A man with a prong on his nose

The Spoonbill Generator

The Spoonbill Generator Archive

A Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007

Poems by Year: 1996 - 1997 - 1998 - 1999 - 2000 - 2001 - 2002 - 2003 - 2004 - 2005 - 2006 - 2007

*** Hall of Fame  — Alphabetical List of Titles  — Index of First Lines  — Poems by Colour

Poems completed in 2003


First line

Poems open in a new window

2003 Jan 2Alexandrian Wish WarriorUpon a star I wished one day
2003 Jan 3My Liverpool LamentPercival the scouse louse
2003 Jan 4Xenophobic PoppingBisexual biplanes bifurcating
2003 Jan 8Gloves of Careful NutmegLike rising, having slept for years,
2003 Jan 8Please Not Sideways, ArabellaDreary as a paper towel
2003 Jan 9Unknown Railway Station BluesPimrod was a snappy lad,
2003 Jan 9I'll Surely Trample Your Tractor, My LoveI had a little tractor
2003 Jan 9In LemonsWhy, tell me why, is the future so green?
2003 Jan 9Jolly Thirsty PiratesFifteen men on the Dead Man's Chest
2003 Jan 9Regurgitate AfreshI ring alarms with my Nan
2003 Jan 10With Alewife Entwined'My suspenders came from France...', the naughty minx confessed,
2003 Jan 10Squeeze the Glands Beyond Table MannersThere's nothing so original
2003 Jan 12Commentary Arising From My Previous UncialsAnother riposte
2003 Jan 17Rumour PillsLicensed to kill, my dear
2003 Jan 22What Are Flemish Trousers?Astride the edge of any knife
2003 Jan 23Ferocious NightgownsIn dread of the foe
2003 Jan 23Fauré, Mendacious In Cairo,Less than catarrh
2003 Jan 24Orfeo The IneluctableAs lame as a fish
2003 Jan 25Beyond Bursting-PointI walk a mile each day before my tea
2003 Jan 27Samantha's Sinister Hockey TourMy hermitage, lodged safely on the crag
2003 Jan 27Person or Thing UnknownThe first time I went to Iraq
2003 Jan 28Groovy Chicks Abound HereinBig stuff is going down, dude
2003 Jan 29Autocratic PenitentSailing down the seventh stream
2003 Jan 29Remembrance of Things PasteurisedThe year was but a few weeks old
2003 Jan 30Zen RootsBalanced calm across the bay
2003 Jan 30Peace Comes DrivellingWe were a million strong and growing

2003 Feb 5Sheepish AmbitionIf the thought of hope is not enough
2003 Feb 5Herring Orphans of All TotnesHow horrid is the elephant
2003 Feb 7Control of Our Feet in DarknessMoonlight softened the angry lines
2003 Feb 7Longings Unknown to ScienceWhy should I ration
2003 Feb 11Overtures MisunderstoodWhy are men so damn complex?
2003 Feb 20Acrimony for Unknown PontiffsDoctrine of the spiral stair
2003 Feb 20First DowntimeEmollient, conciliatory, I ventured
2003 Feb 20Immediately NobodyThe cobbler, blind for seven years

2003 Mar 7Dead, Undone, UnmeasuredNaked, dripping, loins all soap and tension, I rise from the bath
2003 Mar 9Pestilent Ploughshares, Deficient TurnipsThese latter-day halfwits, invading the turf
2003 Mar 11Mountainous PiquesWhat God did on the seventh day
2003 Mar 18A Relativity Prayer Shawl Thrown AsideI quaffed nine cups of joe this morn
2003 Mar 18Hidden By Hygiene FairiesIf only these kids knew what I
2003 Mar 19Fun in the Unnerving Moonlight (Rembrandt's Schooldays)I've always been taught to report what I thought
2003 Mar 20Broken SmARTISTSIt be not hard to speaketh like the Bard
2003 Mar 28Tendentious ReassurancesAnother thousand syllables

2003 Apr 1Woeful EnigmaMy notion of 'A Life of Woe'
2003 Apr 9When Did Gingersnaps Vanish From Human Knowledge?I took a penguin on the tram
2003 Apr 17Carefulness Begets SincerityA poem's frail corpse is like a tree
2003 Apr 18Accidents to Unwary PlaymatesIn the timeless forests of the north
2003 Apr 22Unsaid, UnsaidThe red poem remains unread
2003 Apr 30The Doctrine of GigglingI've long held a theory that Seuss ain't no doc
2003 Apr 30Cross-talk KnaveryBy way of insulation

2003 May 1LootersAlas! The Golden Treasury has been looted
2003 May 3Fruitful Duck SoupMy goldfish likes to do the monkey bars
2003 May 10Pugna PorcorumI put lobsters in her sock drawer
2003 May 10Industrial-Strength Wrigley'sMy Spiderman was killed by Zach
2003 May 12Our Sword Unsheathed by MetaphorsRabid was the postman
2003 May 15Succulent RetchingComplacent as the Minotaur
2003 May 16Those Who Can't DefySo many works, untitled and unsung
2003 May 17Management Facilitates, Managers CollideComplacent as a senator
2003 May 18Laughing Down by the MaelstromBehind the nipple's cruel intent
2003 May 30Hilariously PregnantI guffaw but twice per night,
2003 May 31Inaudible When Down-windI promise, tomorrow I'll be a good boy

2003 Jun 5Spin-doctors ConfusedThere's too little gristle and not enough fat
2003 Jun 5Creases Rectified by ArtSteeped in the grime of ages
2003 Jun 16Swinging the TarzanThey trained me, from mine early years
2003 Jun 16PerhapsAnd I thought it might be morning
2003 Jun 16Bespoke Chutney for BigglesSmooth eucalyptus, resinous aura
2003 Jun 16Tiny ProblemsLike hoarfrost on the juniper
2003 Jun 16Necessary foreign horrorsI trimmed that lean bazooka
2003 Jun 17Trout Pox Toast FarmingNow is the moment! Grasp the nettle!
2003 Jun 17Afterglow/PuzzleThe pallid young apprentice
2003 Jun 17Another DarwinAn airworthy albatross alights atop an arch
2003 Jun 17Caramelised Jamboree BagsBedevilled by mosquitoes
2003 Jun 18Turned on by GhostwritersA flock of hungry magpies came
2003 Jun 18This Goaded PostureYou write sixteen lines, and what do you get?
2003 Jun 18Pickle My CreationWelcome, fine folks, but please be more attentive!
2003 Jun 19Uneven RecipeA rushing tide, a rushing tide
2003 Jun 19The Ocelot TiradeRespectable he's surely not
2003 Jun 20For an Unknown FrogThe semi thrummed o'er seams in the open road
2003 Jun 20If Cocoa Couldn't (Allegory)"Chocolate! Give me chocolate!", the woman screamed
2003 Jun 21My Habitat of Unkempt MincemeatCoconuts are hard to peel
***2003 Jun 21Theory of Everything on TapLucinda' big sister chowed down on plutonium
2003 Jun 21Test Our Mutual Felicity with UnguentsHis brain slightly mangled from mid-term exams
2003 Jun 21Awakening the Aluminum JetsamA paper, a line, a bubble, a tin
2003 Jun 21Tinkle Tempest SoldierThe archive of memory refused to stir
2003 Jun 21In Time (Full Icebox)Without you
2003 Jun 22Pig Lint HitMy blog is narcissistic, though its readers, voyeuristic,
2003 Jun 22Nile Feather Death TripHer upper arms; mine eyes alighting
2003 Jun 22Telling Tales of Mother's BullseyeYou shouldn't keep an apple
2003 Jun 22Always One VaneFoul, foul, foul, this weather's spent
2003 Jun 23Abandon Malfeasance, My Cobweb DoctorYou wouldn't want a cobweb
2003 Jun 23If You Could FalterThe glamour of a teaspoon
2003 Jun 23Secret Habitude with MenShe frolicks gaily, like a goat
2003 Jun 23Considering Its WoodpigeonsDial 'Clockwork' for disturbance
2003 Jun 23The MistakeI heard him curse, I heard him groan
2003 Jun 23Rock HusksVowels with a vengeance invigorate vows
2003 Jun 24A Vagabond Lacking Cunning"Better", I told him, "you had left your seed unsown"
2003 Jun 24Reveal the Masonic PrudesI heard him curse, I heard him groan
2003 Jun 24The Pastry CupsHow noble is the nobleman
2003 Jun 24Iambic Portrait of MontalbanRicardo's toupee hasn't aged but a day
2003 Jun 24Perwinkle Trout WrackHis boots were made of manta ray,
2003 Jun 24Glow ExperimentalMadame Curie created quite a glow
2003 Jun 24Car with Contrast FetishWhen young and old, the old and new
2003 Jun 24Playland SmackRaggedy-Ann has a heroin habit
2003 Jun 26A Reasonable Religion for Village GreensSilver and brown were the eaves of the town
2003 Jun 26Epic Gorgonzola QuestIn China, once, an Emperor
2003 Jun 27Each Recusrive ReaderOn a moonful night, strangely bright
2003 Jun 27Oddments of the BlondeThe gypsy's skirts swirled like the leaves in the fall
2003 Jun 27Knight of the Noxious LieIf only I could sing like William Shatner
2003 Jun 28ImperfectionOh, to be Home now summer is here....
2003 Jun 30Erie CanalThe creek oozes down through the dimwitted wood
2003 Jun 30Now Repercussions Don't HibernateYou asked for a list of excuses,

