Squeamish, Mother?
Toothpaste is a substance that I readily ingest
And I smear it with delight upon my newly laundered vest
I daub it with a fury on the old four-poster bed
Until I am quite sick of it and clean it up instead
Hair gel goes quite nicely with a steak and caesar salad.
Coleslaw on the cranium's the burden of my ballad
And hairs are often welcome in a piping bowl of soup
But not without some axel grease, that runny, smelly goop!
Anchovies and aardvarks are a winning comination
but really quite misleading, when deciding your life's station.
Mixing up a herring with a piece of tangled cheese
Waiter, This is mangled!... Please!
Contributors: | The Agent Apsley, P, Roland, best boy, Anon., Stacy, nomi. |
Poem finished: | 13th February 1999. |