The Spoonbill Generator

Save Our Dickensian Surrogates

To build a good business you must       [Kansas Sam]

Ensure that it doesn't go bust       [Beefy]

'Til trading suspends       [Roland]

And your broker intends       [F]

To turn your good name into dust       [Beefy]

Your staff should be servile and stout       [Roland]

And adept at the shred-and-throw-out       [Kansas Sam]

Of ledgers and logs       [Roland]

And out-of-spec cogs       [Kansas Sam]

Whenever the bailiff's about       [Roland]

Be sure to delay paying debts       [Beefy]

Your cash should be spent laying bets       [Roland]

Aspire to waste       [F]

Any trust that is based       [Roland]

On Alan Greenspan tete a tetes       [F]

When the gov'ment inspector calls round       [Beefy]

Ensure that the typists are found       [Roland]

Affixed to their chairs       [N]

In different-sizes pairs       [Roland]

And all making hardly a sound       [Grayman]

Your dividends, if they are paid       [Roland]

Should be half of the profits you've made       [Beefy]

Half, though, of nil       [Kansas Sam]

Puts naught in the till       [Karin]

And your shares'll be barred from all trade       [N]

On the Bourse or Wall Street be sure       [F]

To study the trading room floor       [N]

Crawl about like a slug       [F]

On some fairly strong drug       [Roland]

And your "rep" in lads' culture will soar       [Beefy]

And lastly: your Year-End Report       [Roland]

Should confuse beyond power of thought       [Beefy]

Stay vague on your aims       [Roland]

Make toplofty claims       [Karin]

And pray you don't wind up in court.       [N]

Contributors: , Surlaw, Apsley, Roland.
Poem finished: 19th August 2004 by Apsley.