Your Stupid Obsession With Unworldly People-Carriers
She whitewashed me into the corner
While I pled with her, "Darling, please don't!"
But my pleading and tears fell, alas, on deaf ears
So I finally screamed at her, "Lorna,
Release me, I promise I won't
Pour salt on Boris, your fav-o-rite slug
Or nightly upchuck on your Aubusson rug
At least for a spell of five years
She blacklisted me at the Palace
While I pled with her, "Darling, please don't!"
But my bleeding and spears fell, alas, on her beers
So I finally mouthed at her, "Alice,
Undo me, I pledge that I won't
Badmouth your looks, lack of wit or panache
Or keep you at home dressed in only a sash
While I vex you with dissolute lears
I bluetoothed her into the Spoonbill
While she pled with me, "Darling, please don't!"
But her kneading and fears fell, alas, on no peers
So she finally promised me, "Soon, Bill,
Uplink me, I swear I won't
Have a go at your goat, nor your beaverskin coat
Prizewinning celebate wedding-gowned boar
In case it should all end in tears
I blackfaced her throughout my archive
While she pled with me, "Darling, please don't!"
But her ceding and smears fell, alas, on my jeers
So she finally cried, "Take my car, Clive,
Unseat me, I vow that I won't
Call a policeman or squeal to the Press
Or claim to sight monsters who live in Loch Ness
If you'll buy me a diamond at Sears
Contributors: | Roland, F, Beefy, Helen Owly, Kansas Sam (from F), simbosa, Dassn't Say, Cimmerian Knight, (trad). |
Poem finished: | 16th November 2004 by (trad). |