Attraction Determined By Inquest
He took her down a leafy lane
For reasons he could not explain
Although forensic traces show
He meant that she should never know
That, being several times her age
As reckoned at some later stage,
He should have kept the upper hand
In this so cold and distant land
And not foregone the cruel delight
Of hiding canes she subbed for sight
To slake his nether appetite
We took him to a holding cell
For reasons we decline to tell
Yet when our reasoned methods failed
(The scumbag never even quailed)
We fell to teasing him, and said
"Tell all the truth, or end up dead"
At this, he took his wallet out
And showed his boys: one Cub, one Scout
And one misshapen, eldritch thing
With what he called his "magic ring"
Together, on a garden swing
THey hauled him up before the judge
(To vouchsafe why, we can't begrudge)
Who, gazing stenly, sent him down
To show the children of the town
What ills befall the wretched poor
The man of steel, the wench of straw
When all are judged on looks alone
Not strength of mind nor weight of bone
They know that Justice is not blind
Until the jury's cheque is signed
The moral is -- oh, never mind!
Contributors: | (trad), Beefy, loaf, Apsley, asdf, Roland. |
Poem finished: | 28th May 2004 by Anon.. |