The Spoonbill Generator

Beckham, Rooney, Owen and Scholes       [Padfoot ]

Latter-day heroes for indolent proles       [Beefy ]

Who care more for goal-kicks than saving lost souls       [Apsley ]

And don't give a monkey's for whom the bell tolls       [P ]

To them - a goose!       [Apsley ]

Henman, Federer, Roddick and Hewitt       [Beefy ]

Stars of the screen if only they knew it       [Apsley ]

Who whip down an ace as though there's nothing to it       [Beefy ]

And when, in a cupboard, just don't fail to do it       [Apsley ]

Let's turn them loose       [Beefy ]

Stanford, Parry, Tippett and Britten       [Apsley ]

And let's not forget Strachey, (that's Lytton)       [F ]

Whose work dins our ears like the boom of a bittern       [Beefy ]

I studied them all, then flunked out in mid-term       [F ]

Oh - what's the use?       [Beefy ]

Moral:       [Apsley ]

When Strachey calls the tune       [Roland ]

You might as well read "Dune"       [Beefy ]