The Spoonbill Generator

Knighthood For Those In Direst Destitution

I chanced upon a shouting match       [Kansas Sam ]

When in the park I strolled       [Apsley ]

With nosy itch, in need of scratch,       [Kansas Sam ]

Which, scarcely uncontrolled,       [Amste R ]

Had caused me to concoct a batch       [F ]

Of highly potent mould       [Beefy ]

And this I daubed on one whose yells       [Amste R ]

I deemed to be the worst       [Grayman ]

I reckoned trhat the noxious smells       [Beefy ]

Meant something bad had burst       [Roland ]

Forth like repressed Southern belles       [F ]

In dread of speaking first       [Roland ]

He fell to earth, as if struck dumb       [P ]

As if, in deepest dream       [Roland ]

His only choice was to succumb       [Beefy ]

And stifle every scream       [F ]

As all his senses turned to numb       [TG ]

The paupers of East Cheam       [Roland ]

The sudden hush drew quite a crowd       [Beefy ]

Of lawyers smelling tort       [Kansas Sam ]

Who raised their hats and stiffly bowed       [Roland ]

While slavering for sport       [Kansas Sam ]

I almost felt a trifle proud       [Roland ]

To take them all to court       [Beefy ]

The case attracted quite a stir       [Roland ]

Amongst the gutter press       [Beefy ]

Who strove to find out who we were       [Roland ]

And why we looked a mess       [F ]

We told them we could all aver       [Beefy ]

Some shouted second guess       [Roland ]

And when we stood before the judge       [Beefy ]

Where silence was the norm       [Roland ]

The park officials would not budge       [Beefy ]

But shouted out 'Bad form!'       [Roland ]

The judge asked, 'What's that smelly smudge?'       [Kansas Sam ]

We cried: 'You're getting warm!'       [Beefy ]

But as the heat began to rise       [Roland ]

The mould began to grow       [Kansas Sam ]

And then, before our very eyes,       [Beefy ]

It doffed its smart chapeau       [Kansas Sam ]

And, as it shed its quaint disguise       [Roland ]

The bailiff cried: "Oh, no!"       [Beefy ]

"Oh yes!" the mighty voice replied       [Roland ]

It suddenly grew dark       [Beefy ]

My itching nose for scratching cried       [Roland ]

I wished I'd left that park       [Beefy ]

And left Tim Leary's stuff untried       [Kansas Sam ]

That yielded truths so stark       [Roland ]

Contributors: Kansas Sam, Apsley, Amste R, F, Beefy, Grayman, Roland, P, TG.
Poem finished: 16th August 2004 by Kansas Sam.