Worse	It was much softer yesterday
	2001 Jun 29	Tooth Drill In Sandwich Town	When rank delusion soils the mind
	2003 Nov 20	Toothy	After searching high and low, I finally found
	2003 Aug 24	Topological Jam	I bought a jar of marmalade, paid quite a little sum
	2006 Jun 24	Torment Jemima For Bothering	My neighbours, then, the nomads
	2005 Sep 14	Tossed From Hand To Elbow	Her incursions, from the North,
	2000 Jul 10	Totally Dissimilar Sausages (With Mustard)	As I was walking all alone
	2004 Dec 10	Towards Our Preordained Tenements	As with so many medicinal jokes
	2002 Oct 4	Towards the Sloping Planet	To say that he was fat would be
	1997 Apr 17	Toxic Fishpudding Blues	Blue notes pour from the sax in the corner
	2004 Jan 30	Traditionally Devoted To Artificial Punctuations	Here in Freud's kettle
	2006 Jan 11	Trampling Your Toes On	Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord
	1997 Apr 26	Trans-Atlantic Plagiarism, And The Combustible Alibi	Two doggerels, whelped in one litter
	2003 Sep 30	Transcribed by Strangers that Float	Keep all new songs as softly sweet as mine
	2002 Aug 8	Transplant for Triplets (Under Local Anaesthetic)	The funny thing is, remarked Smith
	2005 Jan 24	Trap For Attractive Babes	Could you possibly close your sweet mouth as you chew?
	2004 Aug 30	Travelers That Float	A flibbertigibbet you are, aha!
	2003 Jul 26	Travelling with Someone	Anonymously the poems flow
	2003 Oct 1	Tree Urchin	Under the shedding nose-nut tree
	2003 Nov 7	Trepidation Is Sometimes All	I find myself washed once more, upon a friendly shore
	2003 Sep 25	Tribute of the Rather Wet	I once knew a lady, Francine
	2003 Aug 19	Tricky Fellow Am I	Multiple line submissions
	2004 May 10	Trios Yet	No I never joined in
	1999 Jan 7	Trip, 15th August 1812	The sun had scarcely risen when we started down the lane
	2005 Dec 7	Troubles Because Of Bosoms	Puissant were her thighs that night
	2002 Oct 10	Trouser Leopard	Frowsy Frederick did foretell fate,
	2003 Jun 17	Trout Pox Toast Farming	Now is the moment! Grasp the nettle!
	2001 Oct 4	Truculent Virtue	Here I am and here I'm staying!
	2003 Aug 18	True Stories but Grossly Truncated	There once was a man who was purple (world's hardest limerick coming up...)
