Beneath the Dismembering Sky
When Ethelred beheld the axolotl
She went quite mad, and hit the bottle
Ironically, she now drinks like a fish
And curses like an aunt of Aristotle
Whose doctor once remarked, "I'll tell you what'll
Make your accent much more glottal
And send my invoice to the fish!"
Then Hubert, who adored his only daughter,
Explained the etiquette of passing water
Ironically, she now passes like Ayrton Senna
When heading for the pit of slaughter:
The milkmaid said that she'd once caught her
She'd make her drink three pints of porter
And dye her silken hair with henna
Then Cedric swore he'd flog the thieving lackey
And charge him for the brandy and the 'baccy
That had been taken from the Royal Mail
That, three star fish and a pail
Which all adds up to something tacky -
He cursed him like a mad Iraqi
(Saddam Hussein -- so grievously un-wacky ! )
So Tarquin called a truce and passed the whisky
A strategy he knew was somewhat risky
Ironically, he didn't have the bottle
His mother drank too much and went all frisky
About the time that, at the throttle,
A pig was being pestered by a pisky
Little no one, hailing but from Shottle
| Contributors: | Katie, Rob, Grayman, P, The Agent Apsley, KT, TG, Anon., E Greejius, Roland. |
| Poem finished: | 23rd October 1999. |