Beside the Derelict Hat-stand
When Granny comes for tea and cake
I find instead a piece of hake
And smear it on the old settee
(She likes the smell of fish, you see)
Yet when she sidles up the stairs
I always catch her unawares
And, with my brand-new blunderbus
Shoot a hole in the stairs under us
And, in the cupboard thus revealed,
One hundred herrings lie, concealed
Which Granny sniffs with whoops of joy
As if to play with some new toy
She gathers up her treasure trove
And takes it home to quaint old Hove,
Where she lives in a fishing boat
With fourteen monkeys and a goat
And so she lives upon my fish,
As blissfully as you could wish
The only thing that she regrets
Is eating all her other pets
So be informed, by poets many,
'Spend a pound and waste a penny'
Is not a motto for a fish,
'Don't play with sharks,' however, is.
Contributors: | fester, Apsley, Roland, Beefy, loaf. |
Poem finished: | 18th July 2002. |