The Spoonbill Generator

The Hoity-Toity Envelopes

There was a young painter from Maine [F]

Who seemed a wee off, not insane [smrtypnts]

But his loss of one ear [Kansas Sam]

Made him appear [smrtypnts]

Lopsided and in chronic pain [dok]

There's an old writer from Georgia [smrtypnts]

Who emulates Cesare Borgia [Karin]

While not Machiavelli [dok]

(Who's so very smelly) [N]

He's still quite a competent forger [Ethetran]

A middle-aged hoofer from Texas [Karin]

Danced square on all nine of her ex-es [Anon.]

She used her spike heels [F]

To elicit the squeals [N]

Then drove over them with her new Lexus [F]

A crazy old guy from Hawaii [N]

Poked out his eye and cried, "Aieeeee!" [Anon.]

He danced up and down [quasi]

Then scurried uptown [F]

And asked of his doctor, "Why me?" [N]

I think I shall sit in the tub [F]

With my favourite flannel, and scrub [N]

My back and my feet [F]

With flair and conceit [baoloa]

Then head right on out to the pub [N]

I once had a mistress named Sue [F]

She was buxom and sensual too [N]

She liked to lick toes [F]

And never said noes [baoloa]

And would better off kept in a zoo [N]

A spritely young thing from New Hampshire [Ethetran]

Had just bought a furry pet hamster [N]

On bringing it home [Ethetran]

Did it merrily roam [N]

Its antics did fully entrance her [N]

There was a young man from Melbourne [F]

Whose embarassing name was 'Sheldon' [snood]

But the size of his nose [fester]

was a blessing for crows [ellie]

As a platform from which they could sell porn [fester]

When watching a film with Tom Cruise in [Anon.]

My great uncle Tim started musing [ellie]

If I were a she [smrtypnts]

I'd sure think that he [Ethetran]

Could use me for a bit of abusing [fester]

When I think of Little Miss Muffet [Beefy]

I remember how she came to snuff it [fester]

She spent too much time [Beefy]

Eating foul cheesy slime [fester]

And trying to ape Jimmy Buffett [Beefy]

Contributors: F, smrtypnts, Kansas Sam, dok, Karin, N, Ethetran, quasi, baoloa, snood, fester, ellie, Beefy.
Poem finished: 19th September 2003.