The Spoonbill Generator

True Stories but Grossly Truncated

There once was a man who was purple (world's hardest limerick coming up...) [hercules]

Who's favourite pet was a gerbil [N]

In a state of rage [K8]

He got up on stage [N]

If I don't shoot you Wyatt Earp'll [Karen]

There once was a wiley old fox [N]

Who liked to steal young ladies' socks [F]

He give them a sniff [N]

Whilst jerking his quiff [F]

As his vixen would fondle her box [Anon.]

I once bonked the man in the moon [F]

On page four of my fav'rite cartoon [N]

And Donald and Mickey [Randy]

Were taking a sicky [N]

And the dish went and buggered the spoon [Randy]

I once tried to e-mail the Queen [N]

A description of my teeny peen [F]

So the minister of smut [Randy]

Suggested my butt [N]

Should be drawn and quartered (how mean) [Randy]

I hear you married your cousin [F]

It sure caused a whole lotta fussin' [N]

You both have swell genes [F]

You know what that means? [N]

The mutant you bear will be cussin' [F]

Have you heard of the girl with one breast? [N]

It sat smack in the center of her chest [Anon.]

When buying a bra [N]

She'd look at her flaw [F]

And admire how it pointed due 'West'. [Anon.]

Whenever I feel like a shag [Beefy ]

I purchase a small paper bag [snood]

And call to the girls: [Beefy ]

Look inside, you'll find pearls [snood]

But instead they find my bald stag [archaeopteryx]

I find, if I stand in a stream [Beefy ]

Of urine and heavy whipped cream [archaeopteryx]

I'm oddly ecstatic [F]

And slightly orgasmic [archaeopteryx]

Thinking it is some kind of dream [smrtypnts]

Contributors: hercules, N, K8, Karen, F, Anon., Randy, Beefy, snood, archaeopteryx, smrtypnts.
Poem finished: 18th August 2003.