	2003 Sep 5	Truly, I Have Subverted You	I can't help but note that your navel is inverted
	2000 Jan 6	Try Sucking Your Ear Under Water	When lightning strikes at midnight
	2003 Sep 22	Trysting Without Thomasina	In my borrowed jacket
	2003 Oct 23	Tsarist Biscuits, Long Ago	Borneo in a biscuit-tin
	2004 Jan 13	Tsunamis Get The Surfers	Well! That relief was pretty short
	2004 Jan 14	Tugged Up	All is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my hands
	2003 Sep 24	Tumble Driers of Yesteryear	Wise men have been fooled
	2001 May 1	Tumbling Kills. Water Falls.	Carrie was an acrobat who fell upon her head
	2003 Dec 15	Tumbling Over The Sweets	Your babka, I hear, is delicious. Your cheesecake is second to none.
	2002 Jan 22	Tundra Nightmares	Woolly mammoth, now unravelled
	2003 Nov 20	Tuppence For The Battery	Marie looked, but saw herself no more,
	2000 Jan 22	Turbulence in the Belfry	Respiration - who's to blame?
	2003 Jun 18	Turned on by Ghostwriters	A flock of hungry magpies came
	2002 May 27	TV Chasm and Clitoral Yawning	Might I dream once more? Of russet dawns and clouds?
	2001 Dec 10	Twenty-Three Costermonger High-Road	Two-ring circus, one horse town
	2003 Dec 11	Twilight Of A Flaming Pie	Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun
	2003 Nov 20	Twister Tokens	Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead
	2006 Jun 25	Two Grebes Adrift	You shall not fail to summon me
	2004 Feb 5	Two Hands Forwards, Two Peas Backwards	Once upon a noontime cheery, as I daydreamed hale and hearty,
	1998 Feb 10	Type-cast Treachery	How undone as would be seen to show
	2002 Jan 15	Typist's Lament	Bloody machine! Why won't it behave?
	2003 Sep 9	U-Boat Blessings	Trilingualism, once a curse,
	2003 Sep 2	Ugly Secrets	Nosy spoonbillers
	2003 Nov 24	Ultimate Detergent	Must you hone your scimitar?
	2003 Jul 29	Unbidden Answer to Cellular Message	The telephone is ringing, dear
	2004 Feb 15	Unblinking Again	Atop my desk, her portrait stared
	2003 Jul 20	Uncertain	(haiku) He spoke haltingly
	2007 Jan 22	Unchained Malady	Into emporia crammed with grime,
	1999 Apr 13	Uncivil Arcade	Gushing geysers greet the dwan with foam and spume and spray
	1999 Apr 15	Uncle Gomez's Dinosaur Eggs	Acres of acrid slime do not make a garden
***	2000 Mar 31	Uncle Helium Meets His Maker	He was born at a quarter to three
	1996 Sep 5	Undeniably Awash	Zernebock howls.
	2000 May 29	Under the Adriatic	In the darkness of the night
	1999 Nov 30	Under the auspices of the Mesopotamian tube-station in Epping	In a distant land called Pernia there ruled a mighty Peach