2003 Jul 1Armageddon Horses D'Oeuvres Changes CoursePlague and Pestilence sat down by the fire
2003 Jul 1CitiesIn Seville, bitter oranges grow ripe in the sun
2003 Jul 8Time and Four Fantastic SpoonsThe Raiders of Gor had slavegirls galore and kept them all in chains
2003 Jul 9Chronic Sparrows of PathologyAnthrax! Anthrax! cried Frau Schmetterling
2003 Jul 9Scapegoat RanchersWhy isn't tomorrow
2003 Jul 10Ketchup AlchemyA red hen, convinced that her eggs were sublime,
2003 Jul 11Accessible Under HegemonyTo thy nobility am I obliged
2003 Jul 17Mosquitos Hatched by HomeworkBill bought broken bric-a-brac
2003 Jul 17Lay for a Lonely FarmerShe was lovely as the night
2003 Jul 17Ode to the TelevangelistsThey
2003 Jul 17Fractured Hearts Have Missed Innumerable ChancesHow graven seem those fractured tarts
2003 Jul 17Contrary MutantSo here begins a brand new tale
2003 Jul 17Like the Inner Feathers of EarthHow frothy do these suds appear
2003 Jul 17How Often Tattooed?How seldom do I see a frump
2003 Jul 17Mukluks SometimesMy own dear love does seldom fart
2003 Jul 17Gentrification is a GiggleWhene'er I see a falling star
2003 Jul 17If Only People Smelled Like FlowersI often wonder how to start
2003 Jul 17Time and Chance Combine in a Shocking Display of CrudityA masterpiece will now unfold
2003 Jul 17Thoreau ToejamDo mugwumps ever feel the ache
2003 Jul 17To BirdsThe geese were flying high, the ducks
2003 Jul 17Cosmos TwirlsYour new line will go here
2003 Jul 17Persnickety GirlsI once saw a doctor in Dayton
2003 Jul 17Googlylying in a ditch of binjo
2003 Jul 17Nightlong BattlesOnce upon a time a whore
2003 Jul 17Whackerwocky'Twas zillig and the mangrove whips
2003 Jul 17PC #22Televised indignities, alas
2003 Jul 17DreamingI fear I cannot hope to match
2003 Jul 17Vogons In LoveSmudge me, I am yours
2003 Jul 17Whether the DweebsOne summer afternoon, the snow was all around
2003 Jul 17Enough IsHere, there and everywhere
2003 Jul 17TickAwake! for midnight at the witching hour
2003 Jul 17Hope Squeals 'Wahoo!"Dispel those neverending qualms
2003 Jul 17LongingOh, my God, it never ends
2003 Jul 17Odin UnderstandsI am seriously whacked
2003 Jul 17Merry GooglingOn the first day of Google, my search term was to be
2003 Jul 17SoupspoonThree smooth stones near water's edge, gray as everyday
2003 Jul 17MushroomGalumphing through the daisy field
2003 Jul 17Euthansia without GregariousnessHow often have I pruned a tree
2003 Jul 17FallenI've fallen and I can't get up
2003 Jul 17Gorgonzola PrevaricatesMy gorgonzola often swells
2003 Jul 17UnshornUbiquity is the folly of unshorn llamas
2003 Jul 17Of RubricsPersnickety wickets, aha!
2003 Jul 17IcemanNo man is an igloo
2003 Jul 18Alas My...If not for that one "mistake"
2003 Jul 18The Ageless Golden FleeceMy buddy, Moe, is getting old
2003 Jul 18Yesterday Doesn't Go Like ThisYesterday, all my poetry rhymed beautiflay
2003 Jul 18ColoursRed, green, purple, brown
2003 Jul 18Paid to EndWhen I find myself in times of trouble,
2003 Jul 18Silicon DreamsMy computer's on the blink
2003 Jul 18Empty Promises among the Symbols of the NorthAmpersand, I love thee
2003 Jul 18UntitledHow speckled my rotisserie
2003 Jul 18Just As JurassicUpon the plain the stegosaurus
2003 Jul 18The Perpetual Unloved TurtlesThe Hamptons are green this time of year.
2003 Jul 18Was the...?Every hepcat under heaven
2003 Jul 18Animals (Oz)If I ever had a platypus
2003 Jul 18BodiesHer nipples were quite octagonal
2003 Jul 18Again We Raise the Standards of Poetry Crimes Against HumanityThe slate is clean, the ink is fresh
2003 Jul 18Please Don't TryI wish to call attention
2003 Jul 18Singing the Family SongSimon says, "Slow down, you're movin' too fast"
2003 Jul 18UnderwearShe doesn't like my underwear
2003 Jul 18Brief Glimpses of Aqua NovaWhile cycling through the clouds one day
2003 Jul 18Snow Slithers UpThe night was dark and stormy
2003 Jul 18The Lycanthropes Are Eternally Grateful For Your Cooperation In These Matters OfPreposterous! She cried
2003 Jul 18PyramidsWhen mummies in their sarcophagi
2003 Jul 18UntitledWhy must you tinkle in your pants?
2003 Jul 18MadnessWhen all the world is going mad
2003 Jul 18UntitledChildren put on your thinking caps
2003 Jul 18HairHe urged me to go get a perm
2003 Jul 18HalcyonSee how all the daffodils
2003 Jul 18BemusedHow blithely do the crackerjacks
2003 Jul 18DrawnIrresistibly, I feel drawn
2003 Jul 18UntitledRemove your babuskha, mister
2003 Jul 18Sanctum InviolateDamned hypocrisy! In truth I hate them all
2003 Jul 18UntitledI wish it were true that piggies flew
2003 Jul 18Quantum WorldPhotons green and neutrons pink
2003 Jul 18UntitledWhat are these glass shards upon the floor?
2003 Jul 18Numbers IrrationalOne hundred and seventy four point six
2003 Jul 18DreamsHow oft in wet dreams do I walk
2003 Jul 18A Royal DisasterIndeed the overweening queen
2003 Jul 18WienerpomeOur story was unfinished! We had not reached the end
2003 Jul 18UntitledHow softly do the dryads hump
2003 Jul 18NighttownOn a night in september, 1982
2003 Jul 18UntitledBrothels on the hill, tra la
2003 Jul 18Death, Shrug Off the Useless PunctuationCholera, my only friend
2003 Jul 19She-devils UnrulyHow are you doing, Mr. Slurb?
2003 Jul 19Gargling TroubadoursWhy must you gargle on the couch?
2003 Jul 19Jello FellowWhile bouncing on a sea of jello
2003 Jul 19Collaboration Is Not EssentialThe men and women came, from far across the land
2003 Jul 19Foresight in F Minor (Haydn)Where have our old-timers gone?
2003 Jul 19Lunar SunsetsThat moon is not an aspirin
2003 Jul 19Fishies Swimming SilentlyMy glitzy one, my little twerp
2003 Jul 19UntitledThese lovely fruit loops in my lap, these hairpins on my dog
2003 Jul 19UntitledFree verse is my favorite form and so I say to you, "Garbanzo"
2003 Jul 19UntitledTen pennies, three shillings and a paper clip
2003 Jul 19UntitledFrancine can you fix the executioner line to fit the meter?
2003 Jul 19UntitledThis is in free verse and I mean to state that always the cambembert is stale
2003 Jul 19Things Of The Wild UnknownThe haughty hippotamus spake unto the King:
2003 Jul 19Phew, Too(haiku) I've forgotten much
2003 Jul 19TITLESGOHEREFrancine, are you here?
2003 Jul 19Omphalos(haiku) Three rings on my nose
2003 Jul 19Gadfly PuddingSide by side sat F & N, with monitors opposed,
2003 Jul 19Thaw(haiku) Little lips and toes
2003 Jul 19Scrapple Lovin'My headcheese does stink
2003 Jul 19Nocturne OyIn adamantine underpants the slavish sleeper slept,
2003 Jul 19GarbanzosFalafel was not feeling well
2003 Jul 19Lifecycle: Forlorn FlappingHow blithely do we misuse this site and yet it does deserve it
2003 Jul 19Never Reaches GloryMy eyelashes are black
2003 Jul 19Untitled(haiku) When once I stood upon
2003 Jul 19UntitledDyspeptic diehards turn me on
2003 Jul 19UntitledMy luv is like a red red rose
2003 Jul 19WoofI submit that we are not alone
2003 Jul 19WhackyLapwings on my shoulders, nickels in my purse
2003 Jul 19UntitledCorky has a brand new wife
2003 Jul 19UntitledHeebie jeebies, toil and trouble
2003 Jul 19Melodies by JourneymenMoving softly through the symphony
2003 Jul 20NippisingThere was a strange lad from Ontario
2003 Jul 20BingledWhile surfing on the web one day
2003 Jul 20Existentially Imbued(haiku) Why must you insist
2003 Jul 20Untitled(limerick) I knew an old gal from Quebec
2003 Jul 20Paris BlemishedThe last time I saw Paris
2003 Jul 20Uncertain(haiku) He spoke haltingly
2003 Jul 20Unhealthy Backlash ClichesI fear my favorite pollywog has indigestion
2003 Jul 20Dangerous Dancing SensationsWho goes there? I hear your steps
2003 Jul 20Giggling IdolsWhat of Phaeton, Hyperion, Icarus, the angel Lucifer?
2003 Jul 20Vegetables, FranklyYou have disrupted my routine, Mrs. Flugle
2003 Jul 21Separation AthleticMy love is sailing to Toledo
2003 Jul 21Gamesmanship (The Piglets)Oink on, you crazy pigman
2003 Jul 21The Snoring SombrerosI've never known a munchkin like you, Nadine.
2003 Jul 21Giraffe Shoe HappenstancesWould you care to multiply?
2003 Jul 21Ivor the BesottenUnbeknown to Ivor Pooter
2003 Jul 21Planets of Repeated Sincerity(limerick) There was a young maiden from Venus
2003 Jul 22Comeuppance to AstroturfI always knew that I'd be back
2003 Jul 22Often PercolateWhose clothes these are, I think I know,
2003 Jul 22The Hopscotches are GrowlingThe Creature wouldn't seem so bad if only he spoke clearly
2003 Jul 22History Repeats Itself Itself Frequently Despite Appearances To The ContraryTen thousand men have lost their lives
2003 Jul 22Cactus AntsAnts are smart, oh they're smart, oh they think they're so smart
2003 Jul 22Morning is DeadAwake ye slumberers, and greet the day
2003 Jul 22Confessions, TrulyTo dear Mrs Hoopledon, I hope you're feeling better
2003 Jul 23SpoonbillrocyTwas jillig and the smirky twerps
2003 Jul 23Whales are Silent WarriorsLittle children, gather 'round and I will tell a tale
2003 Jul 23Tonight delights us lovingly, but ...The lamps are lit, the table set, the goose is in the oven
2003 Jul 23Don't Do NeverNever tip a robot waiter
2003 Jul 23Stinky Feet(haiku) I think your feet stink
2003 Jul 23Nighttime PaddlingThe sky was dark, and rain was falling
2003 Jul 23Agog at the FreaksWhatever are you doing, Mr. Trimble?
2003 Jul 23Dig it, BonobosFried mice and ferret stew
2003 Jul 23Untold Grinkles do the ZinkWhen grinkles with the morgles bink
2003 Jul 23Fellatio LimericksThere was an old geezer from Kent
2003 Jul 24Voices Brokenthe tiny white wheelbarrow, overturned,
2003 Jul 24Hills Speak of ChlorineThe old mountain holds a secret
2003 Jul 24But for the HeadachesYou may think that it's time for a rhyme
2003 Jul 24Seduction Are UsIt is the faintest of sounds
2003 Jul 24Smog OnionsThe smog comes on little rat feet
2003 Jul 24Boots of Silly LeatherSilly Sally from the valley liked to dilly dally
2003 Jul 24Ownership for MenThis is dedicated to the one I love
2003 Jul 24Questioning BeforeDid you ever wonder why
2003 Jul 24Markup Over SenseCome
2003 Jul 24Rain is No SubstituteIn shimmering skies the clouds were humming
2003 Jul 24A Homerian Epic of Anglicans in PeruThere was an old man from Peru
2003 Jul 24Work and Homework, my work, i hate my work
2003 Jul 24Sleep Will Not Be HeardI really need to get some sleep
2003 Jul 24Forever SpinningSpinning, falling,
2003 Jul 24Imagination, Fortitude, CholesterolImagine there's no flugle
2003 Jul 24The Long ThinDispense with long narration
2003 Jul 24Brie TabulaThe page is blank
2003 Jul 25Rubicund Mummeriesmummeries cast brightly upon lavender sidewalks
2003 Jul 25Poetry and ExcessThere was a man from Timbuktu
2003 Jul 25Oddments From the BookstoresThe shelving groaned with weight tomes
2003 Jul 25Every Phrase Yodelled by WagnerParsifal was bleeding from the gramophone
2003 Jul 25Hunt WithinThe ancient hunter stood proudly
2003 Jul 26People Ran for the Butter"Relax", I say, but they never obey
2003 Jul 26Will Oceans Devour the Unforeseen Goats?The rains had not come that year
2003 Jul 26The Bitter End (Alas I Died Homeless)Alas! Oy vey! My tires are flat
2003 Jul 26Starfish FootwearIf starfish wore shoes
2003 Jul 26You can't Have SushiHave you ever dated Lucy?
2003 Jul 26Travelling with SomeoneAnonymously the poems flow
2003 Jul 26Love AwkwardlyIf I fell in love with you
2003 Jul 26The Yellow SofaTommy, where is my yellow scarf?
2003 Jul 27Parental"You smell bad, Father William," the young man said,
2003 Jul 27Wiggles in SpainThe bubble bath! The bubble bath! I float in pink champagne.
2003 Jul 27Wish To Be"It wasn't meant to be," the woman sobbed.
2003 Jul 28Lips You can KissI should've screwed old what's her name
2003 Jul 28Gingersnaps (Why Dress Up?)Maxine's coming into town, but look at all this
2003 Jul 28When Ambrosia of the Peppermint...Moonbeams and fairy dust, stardust and ambosia
2003 Jul 28Gilbert, With Giants in HandHave you met my wee friend, Gilbert?
2003 Jul 28Knowledge Couth ForsoothThere are many things you do not know
2003 Jul 28And Now Hard SkirtsMy love's inclined to wear a hat
2003 Jul 28Horseback Spirits of the Ghost TownOn a dusty road in an outback town
2003 Jul 28Lost Lies UnderUnder the covers, bodies move
2003 Jul 29Something CountsZero was an astronaut
2003 Jul 29Unbidden Answer to Cellular MessageThe telephone is ringing, dear
2003 Jul 29No More Edible Pope(limerick) There was an old lady from Wales
2003 Jul 30Brian's Life of ImpostionHierarchs with open mouths
2003 Jul 30Alien Hissy FitAliens squirted mustard in my face
2003 Jul 30Not For EdificationOf brooding springs, and hooting rocks
2003 Jul 30Tea Calms, Warmth InvadesMy tea warms my hands
2003 Jul 30Insults for SchoolmarmsSlug bug!
2003 Jul 30They MultiplyYou've learned to tie your shoelaces
2003 Jul 30Dog Life DanceThere once was a dog named Mollie
2003 Jul 30Vaccuum Devices Have Undiscovered PotentialI often think that nothing grows so red as a rose where some once Caesar bled.
2003 Jul 31A Story About Her Master's MustacheIt might've been his husky voice
2003 Jul 31A Prior RainbowRed was the color of my true love's knuckles.
2003 Jul 31Look AskanceLittle girl, look in the window. What do you, what do you see?
2003 Jul 31FogeyNow here is a story, it's really quite gory and really quite sad to relate
2003 Jul 31Sow SucccessI'm pregnant and I don't know why

