The Spoonbill Generator

The Doctrine of Giggling

I've long held a theory that Seuss ain't no doc [Kansas Sam]

A hypothoseeees that sure ain't no crock [keith c]

"Hatless" (my cat) disses "Green Eggs and Ham" [Kansas Sam I Am]

He does not read it in his pram [Beefy]

He does not read it to a yam [fatty]

He does not read it in his box [Kansas Sam]

Or to a famous cat called "Socks" [fatty]

He does not like "Green Eggs and Ham" [Kansas Sam]

He does not like them, Kansas Sam [fatty]

He much prefers fat hens and cocks [keith c]

And men in lipstick and nice frocks [fatty]

And Seuss's poor math: "One fish two" adds to three [Kansas Sam]

A therorum thats sure to let radicals go free [keith c]

Hatless, poor Hatless, confused by each fish [Kansas Sam]

confound it, confound it, a new titfer his wish [keith c]

The rule of eight beckons; the abacus gleams [Beefy]

Tis right, tis right his addition it seems [keith c]

Red fish and blue fish return to the sea [Beefy]

A place where no Seussical fish ought to be [Kansas Sam]

A place where young Waldo is not to be found [Beefy]

A place where that Horton will not hear a sound [Kansas Sam]

A place where both Tweedles, the dee and the dum [Beefy]

Though the looking glass mirrors the total plus some [keith c]

And Horton: who's he to be hearing Herr Who? [Kansas Sam]

And don't get me started on Mr Magoo! [Beefy]

Unless you propose that he squish a small voice [Kansas Sam]

With a penalty from Beckham, We did rejoice ! [DaddyCool]

And what's with those eggs, the green ones, I mean [Stacy Alexander]

They're a thousand years old, or so it would seem [keith c]

When placed in the path of a North-Going Zax [Grayman]

(While Bleeding Gums blows the accomp'nying sax) [Beefy]

The rest of the band and the chorus sing out [keith c]

"Well, shake it up baby, now, twist and shout" [Kansas Sam]

With Tom on the trombone and Chico on harp [Beefy]

And funny old Victor playing major f sharp [keith c]

Yet Seuss and my cat can agree on one thing [Kansas Sam]

(Call it 'thing one' please, it has the right ring) [Grayman]

'Thing one' it is, with foots two, three, and four [Kansas Sam]

(Or four, three and two on the othermost paw) [Beefy]

"The Foot Book" he reads, pawing pages all night [Kansas Sam]

But this book was of bears coined by former pres Dwight [keith c]

Ike's bears have clown feet, as in the Seuss tome [Kansas Sam]

But do not claim Darkest Peru as their home [Beefy]

Instead, their huge feet stride on Mulberry Street [Kansas Sam]

Causing cracks which imperil young Christopher's feet [Beefy]

As Chris crosses the cracks, the lad hops atop Pop [Kansas Sam]

(A book that he bought from the Hop on Pop shop) [Grayman]

Contributors: Kansas Sam, keith c, Kansas Sam I Am, Beefy, fatty, DaddyCool, Stacy Alexander, Grayman.
Poem finished: 30th April 2003.