The Spoonbill Generator

The Bob Job Murders

I once had an uncle named Bob [mel]

Who refused to acquire a job [Karin]

He'd sit in his chair [archaeopteryx]

Building castles in air [Kansas Sam]

In short, just your average slob [Beefy]

Bob had a wife named Priscilla [Karin]

As aunts go, a real killer-diller [Beefy]

She planned out Bob's murder [Karin]

(He'd "fall" from a girder) [Beefy]

Sit back folks - you're in for a thrilla! [Karin]

The first task that challenged Bob's spouse [Beefy]

Was finding a tall half-built house [Kansas Sam]

She recruited some thugs [Karin]

And poodles and pugs [archaeopteryx]

Who would somehow get rid of the louse [snood]

So they lured him one night to a pub [F]

'Twas an offer he hardly could snub [N]

They laced his bock beer [F]

Which caused him to veer [Karin]

But only his toe did he stub [F]

Little did Bobbo suspect [mel]

That they were about to inject [F]

A most deadly poison [Karin]

Compounded of boysen-
berries and other such dreck [F]

As soon as Bob had passed out [Karin]

A certain ugly old lout [F]

Helped the poodles to drag him [Karin]

Out into the wagon [Anon.]

Was he in trouble? No doubt [F]

They drove off with Bob in the back [N]

Tied up in a thick gunnysack [F]

He started to squirm [N]

And felt most infirm [F]

It was clear they would have to change tack [N]

Poor Bob was thrown in the river [F]

This last bit will cause you to shiver: [N]

He cried out, "Oh, please!" [F]

Prompting the pugs to make pees [Karin]

Before sitting back down all a quiver. [Anon.]

Contributors: mel, Karin, archaeopteryx, Kansas Sam, Beefy, snood, F, N, K8, .
Poem finished: 5th September 2003.