	2004 Aug 10	Undercover Pastries Lost In Space	In every other window
	2002 Oct 15	Underneath Seattle	Bazooka? Not in my bit of jungle!
	2000 Jun 25	Underneath The Forest Wall	Calypso, on her vaulting-horse
	2003 Nov 25	Underwater Clouds	Aborted in its prime
	2003 Jul 18	Underwear	She doesn't like my underwear
	2000 Nov 23	Undo My Start	Painting the Register Office
	2003 Aug 31	Undressing Swine	I really must take a shower
	1999 Jan 13	Unending Mitigation	Remind me to unwind the clock
	2003 Jun 19	Uneven Recipe	A rushing tide, a rushing tide
	1998 Oct 5	Unfamiliar Hair-brushes Gurgle	Clothing for the absent mind
	2000 Jan 21	Unfastening Tycho's Forbidden Bra	One has to keep one's end up, after all:
	2003 Aug 22	Ungentle Urgings	The rarely recognised conversation
	2001 Jan 24	Unhappy Stampede	Now, here's a story
	2003 Jul 20	Unhealthy Backlash Cliches	I fear my favorite pollywog has indigestion
	2007 Jan 29	Uniformly Bunyan	Futility is much admired, by those outside this burgh,
	2000 May 3	Universal Generalisations Are Tiresome	The chief delight of Roland Rat
	2003 Nov 28	Universally Horsewhipped	Venus and Serena
	2001 Nov 16	Unknown in Civilised Combat	Forests crash about my ears
	2003 Jan 9	Unknown Railway Station Blues	Pimrod was a snappy lad,
	2007 Mar 26	Unless Cruel Servitude Beckons	This lizard, crabbed and taut,
	2000 May 16	Unless They Get Mistresses	Sweet nymph, though thou art ever im my dreams
	2003 Nov 28	Unless You're The Household Pet	Abrasively, your parrot squawks
	2002 Jul 24	Unlikely Bovine Dreams	I sent a message - to an elk?
	2005 Oct 16	Unlikely Caretaker In Kansas	When Pinter won the Nobel Prize
	2003 Sep 24	Unlikely Gumdrops from Savannah	There once was a moose from Ontario
	2001 May 30	Unlikely Spectacles Watch On The Firm	'Pine kernels, artichokes, tuna, beef and cheese'
	2004 Sep 15	Unnecessary Puns As She Grasped Another Cupcake	Her eyes are like a cup of tea
	2001 Dec 11	Unnecessary Tits	In Narnia, the earthworms say,
	1999 Jul 5	Unpleasant Lacuna	To line our wombs with chemicals
	1997 May 21	Unrealistic Coconuts	Merry munchkins mangle macaroons on Mondays
	2003 Apr 22	Unsaid, Unsaid	The red poem remains unread
	2000 Jun 23	Unseen Behind Ourselves Again	Away on the heather'd down
	2004 Apr 28	Unsettled Directions	From the Baltic, travel North
	2003 Jul 17	Unshorn	Ubiquity is the folly of unshorn llamas
	2003 Oct 15	Unsightly Cheesology	I am filled with remorse, and the reasons are three:
	2002 Feb 6	Unspeakable Extracts of Louise	Regicide is just killing the King,
	2004 Oct 26	Unsubtle Songs And Cowboy Gemstones	When packing bags, it's always best to try
	2003 Jul 18	Untitled	Why must you tinkle in your pants?
	2003 Jul 19	Untitled	Dyspeptic diehards turn me on
	2003 Jul 18	Untitled	How softly do the dryads hump
	2003 Sep 1	Untitled	The proof of the rock
	2003 Jul 20	Untitled	(limerick) I knew an old gal from Quebec
	2003 Jul 18	Untitled	Brothels on the hill, tra la
	2003 Jul 19	Untitled	Ten pennies, three shillings and a paper clip
	2003 Jul 19	Untitled	Free verse is my favorite form and so I say to you, "Garbanzo"
	2003 Jul 19	Untitled	These lovely fruit loops in my lap, these hairpins on my dog
	2003 Aug 17	Untitled	Cry wolf
	2003 Jul 18	Untitled	How speckled my rotisserie
	2003 Jul 19	Untitled	(haiku) When once I stood upon
	2003 Jul 18	Untitled	I wish it were true that piggies flew
	2003 Jul 18	Untitled	Remove your babuskha, mister
	2003 Jul 19	Untitled	Heebie jeebies, toil and trouble
	2003 Jul 19	Untitled	Corky has a brand new wife
	2003 Jul 19	Untitled	My luv is like a red red rose
	2003 Aug 13	Untitled	There is a secret hidden in the code...
	2003 Jul 18	Untitled	Children put on your thinking caps
	2003 Jul 19	Untitled	This is in free verse and I mean to state that always the cambembert is stale
	2003 Jul 18	Untitled	What are these glass shards upon the floor?
	2003 Jul 19	Untitled	Francine can you fix the executioner line to fit the meter?
	2003 Aug 15	Untitled, Entitled, Retitled	Untitled
	2003 Jul 23	Untold Grinkles do the Zink	When grinkles with the morgles bink
	1998 Feb 18	Unwholesome Lodgings	The opera-house, from half-past one
	2004 Jun 24	Unworthy Of Scorn	This invention makes me sick!
	1999 Apr 24	Unwound wherries aloft	Calesthenic interprobes are launched into the Sun
	2005 Jan 9	Up In Canada Antlered Creatures Are Everywhere	Perhaps, your new line will go here.
	1997 Mar 23	Upon Losing Worlds Of Azure	A summer's day, there comes an errant knight
	2002 Mar 6	Uppity Evidence	No more peaches! No more cream! I'm off to sail the seas!
	2003 Oct 21	Upside-Down Cat Blues	Sometimes I feel I'm going insane
	2004 May 17	Upstream Candidate	He was singing in Dutch
	2004 Apr 20	Upstream Into Camberwell	So clumsy, so clumsy
	2002 Nov 28	Urging My Example Slowly	She placed the diamond on her toe,
	2004 Jan 21	Ut Nicotinum Ad Adorum Nescientum	The rattle of toys being hurled out of prams
	2003 Nov 12	Vacancy Is All The Rage	This mournful empty space
	2001 Jun 27	Vacant possession of Chichester Cathedral (Song Cycles)	You bled the life from out of his home!
	2003 Aug 6	Vacation for Gingersnaps	I took a trip to Ioway
	2003 Jul 30	Vaccuum Devices Have Undiscovered Potential	I often think that nothing grows so red as a rose where some once Caesar bled.
