The Spoonbill Generator

Behold the spineless fossil       [Roland ]

I found it in my soup       [Padfoot ]

Whoever gives a toss'll       [Beefy ]

Be less than cock-a-hoop       [Roland ]

With it stuck in his throstle       [Apsley ]

It's bound to give him croup       [Beefy ]

Behold the Art Curator       [Roland ]

I baked him in a pie       [Padfoot ]

With carrots and potater       [Grayman ]

To hurl at passers-by       [Roland ]

I thank my alma mater       [Beefy ]

Which brought me home and dry       [Roland ]

Behold the tattered curtain       [Beefy ]

I shredded in a trice       [Apsley ]

The day I left for Girton       [Roland ]

With a troupe of mice       [Apsley ]

(Graduates of Merton)       [Surlaw ]

To seek a life of vice       [Beefy ]

Envoi       [Roland ]

The eye of the beholder       [(trad) ]

Will weep on any shoulder       [Roland ]