2003 Aug 1Why you never dared tell the Pope about Mother HubbardWhy do you chide me when you could ride me?
2003 Aug 1Nightmares in a Mind Overtaken by Madness After Sleepless Days and NightsIf you had but one final chance
2003 Aug 1Fishing for the Deal MakersThis time, Sam, we'll make a deal
2003 Aug 1Pick You WhatWhatchamacallit and thingamajig
2003 Aug 1Evenings Much Like ThisThere is magic in the air tonight
2003 Aug 1A Style of Dancing I RememberScarlett and Rhett decided to pet
2003 Aug 2Free at HalloweenThe house was haunted, so they said
2003 Aug 2Epistle upon the Ancient StreamsSir:
2003 Aug 2Who Hasn't Written Doggerel?!Blank verse is but pretentious prose - discuss
2003 Aug 2Why Won't Secrets Reinvigorate our Parakeet?Why won't you tell me
2003 Aug 3Feet Were WalkingWhen I was young did eagerly frequent
2003 Aug 3Ounces of Hidden ObviousnessI got the "I Ain't Got Nuthin' to be Blue About" blues
2003 Aug 3Visiting the MortalsIn San Francisco, on the trams
2003 Aug 3In Awe of Dangerous LivesFar beyond the red-black morning sky
2003 Aug 3You Cannot Steal DiamonsI cannot help but feel that if only I had
2003 Aug 3The Providence NetworksThistly waysides line the primrose path of dalliance
2003 Aug 3When Mice LustSpeaking of teeth and mice
2003 Aug 3Cleaning the Little WeaselsWhere have all the guppies gone?
2003 Aug 4Await the PerilousRemember, if you feel the urge to speak
2003 Aug 4DreamyHe was the man of her dreams - tall, dark and Estonian
2003 Aug 4StinkyStinkbombs here and stinkbombs there
2003 Aug 4Dour Poetry for Fools in LoveRoses are dead
2003 Aug 4Naked Halluciantions of NightMadness and despair have haunted me
2003 Aug 4Fate Knocks at Victorian DoorsThere was a young plumber from Dorset
2003 Aug 4Rhyme in PerversityForgive me if I sound perverse
2003 Aug 4Mean WordsWhen words cannot convey
2003 Aug 4Of PaisleyMy wardrobe is my pride and joy
2003 Aug 4SamWill Kansas Sam be upset with us when he gets back?
2003 Aug 4MorningWaking up at sparrow's fart
2003 Aug 4Heart ShinesThe moon will nevermore
2003 Aug 4My Other Lifetime was a Thing ForegoneA mothball larger than the sun
2003 Aug 4Batman and Gawain (The Quest)Now, hearken, I'll tell you the tale
2003 Aug 4She Never Surrenders Without A...She is a lady in her heart
2003 Aug 4Prey LettersI wandered lonely as a clod
2003 Aug 5The Quirky Quiver (Haiku)Snow falls, cold winds blow
2003 Aug 5Strange StretchedLife passes by at a thousand miles an hour
2003 Aug 5Folks Who Smoke SoapMendicant Sam was a broken man
2003 Aug 5Relativity In Guise Of The Moving MoonA small chunky moon drifts or perhaps
2003 Aug 5Phones and WindowsThe phone is mute, a black hook
2003 Aug 5The End of a Shrewd HeroineThere once was a cold winter knight
2003 Aug 5May I Apply for this Job?On the morning of the seventh day of May
2003 Aug 5Tipi, LivingSam lived in a jerrybuilt sheet-metal tipi.
2003 Aug 5The Best GuestsWith operatic splendour did the door-bell sweetly chime
2003 Aug 5Argument Can'tWhy should I even try to convince you
2003 Aug 5Poetry AlloysWhen composing a poem, one must
2003 Aug 5What Boils Soot?Whatever shall we do with your Aunt Sadie?
2003 Aug 5SkinDoes your skin keep you warm in the night?
2003 Aug 5Denied DreamsThe long body-swept grass
2003 Aug 5Housemaids Singing on SundayIs this what we've come to?
2003 Aug 5Diesel PassWhen you see me, pass me by
2003 Aug 5Invitation to Rather Unlikely PersonnelShould I invite you to my soiree?
2003 Aug 6A RoundHiggle-dee piggle-dee pudding and pie
2003 Aug 6Ode to the AtticLet us praise the humble ceiling fan.
2003 Aug 6Titillate but Don't TouchVersification is such titillation
2003 Aug 6Many Small Wonders for RoyaltyPoor Peter was three inches high
2003 Aug 6Piggy, Piggy, Here Comes PiggyPIGGY WINGS
2003 Aug 6Garden Shoes of the Vaudeville MonstersMonsters in the garden
2003 Aug 6Ballad of Vermillion DancesCould I borrow just a minute of your time?
2003 Aug 6Store Your SmilesThe store was stocked with many things
2003 Aug 6Vacation for GingersnapsI took a trip to Ioway
2003 Aug 6Anyone Who Whinges Can Go ElsewhereMORE LIMERICKS!
2003 Aug 6New Battles for DeceitYou stood trembling
2003 Aug 6Never Wake, But Often DreamsA bleeding broken heart
2003 Aug 7Things Seven Of Pairs Socks Cannot ProvideUNDERPANTS AND BLUCHERS
2003 Aug 7A Three-Life ExerciseLife is like a coconut
2003 Aug 7Seek the Shade, the SilenceIn a garden of unrestful silence
2003 Aug 7Nowhere in Particular (Man Talking)On the Road to Nowhere
2003 Aug 7Bees' ButtocksWhirring dials and blinking lights
2003 Aug 7Frogs and StaleThe frog comes in on little fat feet
2003 Aug 7Fight the Defiant Epithets for Sleeping ChickensThe customer is always right!
2003 Aug 7Menthols for DinosaursDo not go husky into that bad flight
2003 Aug 7Here Moon, There AnotherWe sailed on the third of July
2003 Aug 7Limerick WhoreLimerick Funfest
2003 Aug 7CocksureThere's halfcock and moorcock
2003 Aug 7Apocalypse (Soon)A sodium glow smolders in the sky
2003 Aug 7Why do the Spanish Never Use Toasters?I've never met a man I didn't like.
2003 Aug 7Time and the WalrusThe moon was shining on the grass
2003 Aug 8Whatever I May Need in Make BelieveI may be gone a little while
2003 Aug 8Management EvokedHow do you feel about Life?
2003 Aug 8Vogon Blood MusicOh fratulous wrontings, enfrog me
2003 Aug 8Spin Skipper, My AssThere once was a hack called Andrew Gilligan
2003 Aug 8Mizzen ManhoodOn board the good ship Mary Jane
2003 Aug 8And And And Whimpering"It was so kind of you to come!
2003 Aug 9Mistakes AlwaysOh me oh my
2003 Aug 9Kangaroo DenShe prayed that she might never see the day
2003 Aug 11Autumn, Aimless, Now Upon UsHaiku with me please
2003 Aug 11Sadly Going Between SeasonsThe empty swing still made arcs
2003 Aug 11Too WorseIt was much softer yesterday
2003 Aug 11Bells, Time OfThe bells of contrariness
2003 Aug 11FoodIn the pages of a dusty book
2003 Aug 11The Horizons of RenewalWe have waited for a new beginning
2003 Aug 11The Alphabet Tastes Best ColdAngry aged alsations
2003 Aug 11Billboards, Numbers, and the Signs for HeavenThere once was a poet of note
2003 Aug 11Do Bubba NanoJazz, pizzazz, and razzmatazz
2003 Aug 12Paper GrasshoppersThe moon's a baloon, you know
2003 Aug 12Taxes, AlwaysTaxes, levies, tithes, and tariffs
2003 Aug 12Arcade Dreams Of My Gamey YouthSpace Invaders often haunt my dreams
2003 Aug 12Cremated For BystandersAlan Aardvark ate apples
2003 Aug 12Because the Orchestral Are OrchestralFlutes are mainly known by their ability
2003 Aug 12Void White TruthIt is the blackest of blacks
2003 Aug 12Jonah On WarThere was once a man in a tale
2003 Aug 13UntitledThere is a secret hidden in the code...
2003 Aug 13Around The You You TreeI think that I shall never find, a poem as lovely as your behind
2003 Aug 13Mother OneMother Theresa sported a wart
2003 Aug 14It's the Spuds' MalevolenceWith sinister speed, they come and go
2003 Aug 14If Rapture ExistsIf ever there was a time when wishes and dreams could come true
2003 Aug 14Dead SticksSticks and stones may break my bones
2003 Aug 14Cow EndingYou do not moo, you do not moo
2003 Aug 14Pollyanna Has Mugged MeLike a small child in a candy store
2003 Aug 14Please Pass the WrestlerIt is an ancient wrestler
2003 Aug 14Clique That Promises ExploitationCandidates Promises
2003 Aug 14Goals and PerilsWe have searched the world for treasure
2003 Aug 14He-she me?A limerick often is dirty
2003 Aug 14Semantics AloneAt 4 o'clock on Sunday, with nothing much to do
2003 Aug 15Against SpellingWould you care to dance?
2003 Aug 15Cocksure WillsI dare the wind to blow contrary to my whim
2003 Aug 15Havoc with Spring-Loaded CrutchesThe worm has made our cities black
2003 Aug 15Apocalyptic RumorI heard this rumor in class today..correct me if I'm wrong:
2003 Aug 15Replacement Of My Jaundiced PetticoatAnyone asking about apples
2003 Aug 15The OverThey say the power has just gone out
2003 Aug 15Quixotic Robot QuestsTeflon starships ply the inky depths
2003 Aug 15Melons In DecemberI like bananas, because they have no bones
2003 Aug 15A Fine Line Between Endless CatsOn Friday the seventh of May
2003 Aug 15Begging for WinkEvery letter I have sent you
2003 Aug 15Hayseed, Huh?Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer
2003 Aug 15Cash MeHow dear of you to send me cash
2003 Aug 15Untitled, Entitled, RetitledUntitled
2003 Aug 16Scone ClichésIt's always darkest just before it gets lighter
2003 Aug 16Fish BrocadeWho needs rhetorical questions?