	2000 Mar 31	Vacuity's Gin Rots One's Pudenda	'Just the place for a Snark!', the Boatman cried
	2000 Jun 20	Vacuum Cleaners Constructed Entirely Out Of Anabaptist Dogma	A rabid armadillo with a beanbag on its head
	2003 Nov 10	Vanishing Dustbins In Dagenham	Disappear into the mist!
	2003 Jul 20	Vegetables, Frankly	You have disrupted my routine, Mrs. Flugle
	2002 Dec 12	Venezuelans and Their Hated Sisters	Christmas gloom is coming soon
	2003 Sep 3	Verse Justice	Ack! My poetic license has been revoked!
	1999 Jan 25	Very East Nineveh	By dint of subtle mime
	2001 Aug 17	Very Figurative	Add your own line to the poem
	2001 Oct 2	Very Old Highlanders	Angels in the centrifuge
	2005 Apr 21	Vestments In Velvet Of Midnight	Only a quarter
	2003 Oct 22	Vice and Chips	The world, a fuzzball, a ball of yarn
	2006 May 1	Vienna In Pencil	Fleeting vision, yesternight,
	2001 Oct 7	Vindaloo (Abbreviated)	I sent my luv a cllphn txt
	2004 Nov 29	Visions Of Shouting Greengrocers	Last night I had the strangest dream
	2003 Aug 3	Visiting the Mortals	In San Francisco, on the trams
	2003 Nov 16	Visitors Not Derailed	If it seems too difficult
	2004 Mar 23	Vladimir's Looted Me Carrot	Silently clutching his kite,
	2003 Aug 8	Vogon Blood Music	Oh fratulous wrontings, enfrog me
	2003 Jul 17	Vogons In Love	Smudge me, I am yours
	2003 Jul 24	Voices Broken	the tiny white wheelbarrow, overturned,
	2006 Jul 18	Void Of Open Finery	Beringed, beribboned, clad in silks
	2003 Aug 12	Void White Truth	It is the blackest of blacks
	1996 Jul 1	Voluntary Pith	Barquentine of Arkansas, the dismal oaf here,
	2003 Nov 29	Voluptuary Meter	Dusty streets and peeling paint
	2005 Oct 31	Vongole Al Limone Con Funghi	Clams are not my favoured dish
	1999 May 14	Vulva buoy	Give me a coin and pass by
	2007 Feb 18	Vulva Pinxit Hinc	Wounded and silently brooding
	2003 Dec 11	Wahhh! Sob Sniff!	Not every poem can please each aesthete
	2000 May 15	Wake! Capitulate!	I had a small Etruscan
	1999 Jan 26	Walk, don't sniffle and you won't get it	When I was walking this I saw:
	2006 Mar 25	Wallpaper For Beavers	I found your umbrella
	2004 Feb 11	Wandering Socks Found Wanton	When JB Priestley, in his bath
	2003 Dec 10	Wanton Destruction Is Assured	Got any new poems to wreck?
	1999 May 26	Warriors from Eternity	I wandered lonely as a nerd
	2003 Jul 18	Was the...?	Every hepcat under heaven
	2001 Aug 7	Washed and Dried in Time	'A ton of prunes, a pickled egg, two muskets and a globe?'
	2003 Aug 21	Washing Fish In My Underwear	So when are ya gonna make up yer mind?
	2004 May 17	Wasted Needlework	Harrumph, I say
	2003 Sep 24	Water Fingers	The Irish invented the limerick
	2004 Dec 11	Watery Flapjacks, Damn It!	Adam and Eve had reason to grieve
	2000 Aug 13	Wattle Orb Brie (Summer)	Whatever happened to summer?
	2000 Apr 12	Waves, Water Under	If you were an ape, what kind would you be?
	2003 Nov 5	We Are More Free In Play	I'd like to haiku
	1998 Aug 12	We Build, The Planes Come	Unbroken, unending, the wine-darkened sea
	2006 Feb 23	We Can All Escape From This Hotel	Clutching and screaming they summoned you hither
	2000 Jun 13	We Falter, Our Falling Too Facile	Whose is the hand that eats my head?
	2004 May 21	We Flee Toward The Far Journey	It is time, I think we'd all agree,
	2004 Jul 6	We Never Boycott Oversights	Got a nice new jersey
	2004 Aug 27	We Penguins Have Closed Supper Clubs Forever	I'm an escapee from sanity
	2004 May 18	We Sold Our Restaurants In Cyprus	Upanishads and Vedic verse
	2005 Apr 14	We Wish You Joy Of Haggis	Before I close this inquest
	2003 Sep 19	Weary With Strangely Sprung Happiness	We tried our darnedests to succeed
	2004 Jul 13	Weather-vane Warning	Behind the grizzled pine
	2000 Jan 29	Weathered Wedding: The Empyrean Dust	It wasn't my intention to rebuild the world at large
	2003 Sep 2	Webfooted Drive Through Town	On the night I was headed for townI went out and waved a cab down
	2004 Jan 17	Weekend Sorrows Melt In Ale	Happy birthday, Kimberley, let's head off to the bar
	2003 Nov 7	Weird Garden	Misanthropic canteloupes are plotting in the dark
***	2005 Jan 11	Welcome To Darci	Delightful news! An heiress to the line
	2004 Aug 27	Welcome To The Never-ending School	Comrade railcar
	2004 Jan 26	Well-wisher's Bride	The grandpaternity suit
	2003 Aug 31	Wellington Shining Through	Telescoping microscopes and shoehorning hornpipes
	2005 Jan 20	Welsh Ditty	There is a tavern in the town
	2004 Nov 25	Wenceslas Is Square Enough For Most	A revolution, velvet-lined,
	2002 Nov 27	Wenches, Rogues, Wrestlers	Not spacious, like a blunderbus
	2004 Aug 27	Westwards In Search Of Undiscovered Pastries	Despite his utter shabbiness
	1999 Jun 11	Wetness, Damp Socks, and Prawns	Although our raft is still marooned
	2004 Jan 14	Wetnurse Burdens	I was hired to breastfeed his pups
	2003 Aug 21	Whackers Are Slackers	Hotchie-totchie, Liberace
	2003 Jul 17	Whackerwocky	'Twas zillig and the mangrove whips
	2003 Jul 19	Whacky	Lapwings on my shoulders, nickels in my purse
	2003 Jul 23	Whales are Silent Warriors	Little children, gather 'round and I will tell a tale
	2005 Nov 22	What A Nefarious Newcomer Might Not Instantly Perceive As Worthwhile Is Often Valueless	Drinking round the clock
