The Spoonbill Generator

Kamasutra for Happy Knives and Spoons

Not a LimerEpic

There was a fine seller of pearls [Anon.]

Who liked to undress all the girls [F]

They'd come to his shop [N]

To pet "Bunny", his Lop, [K8]

Who'd rummage amongst their curls [N]

A guy and his girl were skiffling [F]

But his efforts, she thought, were piffling [N]

Though he smorked her nerp [F]

He failed to slurp [N]

Her quincy. No wonder she's sniffling [F]

While under the glimmering moon [N]

My lover and I would spoon [F]

I'd fondle her hair
And imagine her bare [Anon.]

And then wonder if she had a poon [F]

A near-sited froteur named Billy [Randy]

Would put on his glasses to dilly [F]

But his eyesight's so crappy [Randy]

That he is quite happy [F]

If he dillies a hobo named Willy [Randy]

An astronaut circling the globe [F]

Was alone so he thought he'd disrobe [Randy]

He had a taut body [F]

Space made him feel naughty [Randy]

So he started to play with his lobe [F]

A loud mouth old lesbian, Lola [Randy]

Drank Pepsi, not Coca-Cola [F]

But her flatulence struck [Randy]

Like a rear-ending truck [F]

And blew us all to Angola [baoloa]

A chippy named Mrs. Magee [F]

Had a husband named Fibber, you see [Randy]

She'd try to seduce him [F]

And try to induce him [Randy]

To kama her sutra, A - Z [F]

A mild-mannered milquetoast, Mike Miller [Randy]

Made maidens milk my maziller [F]

But his ziller went dry [Randy]

And I bade them good-bye [F]

And went to give head to Godziller [Randy]

An old pansy named Hercules Spong [F]

Likes to play with his schlong all day long [Randy]

It's short and it's slimy [F]

Gol blimey it's grimy [Randy]

So he chose to just puff on his bong [F]

Mr. Jones found a boil on his bum [Randy]

And had it excised for a sum [K8]

But a hole did remain [Randy]

Which caused mental pain [F]

So he drank a whole bottle of rum [Randy]

Contributors: N, F, K8, Randy, baoloa.
Poem finished: 17th August 2003.