Beaten Fluffy
I took my bitch to get her shaved on Park Lane yesterday
I liked to call her "Lady", but she still wouldn't come
Words alone are not enough to bring a bitch to heel
So I bribed her with the promise of ribena and rum
The pet trichologist was cute, I asked her for a date
She palmed a dollar bill with a hatted hare
Which prompted me to mutter "Ears and whiskers, I must dash"
"Abracadabra... a wig for Alice!" pens the chair.
Back in the street, the shaven pooch and I then slouched around,
The one of us half sober, the other one half drunk
Women passed by, I gawked in a drunken keel
But knew I could do nothing, 'cause as the booze took hold my manhood shrunk
We tried some fetch, then sit and beg - that brought my tail to wag
Until it was Eliza's turn, who decided not to play dead, but
Start a tug-'o-war about a vomit-sodden rag
Left there, no doubt, by women female poets, though half-cut
Contributors: | Apsley, archaeopteryx, chaise, loaf, Beefy, Big Andy. |
Poem finished: | 24th January 2004 by Anon.. |