My wife arose at dawn that day
My wife arose at noon
My children frolicked in the hay
(A habit I could not gainsay)
My life is ending soon
Two homes with but a single purse
With twenty mouths to feed
I cannot take it any more
The light's too dim to read

Two houses on a single hill
Two tablets, but a single pill
No sugar for the man who misbehaves
No peace for him who more than one spouse craves

For years I rose at half past two
To stumble into bed
The same, although a different one
A daughter where there was a son
A woman where a wed.

For years I've lived without remorse
And sat at careless tables
And ordered each and every course
From cans with double labels

Two meals with but a single mouth
And two directions - both are south
No solace for the boy who loves two girls
No oyster dares house two unequal pearls

I wish I hadn't done it, but alas it's far too late
The doorman's quick arrival was the seal upon my fate.