The Spoonbill Generator

It never happened really except once maybe yesterday

The night was dark, and dire foreboding crackled in the air [TG]

As Hercules and Hereward stood freezing at the bar; [The Agent Apsley]

Haywood was outside, warming up the car [nomi]

And putting little ribbons in his slimy hair. [The Agent Apsley]

Haywood brought the car 'round front and leaned into the horn [best boy]

As if the front of his whole head had instantly been born; [The Agent Apsley]

And now confounding every moral fiber of his pod [best boy]

He walked into an albatross and asked if it were God. [The Agent Apsley]

"Haywood" said the Albatross "Your in bad trouble" [nomi]

And indeed he truly was, knee-deep in molten rubble; [The Agent Apsley]

Hereward shows up, says "Lets blow this place!" [nomi]

While fingering the cracks in his orange carapace. [Elizabeth]

To Hereward said Hercules, 'I think that you're a pard!' [The Agent Apsley]

Then Haywood shows up covered in lard! [nomi]

"To horse!" they cry, too hoarse for men to hear [TG]

...They ride off, looking for Hellspont and Hecuba [nomi]

And so at last the poet's skill does finally depart [The Agent Apsley]

Another simple verse, another chili-dog fart [best boy]

To those who long for simple rhymes, the message now is clear [TG]

You won't find them here! [nomi]

And so, dear reader, don't despair [The Agent Apsley]

Hercules and Hereward, They don't care! [nomi]

And as for hoary Hellespont [The Agent Apsley]

He just needs a change of font! [P]

Contributors: TG, The Agent Apsley, nomi, best boy, Elizabeth, P.
Poem finished: 2nd March 1999.