The Spoonbill Generator

Ivor the Besotten

Unbeknown to Ivor Pooter [snoodmeister]

Pegleg was Venusian [Anon.]

And a practising Lubavitcher [Anon.]

His philosophy, Malthusian [Francine]

Mr Pooter was from Mars however [Nym]

His wife from Solar Plexus [Francine]

They lived inside a crater [Nym]

Along with all their exes [Francine]

So when Pegleg came to visit them [Nym]

He packed extra Viagra [Francine]

Venusians are renowned you see [Nym]

For coming like Niagara [Francine]

So at Ivor's house the scene was set [Nym]

The aliens gathered 'round [Francine]

Antennae, slime and tentacles [Nym]

A heaving laocoon mound [Francine]

Pegleg of course was quite resplendent [Nym]

He wore his see-through pants [Francine]

His body shimmered vibrantly [Nym]

His thing a throbbing yellow lance [Francine]

The Neptune Ladies all began to drool [Nym]

Tore off their teflon blouses [Francine]

Wriggled out of 7-holed panties [Nym]

A scene that thence arouses [Francine]

Poor Ivor grew quite jealous [Nym]

When Pegleg grabbed his wife [Francine]

He loaded up his rifle [Nym]

And grabbed his trusty knife [Francine]

But Pooter's gal was quite besotten [Nym]

She gurgled, "Spare him, please!" [Francine]

Ivor knew not what do to [Nym]

He splurched, "Doggone it, geez!" [Francine]

"I ought to kill you right now, Pegleg [Nym]

"But wife and horny exes [Francine]

"Would surely seek revenge [Nym]

"The situation vexes [Francine]

He knew there was but one solution [Nym]

His own life he must end [Jay Michaelson]

Even if it kills him [asdf]

what mindless retribution... [Anon.]

Contributors: snoodmeister, Anon., Francine, Nym, Jay Michaelson, asdf.
Poem finished: 21st July 2003.