The Spoonbill Generator

Because the Orchestral Are Orchestral

Flutes are mainly known by their ability [N]

To prove their players' puckering agility [Anon.]

Oboes are not famed for their nobility [Anon.]

Even though they sound without humility [Anon.]

Clarinets are instruments with attitude [N]

Though cowards if you call them on their baditude [Kansas Sam]

Bassoons are often plagued with such ineptitude [Anon.]

Their many parts betray a sad decrepitude [Kansas Sam]

Trumpets always blare with such impertinence [Anon.]

Their brassy valves are bent on brash invertinence [Anon.]

The horns are understood to play with obstinance [N]

Tendentious in their loud, unruly mobstinance [Kansas Sam]

Trombones like to slide around most playfully [N]

Bent on bending all their notes clichéfully [Kansas Sam]

And tubas blow the bass line gracefully [N]

When not pursuing lady brasses chasefully [Kansas Sam]

Violins try hard to be melodious [Anon.]

Instead, they make your aching head explodious [Kansas Sam]

Violas, like their players, are commodious [N]

But sounds they make are famously corrodious [Kansas Sam]

Cellos are especially emotional [Anon.]

Their cadences, in fact, quite devotional [F]

The basses' claim to fame is mainly notional [N]

The lowest notes at times immotional [F]

The timpani make noises quite cacophonous [N]

Not many can endure the raucousness [F]

The harp produces sounds sublimely euphonous [N]

The heavenly sound to some sounds ominous [F]

The orchestra is quite a noisy gathering [Anon.]

My senses soon begin unraveling [F]

The conductor is responsible for fathering [Nym (rather sing?)]

A host of protegees. It's bothering. [F]

Contributors: N, Kansas Sam, F, Nym (rather sing?).
Poem finished: 12th August 2003.