To sate my large enormous lust
Two women must I wed
The matter has been much discussed
With anyone whom I can trust
And everyone has said:

"To marry once is folly, true
It's anything but nice
And now you want to marry two
And though I know it's up to you
I'll give you my advice:

"Go to the mineshaft, take your pick
It must not strike too hard
And if your rival tries to lick
Your powerful and mighty brick
Give him this little card:

"Go up the stairs and knock twelve times
And state the password "TOM"
And if you find a word that rhymes
Repeat in backward French, betimes

"And out she'll come, benegligéd
And, dulcet, cry "Come in!"
And when the monstrous fee's been paid
You'll know that you could not have stayed
To sanction such a sin."