The Spoonbill Generator

These old molluscs, bought for tea, inscribe       [Apsley ]

No finer epitaph than lore of kings       [Surlaw ]

For them that buy the drink that I imbibe       [Apsley ]

For them that sell the stupor drinking brings       [Surlaw ]

And thus to prohibition soon subscribe       [Apsley ]

When we view them, gratis, it is plain       [Roland ]

That they are not the clams that they once were       [Apsley ]

Nor does their erstwhile patina remain       [Surlaw ]

For them that downed them yesterday with myrrh       [Apsley ]

To douse the equilibrium of pain       [Surlaw ]

We see that, for example, they have lost       [Apsley ]

All vestige of the flesh, the carapace       [Surlaw ]

Was shattered by a blow when we'd been crossed,       [Apsley ]

When leading with a trump drew out an ace       [Surlaw ]

And caused the wayward cards soon to be tossed       [Apsley ]

Envoi       [(trad) ]

Fond old Falstaff - in the flesh -       [Apsley ]

Dominates Cordelia's creche       [Surlaw ]

Whilst Malvolio - in his tights -       [Apsley ]

Proves a basket of delights       [Surlaw ]