2003 Aug 17You Are Choking Me With Gloves OnYou are the very air I breathe, my sustenance
2003 Aug 17Exhausted Bus of SandI took a Greyhound bus to Timbuktu
2003 Aug 17End And EndThree score and ten years ago
2003 Aug 17Naughty SonnetOh how I loathe thee let me count the ways
2003 Aug 17Redneck DesignsSouthern Astrological Signs
2003 Aug 17Favorite WigsCrewcuts, pompadours, bouffants, and mohawks
2003 Aug 17Steel Safari of Red RiversSaid the zebra to the lion, "Why in heaven are you cryin'?"
2003 Aug 17Where Computations Love Cabbage SoupAn inauspicious bread-line debut
2003 Aug 17Kamasutra for Happy Knives and SpoonsThere was a fine seller of pearls
2003 Aug 17EffigyRight among the maddened crows
2003 Aug 17UntitledCry wolf
2003 Aug 17They AbruptlyJonathan and Mary
2003 Aug 18RhymeIs the meaning of poetry lost in the ages?
2003 Aug 18RevengeTo those of you who through the years
2003 Aug 18Farce OfTypes of Medical Coverage
2003 Aug 18Memories Sleep With YouThis is the strangest place
2003 Aug 18Pantoum of BrevityLooking down through the shadows
2003 Aug 18Exemptions for the Uneducated LozengeTHREE WORDS PER LINE, UNRHYMED
2003 Aug 18Calculating BetweenThe calculator is calculating its own lifespan
2003 Aug 18The RevolutionThe desert sands are sleeping tonight
2003 Aug 18Flattery of a GooseWhen starting on a masterpiece
2003 Aug 18Blasted Poets102 poems in just over a week - do none of you sleep? I'm ready to weep
2003 Aug 18True Stories but Grossly TruncatedThere once was a man who was purple (world's hardest limerick coming up...)
2003 Aug 18WhenHere stands a giant
2003 Aug 18Synthetic Harmony, Synthetic ReflectionsAnother new poem, now what will it be?
2003 Aug 19Words GaloreWords to Live By
2003 Aug 19DisregardOh how I loathe thee, let me count the ways
2003 Aug 19Tricky Fellow Am IMultiple line submissions
2003 Aug 19Tarragon PigletsHeaven-sent sixpence, platypus pie
2003 Aug 19Today We Are In The MistsIt started out as molecules, swimming in the primal soup
2003 Aug 19Shameless? Us?The incredulous bunch, the lot of them all
2003 Aug 19Revelations UndergoneShaman footfall
2003 Aug 19What's The Point Of Intermittency?Hello, Beefy, howya doin'?
2003 Aug 19Antiproverbial: Aphorisms RedefinedWhat if one swallow does make a summer?
2003 Aug 19When Sheep MooWhen spoonbilling, always say "boo!"
2003 Aug 20Lurking in ThePlay it again, Kansas Sam
2003 Aug 20MoooonMoon bars, moonbeams, mooning honeymooners
2003 Aug 20That Memory of No-OneMy eyes have grown too tired for seeing
2003 Aug 20StopA poem sat, neglected, unloved
2003 Aug 20Bus Baby BoopI went down to the bus station to meet my baby
2003 Aug 20PinaforesqueWhen I was a lad, I served my time
2003 Aug 20Only A Warthog Won'tGoofy Haikus
2003 Aug 20Down Hallways and CorridorsKeats and Sandburg, Dickinson, Yeats
2003 Aug 20Bedevil The FaithfulWhat's that in your pants? Is it something to eat?
2003 Aug 20Sigh and SuicideIt's time for a limerick now
2003 Aug 20Why Are Doughtnuts Delicious?From my window, I can see
2003 Aug 21Horace is What We LikeWould you like to waltz or samba?
2003 Aug 21Spies Seeking Heat in ArabiaClose to the railway, hidden by bushes
2003 Aug 21Washing Fish In My UnderwearSo when are ya gonna make up yer mind?
2003 Aug 21Whackers Are SlackersHotchie-totchie, Liberace
2003 Aug 21Fruit Is Like LifeMy life is like a grapefruit
2003 Aug 21Overcome HeartMy life is like a mouse-trap
2003 Aug 21Not Yet Nice EnoughAussie rock lyric challenge
2003 Aug 21Scurvy and VarletsI challenge you now with my swordTo the death! (well I'm really quite bored)
2003 Aug 21Wooing under the CloudsIneluctably, you woo me. The clouds
2003 Aug 22Licks For KicksWith the first light of dawn, the great armies gather
2003 Aug 22But a Pizza Means the End of ThunderstormsMORE GOOFY HAIKUS
2003 Aug 22Ungentle UrgingsThe rarely recognised conversation
2003 Aug 22Misery TrainsBill stood in Charing Cross looking at the departure board
2003 Aug 22What is Rope?When you look around and realise that naught is what it seems
2003 Aug 22A Doberman You All Wanted To KnowThere was an old maid from Duluth
2003 Aug 22Superhighway Of DiscontentCyberspace is crumbling
2003 Aug 23With Suzanne in SwazilandI never thought of leaving home until I met Suzanne
2003 Aug 23But For a NoviceMatilda tolled the churchyard bell
2003 Aug 23The Meatloaf SerenadeWith faltering steps Alonso reached the summit
2003 Aug 24Topological JamI bought a jar of marmalade, paid quite a little sum
2003 Aug 24Glibness for FakenhamBills are overdue, your car has broken down
2003 Aug 24Eager BeefA toast by any other name is but burnt bread
2003 Aug 25Why Forgive?Forgive me if I salivate when Pavlov rings his bell
2003 Aug 25Beep ListList of Chores
2003 Aug 25Belief Now!For all of you that don't believe in unicorns
2003 Aug 25Brooding NightThe night is a ladyOf no uncertain temperament
2003 Aug 25Goatishness : A Change For The BetterBefore I owned a goat-face mask
2003 Aug 25Sounds Like the Vampire AbroadThe beating of a distant drum
2003 Aug 25Why is Rain?The rain fell only between the hours of 6 and 7
2003 Aug 25All My ComplaintsMy battery is draining
2003 Aug 25The Great FussI was fishing one day on the pier
2003 Aug 25Sobering LaptopT'was but a night on the dell
2003 Aug 25Lilliputians - My Play on Their SetLilliputians in my lap
2003 Aug 25I Shall CopeMy, my! All my underpants are gone!
2003 Aug 25Pure FlounderingHow little do we know ourselves
2003 Aug 25And Then the Next AnimalFerdinand the Porcupine was quite a prickly fellow
2003 Aug 26Negligent Daleks Give Us A Passable FlamencoI'd offer you a crumpet,
2003 Aug 26"You Are Carbon", We SaidThe waves are in turmoil, and strike at the rocks
2003 Aug 26The Embroidered GorgonzolaTeapots singing in the rain
2003 Aug 26Dimmer Switch HaikusCompounded, as an alloy
2003 Aug 26The Thong Is What PosesUnderneath a mountain, in a dark secluded cave
2003 Aug 26Who's To Absolve the Jersey Stitch?There was a young nun from Hoboken
2003 Aug 26Door To Indisposable SleepThe haiku returns
2003 Aug 26Holographic ImplantTales of magic and mystery
2003 Aug 26The Page is a CubeLike a russian doll, or perhaps an onion
2003 Aug 26Rich Tarts' ApplauseWhen I was young, I was terribly poor
2003 Aug 26I Hear Sousaphones MarchingTrombones are sounding in my sleep
2003 Aug 26The Popemobile In EscrowI have it in mind to purchase a pie
2003 Aug 27Headless ParrotsWhen Granma discovered my dungeon
2003 Aug 27Pole Bank FripperyThe long haul to Christmas has started today
2003 Aug 27Must Pups Melt Their Carpet?The pups are gamboling again
2003 Aug 27The Innocent Murder of FireI see the walking dead, the fire in their eyes
2003 Aug 27Cupcakes For JesusSo many Herberts with which to contend
2003 Aug 28Your PrizeThere is often told a legend of a treasure
2003 Aug 28Onions Can't CryI've far too much hair on my head
2003 Aug 28Contemplate the StuffLet the sun shine in! Or let it rain.
2003 Aug 28In My Dreams of PaintI hear you are sailing to Lesbos
2003 Aug 28Millipede StainWhen saturation takes its toll
2003 Aug 28If Oblivion Had FoesIf everything that you had ever known
2003 Aug 28Faintly Wild, Like Justice and LoveLet me describe the love of my life
2003 Aug 28I Am Not The Obsessive Weirdo You AreI like to spoonbill
2003 Aug 28Long Unbidden MelodyWine and women, women and song
2003 Aug 28Will Scarlett Ruffled Your WhiskersTry not to get your knickers in a knot
2003 Aug 29Inter-Planetary TomfooleryI once took a spaceship to Mars
2003 Aug 29Silly ClothesMy boots they are not filigree'd
2003 Aug 29Time CalendricDoes anyone look forward to September?
2003 Aug 29When a Door is DrunkA healthy meal of beans is the way to start
2003 Aug 29The Gnomes Who RollOnce upon a time, in a country faraway
2003 Aug 29Yurt OptometristPerpetuating structures: these
2003 Aug 29Storm the Language Barricade!Latin died and Gaelic's not so well
2003 Aug 29WishI wish I were a platypus
2003 Aug 29Dressed To CurlStaring blankly through the glass
2003 Aug 29The Burlington Commuter BluesThe wrong kind of sun, the wrong kind of snow
2003 Aug 30Don Prufrock, Life of TediumThe internet crawled to a halt
2003 Aug 30Permanent PerditionHave you ever felt vibrating oscillatons?Perhaps reverberating resonations?
2003 Aug 30Why Death IsTwice I read your will
2003 Aug 31Emilia And Her Tremendous BrainpowerIn my cardboard cardigan
2003 Aug 31Are You Better?More haiku you say?
2003 Aug 31Wellington Shining ThroughTelescoping microscopes and shoehorning hornpipes
2003 Aug 31Undressing SwineI really must take a shower

