The Spoonbill Generator

I wish I were a platypus [Nym]

Or maybe an aardvark [F]

Or a blue-footed booby [Dassn't Say]

Or Scooby-dooby-dooby [F]

My feet would be webbed and leathery and cool [Karen]

My nose will be awfully long [Anon.]

My metrication would be abysmal [loaf]

And my fortune cataclysmal [Beefy]