The Spoonbill Generator

Be glad that Wall Street's closed today [Kansas Sam]

The bulls and bears on hold [F]

For they your hopes will soon betray [Apsley]

As sellers short foretold [Kansas Sam]

Be glad you won't be getting mail [F]

No statements need you hide [Kansas Sam]

Nor will you have to post the bail [F]

Nor flirt with suicide [loaf]

Be glad to have a day's respite [Beefy ]

From jobbing on the floor [loaf]

A day when you don't have to fight [Beefy ]

Nor face the brokers' roar [loaf]

Be glad the market's roar is hushed [Beefy ]

Enjoy the lightened load [loaf]

And, when your testicles are crushed, [Apsley]

Rejoice they sha'n't explode [Anon.]