	2003 Jan 22	What Are Flemish Trousers?	Astride the edge of any knife
	2003 Aug 5	What Boils Soot?	Whatever shall we do with your Aunt Sadie?
	2003 Nov 26	What Concerned Us As Free Thinkers	Tell me the secret
	1998 Feb 24	WHat Further Unsightly Turbulence Awaits Below?	Carmelites! Before we know
	1997 Sep 15	What if the Princess Can Seem Sentient Without Dissembling?	Cardboard
	2003 Sep 30	What Is Best For Each	Nine yards matter, when in zoos or farms an unclear sign
	1997 Jul 27	What is Golden?	The curlew trolls to Nell of darkling hay
	2003 Aug 22	What is Rope?	When you look around and realise that naught is what it seems
	2006 May 25	What Loving Euthanasia	Clunk! Whrrrrrrr. Zzzzng.
	2003 Nov 7	What The Great Are	A corset for the cranium
	2003 Aug 19	What's The Point Of Intermittency?	Hello, Beefy, howya doin'?
	2003 Aug 8	Whatever I May Need in Make Believe	I may be gone a little while
	2003 Nov 13	Whatever Is When	Wlatsome words were whispered
	2003 Dec 9	Whatever Is Your Pleasure	Across the rolling Irish hills, he rode for Dublin-town
	2007 Feb 8	Whatsoever It Findeth North of Dunfermline	For the Law was given through Moses
	2002 Oct 3	Wheezing Matilda	When I was old, and on my tongue
	2003 Aug 18	When	Here stands a giant
	2003 Aug 29	When a Door is Drunk	A healthy meal of beans is the way to start
	2003 Jul 28	When Ambrosia of the Peppermint...	Moonbeams and fairy dust, stardust and ambosia
	2005 Sep 9	When Caesar Foamed	We danced, in nothing but a hat
	2003 Apr 9	When Did Gingersnaps Vanish From Human Knowledge?	I took a penguin on the tram
	2003 Nov 19	When Einstein Saw Madonna	Elusively, they flit away
	2000 Sep 11	When Everest Falls Sick	If ever there were time for writing poetry, 'tis now
	2005 Dec 1	When Everything Presupposes	I am the Centaur and the sword
	2001 Dec 13	When hamsters stammer	Enough of all this sniping, at the wizards great!
	2003 Oct 25	When I Glorify the Bike	I ride my bike around the house
	2003 Dec 12	When I Splash	Sometimes I like to run around in just my underoos
	2000 Jun 9	When It's When	An addictive personality
	2007 Feb 28	When Leaves Turn	Surely she was never real
	2006 May 12	When London Rose	Could it be summer's here?
	2003 Aug 3	When Mice Lust	Speaking of teeth and mice
	2004 Oct 14	When Nagging Seem Treasonous	"Love me or leave me," my girlfriend remarked
	2003 Aug 19	When Sheep Moo	When spoonbilling, always say "boo!"
	2000 Nov 2	When Shoes Falter	'Bring me a fish with a pear in its mouth!'
	1997 May 4	When Spoons Collide	The outskirts of Odessa
	2005 Jun 3	When Talents Droop As Feathers	One day, I hope to play the concertina.
	2004 Sep 9	When The Final Scone Hovers Above Our Fish-pond	Predictably enough
	2002 Dec 6	When the Spanish Attack	Who dares cross the line?
	2003 Nov 12	When The Wings Are Spread Like Mustard	Is Haiku passe?
	2003 Nov 17	When Things Deceive	Chamonix, beside the name
	2006 Jan 5	When This Ends We Shall, Too	I sprawl, I sprawl
	2000 May 1	When We Got Bob Plastered...	Now I am old, and in men's eyes I see
***	1999 Jan 18	When We Reconsider All Our Footsteps	My grandmother told me on one grand occasion
	1999 Jan 20	When We Were Proteins	In the warm air
	2002 Mar 5	When You Dangle Your Sister in Alabaster	I wandered lonely, as a clod
