Fermenting the Woman from the Surgery
Achilles stole my hobby-horse
I knew he was a heel
I punched him once upon the jaw
He kicked me down onto the floor
I loathed this violence, of course
But Theseus was close at hand
Back from a minor tour
I smacked him twice about the nape
He gave my hand a nasty scrape
(This hurt us both, you understand)
Then Paris came upon the scene
With ardour on his mind;
I drove a skewer through his spleen
(Which was a touch unkind)
I wish we could remain serene
Fair Helen then did wander by
Casually launching ships
I squirted acid in her eye
And glowered at her ample hips.
(This conduct almost made me cry)
Then Menelaus swore an oath
In many-layered scorn
I kicked him hard behind the knee
He turned and did the same to me
Then Telemachus did us both
And thus the Ancient World corrodes
Thersites' boil and eek his cloak
I lanced him with a sudden jab
That catapulted him to Rhodes
Where yo may view his burial-slab
Contributors: | Roland, KT, The Agent Apsley, Elizabeth, Grayman, TG. |
Poem finished: | 12th November 1999. |