Armageddon Horses D'Oeuvres Changes Course
Plague and Pestilence sat down by the fire
and sated, began a debate
"If consumption is sexy, then who might desire
a change in meter rates?"
Their horses, still weary, and still in a lather
they nevertheless whipped them on
The horses, too tired for fire and blather,
Did naught but neigh and yawn
Famine said, "Hey, am I late to the feast?"
Then Death walked on in, through the door
"We already ate but there's salad at least."
And poor Death then collapsed on the floor
Plague wondered, "What will I be without Death?"
"And that robe of his--think it might fit?"
He tightened his girdle till gasping for breath
But the plague of his girth made it split
Pestilence thought, "Am I looking too hale?"
"A promotion to Death might be nice"
So he strode through the blaze to acquire Death's veil
But War blocked his way and said, "Sorry. No dice."
The fuzzy pink dice that once hung on Death's horse
But now he'd been riding a Harly
"Why are we plagued with meter changing course?"
For few appreciate your ability to parley!
The fuzzy pink dice that once hung on Death's horse
Now flew to perch on Pestilence's brow...
The dice lent him force to knock War from his course
Hot and heavy they hit him--and how!
The blow did him in! (May poor War wrest in Peace)
Peace caught him. (She looked like Mae West.)
Her Yin gave his Yang a much-needed release
"It was nice to get that off your chest!"
Pestilence, pale (which for him was high hale),
Fixed Peace with a profligate leer
While unseen by Peace, Famine stuck out a nail
Which poked Peace's fine piece of rear
Then Plenty (Her sister) came shaking Her booty
But Pestilence, wearing Death's veil,
Could not see her ample and shaking patute
Which bumped him, thus ending her "tail"
It all was a hustle! She wore a false bustle!
Malthus knew!--End of Plenty was near
Then Famine--and Mammon--grabbed her in a tussel
(Orgypocalypse comes once a year.)
But Plenty came plenty and took on all comers
but those that missed her Piece got hummers
Contributors: | mcb, Dael, Kevin Andrew Murphy, Paddy Raghunathan, Kansas Sam, veracity, Edgar, Hagfish, Anon., d, scientist, Kansas Sam (from KAM), Robert Swagman. |
Poem finished: | 1st July 2003. |