The Spoonbill Generator

Artisans, Ninepence Or Less

In his ochre jodhpurs       [Surlaw ]

P. G. Wodehouse lounged       [Apsley ]

In the beggars' basement       [Surlaw ]

That his father'd scrounged       [Apsley ]

From a distant cousin       [Surlaw ]

Whose builder's hod purrs       [Apsley ]

Nineteen to the dozen       [Surlaw ]

Just outside my casement       [Apsley ]

In the mouldy morning       [Surlaw ]

That some salesman pawned       [Apsley ]

For a beggar's penny       [Surlaw ]

On the which he fawned       [Apsley ]

Wodehouse lost his reason       [Surlaw ]

As a sheep was yawning       [Apsley ]

Half way through the season       [Surlaw ]

In the fields of Letterkenny       [Apsley ]

In his puce pyjamas       [Surlaw ]

T. S.. Eliot basked       [Apsley ]

In the king's apartment       [(trad) ]

Where Columbus asked       [Apsley ]

How the globe might falter       [Surlaw ]

Without several llamas       [Apsley ]

In a single halter       [Surlaw ]

Athwart a bluff escarpment       [Apsley ]

In the fest'ring twilight       [Surlaw ]

Bold Æneas stood       [Apsley ]

Few against the many       [Surlaw ]

By the grizzled wood       [Apsley ]

Eliot, defeated       [Surlaw ]

Only yesternight,       [Apsley ]

As a mutton bleated       [Surlaw ]

Of its woes so many,       [Apsley ]

In his wooden waistcoat       [Shipp ]

V. S. Naipaul       [Apsley ]

Sat in God's jacuzzi       [P ]

With a dish of tripe; all       [Surlaw ]

The goods he owned       [Apsley ]

And his whopping Grey Stoat       [Surlaw ]

(Which once dethroned       [Apsley ]

That author's whining floosie)       [Surlaw ]

In the hot and frothy       [Apsley ]

Maelstrom of despair       [Surlaw ]

That unjustly lashed him       [Apsley ]

In his tungsten chair       [Surlaw ]

Naipaul grew too restive       [Apsley ]

In the silent bothy       [Surlaw ]

For a night of festive       [Apsley ]

Silence. Then we trashed him       [Surlaw ]

By dint of which the astute and non-corrective reader, critic or handsaw will understand:       [Apsley ]

Nothing       [Surlaw ]

Nothing will come of nothing, speak againe       [Apsley ]

With a heigh-ho, the wind and the rain       [(trad) ]

Tiddely-pom, &c., &c. - the rest is silence       [Apsley ]

Contributors: Surlaw, Apsley, (trad), Shipp, P.
Poem finished: 27th January 2007 by (trad).