The Spoonbill Generator

America, Land Where Meiosis Reigns

I've heard that the folks in the U S of A [Ethetran]

wear Braves caps backwards and constantly pray [Dassn't Say]

For a facial rub with an oily rag [loaf]

And sometimes wear a grocery bag [F]

Tied to their belts, filled with snacks [e]

When hunkered down, they show their cracks [F]

In their enormous denim'd butts [e]

They settle into La-Z-Boy ruts [Karin]

Then watch their football, beer in hand [F]

And get too sloshed to even stand [Karin]

America, land of overindulgence! [Dassn't Say]

May we bask in your effulgence! [Beefy ]

They spell some words without the "u" [Kansas Sam]

Words like behavio*r, savio*r, and tr*e [e]

And use superfluous words a lot [Beefy ]

On the Queen's English they are a blot [Karin]

But leave us not be too unkind [Beefy ]

Our unspelled "r's" they'll never find [Kansas Sam]

One thing the Yanks are good at, though [Dassn't Say]

Is idoliZing those who make much "dough" [Karin]

Even foxes guarding hens [Kansas Sam]

Sometimes gaze through rosy lens [F]

Or go, like laid-back Yank folk, "with the flow" [Dassn't Say]

Although it's mostly for show [e]

We Britons have but failings few [Kansas Sam]

To our principles we always hold true [e]

Never let our feelings brew [Georgette]

Or let the pattern run askew [Beefy ]

Fish and chips, cups of tea [Padfoot]

Made the Empire great, say we [Beefy ]

Cricket on the village green [Padfoot]

Starving the Irish and saving the queen [Dassn't Say]

We like to keep our humour dry [Ethetran]

And view "abroad" with jaundiced eye [Beefy ]

Our food is bland, and boiled well [Ethetran]

We never shout, we never yell [Beefy ]

We'll not forgive the Germans yet [Ethetran]

(Although we like the ones we've met) [Beefy ]

And the battle for the sunbeds [fester]

The chief of our Iberian dreads [snood]

We made the sports the whole world plays [Ethetran]

(Although we never win these days) [N]

We gave you scones and fish 'n chips [Dassn't Say]

You gave us muffins, chips 'n dips [e]


Contributors: Ethetran, Dassn't Say, loaf, F, e, Karin, Beefy, Kansas Sam, Georgette, Padfoot, fester, snood, N, Anon..
Poem finished: 25th September 2003.