The Spoonbill Generator

Armageddon Horses D'Oeuvres Changes Course

Plague and Pestilence sat down by the fire [mcb]

and sated, began a debate [Dael]

"If consumption is sexy, then who might desire [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

a change in meter rates?" [Paddy Raghunathan]

Their horses, still weary, and still in a lather [Kansas Sam]

they nevertheless whipped them on [veracity]

The horses, too tired for fire and blather, [Kansas Sam]

Did naught but neigh and yawn [Edgar]

Famine said, "Hey, am I late to the feast?" [Hagfish]

Then Death walked on in, through the door [Anon.]

"We already ate but there's salad at least." [Hagfish]

And poor Death then collapsed on the floor [mcb]

Plague wondered, "What will I be without Death?" [Kansas Sam]

"And that robe of his--think it might fit?" [Hagfish]

He tightened his girdle till gasping for breath [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

But the plague of his girth made it split [Kansas Sam]

Pestilence thought, "Am I looking too hale?" [Hagfish]

"A promotion to Death might be nice" [mcb]

So he strode through the blaze to acquire Death's veil [Kansas Sam]

But War blocked his way and said, "Sorry. No dice." [Edgar]

The fuzzy pink dice that once hung on Death's horse [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

But now he'd been riding a Harly [d]

"Why are we plagued with meter changing course?" [Paddy Raghunathan]

For few appreciate your ability to parley! [scientist]

The fuzzy pink dice that once hung on Death's horse [Kansas Sam (from KAM)]

Now flew to perch on Pestilence's brow... [Anon.]

The dice lent him force to knock War from his course [Kansas Sam]

Hot and heavy they hit him--and how! [Hagfish]

The blow did him in! (May poor War wrest in Peace) [Kansas Sam]

Peace caught him. (She looked like Mae West.) [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

Her Yin gave his Yang a much-needed release [Kansas Sam]

"It was nice to get that off your chest!" [Hagfish]

Pestilence, pale (which for him was high hale), [Kansas Sam]

Fixed Peace with a profligate leer [Edgar]

While unseen by Peace, Famine stuck out a nail [Hagfish]

Which poked Peace's fine piece of rear [Kansas Sam]

Then Plenty (Her sister) came shaking Her booty [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

But Pestilence, wearing Death's veil, [Kansas Sam]

Could not see her ample and shaking patute [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

Which bumped him, thus ending her "tail" [Kansas Sam]

It all was a hustle! She wore a false bustle! [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

Malthus knew!--End of Plenty was near [Kansas Sam]

Then Famine--and Mammon--grabbed her in a tussel [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

(Orgypocalypse comes once a year.) [Hagfish]

But Plenty came plenty and took on all comers [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

but those that missed her Piece got hummers [Robert Swagman]

Contributors: mcb, Dael, Kevin Andrew Murphy, Paddy Raghunathan, Kansas Sam, veracity, Edgar, Hagfish, Anon., d, scientist, Kansas Sam (from KAM), Robert Swagman.
Poem finished: 1st July 2003.