The Spoonbill Generator

Pay Cash For Everything Except Unguents

Late Christmas Eve the lot was dark, and so I filched a tree [Kansas Sam]

I wrapped it well, but found I couldn't fit it in a stocking [Ethetran]

I tied it up with strong, thick rope and strapped it to my back [Big Andy]

(It's not so hard to carry, after you've acquired the knack) [Beefy ]

But after half a mile my knees began a-knocking [Big Andy]

And so, I parked it near a pub, and ducked inside for tea [Kansas Sam]

The landlord bade me welcome there, and drew a pint of mild [Beefy ]

But after several, sad to say, I became quite wild [F]

On Christmas morning I awoke and found myself in clink [Beefy ]

And forthwith phoned my barrister who refused to take my call [F]

I tried to charm the sergeant but he laughed and turned away [Beefy ]

(And yes, I languished in that cell for an entire day) [F]

As Christmas night fell and the moonlight lit the wall [Big Andy]

I realized, as I thunk my thoughts, less tree and yuletide drink, [Kansas Sam]

Less madcap revelries, less of almost everything [F]

Woud serve to give the Christmastide its peaceful, festive ring [Beefy ]

Envoi [Roland]

If Christmas comes but once a year, what lessons should we learn? [Beefy ]

Maybe all the other prophets ought to get a turn? [Roland]

Contributors: Kansas Sam, Ethetran, Big Andy, Beefy, F, Roland.
Poem finished: 29th December 2003 by Kansas Sam.