The Spoonbill Generator

The Caretaker Who Cried Wolf

When once I bumped a smallish man       [Helen Owly ]

Who irked me, from the quay       [loaf ]

Where, brandished high, a talisman       [Apsley ]

Did cause it to decay       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

Apace, unlike dear Caliban       [Apsley ]

He swore and threatened me       [Chevalier ]

He'd pound me into marzipan       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

And sting me with a bee       [Kansas Sam ]

I squared my shoulders then and said       [F ]

"So bring it on, you pimp!"       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

His smallish face turned beetish red       [Kansas Sam ]

His lips began to crimp       [F ]

I yanked then on his tiny tie       [Kansas Sam ]

Did the Moe/Shemp eye-poke       [F ]

He thereupon unzipped his fly       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

(Though small, his thang weren't shy folk)       [Helen Owly ]

When I turned round, a giant form       [Reg ]

Upbraided me in French       [F ]

Sacré bleu! A smallish swarm       [Arnold the Sly Ape ]

Of wasps, and Judy Dench       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

An alter ego of the Dame       [loaf ]

Like Vera Charles to Auntie Mame       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

But doubled up in two,       [Apsley ]

Could this be You-Know-Who?       [Chevalier ]

Contributors: Helen Owly, loaf, Apsley, Kevin Andrew Murphy, Chevalier, Kansas Sam, F, Reg, Arnold the Sly Ape.
Poem finished: 29th June 2006 by Arnold the Sly Ape.