	2004 Feb 24	Whence Cometh Our Whelp With Its Peculiar Outlook?	It's not just the hole in the dyke
	2001 May 30	Whenever Angels Return to Hampshire	Coming back from London Zoo
	2002 Apr 28	Whenever Sacrifice Demands	Such anger; incoherent rage
	2002 Sep 25	Whenever Scant Plenitudes Provide	He so rotten, she so vain
	2005 Jan 28	Where Angels Spoonfeed Tiny Tots	This small sachet - take a sniff! -
	2002 Dec 27	Where are Nelson's Aubergines?	I put my trousers in the press
	2003 Aug 17	Where Computations Love Cabbage Soup	An inauspicious bread-line debut
	2003 Sep 17	Where Eagles Dribble	Privet skirts the aerodrome
	2006 Mar 15	Where Is It Going To End?	My old conveyor belt
	2005 Mar 10	Wherever Tuesday Blues	Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
	1998 Mar 8	Whether Lewinsky Swore (Wittgenstein's Homily)	The unblessed stranger twisted forth,
	2003 Jul 17	Whether the Dweebs	One summer afternoon, the snow was all around
	2002 Jul 24	While All Those Has-Beens Dance	A brass ring through the eye-lid
	2001 Aug 31	While Columbus Never Bothered	It's now been raining hereabouts for more than half a year
	1999 May 23	While I'm Devoid of Syntax	Slowly, slowly crept the maddened fox
	2005 Apr 25	While Letting Agencies Do Their Damnedest	We pick on them because we know
	2004 Aug 25	While Parachutes Descend Upon Unsuspecting Parsons	To build a good business you must
	1997 Jan 26	Whipped Blood Pudding Regrets	I never met a sailor who could sing
***	1998 Mar 20	Whiskers of Anonymity	Keep your vigil - face the facts
	2005 Sep 8	Whistles	Russell Hoban, king of rhyme,
	2002 Jul 10	Whistling Tortoises	A frond of bracken in the hair
	2006 May 11	White Hotels, Lakes Ablaze, And Blossoms All Falling	Made deaf by the sound of the sea
***	1997 Sep 26	Who Causes Jetsam?	Gulls feed the sky
	2004 Apr 14	Who Dares Grins	Before expiring, Genghis said:
	1999 Mar 28	Who Desecrates the Vector?	Make a portrait of King George upon the very sod
	2004 Feb 24	Who Drank My Sorbet?	Blend one part soot and two parts salt
	2003 Aug 2	Who Hasn't Written Doggerel?!	Blank verse is but pretentious prose - discuss
	2004 Jul 5	Who Knows More Than Folk?	To yield without coercion
	2005 Nov 10	Who Named The Cornucopian	Here comes Cross-Eyed Sam
	1998 Aug 1	Who Once was Orson's Vampire	Judge this breakfast lightly
	2006 Feb 10	Who Prefers Bedsocks?	The little prophets of an idol-king
	2007 Feb 14	Who Shall Own Nerina Pallot	Nerina Pallot® sings divinely
	2001 Oct 5	Who to Blame?	Would you like to be a Womble?
	2003 Sep 22	Who Will Have The Lady Over?	The sun was not shining the day
***	2001 Nov 21	Who Will Seldom Live Unseen?	Invitation, contradiction, punctuation, wedded bliss
	2002 Jan 28	Who Wobbles Behind the Arras?	Champagne was flowing down the stairs, perhaps.
	2003 Nov 28	Who Would Right Their Wrongs?	Our curls may give a false impression
	2003 Aug 26	Who's To Absolve the Jersey Stitch?	There was a young nun from Hoboken
	1997 Aug 18	Whoever timely looks	I've eaten all the Urals
	2004 Jan 20	Whom To Enchant?	Be glad that Wall Street's closed today
	2000 Apr 3	Whose Other Stomach?	Underneath my Mother Tongue
	2000 Oct 3	Whose Shift Avoids Whose Pellicule?	The grumpy armadillo sat in front of his computer
