Maidens Irritated When Their Purity Runs Out
A thesaurus was stoned to death, a diction'ry was raped,
I would have stopped the vandals, but my hands and feet were taped
Adhesive ribbons bound each limb, yet still my supple toes
Could fathom out the argument and still improve the prose
"What need have you of ref'rence tomes?", asked Little Piggy Least
(That Satanistic champion and brother of the Beast)
I sense Roget's Thesaurus leaves us crying out for more
So little Piggy took the bus to the all night liquor store
"How many does 'quixotic' score?" my maiden aunt enquired
"Sorry, Dear," I told her, "You've no U, so you're still mired"
A quick review of Webster's oeuvre proved I was quite correct
Yet still dear Auntie Clara wouldn't fess to her defect
How useful is the D of Qs? - Let me count the ways!
If you give me deuces, I'll counteract with treys
But out of all the groaning shelves stuffed full of works of reference
"My first bathtime ABC" remains my stalwart preference
Contributors: | Apsley, Beefy, Arnold the Sly Ape, F, choke, Kansas Sam, Ethetran. |
Poem finished: | 30th June 2004 by Beefy. |