2003 Sep 1UntitledThe proof of the rock
2003 Sep 1Even Time Will Have to Tread the PathA thousand opportunities
2003 Sep 1Pablo The Optometrist's FriendPicasso, in his early years,
2003 Sep 1Questionable PantheonsSlumberers! Rome is burning all about you
2003 Sep 1Nirvana in DaylightI think I'll tiptoe over there
2003 Sep 1Chipping ProverbsA French kiss from the Blarney Stone
2003 Sep 2If You Were UnveilingThings I would do if I were a cowboy:
2003 Sep 2My Guts ReekGood Morning, Mr. Soap!
2003 Sep 2A ReliefAn uncle, all carbon
2003 Sep 2Webfooted Drive Through TownOn the night I was headed for townI went out and waved a cab down
2003 Sep 2Our Snotty PimI bought a cute puppet named Pim
2003 Sep 2The Night Match (Unseen Sisters)Simple sisters in the sunlight
2003 Sep 2No Week PlannerMonday's light brought dreams of birth
2003 Sep 2Pie TrappingsNymphs and satyrs, centaurs and dryads
2003 Sep 2Ugly SecretsNosy spoonbillers
2003 Sep 2Fandango LashingI've told you once, I've told you twice,
2003 Sep 2One Cat for Every LearHow blithely do the flivvers fly
2003 Sep 3Something Sinful For BasildonFinally, the croissant burns
2003 Sep 3Guilelessly, NoGus Grissom ... wasn't he the dude
2003 Sep 3Roomy LifeHe spent his life in deep despair and gloom
2003 Sep 3Verse JusticeAck! My poetic license has been revoked!
2003 Sep 3Sweet Global SoupAcross the time-zones, rhymesters meet
2003 Sep 3Happy Ode to Love UnboundedCome with me, My Love, and see good Nature's fairest flow'r
2003 Sep 3Cummerbunds Will Fall (2004)Predictions for the Coming Year
2003 Sep 3Tim the Godfearing ScientistThere once was a boffin called Tim
2003 Sep 3Spooning the Kielbasa Worse Than MeWhy must you eat the kielbasa?
2003 Sep 4Puzzled MonkeyThere once was a Coventry Monkey
2003 Sep 4Paul never liked peace anyhowYes, haiku is back
2003 Sep 4Air Is Saleable To Those Who Don't CareBilly Mays here, Folks, to tell you about an incredible new product:
2003 Sep 4A Pointy NeckWhy do people stare at me?
2003 Sep 4Crewcuts And ClangersGus Grissom ... wasn't he the one
2003 Sep 4Sonia Wasn't LostSonia is my name, flirting is my game
2003 Sep 4Mugging For Pennies"The proof is in the pudding," or so I've heard it said
2003 Sep 4Escape AttemptsThere once was a Cornishman, Lee,
2003 Sep 4Avoid Big PiesI once knew a Heywood Jablome
2003 Sep 4A JourneyA big bloke called Gojko the Serb
2003 Sep 5Goose NutsBe like the squirrel
2003 Sep 5Wonders Nobody KnowsDouble-u double-u double-u dot
2003 Sep 5Putting the Carthorse Before ZenAt times the truth may not appear the best approach to take
2003 Sep 5The Circus Elephant BluesMy tutu's not starched and my toe shoes are scuffed
2003 Sep 5Cruella Knew Every HamsterI once knew a shipless Magellan
2003 Sep 5The Holiest GlueReligions I am Considering Joining
2003 Sep 5Yammering AgendaMy political agenda:
2003 Sep 5Truly, I Have Subverted YouI can't help but note that your navel is inverted
2003 Sep 5SneezingArrrrghhh!!!!
2003 Sep 5The Bob Job MurdersI once had an uncle named Bob
2003 Sep 6Sister Sarah and the Beef PanicWhatcha gonna do when the money runs out?
2003 Sep 6Persistent FadingChatting can be difficult
2003 Sep 6Christmas Eggs (Sorry)The lesser spotted Spoonbill
2003 Sep 6They Came ThirdDyspeptic Malthusians are roaming about
2003 Sep 6Googlewhacking ReportTragically, we must report this sad fact:
2003 Sep 7Brian is ThereThere was a young maiden from Nome
2003 Sep 7Beer GodsThou still unopen'd flask of liquor,
2003 Sep 8Insupportable ToothbrushesThe dream went to sleep,
2003 Sep 8Sequoia's LawyersThe sycamore's riposte
2003 Sep 9Revisionist ShenanigansIn my cardboard cardigan
2003 Sep 9U-Boat BlessingsTrilingualism, once a curse,
2003 Sep 9Butter Belly FanclubNeglecting the home repairs I couldn't do last winter
2003 Sep 9He Knew Lake GenevaTaupe plateaus, a turquoise skyThe bleached bones of oxen
2003 Sep 9Gargled EndBy the time you read this message
2003 Sep 9More SweepingsMaybe now, or maybe later
2003 Sep 9The Chrysostom CathedralChrysostom ... wasn't he the saint
2003 Sep 9Let The Litmus DecideIt's time we rearranged the border
2003 Sep 10Filling For That Apocalyptic SandwichWho ate my doughnuts? I could weep
2003 Sep 10The Exorcism of All LimericksThere was an old hag from New York
2003 Sep 10A Romatic EndingBeth and Lee got hitched in Vegas
2003 Sep 10Curse Me, Fungus!The Eskimo, my paramour
2003 Sep 11On The ToesIve just seen my feet for the first time in years
2003 Sep 11Package Surprise, Not Surprise PackageOft had I heard of Lucy Gray
2003 Sep 11One Less Day to RememberJournal Entries
2003 Sep 11Spotted CrunchI suggested a title word and the word was this
2003 Sep 12The Premise for My Jellybean GuidelinesSleep eludes me now
2003 Sep 13Cash ElegyLet us praise a country maestro: Johnny Cash
2003 Sep 14Ghosts for My PosterDorian hung on my parlour wall
2003 Sep 16The Moon So Subtly FlyingOnce I flew to the moon, my wings dripped gold and blue
2003 Sep 16Pub CoquettesDesmond stays at home and does his pretty face
2003 Sep 165-7-5 HarmonyRefuge I must seek
2003 Sep 16Through the Days of SmoulderingI can barely remember the time
2003 Sep 17Where Eagles DribblePrivet skirts the aerodrome
2003 Sep 17If Only God Lived 9 LivesThe first thing I learned in my life as a cat
2003 Sep 17Anarchy PastillesWhen Spoonbill went on the blink
2003 Sep 17Time or PorcelainI frequently sit on the dunny
2003 Sep 17Cold Boff in FreedomHowever shall the cold night envade,
2003 Sep 17A Meadowlark Crumbling in BasaltA costive agent knows too well
2003 Sep 18Courage, John!Ray Harryhausen, in the days before attaining fame,
2003 Sep 18Genesis is the Only TruthO Universe, O sparkling void, teach me of thy ways
2003 Sep 18About A HedgehogThe problem with speaking in verse
2003 Sep 18To Brother DominoThe money ran out, and I had to leave
2003 Sep 18Semi FrenzyThe smell of camphor; dust motes in the sun;
2003 Sep 18My BlotterThe ink was barely dry upon the page
2003 Sep 18Legacy of Homey CharmsI would hardly complain that loudly to be compared with Frost
2003 Sep 18Sound-Effects for Hitchcock's RailwayThese neatherds know a trick or two
2003 Sep 18The Trouser Leg of HellI have measured out my life with tablespoons
2003 Sep 19Redemption of the RadishesBlossoms the color of bruises
2003 Sep 19I Fear Bonnie Lies Under the Ocean FreewayI've oft wondered what Karin looks like
2003 Sep 19Strange Bits Of FilthKansas Sam's brain overheated
2003 Sep 19Floating My DeliciousIndescribably delicious doodads
2003 Sep 19Weary With Strangely Sprung HappinessWe tried our darnedests to succeed
2003 Sep 19The Walks of Soul SistersI have seen this place before
2003 Sep 19The Effervescent DigestIf I ever went to Athens
2003 Sep 19The Hoity-Toity EnvelopesThere was a young painter from Maine
2003 Sep 20Drooling Without DementiaAn empty page is
2003 Sep 20The Circling Saucers Of SiriusMy little pal never leaves me
2003 Sep 20Bubblegum and ScrabbleLollipops and bubblegum, jujubes and dots
2003 Sep 20Kindly Mind My ZooKruschev and me
2003 Sep 20Regardless of Their AppearanceThe haiku beckons
2003 Sep 20Beatles StewWhen I get to the bottom, I go back to the top
2003 Sep 20Licensed to Kill EverythingMoneypenny's not a happy bunny
2003 Sep 20Pirate RhymesThere once was a pirate, Blackbeard
2003 Sep 21Toes of ParaffinCamille, thou most elegant doorstop
2003 Sep 21MilkroundWhoremongers, rumormongers, mongers galore
2003 Sep 21Ceaseless Efforts ConquerI have not the courage to conquer life
2003 Sep 21Beaming ConstipationYou can choose to conform, you can choose to rebel
2003 Sep 21Input CommandmentsAnother call from Abraham
2003 Sep 21Though Tamborines are ComfortingI may have to saddle a horse
2003 Sep 22Apologies To The Stovepipe BabyYou got a smile so sweet, you coulda been drip glucose
2003 Sep 22Infatuation: The Amusing ConundrumWhat do you want to do with this?
2003 Sep 22My Misadventures Began in ClevelandInaccurate, like any map
2003 Sep 22Emergency HeadlessnessEmergency! Emergency!
2003 Sep 22Who Will Have The Lady Over?The sun was not shining the day
2003 Sep 22Quicksand in My TushYou're my special Dalek
2003 Sep 22Trysting Without ThomasinaIn my borrowed jacket
2003 Sep 22Nirvana of CleopatraI made my peace with destiny and fate
2003 Sep 22MuggedCoffee mugs are breeding grounds
2003 Sep 22Quiche SwimIf every boy and every girl
2003 Sep 22Signs Of SorrowsI am sowing hope
2003 Sep 22Plunder of the PhigosiaI have dined with the Gods, and yet
2003 Sep 22Dystopia The MooseIn this city there are no angels
2003 Sep 22Minstrels Really KnowThe Troubadour was travelling, his merry band in tow
2003 Sep 23The Wickedness of LuxorThere once was an arrogant Pharaoh
2003 Sep 23Isn't Doubt Corrosive?Doubt is so corrosive
2003 Sep 23That Superficial SniperHe snaps his fingers with such authority
2003 Sep 23Why Listen?If wishes were horses
2003 Sep 23Making the Tide WetI once had to wrestle a bear
2003 Sep 23Mix My Soul with Potions MetaphysicalWords enfold me, winged things
2003 Sep 23Further The Pope's Unwitting ConversionDown the gullet, soft and sweet
2003 Sep 24Yellow Pasty CavalcadeI've heard that folks that are from the U.K.
2003 Sep 24Unlikely Gumdrops from SavannahThere once was a moose from Ontario
2003 Sep 24A Civilised Child, Lost for MomentsInto the unblinking eyes of children
2003 Sep 24Time is Our SinecureWithin this life awakening
2003 Sep 24Tumble Driers of YesteryearWise men have been fooled
2003 Sep 24The Gospel of Even NumbersMy only brush with India
2003 Sep 24The Sun-Drenched ArcticNot my muscle!
2003 Sep 24Grandma Ain't Old Enough For Birthdays Any MoreGrandma still sports a teased bouffant
2003 Sep 24Practise The BirdyAt the crack of day when the baby birds do sing
2003 Sep 24The Meagre Friend of JugsNewbie, newbisti, newbit
2003 Sep 24Some Poet UnknownMay we address you in verse?
2003 Sep 24Water FingersThe Irish invented the limerick
2003 Sep 24Blessed are the CircularBlessed are the spoonbillers
2003 Sep 24Recruitment Drive By The Bogus Snobbery GuardiansHow to swell our number, how increase our ranks?
2003 Sep 24Texted EvolutionWtih frsit and lsat ltteer in palce, it's siad any wrod can be raed
2003 Sep 24Night Before Time Immoderatein the darkness of the night
2003 Sep 25The Tidal Sound of Deflated SoulsThe river was breaking its bank
2003 Sep 25The Queen Of All ChagrinOne bright September morning, the sky a crystal blue
2003 Sep 25America, Land Where Meiosis ReignsI've heard that the folks in the U S of A
2003 Sep 25Tribute of the Rather WetI once knew a lady, Francine
2003 Sep 25DisorientedAnd now I leave this lunchtime land
2003 Sep 25How To Cook VegetablesI may have to boil a turnip
2003 Sep 25A Melee Mightn't Make My Machinations MusicalTo write a good poem several things are required
2003 Sep 25My Confession‘Screech Screech’, screeched the cat
2003 Sep 25Learned SeaWhen halfway through swimming the channel
2003 Sep 25Lightning Ignites My Secret BeardPrecipitous whiskers
2003 Sep 25Mother-in-law with OreganoMy mother-in-law, my mother-in law
2003 Sep 25Filling the Proverbial CranniesI try to Haiku
2003 Sep 25The Intent Of NosesAttend the tale of Jack the Lad
2003 Sep 26Mail-Room MysteryA weakness for detail
2003 Sep 26Ghazal to AsylumI fear that one day they will carry me off
2003 Sep 26Bored MagnoliaWhat kind of tree would you most like to be?
2003 Sep 26The Copy-Cat StutterThe miscreant potato
2003 Sep 26Difficult TimesVersify where you are able
2003 Sep 26The Authors of Unsettled RemainsOn Spoonbill we all write in verse
2003 Sep 26Finis isThis is the first line
2003 Sep 26Karma RodentsDreaming gerbils in the sawdust dream of you and me
2003 Sep 26A Simple Purveyor of GaffesCarpe diem, as they say
2003 Sep 26The Global Hegemony of You and YoursUne nuit foncée et orageuse
2003 Sep 26Ears for EyelidsSleep is coming soon
2003 Sep 26Camelot - an Ongoing InvestigationLong, long ago, in Camelot
2003 Sep 26Feathery FiendsWhat is the matter, my fine-feathered friend?
2003 Sep 26Once You Forget My Name, A Strange Leathery Complexion BeckonsA man with a prong on his nose
2003 Sep 27Noodle Ingests ItselfMumbles not heard on any Pink Floyd album:
2003 Sep 27Friday Goof-OffMotivation now departed, though the day is not yet done
2003 Sep 27In Piles of Half-Burned PizzaWhat evil you planning today?
2003 Sep 27Start The Timeclock EarlierFriday evening's nearly here
2003 Sep 28Hindsight BlindnessIf I had known that this would be
2003 Sep 28Wiggling On SteroidsWhen playing a game of poker with some dogs
2003 Sep 29My Puckered TimesUncork the bottle and light a cigar
2003 Sep 29Agriculture Good And BadIn the land where the brain-fart trees grow
2003 Sep 29Morbid Obsessions With BroccoliMy imagination runs a little wild at times
2003 Sep 29Consciousness for PeptidesWhat will they think of next, those clever clever men
2003 Sep 29Fellow UnravellersI'd like to raise a glass to my friends across the sea
2003 Sep 29The Progenitors Served ThemWhen our pets outlive their use
2003 Sep 29Hypothermic Ennui for Old TimesThe leaves are turning brown again. I wonder how they know
2003 Sep 30Fasting with Predictable TerrorFor many years, this story has remained untold
2003 Sep 30Food for the TwinKielbasa is a sausage quite sublime
2003 Sep 30What Is Best For EachNine yards matter, when in zoos or farms an unclear sign
2003 Sep 30Flowing The FableOnce upon a time in a faraway land
2003 Sep 30Transcribed by Strangers that FloatKeep all new songs as softly sweet as mine
2003 Sep 30The First Cyborg WhoreRosie was a robot made of steel
2003 Sep 30Gravel for My Poignant CotillionFlippant poignancy
2003 Sep 30Times Square DancePiercing sunset with her hand
2003 Sep 30Have the Patience of the BrokenI'm building castles in the sky
2003 Sep 30Contactual Precautions and Unbecoming CursesYou must, when adding cream to recipes