	2003 Aug 20	Why Are Doughtnuts Delicious?	From my window, I can see
	2003 Aug 30	Why Death Is	Twice I read your will
	2003 Aug 7	Why do the Spanish Never Use Toasters?	I've never met a man I didn't like.
	2003 Oct 31	Why Do The Unusual? Why Not!	Why must you paint your toenails ruby red?
	1997 Jun 28	Why Force Can Rescue Folly	Feeling queasy, turning green
	2003 Aug 25	Why Forgive?	Forgive me if I salivate when Pavlov rings his bell
	2003 Aug 25	Why is Rain?	The rain fell only between the hours of 6 and 7
	2003 Sep 23	Why Listen?	If wishes were horses
	2002 Oct 4	Why not experience leprosy first-hand?	There is deep water everywhere
	2003 Dec 30	Why Not? Your Knots Do!	"Compliments of the season" annoys me beyond reason
	2005 Aug 23	Why We Ought Not To Bellow Faintly Throughout Our Dinner	Betrayed by movements in the dark
	2003 Aug 2	Why Won't Secrets Reinvigorate our Parakeet?	Why won't you tell me
	2003 Aug 1	Why you never dared tell the Pope about Mother Hubbard	Why do you chide me when you could ride me?
	2003 Jul 18	Wienerpome	Our story was unfinished! We had not reached the end
	2003 Jul 27	Wiggles in Spain	The bubble bath! The bubble bath! I float in pink champagne.
	2003 Sep 28	Wiggling On Steroids	When playing a game of poker with some dogs
	2003 Jul 26	Will Oceans Devour the Unforeseen Goats?	The rains had not come that year
	2003 Aug 28	Will Scarlett Ruffled Your Whiskers	Try not to get your knickers in a knot
	2003 Dec 29	Windy City Icicles	A man must walk down twenty roads
	2006 Jan 2	Winged Things That Reek Of Myrrh	In dreams of dimes and happenstance
	2003 Dec 8	Wings Of Men Who Wait	The early morning moon is pale as a chalk daub
	2003 Nov 29	Wink!	I think it's time for a limerick
	2006 Feb 28	Wise Virgins Stitched In Gorgonzola	Vanishing by windmills,
	2003 Aug 29	Wish	I wish I were a platypus
	2003 Jul 27	Wish To Be	"It wasn't meant to be," the woman sobbed.
	2003 Jan 10	With Alewife Entwined	'My suspenders came from France...', the naughty minx confessed,
	2004 Jan 16	With Our Dentures Firmly Detached For Whitsuntide	'Mr Spaceman, can't I travel,
	2003 Aug 23	With Suzanne in Swaziland	I never thought of leaving home until I met Suzanne
	2000 Jan 27	Within No Feasible Hemisphere	Why, when death inheres within the very egg
	2004 Jan 4	Without Looking Twice	"Wherefore honkest thou," said I, "although in neighing guise?"
	1998 Mar 31	Witness My Self-important Bitumen	When syrup happens to congeal
	2005 Aug 23	Wittgenstein Therapy	Take parnsip from the heap
	2001 Nov 8	Wittgenstein's Spare Puma	Nascent longing, unrecognized, but pure:
	1999 Apr 23	Wizened Thoughts for Yesterdays' Leak	Tesseracts were falling as if falling were the rage
	2003 Apr 1	Woeful Enigma	My notion of 'A Life of Woe'
	2004 Jan 27	Womenfolk Taken Aback	When shifting the permanent way
	2004 Jan 26	Won't You, Suzanne?	I read the rules with some concern
	2003 Sep 5	Wonders Nobody Knows	Double-u double-u double-u dot
	2001 Feb 22	Wood Knot Rictus	Revival of my former fame
	2002 May 20	Wood-daemon, Guide Me South!	The bittern is a curious bird, according to the sage
	2003 Nov 24	Woodfired	Pizzas spin lazily in the inky depths of space
	2003 Jul 19	Woof	I submit that we are not alone
	2003 Aug 21	Wooing under the Clouds	Ineluctably, you woo me. The clouds
