The Spoonbill Generator

When I went to the bar as a very young man       [(trad) ]

I argued the case of my thirst       [Kansas Sam ]

And using a new and original plan       [(trad-ish) ]

A tonic and gin I soon nursed       [Kansas Sam ]

When I went to the mall as a virginal lass       [F ]

The crowd were not blind to my charms       [Roland ]

So my shopping endeavours were spoiled by a mass       [Beefy ]

Who took turns to take me in their arms       [Roland ]

When I went to sea in a very small sieve       [Beefy ]

Other sailors called me a nut       [F ]

'Til the juice that - when pressed - I was able to give       [Kansas Sam ]

Proved to all I was anything but       [Roland ]

When I took to the air as a very old ace       [Kansas Sam ]

The stewardess called me a stud       [F ]

I thought I could bring a broad smile to her face       [Beefy ]

But Viagra would not fuel my SCUD       [Kansas Sam ]

When I started this verse I knew not what to write       [Beefy ]

Which is fair: you knew not what to read       [Kansas Sam ]

But now I am sure you are sick of it quite       [Roland ]

I will stop, Mate, if you will - agreed?       [Kansas Sam ]