The Spoonbill Generator

If Cocoa Couldn't (Allegory)

"Chocolate! Give me chocolate!", the woman screamed [sharon]

But the menu only offered "broccoli, steamed" [Edgar]

"It's feel-good substances I require" [mcb]

Yet naught on the menu fulfilled her desire [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

She stamped her big foot, she got up on the table [K.B. Benedict]

And began to relate a pertinent fable: [Anon.]

Long, long ago, in the land of the Inca [Sharon ]

In a little mountain town, in the Andean Sierra [Anon.]

was a man who sat on his step sipping Sanka [sharon]

And humming a ditty by the great Paul Anka [Anon.]

A wonderous tree grew three magical beans [Kansas Sam]

And being a woman of quite modest means [VM]

She quietly stuck those beans in her pocket [Edgar]

(For the man, if he saw, was most likely to mock it) [Anon.]

He distrusted all magic and hated caffeine [SharonP]

His poor wife suffered awfully, waxed deathly lean [Anon.]

And with those three beans, she intended to sow [D]

A black crop of revenge (delicious also) [Anon.]

The first bean was bad: it grew a shoe store [Kansas Sam]

Callous husband merely muttered, "Never saw that before" [Anon.]

The second was planted, and started to sprout [Anon.]

It grew three kinds of beer: ale, porter, and stout. [D]

The third bean was lost in the brawl that ensued [Kansas Sam]

When all of the townsfolk got thoroughly stewed [Edgar]

Which brings me at last to the crux of this tale - [Anon.]

gimme some damn chocolate - you better not fail. [sharon]

As the woman concluded the restaurant fell silent [Anon.]

The waiter said, "Look, don't make me get violent" [Edgar]

She burst out with weeping, she didn't now why [sharon]

"You can't understand, for you're just a guy!" [Anon.]

"This craving I have- it's almost unearthly" [mcb]

"Yet try as I might, I can't get ungirthly" [Kansas Sam]

I am a chocoholic! Oh alas! Welaway! [Kevin Andrew Murphy]

Then, on the third bean, there suddenly fell a ray [Kansas Sam]

The tale, it seemed, was not fable but more or less fact [Anon.]

"Death by chocolate! I crave it! Alas and alack!" [K.B. Benedict]

The words barely spoken when a river of fudge [mcb]

Headed toward her--but she wouldn't budge! [Kansas Sam]

"at last!" she cried gladly, her heart palpitating [mcb]

Her mouth watered quarts, and her hips were inflating [Kansas Sam]

The fudge, it oozed closer, our heroine; smirking [mcb]

But in the back of her mind, her diet was lurking. [Anon.]

And that's how it was that our dieter died [sharon]

In the end she was flattened, three or four metres wide [mcb]

A sinister pancake in caramel sauce [Grayman]

And did she deserve it? You betcha. Ocourse. [mcb]

The End [Anon.]

- [Anon.]

Contributors: sharon, Edgar, mcb, Kevin Andrew Murphy, K.B. Benedict, Anon., Sharon, Kansas Sam, VM, SharonP, D, Grayman.
Poem finished: 20th June 2003.