Save Our Dickensian Surrogates
To build a good business you must
Ensure that it doesn't go bust
'Til trading suspends
And your broker intends
To turn your good name into dust
Your staff should be servile and stout
And adept at the shred-and-throw-out
Of ledgers and logs
And out-of-spec cogs
Whenever the bailiff's about
Be sure to delay paying debts
Your cash should be spent laying bets
Aspire to waste
Any trust that is based
On Alan Greenspan tete a tetes
When the gov'ment inspector calls round
Ensure that the typists are found
Affixed to their chairs
In different-sizes pairs
And all making hardly a sound
Your dividends, if they are paid
Should be half of the profits you've made
Half, though, of nil
Puts naught in the till
And your shares'll be barred from all trade
On the Bourse or Wall Street be sure
To study the trading room floor
Crawl about like a slug
On some fairly strong drug
And your "rep" in lads' culture will soar
And lastly: your Year-End Report
Should confuse beyond power of thought
Stay vague on your aims
Make toplofty claims
And pray you don't wind up in court.
Contributors: | , Surlaw, Apsley, Roland. |
Poem finished: | 19th August 2004 by Apsley. |