The Spoonbill Generator

Whales are Silent Warriors

Little children, gather 'round and I will tell a tale [F]

Of when I was a little boy, and rode upon a whale [Nym]

And how the coogills followed us and trilled this purple song: [F]

"Where are you going, Billy Fing, we'd like to come along" [Nym]

"My whale and I are searching, friends, for Jam-and-Jelly James" [Evan]

If only we could find a way to spell their silly names [unkempt]

Surprisingly, and all at once, a porpoise joined our fleet [snood]

But then a tuna fishing boat caught him as tuna meat [asdf]

The Calico Rhinoceros on Qualgar's silver shore [Neil]

Was waiting there to greet us, and curtsied when he saw [Nym]

Me riding oh-so-grandly there, astride that noble beast [Kansas Sam]

We came ashore, and on the beach was laid a royal feast. [Nym]

I dined with great alacrity; and yet, the hungry whale [Kansas Sam]

Looked on most mournfully; it's hide began to pale [Nym]

For they were serving tuna...and the color wasn't right [Kansas Sam]

Tuna should be dark you see, and this was rather light [Nym]

And then I saw a tattoo--Thelma--in the salad! [Kansas Sam]

I remembered then my love, and sang a lonely ballad [Nym]

At that, the whale began to wail, "Thelma ... is ... my name" [Kansas Sam]

I knew I'd done her wrong, and hung my head in shame. [Nym]

"Don't feel bad", she said to me, "for eating Dearest Max" [Kansas Sam]

"You couldn't know he was my friend, I hadn't given you the facts" [Nym]

"Our friendship was platonic, yet our love deep, like the sea" [Kansas Sam]

"He organized the mermaids' ball, and also, without fee [Francine]

"I'll always fondly think of him, happy in your stomach" [Nym (hi F)]

"And, no doubt, when I tell you this, you'll consider me a comic" [F (hi, N & all)]

But a tear welled in her eye, and my heart went out to Thelma [Nym]

And also to myself for I had gotten salmonella [Francine]

So there I lay quite sickly, upon that silver beach [Nym]

I reached for Pepto Bismol, but that I could not reach [Kansas Sam]

And this, I felt, was just desserts for eating Dearest Max [Francine]

So, children, if you get the trots, the moral is: relax [Kansas Sam]

Contributors: F, Nym, Evan, unkempt, snood, asdf, Neil, Kansas Sam, Francine, Nym (hi F), F (hi, N & all).
Poem finished: 23rd July 2003.