	2003 Aug 19	Words Galore	Words to Live By
	2003 Nov 25	Words That Fail MOTs	Preserve us from another bout
***	2004 Jun 1	Wordsworth's Intention	On viewing Chloe's coccyx
	2003 Jul 24	Work and Home	work, my work, i hate my work
***	2000 Oct 3	World One Hundred	If a man shall lack a shoe
	2003 Oct 24	Worm Turning Circle	Nobody loses all the time
	1999 Dec 24	Worse Shame Than Coal-Shovelling Tendencies	Uncertain and yet, somehow, sure
	2003 Nov 16	Worse Than Any Titans	The next time you think that
	2004 Feb 5	Wresting Joy From Daily Pickles	A pickle I wanted, and yet that darn lid
	2003 Jan 4	Xenophobic Popping	Bisexual biplanes bifurcating
	2003 Sep 5	Yammering Agenda	My political agenda:
	2004 Jan 14	Yeah, Wow, Gollly, Gee, Gasp, Yep, Indeedy, Shucks	Come on baby, let's
	2004 Sep 6	Yeats Upon A Toadstool	Parsimony of the heavens
	1996 Dec 8	Yellow Paris Hags	St Vitus, in his winter robe
	2003 Sep 24	Yellow Pasty Cavalcade	I've heard that folks that are from the U.K.
	2006 May 15	Yes, Cheese Is Edible	I'm glad to see your back
	1997 Oct 7	Yes, Longer	Now the tyrant knows the truth
	2005 Oct 30	Yes, Seamstresses, Invisible Stockings For Marriage Vows	So much nicer now
	2003 Nov 16	Yes, The Very Air Isn't Breatheable Over Our Side	I see your shadow on the wall
	2003 Jul 18	Yesterday Doesn't Go Like This	Yesterday, all my poetry rhymed beautiflay
	2003 Oct 15	Yesteryear Forgotten	Barmy rain lady, why stand in the rain?
	2003 Nov 10	Yet Never Opens	Perfectly embedded in a blue-tooth net
	2003 Nov 1	Yo-Ho-Ho, Piratical Barnacles	Avast me hearties! Haul away!
	2006 Mar 7	Yorick And Friends	The azimuth is past
	2003 Aug 17	You Are Choking Me With Gloves On	You are the very air I breathe, my sustenance
	2003 Jul 26	You can't Have Sushi	Have you ever dated Lucy?
	2003 Aug 3	You Cannot Steal Diamons	I cannot help but feel that if only I had
***	1999 Dec 24	You'll be a Laughing-stock Tomorrow	At this festive, glowing season
	1997 Aug 29	Your Gerbils, My Hotelier	Before I sensed this vacuum
	2003 Nov 27	Your Own Secret Body	A mesomorph, a mesomorph
	2003 Aug 28	Your Prize	There is often told a legend of a treasure
	1997 Mar 10	Your Strict Horses Inhibit My Double Repetition	It was something to do with marmalade
	2004 Nov 16	Your Stupid Obsession With Unworldly People-Carriers	She whitewashed me into the corner
	2000 Apr 12	Your Undoing	By portents, like the sun's eclipse
	2006 Sep 1	Your Villain In This Style	A superhero needs a cape
	2003 Aug 29	Yurt Optometrist	Perpetuating structures: these
	1998 Mar 16	Z's Bequest (The Gamut)	'A' was an Arctic Abacus
	2004 May 11	Zarathustra Lurking In The Out-tray	Colossal, in a home-made hat
	1999 Jan 22	Zen Catfood	Calm throat fortune
	2003 Jan 30	Zen Roots	Balanced calm across the bay
	2004 Jul 13	Zeppelin Without Page	Said Benk, the lusty bear,
	2005 Jan 9	Zeppo Lamenting	Emily and Sally, Kathy and Loureen,
	1998 Mar 21	Zimmerman's Sour Grapes	My lamp-post charm, my seventh life
	1999 May 30	Zinc Oxide Alarum	When Hydrogen confounded Zinc
	2004 Nov 4	Zoology Students On Holiday	My cat has six claws on her frontmost two paws

The Spoonbill Generator Archive

A Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007

Alphabetical List of Titles