The Spoonbill Generator

The Dockland Proxy

The caramel wafer was tempting and thin: [Apsley]

thin and tempting our lady's last sin [Modeus]

When she stapled a goldfish to her old man [Apsley]

because he was a Cliff Richard fan [fester]

Sir Cliff, you see, was his best mate - [Apsley]

They often went out on a date [fester]

Or, sometimes, even on a prune, [Apsley]

By the light of the silv'ry moon [fester]

For dried-up fruit was just their taste [Apsley]

(No wrinkled plums would either waste) [fester]

And round their palates they would run [Apsley]

The currants from a stale old bun [fester]

The whole washed down with rancid beer [Beefy]

Is apt to taste a little queer [fester]

But that's the kind of dish they like [Apsley]

Before they go off on a hike [fester]

The goldfish, you'll be pleased to find, [Beefy]

Liked nibbling on bacon-rind, [Apsley]

And never minded hearing Cliff [TG]

Grunt as he rolled himself a spliff [fester]

The pleasant smell of Mary-Jane [Beefy]

Soon wafted off along the lane [fester]

and there upon the children sang [melody]

"Policeman, please arrest this man!" [fester]

And there was I, a rookie cop and only twenty-one, [Lucas]

had a hat upon my head, my pocket held a gun [melody]

And here they want me to take down the Grand Old Man of pop [Beefy]

For beckoning a harlot and calling her a sop [Apsley]

The clang of the cell door restored his good sense [Beefy]

Until he discovered his cell-mate was French [fester]

And covered in blisters and garlic and boils [Apsley]

(The kind of things from which Sir Cliff just recoils) [fester]

He wished his friend had ditched the fish [Beefy]

splish splash splish splash splish splash splish!!!!! [Craig Judkins]

But back to his cell-mate, the garlic-bread king [dan]

Who several nice ballads was starting to sing: [Apsley]

The words of his songs spoke directly to Cliff [dan]

That is, I may say, till he started to whiff [Apsley]

at the wafting aroma that started swirl [dan]

and as soon as it started the dancing ended without a knowing of why [Brittany]

Contributors: Apsley, Modeus, fester, Beefy, TG, melody, Lucas, Craig Judkins, dan, Brittany.
Poem finished: 5th March 2002.