The Spoonbill Generator

Testimonial for Pier Café Raiders

Long, long ago, in old Tashkent [fester]

Before my energies were spent [Roland]

I turned all vague, and violent [Apsley]

My gestures, like forgotten code [loaf]

That emanated from a toad, [Apsley]

Left me tongue-down in the road [churd]

Behind my back the natives wept [loaf]

Some, desperate, untimly leapt [P]

Into the path that panthers crept [Apsley]

Some cried, some prayed, some ran amok [Beefy]

Some took to wearing my old smock, [Apsley]

Whilst others shared a single sock [fester]

But what of them, unruly mob! [Apsley]

They smote their breasts! They cried! They sobbed! [fester]

They played the tuba to Old Rob... [Apsley]

Old Rob, distinctly unimpressed [Beefy]

Sat down and sagely was undressed [Apsley]

his robes were washed and dried and pressed [dan]

I, meanwhile, did smoke a pipe, [Apsley]

Until Old Rob began to gripe, [fester]

The kind of sound that is not ripe [Apsley]

"I hate it here in old Tashkent [fester]

Where all my life so far was spent!" [Apsley]

Said Rob, becoming violent [fester]

Was Old Rob I or were both mad? [Apsley]

Old Rob attacked me with a knife [fester]

In search of snuffing out my life [Apsley]

But then asked me to be his wife [fester]

Was Old Rob mad or should I wed? [Apsley]

In truth, I'd rather far be dead... [fester]

My coarse rejection turned his mind - [Apsley]

He lunged again with fury blind [fester]

And speared the book that Hoban signed [Apsley]

Now Russell Hoban's signature [fester]

Is widely forged, throughout the Ruhr [Roland]

By rule of primogeniture, [Apsley]

And (if I were a Theban Prince ... [loaf]

With baggy clothes and a blue rinse) [Apsley]

I'd not vouchsafe you further hints [Roland]

So go your ways, and give me peace, [Apsley]

And please try not to wake the geese [Grayman]

Who stayed beyond their term of lease [Apsley]

For now I want to go to sleep [fester]

And dream of beauteous Bo-Peep [Apsley]

And plummet down her Lovers' Leap [loaf]

Where I may find my heart's desire [fester]

Or else a burning funeral-pyre [Apsley]

Extinguished by some heavenly choir [Roland]

Contributors: fester, Roland, Apsley, loaf, churd, P, Beefy, dan, Grayman.
Poem finished: 11th June 2002.