A Contest for Castle Custard
The goat came down from the hill-tops
Gritting his yellowish teeth
In imitation of a snake
It didn't fool MacHeath
"Fell goat!" he cried, "I see through you!"
Despite your snakish smile
MacHeath was on to something
But the goat was fullof guile
Indeed, it had mastered hypnosis
With a certain savoir fare
And soon convinced MacHeath that
His teeth were in his hair
Shouting "I bite my scalp at you!"
HIs molars rose to fight,
But found themselves imprisoned
His curlers were too tight
MacHeath was in a quandry
(He simply could not spell)
He grabbed a handy Websters
His feet began to swell.
He should have found the OED
(Which has less side-effects)
And looked up then 'verbatim'
Or 'Oedipus complex'
Instead he ate a lemon
(He couldn't chew it, though)
And, swallowing entirely
It got stuck in his throat...
The Heimlich, not an option, Oh!
MacHeath, he choked and died
There upon the gorse-strewn heath
As the goat stood by and cried.
So let this be a lesson
To the wastrels of our town
A goat cannot be trusted
And neither can a clown.
Contributors: | fester, Stacy Alexander, Apsley, Beefy, Grayman, P, Barrymore's Ghost, dkb. |
Poem finished: | 6th November 2002. |