The Spoonbill Generator


The main thing to remember about hunting with a fish [TG]

Is why they don't like suncream on their fins [KT]

Their only fervent wish is to not be put in tins [TG]

For they much prefer cucumber on a dish [KT]

Whenever it is sliced in a fashion quite sublime [The Agent Apsley]

And served with three (precisely) drops of lime [TG]

(and wine, it's necessary, remember of wine) [KR]

This poem has a funny sense of time [KT]

but breaks (I grant you) no tight spatial fetters [E Greejius]

Though some rotten swine has shuffled the letters [TG]

And replaced them in some arbitrary order [Grayman]

That threatens to impinge upon the border [KT]

'Twixt madness and the lesser state [The Agent Apsley]

Where reason goes for quiet escape [TG]

From the rantings of the grape; [The Agent Apsley]

From the pantings in the grate [TG]

To the stock of the vile hoarder [The Agent Apsley]

Who likes to keep his eyes above the water [TG]

Will soon believe himself some six feet shorter [The Agent Apsley]

Than any stable person oughter [TG]

Who ensnares the dormant sleeper [The Agent Apsley]

Will himself be hard to wake [TG]

By his handcuffed park-keeper [The Agent Apsley]

Mumbling as he leans upon his rake [Elizabeth]

The main thing to remember about sailing on the Moon [TG]

Is not to give way to the lure of the dune [The Agent Apsley]

While sailing Tranquillity's shore [TG]

Where trod the ghostly Minotaur [Elizabeth]

No! You must keep your eyes fix on the spitoon [Elizabeth]

And serve with a not quite serrated spoon [TG]

Stolen from some hockey tour [The Agent Apsley]

The stubble of some ancient field of yore [Elizabeth]

Bereft of meaning for us lesser cruds [The Agent Apsley]

Bereft of cleaning for the wetter suds [TG]

Akin to those that feed the lawn [The Agent Apsley]

While stifling a well-bred yawn [TG]

That wrings the nettle from its buds [The Agent Apsley]

And still goes on and on and on. [Elizabeth]

This ballad is a woeful tale [The Agent Apsley]

Let's end it, and new dreams assail! [TG]

Contributors: TG, KT, The Agent Apsley, KR, E Greejius, Grayman, Elizabeth.
Poem finished: 18th November 1999.