The Spoonbill Generator


"You smell bad, Father William," the young man said, [Kansas Sam (from Carroll)]

And your stench makes kids run in fright [Karin]

And yet you do nothing but polish your head - [Kansas Sam]

You do stink - an outrage! Unseemly blight! [Karin]

"In my socks," Father William replied to his son [Francine]

I fear there will erupt a flame [Karin]

But now that I'm sensing my ham needs a bun [Francine]

Why, I wish I could steady my aim." [Kansas Sam]

"You are squat," said the youth, "and your frogs are too plump [Francine]

And your toads are too warty and skinny." [Dassn't Say]

Yet you stun-gun yourself with no hope to out-jump [Kansas Sam]

The filly whose whinny is tinny. [Dassn't Say]

"In a booth," said the sage, as his pungence effused, [Kansas Sam]

"I crept on my shins most supple [Karin]

By living in a shoebox, it's cheap and hardly used [Nym]

Perfect for a wedding couple [Anon.]

"You smell bad," said the youth. "Dude, your stench is so foul [Kansas Sam]

"And you have several boils to boot" [Francine]

Yet at hostels, you steal little soaps and the towel [Kansas Sam]

So why are you dirty, you coot?" [Francine]

"In my youth," said his father, "I starred in Hee Haw, [Kansas Sam]

"And bungled each number with flair [Francine]

So Junior, disgusted, ate four heads of slaw [Kansas Sam]

And tried not to pull out his hair. [Francine]

"What Junior did next - well, you figure it out," [Kansas Sam]

Said, his father, "Don't tango with bears" [Francine]

And when working with hicks who have cole slaw about [Kansas Sam]

I advise you to tumble down stairs [Francine]

Contributors: Kansas Sam (from Carroll), Karin, Kansas Sam, Francine, Dassn't Say, Nym, Anon..
Poem finished: 27th July 2003.