The Spoonbill Generator

Batman and Gawain (The Quest)

Now, hearken, I'll tell you the tale [asdf (from Beefy)]

(It will make you turn ghostly and pale) [P]

A quest for a thing [Kansas Sam]

(No, it wasn't a ring) [P]

"Holy Lancelot, Batman!": The Grail [Kansas Sam]

At the court of King Arthur they learned
Of a mythical prize to be earned [Nym]

So Batman told Robin,
"Quick! Off to Bat-jobbin'!" [Kansas Sam (2)]

"No stone will we leave unturned." [Karin]

Merlin was grave, for the dangers were rife [Nym]

"Seeketh the grail and risketh thy life!" [Karin]

But they heeded him not
And came up with a plot [Nym]

That involved old King Arthur's young wife [Randy]

For now that her hubby was dead
She hung out with 'Lancy' instead [Nym]

She was quite the harlot [Francine]

Or so said her varlet [Karin]

And he was the one made her bed [Francine]

But Batman and Robin they needed a knight [N]

So they asked Guinevere, "If you might--" [Francine]

"Help out with our scheme" [Nym]

"Our impossible dream" [F]

Guinevere said "oh go fly a kite" [Randy]

And so Batman and Robin withdrew [Francine]

They knew then what they had to do [Anon.]

Call up Lancelot [F]

Who drops his pants a lot [Randy]

And hope that he wasn't too blue [Francine]

When Lancelot finally got dressed [Ms. anon]

His pants were up and nicely pressed [Randy]

He shouted "To horse!" [Beefy]

I shall a divorce [baoloa]

Seek at once - it's all for the best [Beefy]

The Dynamic Duo now sought [Karin]

To leave the Arthurian court [Beefy]

By the door to the moat [P]

(Where they parked the Bat Boat) [Kansas Sam]

'gainst Lance & Gawain they then fought. [Karin]

There were batarangs clashing with swords [N]

The winners would reap the rewards [td]

They fought through the night [N]

And when it was light [Karin]

The bodies were piled up in hordes [N]

Then it was that Batman raised [Karin]

His body was battered and grazed [N]

He cried, "I'm not done!" [F]

Lance pulled out a gun [N]

The medievalists all were amazed [F]

"One twitch of your cape, and I'll fire!" [N]

"Holy round table!" cried Robin. A squire-- [F]

Brought news from the King [Beefy]

Of that not-a-ring thing [Kansas Sam]

That he want the pair to acquire [P]

"Why don't we team up?" Robin cried [Beefy]

"Yes, that's it!", Batman said to his bride [Kansas Sam]

A pact was soon sealed [Beefy]

To divide up the field [Kansas Sam]

And they feasted on food that was fried [archaeopteryx]

"So where should our searching commence?" [Beefy]

"Well, I guess I'll put in my two pence" [archaeopteryx]

"Let's start near that sign" [Anon.]

"For chalice divine" [archaeopteryx]

"Then, leave us depart and go hence!" [Evan]

At last did our heroes prevail [Karin]

They boarded a ship and set sail [Anon.]

But in Homeric fashion [anon]

And sidetracked by passion [Karin]

They rammed right into a whale! [Robert]

The whale was quite angry, of course [Francine]

It was dining on plankton and sauce [N]

As its meal was upturned [Karin]

It was miffed and concerned [td]

And raged with consid'rable force [N]

So Batman whispered to Robin [baoloa]

"Just look how this creature is sobbin'--" [N]

We should take our hankies [baoloa]

And several perjankies [F]

If only this boat would stop bobbin' [N]

When at last the waves did abate [Karin]

The whale looked down at his plate [Anon.]

But sadly he saw
His meal was no more [Nym (2)]

So our heroes he commenced to berate. [Karin]

"Just watch where you're going, you fools!" [N]

"Even seafaring grail quests have rules" [Karin]

Said this whale with a glare [Robert Commerford]

Then he told them where [baoloa]

The fish go to find the best schools [TG]

So Robin did ask what they taught [Anon.]

(forgetting about the grail he most sought) [Robert]

The whale seem pained
But then he explained [N]

That lecturing there was naught [baoloa]

"What use is a school with no classes?" [N]

"Where pupils just sit on their... benches?" [Grayman]

That's all he would say [Beefy]

He then went away [archaeopteryx]

With our heroes left flat on their asses [Beefy]

Contributors: asdf (from Beefy), P, Kansas Sam, Nym, Kansas Sam (2), Karin, Randy, Francine, N, F, Anon., Ms. anon, Beefy, baoloa, td, archaeopteryx, Evan, anon, Robert, Nym (2), Robert Commerford, TG, Grayman.
Poem finished: 4th August 2003.