The Spoonbill Generator

Zoology Students On Holiday

My cat has six claws on her frontmost two paws       [Helen Owly ]

I once owned a mouse who had nine       [Grayman ]

They fought tooth and nail, 'til the cat did impale       [Evan ]

The poor mouse and then doused it in brine       [Beefy ]

My dog has six tails on his hindmost back end       [F ]

My little fish has only one       [ambyr ]

The dog, for a lark, taught the fish how to bark       [Beefy ]

A dogfish it was, (that's a pun!)       [Grayman ]

My cow's horns are four -- not one less, not one more       [Evan ]

I once knew a goat which had eight       [Beefy ]

They once both had six, ere they crossed oer the Styx,       [Kansas Sam ]

They're less horny now, what a sad fate!       [F ]

I met two small elves, and their fingers made twelves       [Evan ]

My dybbuk has only three       [F ]

The elves picked a fight, put the dybbuk to flight       [Beefy ]

(Elves always beat dybbuks, you see)       [F ]

My engineered clones cause the mob to throw stones       [Beefy ]

In quadruplicate ad infinitum       [F ]

It's not that I mind that they're all so unkind       [Beefy ]

But of twelve-hundred barks, none will bite 'em       [Helen Owly ]

My love of the science maintains my defiance       [Beefy ]

Though my love of the sea makes me queasy       [simbosa ]

So I've set a stone slab in the heart of my lab       [Beefy ]

For the scientists own lemon squeezy       [simbosa ]

My love of the weird just lengthens my beard       [F ]

But my toenails stay stubbornly short       [Beefy ]

So I pull them with tongs, but that wrights not their rongs       [Kansas Sam ]

Now I can't take my aunt to the Court       [Beefy ]

I went to the park with my favourite shark       [simbosa ]

To play with the young girls and boys       [Beefy ]

He bit off their limbs (Sue's, Sadie's and Jim's)       [fester ]

Now they'll hearken that sharks are not toys       [Beefy ]

I chanced with a dance to enhance this deep trance       [Cimmerian Knight ]

But my therapist bade me awake       [Beefy ]

Now I'll skim on a limb with my favourite pal Jim       [simbosa ]

And then we will both pee in the lake       [Beefy ]

Contributors: Helen Owly, Grayman, Evan, Beefy, F, ambyr, Kansas Sam, simbosa, fester, Cimmerian Knight.
Poem finished: 4th November 2004 by Helen Owly.