The Spoonbill Generator

How Met By Legion

You call yourself a Yeti?

A Yeti wouldn't dream

Of steaming pyres, of Bernard looks

Or bags of Oxford cream

How could you call yourself a sasquatch?

A sasquatch wouldn't beleive.

But those with balls along their backs

Are frequently called Steve.

You're never a Venusian

A Venusian wouldn't expect

To settle bills with rubber cheques

or taunt in romantic dialects.

You're not a Bigfoot either!

You feet look rather small,

Despite your monstrous footprints

There's just no evidence at all

You might just be a leprachaun

Or just as likely not

a phoenix or an uniquorn

or of the elfin lot.

Your snorkel and your sari

Your earring and your thumb

You're Dr Caligari!

With a brand new Ludwig drum.

Contributors: Roland, TG, KD, RM, Peri, P, Stacy.
Poem finished: 31st May 1997.