2003 Oct 1An Elliptical DoppelgangerMe and my loneliness; we often talk
2003 Oct 1A Challenge To The JuvenileHow many times have you started a line
2003 Oct 1He Knew I Was a FrogMiss Piggy was making a fuss
2003 Oct 1Look, No Anatomy!I looked at my feet and to my surprise
2003 Oct 1Tree UrchinUnder the shedding nose-nut tree
2003 Oct 1The Elemental BlimeyA wistful moment
2003 Oct 1Forlorn Ode To VerseOn Helicon, the Muses gather round
2003 Oct 1If Not InsoucianceFeeling rather awkward, newly clad in neon eyewear
2003 Oct 1Railing Against SootyI promise not to mention lice
2003 Oct 1Several Nirvana YearsThis metropolis, this wasteland, these wand'ring souls
2003 Oct 1The Pretentious Structures For Tasting My OeuvreAt Halifax, the Muses gather round
2003 Oct 1Bowling Nearby StonesStepping through a wall of mirrors
2003 Oct 2Straight Forwardtiny
2003 Oct 2Opinion Is Not A OccupationIf fish could scream
2003 Oct 2Too Soon To ReconnoitreFrozen embryos
2003 Oct 2Perspective Isn't All UnlikelyA tap on the spine
2003 Oct 2I'll never ηπ againI once was told that A is πr
2003 Oct 2The Flawed, But Somehow Delightful VacationLet us retire to France
2003 Oct 2Arts Other Than Those I CherishA gerbil in a racing car
2003 Oct 2Not Their Fault At All, ReallyWhen down-and-outs start trading shins
2003 Oct 2Metamorphosis: You Cave InYour chakra throbs with crystal chi
2003 Oct 2Absorbent SyllablesAnother year on, the question arises:
2003 Oct 2Large Enough To Store TimeWhat better place than here?
2003 Oct 2Poets - We're Belligerent To A FaultPoets fight with words and not with swords
2003 Oct 2The Backwards TimeMyself when young did eagerly frequent
2003 Oct 4Captain CorrectionThe sky is blue and so are you
2003 Oct 4If Wishes Were ForcesFix what is broken
2003 Oct 4Our First Love We DeniedWe fell into the ocean
2003 Oct 6Nailing Lips To My UmbrellaThe lipstick factory: kick down the door
2003 Oct 6Hammering On The EyelinerKick down the door of the lipstick factory
2003 Oct 7Horizons Known Only to the CertainOver the listing, under the stamp
2003 Oct 7Spread Your Ears Skiffle JunkiesCoughs and sneezes
2003 Oct 7Cheesecake Factory TourCheer up, here's Mister Milk
2003 Oct 7Dancing JCBLet's build a mountain
2003 Oct 7Coffee On My YardstickCoffee grounds in the sink, the drain webbed with hair
2003 Oct 8Plutarchs Anthill BluesWhen flying on a jumbo jet
2003 Oct 8My Least Best FailingThe restrooms here are fairly clean
2003 Oct 8Have Pickles, Everyone!Pencilled eyebrows, shaven legs
2003 Oct 9The Dreaded Chair GangThe sly London chair gang is at it again
2003 Oct 9Honestly, If Anyone Dares Mention Earwax Again...Among the elbows, as a rogue
2003 Oct 9Dancing the InevitableWhy must you dance the lambada?
2003 Oct 10Numerous WonderlandsFour-and-twenty blackbirds
2003 Oct 10Right Nestled Securely Among WrongOur old friend, haiku
2003 Oct 10Let'sU LKE 2 HIKU?
2003 Oct 10Have You Enough Putty?Wetching in the tersome rain
2003 Oct 11Rearward Facing Gum Machines Realise Their Cosmic PurposeAn overpriced player called Rio
2003 Oct 12The High WhatI want to do to you, what the spring does to the trees
2003 Oct 13Deep-Fried NostalgiaUp your nose with a rubber hose
2003 Oct 13A Lacklustre ParagonChanged the channels 'til my fingers bled
2003 Oct 13Extended Gravity From The Spectral RegisterGosh! That cat's obscenely fat!
2003 Oct 13Gaugin, You VillainSee, saw; go, gone;
2003 Oct 13Loincloths of HickorySome folks like a formula
2003 Oct 14Blamobilog's Last ReturnA vessel most unfit for sea
2003 Oct 14Melted Rectories of Nyum-NyumOn vacation, I saw a most Marvel-ous cave
2003 Oct 14The Apologetic PolkaEscape these shores I must, and head for foreign soil
2003 Oct 14Relentless KnishesThere was an old lady from Wales
2003 Oct 15Yesteryear ForgottenBarmy rain lady, why stand in the rain?
2003 Oct 15Unsightly CheesologyI am filled with remorse, and the reasons are three:
2003 Oct 15Lobbyists In SpoonlandReverend Spooner, twice a day,
2003 Oct 15Disaster and Cheek'This watch you sold me for a pig -
2003 Oct 15Most Even-Handed Definitionimpeccable: Can not be pecced
2003 Oct 15Haunted ColoursLacerated insights pour into my head
2003 Oct 15Shaking Like Evaporating MilkmaidsDon't think me ungrateful, but
2003 Oct 16Darling Little OrphansWhen Uncle Roland came to stay
2003 Oct 16They Who Remove Buttons From Unsuspecting HarlotsLen reported Clara to the fashion commissar
2003 Oct 16Sleeping Is IgnoranceWhile trudging through the swamp let us endeavor
2003 Oct 16Protruding PosteriorThe real derivation of 'prat'
2003 Oct 16Our Bombastic Parlour PigTerence wrote, when not in Thrace, a clutch of tearful plays
2003 Oct 17Songs of Prestigious Bill Giblets, the Whistling TailorI had my shoes shined in Chicago once
2003 Oct 17Reinstate War FunYou've seen but a few of my numerous failings
2003 Oct 17Incompetence, IncompetenceWhilst painting the ceiling, the artist remarked:
2003 Oct 17Any Compound of PhosphorusParadigm of porters' skill
2003 Oct 17The Pennyweight SauceA pennyweight of muskets scattered on the dock
2003 Oct 17Any Old Moth-Eaten UniverseThis plethora of pickles
2003 Oct 18Asphalt Trumps My AceI like
2003 Oct 18Naughtiness As CanI once knew a good sick ducker
2003 Oct 19Smiles Bestow BlessingsLike a snake, your smile stretches
2003 Oct 19Go-Faster WaistcoatFaster than the human mind can ever comprehend
2003 Oct 19Disease MeWhen one would look into your eye
2003 Oct 19Mary, Nary, Oh-So-Scary"I never think when I can talk,"
2003 Oct 19Death is What the Cliché WillViolets are blue
***2003 Oct 20Dignity for Sixty Six Possible Consonants'Twas on the 8th of August that the taxman came to call
2003 Oct 20Avoid Our Stranded CactusDreaming of a potted snipe
2003 Oct 21Upside-Down Cat BluesSometimes I feel I'm going insane
2003 Oct 21Limerick About a TroutLet us now swim in Lake Erie
2003 Oct 21Pam Sandwiches, Pruriently SlicedThe millimetre: squat, unclean
2003 Oct 21Other Pubic GrindingsAh, your onyx eyes and sequined purse
2003 Oct 21In Vicious Family CirclesOh papa, look! A jolly bruin
2003 Oct 21Just A HogThere once was a pervert named Mick
2003 Oct 21Alright?Hey Randy? Are you still up?
2003 Oct 21Enough Of DeathSharp as a razor my misericordia
2003 Oct 22The Halibut Swears To AttackMajestic as a pikestaff was old Jim,
2003 Oct 22Vice and ChipsThe world, a fuzzball, a ball of yarn
2003 Oct 22Cooper's Atomic DogmealInside this barrel - don't you know? -
2003 Oct 22Regional Railway SensibilitiesMostly air, my lost parade
2003 Oct 22My Corduroy Mariner, CorrespondinglyWith skin as pale as honesty
2003 Oct 22Screaming for Revenge in the AfterlifeSomething there is that doesn't love a fish
2003 Oct 23Gene PylonsAndromaque: 'twixt bloodied sheets
2003 Oct 23Tsarist Biscuits, Long AgoBorneo in a biscuit-tin
2003 Oct 23Mary Marmalade And Very Tasty PuppiesI make them go fast
2003 Oct 23Don't Align Me!Before enraptured earthworms find you
2003 Oct 23Robert Faked Tough ChoicesThere was an old coot from Zimbabwe
2003 Oct 23The Frequency for Repaginated LadiesPersephone once said to me
2003 Oct 23That LaterLong and short: Venus emits gas at sunrise
2003 Oct 23In Nougat(haiku) Seven plumquats sit
2003 Oct 24Poor Child RolandHow he dawdles! Watch the steps
2003 Oct 24Worm Turning CircleNobody loses all the time
2003 Oct 24Perhaps You Think I'll HideA walk in the park is all very nice
2003 Oct 24Therefore I Can Be Repeatedly WoggledI seldom spurl the gaffled zern
2003 Oct 24Aperitifs to Drink When Meeting Your MakerThe mustard in my lemonade
2003 Oct 25When I Glorify the BikeI ride my bike around the house
2003 Oct 25Theatre of HeadsThe film was droll, though there were dull stretches
2003 Oct 26Hairless of SinsHer body glistened, hairless quite,
2003 Oct 26Profit and the Usual UmbrageLest we profit from the slides
2003 Oct 26The Cronyism of SongbirdsSmells like you're frying bologna
2003 Oct 26Nope to BlogQuasi blog
2003 Oct 27Lemon FeetYour limpet grasp gives me no rest
2003 Oct 27Imagine This WeirdnessImagine a World without...
2003 Oct 27Lawrence's Spaniard FoolHow hideous is the Spaniard
2003 Oct 27Always Vainglorious HootenanniesI bought a little bandersnatch
2003 Oct 27Delusions are my FamilyI love you because
2003 Oct 28Mouldy HiccoughIt
2003 Oct 28Go, Authors of My Lunch!See how you like it, Mr. Black!
2003 Oct 28Flame White Trash!I went to bat for you so many times, and how have you repaid me?
2003 Oct 29Secretly, in AberdeenA day in the life of...
2003 Oct 29Tmesis HellI like to spoon-bloody-bill,
2003 Oct 30Manure CanOvegiously, he blarks the heen
2003 Oct 30No Way to the AfterlifeI wonder: is it worth the time?
2003 Oct 30Pointy Sticks With HatsShall I compare thee to an Autumn's day?
2003 Oct 30No Fry-up For PresidentsJacques Chirac would eat no snack
2003 Oct 31Why Do The Unusual? Why Not!Why must you paint your toenails ruby red?
2003 Oct 31Amanda and Her Moose TherapyI traced the lineage of the Spoon
2003 Oct 31Exchange: Offer Me SomethingI'll make you an offer you can't refuse

