The Spoonbill Generator

Avoidance Of Outrageous Aphorisms

There was an old man, Mr. Tucker [F]

Who was known as a bit of sucker [N]

He said, "I'm in heat!" [F]

And he started to bleat [Grayman]

And you thought I would use the word f***er [F]

There once was a grey haired old banker [Big Andy]

Whose body was leaner and lanker [Irene Adler]

He said with a grin [Big Andy]

"Though I know 'tis a sin, [Ethetran]

I cannot resist weighing anchor" [D Earwicker]

Marianne Faithfull just bickers [Grayman]

Yet still I have faith that her knickers [Kansas Sam]

Aren't tied in a knot [Irene Adler]

though her vocal cords rot [bob]

She sings when she counters my dickers [Kansas Sam]

A little Venusian named Splurk [F]

Got some stilts from his boss as a perk [Kansas Sam]

He walked to his ship [Irene Adler]

In a silky blue slip [Big Andy]

As tall and as proud as Jim Kirk [N]

An openly gay slug called Nigel [Big Andy]

Had his telescope focused on Rigel [N]

He said, "It's Uranus" [F]

(Which did entertain us) [N]

(Better than reading the Bible) [F]

A strapping young lad from Kentucky [N]

Fondled his wee rubber ducky [F]

'Twas his favourite toy [N]

That he oft would employ [F]

Whenever he couldn't get lucky [N]

A dozen young lads in a car [asdf]

Had driven incredibly far [N]

They said, "Let us stop" [F]

"And open the top" [N]

"And swig from an old Mason jar" [F]

(That last one, I guess, didn't gel [Kansas Sam]

So what can I say but, "Oh, well...") [F]

(Now, who closed that paren?! - [Kansas Sam]

Some fellow called Len?) [F]

How will it finish - can anyone tell? [N]

These limericks are fairly clean [F]

And better than some that I've seen [Beefy ]

By children of three [Roland]

Or my cousin Marie [Grayman]

But I think that they're loosing their sheen. [Big Andy]

Contributors: F, N, Grayman, Big Andy, Irene Adler, Ethetran, D Earwicker, Kansas Sam, bob, asdf, Beefy, Roland.
Poem finished: 21st November 2003 by Anon..