The Spoonbill Generator

Beside the Derelict Hat-stand

When Granny comes for tea and cake [fester]

I find instead a piece of hake [Apsley]

And smear it on the old settee [Roland]

(She likes the smell of fish, you see) [fester]

Yet when she sidles up the stairs [Roland]

I always catch her unawares [Beefy]

And, with my brand-new blunderbus [Roland]

Shoot a hole in the stairs under us [fester]

And, in the cupboard thus revealed, [Apsley]

One hundred herrings lie, concealed [loaf]

Which Granny sniffs with whoops of joy [fester]

As if to play with some new toy [Apsley]

She gathers up her treasure trove [Beefy]

And takes it home to quaint old Hove, [Apsley]

Where she lives in a fishing boat [fester]

With fourteen monkeys and a goat [loaf]

And so she lives upon my fish, [Apsley]

As blissfully as you could wish [fester]

The only thing that she regrets [Beefy]

Is eating all her other pets [fester]

So be informed, by poets many, [Apsley]

'Spend a pound and waste a penny' [loaf]

Is not a motto for a fish, [Apsley]

'Don't play with sharks,' however, is. [fester]

Contributors: fester, Apsley, Roland, Beefy, loaf.
Poem finished: 18th July 2002.