2003 Nov 1Spooks Like UsOn Halloween lock all your doors
2003 Nov 1Even Elves Entirely ExcellentTwixt D and F I'm found, but missing from this ballad
2003 Nov 1Irresistible TypesMy Love was born on Halloween
2003 Nov 1Yo-Ho-Ho, Piratical BarnaclesAvast me hearties! Haul away!
2003 Nov 2Pirates And Self-LoathingA pattern is emerging
2003 Nov 2Kissable Landlords In JeopardyKiss me quick and go
2003 Nov 2Recommendation To Decline Molloy's MeringuesA pound of grease is just the stuff
2003 Nov 3Hypochondria Isn't The Harlot's ProofI think I have a broken leg
2003 Nov 3Lawfully Invalidated Fishing PermitA pound of osmium breaks all banks
2003 Nov 3The Unwanted HaikuI hate raking leaves
2003 Nov 3Disaster ContestArchaic persons, flummoxed
2003 Nov 4Milk Shouting LouderThis bottle of grease is empty!
2003 Nov 4Gambits Under GlassThis time, then another, then - perhaps - once more
2003 Nov 4Monster ShowtimeOh, the claws, they should not be
2003 Nov 5We Are More Free In PlayI'd like to haiku
2003 Nov 5Pray For DinnerAnother web, another fly, another day has wrapped - yet I
2003 Nov 6If They Reversed The CreosoteIt didn't have to end this way
2003 Nov 6The Makeup TrowelNever have I seen a more delightful face than yours
2003 Nov 6Rather A Pain For The FairyA piece of verse should pierce the soul
2003 Nov 6HairpieceWhen you trim the hair away
2003 Nov 7Spoons Succumb To FawkesA stack of broken furniture is set ablaze tonight
2003 Nov 7Weird GardenMisanthropic canteloupes are plotting in the dark
2003 Nov 7Haiku With ProblemsThe jester donned his liripipe
2003 Nov 7Shaking Moon TeabagThere was a spoonbiller so svelte
2003 Nov 7Trepidation Is Sometimes AllI find myself washed once more, upon a friendly shore
2003 Nov 7What The Great AreA corset for the cranium
2003 Nov 7Pastiche (Coconuts)Palm trees are not known to thrive amid the snow
2003 Nov 7The Frenchified ArrogantWhen pigs grow wings and cows speak French
2003 Nov 7Huddersfield PieDon't let that horse eat that violin
2003 Nov 7Fishy Outlaw EscapesA handsome young mackeral, named Frank,
2003 Nov 7Piggy And The Penguin BankersMy head is full of fish, I fear
2003 Nov 7Suck The WonderI wonder did you dance a Latin dance?
2003 Nov 8Is Confused ByNever did I dream that she would call a spade a spade
2003 Nov 8Debauchery, Alcohol, And Nothing LeftThere appears to be much merriment tonight
2003 Nov 9Etruscan! Tuscan! Bohemian! Persian! Theban?Is it a source of insolent pride
2003 Nov 9Bird Authors' Noble ClaimsThis poem was written by Walter Raleigh
2003 Nov 10Vanishing Dustbins In DagenhamDisappear into the mist!
2003 Nov 10Cluttered NemesisClutch as clutch can
2003 Nov 10This Lame War Mixes Our CementIf I understand you right,
2003 Nov 10My Painful BassCome an' listen to a story 'bout a man named Jake
2003 Nov 10The Abandoned Soup MolestorsThe soup is rather thick today
2003 Nov 10Cult IrregularitiesThe Underbelly Cult
2003 Nov 10Yet Never OpensPerfectly embedded in a blue-tooth net
2003 Nov 10Little Extremes Of Bedtime CocoaShorter than the shortest book
2003 Nov 11Tea With CartoonsBetween the kettle and the cot
2003 Nov 11Londoners In VegasAnother buck; the symbols spin
2003 Nov 11Poem Against The Removal Of Divided TeethRemember, sir, when spooning with your bill
2003 Nov 11Only Our Gambits Shall'Incontinence for all!'
2003 Nov 11SeptuagenariansMuch to my dismay, I turned seventy today
2003 Nov 11Coma CompassesA new indictment for the meek
2003 Nov 11Several Sporting Opportunities For NorwichWhat makes a lively lunchtime
2003 Nov 11Into The Black Of The TentacleThere was a young maiden named Sue
2003 Nov 12The Metallic AllegoryGolden apples in a silver bowl
2003 Nov 12Till Eulenspiegel For AmateursThere never has been a good time
2003 Nov 12The Moon That Howled, "Donald!"The moon shone bright on that surly night
2003 Nov 12When The Wings Are Spread Like MustardIs Haiku passe?
2003 Nov 12ConsequencesThere once was a curious cat
2003 Nov 12Dreaming Of Bagels And JavaWhen you met me in the restaurant
2003 Nov 12Vacancy Is All The RageThis mournful empty space
2003 Nov 12The Ultimate Sob StoryThe squash, I fear, is overcooked
2003 Nov 12Does Anybody Else Think That We Aren't Seeing Much?The paupers, intimiate with secrets of the court,
2003 Nov 13Jilted By Cheapskates"I've saved you so much money, dear"
2003 Nov 13Olympian BreakfastingVenus came to Athens, thence from there to Rome,
2003 Nov 13Whatever Is WhenWlatsome words were whispered
2003 Nov 13Like Butterflies Don'tSo many little fluffy things
2003 Nov 13Oak-worm Veneer HeathcliffCurtains for the front of house
2003 Nov 13Inhaling Woolf's OuevreDon't revile me, don't come near!
2003 Nov 13Fructose Frogs For Little BoysA line of sawdust or cocaine
***2003 Nov 14Recycling GenesisIn the beginning Bob created the woman and the beer
2003 Nov 14Gumshoe In Divers ForestsI've never been the sort of man
2003 Nov 15Dictionary, You MeanPoetry: in voice, a first!
2003 Nov 15Pickpockets, Rejoice!Shall I invite you to a game of darts?
2003 Nov 15Ruined DreamscapesI had an eerie dream last week
2003 Nov 15Pets Are Not What They SeemIf every dog and every cat
2003 Nov 16Sorry, SausalitoSausalito
2003 Nov 16Visitors Not DerailedIf it seems too difficult
2003 Nov 16Captain Of My LandHappy ever after? Well, at least until that day
2003 Nov 16Worse Than Any TitansThe next time you think that
2003 Nov 16The Cauldron That Foils Such Weaklings As UsI see your hoof prints on the stairs
2003 Nov 16Yes, The Very Air Isn't Breatheable Over Our SideI see your shadow on the wall
2003 Nov 17When Things DeceiveChamonix, beside the name
2003 Nov 17Nor Eric Nor Unshaven ShirtsGive a man sufficient rope
2003 Nov 17Exceptional DisgraceA mighty creature is the wife
2003 Nov 17Hazardous WaistForty-seven atheists have gathered round my grave
2003 Nov 17Pleasingly CyclicalIn the evening came the cycles
2003 Nov 17Landscapes FailJust before the avalanche
2003 Nov 17The Anagrams Of Our Jumbled SelvesCompose a line: especial moon
2003 Nov 17Let's Ride Away And Begin Again Without ShameShould one great leader cross the sea
2003 Nov 18The Ill-drained ThreesomeIn the evening came the cycles
2003 Nov 18Glyphs And Cryptographic ChanceRed rocks; blue skies; a snooze and air refreshed
2003 Nov 18God's Void DevoidYou stare impassively at the world
2003 Nov 18Happiness, The Noose Of LovePoetry I never knew found love on your demise
2003 Nov 18The Gods Of My Great GrandfatherBegin again: restart anew
2003 Nov 18The Most Rewarding Kind Of ExercisePut it off until tomorrow
2003 Nov 18Highly Prized HydrocarbonTitrate this acid, if you please, against this salt,
2003 Nov 18The Virginal Chorus Sings AlleluiaHer clavicle was something to behold
2003 Nov 19Swimming Upstream For Several RhymesQuietly humming his favourite tune,
2003 Nov 19Ears Like QuinqueremesYour ears are rather droopy
2003 Nov 19Jerry-built RiffsThere once was lady from Knox
2003 Nov 19When Einstein Saw MadonnaElusively, they flit away
2003 Nov 19Misconstruing HullabalooingWhen shining shoes, you really must
2003 Nov 20Tuppence For The BatteryMarie looked, but saw herself no more,
2003 Nov 20Alphabetically DefinedAnthony Brown caused doubts everywhere
2003 Nov 20I Am TransformedI came upon a startling sight
2003 Nov 20So Let's Not EatThe fridge is lurking in a corner - tempting me to sin
2003 Nov 20Oh! Gosh They've GoneYup, they cleared the decks again
2003 Nov 20Enigma Who Will Someday Prove SecretWhy do you stare, do you think that I care?
2003 Nov 20Twister TokensKen Dodd's dad's dog's dead
2003 Nov 20Fifteen Broken ThingsOne day my name will be up in lights
2003 Nov 20Harrumph Parumph GallumphHow silly, you're suddenly snooty
2003 Nov 20ToothyAfter searching high and low, I finally found
2003 Nov 21Burns With Mayflowers DownstreamMy love is like a red, red nose
2003 Nov 21Insufficiently Stylish BehaviourVerily, I think I'll slump
2003 Nov 21Avoidance Of Outrageous AphorismsThere was an old man, Mr. Tucker
2003 Nov 21Only Known Criminals And Their ZebrasI think I saw an eagle fly across the Interstate
2003 Nov 21Hunting The InnocentJust before the doorbell rang, my lids had fallen shut
2003 Nov 22Fish Jam VotingThe elephants of Iceland were meeting for the talks
2003 Nov 22The Ancient Dreams Of KenAgainst a sky of brooding green
2003 Nov 22Solicitude Is For Featherweight FoolsPlease, my dear, take off your coat
2003 Nov 23The Allure Is Fortunately PassingWhen I was only seventeen, I fell in love with a Gypsy queen
2003 Nov 23Boating PleasuresWe went to sea in a gravy boat one gray autumnal day
2003 Nov 23The Frozen Meow"I must remove that oil stain" muttered the piebald rat
2003 Nov 23The Ontological Rabbit-hutchComparisons are odious, it has been said,
2003 Nov 23Never Knowingly Renounce Walk-on PartsA small incision in the chest-wall
2003 Nov 23Disembodied StuffDispense with this vulgarity!
2003 Nov 24Ultimate DetergentMust you hone your scimitar?
2003 Nov 24Blessings Aplenty For ApsleyGod speed to you, fair travellers all
2003 Nov 24Reeling From The Effects Of BeerNinety-nine bottles of beer on the wall
2003 Nov 24WoodfiredPizzas spin lazily in the inky depths of space
2003 Nov 24My Special NosebagIf falling stars had parachutes
2003 Nov 24The Food Of MinotaursI hear that you like pepperoni
2003 Nov 24Tale Of Municipal RibaldryWhat strange goings-on have there been in this town
2003 Nov 24Arise, False Dawns!Goliath in the cutlery-drawer
2003 Nov 24Our Knoll StrollWhere was JFK, the evening I was shot?
2003 Nov 25Eardrums In The Dark TheatreI never sensed a larger void
2003 Nov 25Underwater CloudsAborted in its prime
2003 Nov 25Words That Fail MOTsPreserve us from another bout
2003 Nov 25Classes Unusual In School Environs'Mediæval frolics in the gym?', the porter queried,
2003 Nov 25Dubious PeacenikA walking shrub shall grace our shores
2003 Nov 25If BentleyGeorge Dubbya Bush
2003 Nov 25Bloodthirsty Tales And Unseen LemonsI feel I must indulge in certain vices
2003 Nov 25Growing Like BacteriaAnother turning point, a fork stuck in the road
2003 Nov 26What Concerned Us As Free ThinkersTell me the secret
2003 Nov 26Breaking The Law Of ThermodynamicsI know the Spoonbill secret
2003 Nov 27Grudges Over The Family Fishing RightsAnthony Blair
2003 Nov 27Arbitrary MegalomaniacsI've been lectured again by the stockman
2003 Nov 27Nothing Percolates Like TreacleHave you ever thought of peppering your toes?
2003 Nov 27Your Own Secret BodyA mesomorph, a mesomorph
2003 Nov 27Evident HypocrisyThe stack's not much fun anymore
***2003 Nov 27Misplaced DevotionFollow the players all over the globe
2003 Nov 27Girlish Lavender HuesHow feminine, this colour scheme!
2003 Nov 27Heresy Of Cosmic SanityThe moon is made of cheese, and so
2003 Nov 28Phew! Poodles!Beans, beans, the musical fruit
2003 Nov 28Food For Sentimental Souls Like UsTurkey, yams and pumpkin pie
2003 Nov 28Clerihews Are More Fun Than SexCharles, the Prince of Wales
2003 Nov 28Palindromes, Madam?Sex at one, Kate! Take no taxes
2003 Nov 28Hades Doesn't MatterPersephone will not emerge; I've heard it from the highest source
2003 Nov 28Universally HorsewhippedVenus and Serena
2003 Nov 28Unless You're The Household PetAbrasively, your parrot squawks
2003 Nov 28Who Would Right Their Wrongs?Our curls may give a false impression
2003 Nov 28Allegory Of Scandinavian NuptualsRubbing out the guide-book
2003 Nov 29Sold For LeatherIt's time to shampoo my peruke
2003 Nov 29Voluptuary MeterDusty streets and peeling paint
2003 Nov 29Wink!I think it's time for a limerick
2003 Nov 29Dodgy FlapsToo gracious for a moonlight flit
2003 Nov 29The Proper ToesA man with a prong on his nose
2003 Nov 29Thought Of The Mayoral FoolFurtively, a polar bear
2003 Nov 30Often During Christmas'Twas Christmas in the workhouse

