Slander Me!
I'm the child of a Red Road skyscraper.
I'm the headache you'd rather forget.
I spit in your eye, I drip down your thigh
But deep down I'm rather a pet.
I never treat anythihng lightly
Not spelling -- or pancakes -- or rum
I blow in our ear, and when you're not near
What was smart somehow seems dumb.
I am studious and tasteful and read much
But never retain what I read
My brain-slug, I fear, has run out of my ear
An' left a big hole in ma heid!
I juggle and smuggle - and, dearie,
Don't leave your old smokes in my jeep!
They remind me too much of my night with Old Dutch
That venomous portly old creep...
If you've got a mind to seduce me
To reduce me and turn me to you
Just anoint all my surface with beetroot
The juice that makes purple reign.
Then turn me to face Nelson's column
With a parsnip and snark on my back
Beat me with fresh radishes
And give my gluteus a smack
My passion is for things of fiction
An avoidance of fact it's true
join the old el paso party
And be stuck up together with glue
Then let's dance the conga together
And cleave to each other once more
The thrill of the dance means I might take a chance
And ride to the moon on a boar
So farewell to the Red Road skyscraper
In Legoland I'll live no more
And so while I grovel down here in my hovel
Let's sail for Ur's comforting shore
Contributors: | MRQ, Apsley, Sarka, Beefy, Roland, Cliff, TG, Looby, Yoxi, Anon., HOG, Anna, fred, Aa. |
Poem finished: | 11th September 2000. |