The Spoonbill Generator

While Parachutes Descend Upon Unsuspecting Parsons

To build a good business you must       [Kansas Sam ]

Ensure that it doesn't go bust       [Beefy ]

'Til trading suspends       [Roland ]

And your broker intends       [F ]

To turn your good name into dust       [Beefy ]

Your staff should be servile and stout       [Roland ]

And adept at the shred-and-throw-out       [Kansas Sam ]

Of ledgers and logs       [Roland ]

And out-of-spec cogs       [Kansas Sam ]

Whenever the bailiff's about       [Roland ]

Be sure to delay paying debts       [Beefy ]

Your cash should be spent laying bets       [Roland ]

Aspire to waste       [F ]

Any trust that is based       [Roland ]

On Alan Greenspan tete a tetes       [F ]

When the gov'ment inspector calls round       [Beefy ]

Ensure that the typists are found       [Roland ]

Affixed to their chairs       [N ]

In different-sizes pairs       [Roland ]

And all making hardly a sound       [Grayman ]

Your dividends, if they are paid       [Roland ]

Should be half of the profits you've made       [Beefy ]

Half, though, of nil       [Kansas Sam ]

Puts naught in the till       [Karin ]

And your shares'll be barred from all trade       [N ]

On the Bourse or Wall Street be sure       [F ]

To study the trading room floor       [N ]

Crawl about like a slug       [F ]

On some fairly strong drug       [Roland ]

And your "rep" in lads' culture will soar       [Beefy ]

And lastly: your Year-End Report       [Roland ]

Should confuse beyond power of thought       [Beefy ]

Stay vague on your aims       [Roland ]

Make toplofty claims       [Karin ]

And pray you don't wind up in court.       [N ]

Contributors: Kansas Sam, Beefy, Roland, F, N, Grayman, Karin.
Poem finished: 25th August 2004 by Karin.