2003 Dec 1Poetry Means Never Having To WinkPuerile and dull is the Limerick form
2003 Dec 1Mittens DisturbItems that do not give offence
2003 Dec 1CollisionsListen, my children, and you shall hear
2003 Dec 1Electra SyndromeRalibut of Halibut pretended to be mad,
2003 Dec 1Hungry For KeysRowan is a wood that I can't eat
2003 Dec 1English Literature CodeRhyming isn't everything, and scansion's overrated
2003 Dec 2Dyslexia Is A Condition Much Like Nay OtherA narry stight, a brentle geeze
2003 Dec 3Situtationist FuneralPallbearers of uneven height
2003 Dec 3Increasingly Preposterous HomiliesThe champagne glass lies shattered
2003 Dec 3Popcorn Of The FrenchWhen tapdancing down the Champs Elysees
2003 Dec 3I Admire The WillingnessAs we know, there are known knowns
2003 Dec 3Things Like Cigars"It's coming...like Christmas" they said
2003 Dec 4Sometimes Almost RoundishPasquale's famously roundish tartan muffled
2003 Dec 4Cogito Ergo PogoErgonomic chairs and beds are presently on sale
2003 Dec 5Boohoo HoodooHow sad that ode was ended--and why I want to know?
2003 Dec 5Saying Much, While Keeping SilentHe sponsored a Gonk
2003 Dec 5Bondage Followed Swiftly By KickingsOne misty, moisty morning, when cloudy was the weather
2003 Dec 5Lament For The Unseen CakeWho will come with me, who will come play?
2003 Dec 6Stop Playing Tiddlywinks When I'm WatchingOn the plains of Andalucia, I met a honking horse
2003 Dec 7The Great White Blancmange Of GodClutched against her breast
2003 Dec 8Extraterrestial WingnutsHooper wouldn't say his name
2003 Dec 8Wings Of Men Who WaitThe early morning moon is pale as a chalk daub
2003 Dec 8Destiny In PoundsExcuse me, darling, have you put on some weight?
2003 Dec 8Drawn By The Pencils Of NightWhen all the world is still and quiet
2003 Dec 8From Here, Hence And FurtherIs there anything I can say
2003 Dec 8Rude FeminismCarol took my G.I. Joe and hitted him with a stick
2003 Dec 9Etiquette Toward Farm AnimalsWhen addressing a horse, remember the rule:
2003 Dec 9Bashful Statements Of StatehoodThe denizens of Alabama
2003 Dec 9If I Illuminate Life Only Slightly, I ShallI was born a prisoner in your dungeon of fish
2003 Dec 9Carbuncle City From My WindowErotic gherkin, looming in the dusk
2003 Dec 9Whatever Is Your PleasureAcross the rolling Irish hills, he rode for Dublin-town
2003 Dec 10"Enough!" Said Old McDonaldInspiration isn't need - not when you're a pote
2003 Dec 10Wanton Destruction Is AssuredGot any new poems to wreck?
2003 Dec 10If Wishes Were Geese, Nobody Would HonkI knew a sinister minister
2003 Dec 10Biscuitry In Clean SheetsMine was only mortar
2003 Dec 10Abuse Of Frequent PositivismWhile I was panhandling one bright sunny day
2003 Dec 11Wahhh! Sob Sniff!Not every poem can please each aesthete
2003 Dec 11Biblical SoundbitesThe Tower of Babel, good sir
2003 Dec 11Twilight Of A Flaming PieSitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun
2003 Dec 12Smells Like ParfumCéline, we'll make a fortune if you'll sweat into this vat
2003 Dec 12Pies And AstrolabesBody-rot, on crocodiles
2003 Dec 12When I SplashSometimes I like to run around in just my underoos
2003 Dec 12Somebody Is RottingIt seemed (to
2003 Dec 12Poets Into BeastsI know what it's like to be a poet.
2003 Dec 13Sundry Things Spread ThinlyOnce a brave Sultana
2003 Dec 13Boutiques Full Of Festive Knick-knacksGreensleeves and wassail, angels galore
2003 Dec 14Sorry ExcusesCold, you say?
2003 Dec 15Tumbling Over The SweetsYour babka, I hear, is delicious. Your cheesecake is second to none.
2003 Dec 15Loneliness Corrupted By FishesHomesick while at home--candles melt like promises
2003 Dec 15Misuse Of That Darn AnimalDon't wear a cat for a hat
2003 Dec 16Mythical QuestIn days of yore, when dragons roamed the world
2003 Dec 17Papal DisgustIf you lift a dog with a crane, will he count to infinity?
2003 Dec 17Nesting Penguins Throughout Asia MinorI can't believe I left the grass in my pocket
2003 Dec 18Forever In Love With MarilynThere was an old goatherd named Bill
2003 Dec 18Lyrics To Kill The Bliss Of Heart-throbsHer tortured lip was dripping blood
2003 Dec 19Greatly Exaggerated Half-truthsTim sits alone at his desk in the dark
2003 Dec 19The Mundane Factory BluesNumber ninety-seven was a worker at the plant
2003 Dec 21Ill-fated Flyover On Insect WingsSee the tiny aerodrome
2003 Dec 21Subzero IgloosA frozen smile has crossed her sullen face
2003 Dec 22About BuckWhat a strange little boy is Timmy John Jones
2003 Dec 23Someone Who For Once Is Not Averse To Changing LanesBespectacled, mustachioed--a man nondescript
2003 Dec 23Peaches En FamilleThis mortal skull that looks on me
2003 Dec 27Splat Went The Fig Custard FruitcakesKaboom and kerplunk, vavoom and achoo
2003 Dec 29Lament Not The Passing Of HaliborangeTwenty past midnight, I want to go home
2003 Dec 29Something Beyond HymenopteraThe version I favour
2003 Dec 29First Glimpse Of Summer This AutumnA 21st Century Christmas Carol
2003 Dec 29Windy City IciclesA man must walk down twenty roads
2003 Dec 29The Shown Tear Of A CloudbusterI'd rest, if I could, but a holiday's on
2003 Dec 29Pay Cash For Everything Except UnguentsLate Christmas Eve the lot was dark, and so I filched a tree
2003 Dec 29Ignoring ProblemsBehold mankind, how fragile it's life
2003 Dec 30Why Not? Your Knots Do!"Compliments of the season" annoys me beyond reason

This page was last modified by The Spoonmaster, April 13 2023.